Hey there. I'm a transguy -- or, at least, I think I am. I feel like a dude. But this isn't something I've known since I was a kid (I didn't even know it was a thing that you could be until highschool, and I didn't think it could even possibly apply to me until a few years after that)... and it seems that most trans* stories involve some level of "I always knew, ever since I was little".
... So...
I suppose what I'm asking is, is it okay that I didn't know right away? There are some other things, sure -- I would disassociate a lot, and frequently fantasize during my free time (usually about being a boy, doing boring every day things)... but I never bothered to 'crossdress' all that much, I never proclaimed that I was a boy, etc.
I worry that perhaps, maybe, I've somehow talked myself into it, which is subsequently bad for both myself and the transgender community, should I go back on my word (and make it look like it's even kind of a choice.)
(I'm so sorry for rambling, I'm a bit stressed at the moment. Thank you for bothering to take a look.)
Hi jack,
Welcome to the site!
There is no age that is important. The last scientific data I saw was many FtM start questioning their gender later than many MtF. 14 was the mean quoted for "young" FtM. But many don't transition until much later and many FtM on this site have raised their children before transitioning.
So you are normal!
I started questioning in my 50s and I'm certainly not one of the "I always knew" group. I always knew something didn't quite fit, but not what it was. I don't feel the age is important either.
Many trans people take longer to figure it out.
Welcome!
Of course it's ok if you didn't know right away. It doesn't matter whether you're 6, 16 or 60 when you figure it out; the fact that you've figured it out at all is is the only thing that matters.
I'll be honest with you: the only reason why I figured it out when I was 5 is because I grew up in a repressive, sexist society that had über-strict rules about gender norms for children. If I was growing up today, I'm pretty darn sure it would've taken me much longer to figure it out because I wouldn't have been under as much pressure to conform to female stereotypes.
This is something that people come to at different times. Relax and welcome.