Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: aleon515 on September 16, 2013, 01:15:22 AM

Title: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: aleon515 on September 16, 2013, 01:15:22 AM
Funny experience. Ran into someone I used to go to church with (when I went to the UCC). She kind of did a once over look like surprise. Nothing nasty. There was a bit of awkwardness. I said "Are you 'Sarah'?" I knew she was, it was to give me time. Then she introduced her husband. I said "I'm going by Jay now". And we talked retirement from teaching as what's REALLY interesting. Anyway first time this has happened. I wondered how this would go, as I do run into people I know.

Actually had a rather weird experience of seeing my ex-principal. I don't know if he saw me as it was quite a crowded place. But in any case we didn't actually meet.

--Jay
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: Cindy on September 16, 2013, 04:31:25 AM
It is fun!

One of my (female) students was discussing projects with another (male) medic who has known me for years but wasn't aware of my progression.

My student said along the lines. I'm doing this project with X, the abbreviation I use of my former name that I keep for professional reasons. She has been very supportive. He replied, I think you mean some one else; I've known him for years.  She replied I don't think you would recognise her anymore.

He sent me a very nice email later that day congratulating me and offering his love and support.

I have to admit people have been very nice to me.

Cindy
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: big kim on September 16, 2013, 05:17:56 AM
The service at church was led by a former teacher,he asked what my maiden name was when I was one of his pupils,"Brown" I replied.He asked did I have any other relatives at school,I told him Kate and Maureen,he asked which one I was and without thinking I told him I was Jimmy!He was a gentleman about it and realised why I had been such a troublesome kid
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: Northern Jane on September 16, 2013, 06:16:03 AM
It has happened a few times.

A few months after transition/SRS a salesman called on my new employer and thought I looked kind of familiar so the next time he was in my home town he was asking people if I had a brother. Of course he found out what happened to "my brother" and word got around the office but my employer was very supportive.

The other time it happened was 20 years down the road when I found out a cousin I had been rather close to as a teenager was in the same part  of the country where I was living. We made arrangements (by telephone) to meet for dinner but neither of  us recognized the other! Since there was only the two of us hanging around waiting for someone else, we eventually figured it out. I said to him, "My but you have changed!" He took a step back, looked me up and down, and said "And you say I have changed!!!!"  ;D
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: MaryXYX on September 16, 2013, 06:47:54 AM
The only incident I can think of is when I went to a play because one of my daughters was in it - without telling her I was going.  One of my daughters told me that at the interval two of my daughters (oh stop counting!) were standing with their coffee and one said "That woman looks familiar but I can't place her ... OMG it's Dad!!!"
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: Shannon1979 on September 16, 2013, 07:26:01 AM
Not had that experience yet. But i look so entierly diffent now i am not sure if people would reconize me anyway. :angel:
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: MaryXYX on September 16, 2013, 01:12:05 PM
They said they recognised me from some mannerisms, so my appearance might be different enough.
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: bethanyjadefowell on September 16, 2013, 02:15:41 PM
Won't happen to me for some time to come, but one of my aunties (who does not want to see me anymore), has said to my mum that she can come and see me when it's all done. How is that gong to be for her when she thinks that I will still look like 'Simon', if the time comes that she wants to see me?

I see no reason to tell her I've changed, as she's been told many times that I will change totally, and I might not want to see her anyway.
Title: Re: Running into people you knew "before"
Post by: aleon515 on September 17, 2013, 02:59:38 AM
It was a pretty pleasant experience, even if a bit on the awkward side. Of course she is a very nice person, who I ran into. Most people have been nice to me too Cindy (with a couple exceptions), though I suspect I have an easier time going the "other way", so to speak. I don't think I look so different. I think "we" (she and I) look like the male and female twins or something. (This is how I talk about myself when I need to talk about a gendered experience of some kind. Usually I just say "I".) Of course, I'm not so far into my transition, but I think I will not ever look that different. But I could imagine someone passing me by if they didn't manage to get a good look.

--Jay