I've been feeling that way lately. Just so ugly. I know I'm not ugly but then again am I? I mean, I was born with a man body, is it any wonder why that dress doesn't fit me right? In art class they teach the different proportions of males and females. Why can't I just draw myself they way I want to look; like her? Why is my bodily appearance so important to me?
Help me remind myself and maybe yourself that we are beautiful!
Quote from: dr girlfriend on September 17, 2013, 12:27:33 AM
Help me remind myself and maybe yourself that we are beautiful!
All women are beautiful.
The condition of being feminine, however that happens to you, carries with it indescribable beauty. Without it the world would be a drab hard place.
Feminine comes in all shapes, sizes, and textures. If you are a woman (as clearly you are), what ever way you are is your version of feminine. It is no less or more beautiful than any other women's version, but it is unique and special because it is yours.
A nearly universal condition of womanhood is difficulty accepting ourselves as we are. That's a shame because we are so beautiful and wonderful that we deserve to appreciate what we bring to humanity.
Plain, I'd be ok being plain, I'd settle for being a total 5. I'd be more than capable of being yet another "I wouldn't hit that with your's Frank', instead of being told I was 'handsome' or the usual I seem to get, 'you sure have a wonderful son' aimed at my mother in conversation.
I want to look like calling me 'son' would be stupid, pointless, idiotic, clearly wrong.
I want to have an appearance that suggests I am clearly female, even if not appearing in any day dreams any time soon.
I know the feelings also. It just takes time & lots of estrogen I guess. Maybe a visit or two with a plastic surgeon.
Also MTF with still a ugly male body to try & change for the better. My breasts are improving however the rest of my body seems resistant to change. It's not easy for any of us.
Please have a great day, go shopping or paint your toe nails. It helps me kind of relax.
I feel this way every day of my life. I have the body and face of a neanderthal, and I'm so afraid of trying to dress up because I don't want to see a gorilla in a dress when I look in the mirror. :(
This had a lot of bearing on me deciding to live my life androgynously and dropping the MtF designation for good. I know that it probably doesn't help to continue to look at the photos in "You look fabulous darling" either, because though I applaud the young women all 8's - 10's I do end up having to deal with my own meh reality. But then again, perhaps we can all be attractive in different sorts of ways resolving to be kind, considerate and loving to others so that any doggy looks may offset and alter any negative perceptions brought on by exterior packaging. I'm practicing smiling at other people a lot, it is disarming and works wonders!
I always feel so ugly. I wish I never was introduced to a mirror. I was so excited a while back when i first heard of face transplants, just didn't turn out to be what I thought it was....
"You are so beautiful to me, can't you see..? You're everything i hoped for, you're everything I need. You are so beautiful to me."
I let that song play over and over in my head to brace myself for another day of being out and about as a non passable thang. I am occasionally startled by mirrors or photos that capture more of him than her as I feel so great inside and sometimes forget that most people do not see what i feel.
I have countless experiences talking with traditionally gorgeous people who can still feel ugly. Oh what we say to ourselves! We continue to work on self acceptance eh?
Yes I do - constantly.
Sometimes, us women have bad hair days. Sometimes, us women have bad makeup days. Sometimes, us women have bad fashion days. Sometimes, us women have bad body days. It's all part of learning how to live presenting as a woman. How we cope with and/or sublimate those inevitable insecurities is what really matters.
There is no easy way around it. The later we transition, the more "catching up" there is to take into account. We have our work cut out for us even more than a cis gendered person. It's best to accept this than assume it will be easy to see oneself as beautiful all the time.
A few things usually pull me through a potentially "bad" day are:
• changing outfits
• wearing less makeup
• getting away from the mirror
• reiterating who I am irrespective of my gender through being active with hobbies, chores, or things that yield a sense of completion
Quote from: Tessa James on September 17, 2013, 01:01:28 PM
"You are so beautiful to me, can't you see..? You're everything i hoped for, you're everything I need. You are so beautiful to me."
I let that song play over and over in my head to brace myself for another day of being out and about as a non passable thang. I am occasionally startled by mirrors or photos that capture more of him than her as I feel so great inside and sometimes forget that most people do not see what i feel.
I have countless experiences talking with traditionally gorgeous people who can still feel ugly. Oh what we say to ourselves! We continue to work on self acceptance eh?
This x 1000. Even before I started transition I had to learn how to focus on the few things about my looks that I was actually OK with and to be able to focus on that.
Sure there will always be a lot that I'm not happy with, but I've learned the most important thing I can do is look into the mirror and say "you look good today" and believe it.
I cry when I hear myself speak
really
I am almost to the point of never talking again... This is what give me a bad day/week/month/omg my voice is disgusting
I feel that way most of the time and often tell myself so when I do look in the mirror. I try to offset how negative I am about my looks by at least dressing nicely and presenting myself as best as I can, even if I'm not so good looking.
I too find mostly fault in my appearance, voice and height. I do have nice green/brown eyes :)
Oh God yes. All the time. Usually I just down the lights as much as possible and hope it goes away.
Hey! I don't think I like you guys calling yourself ugly. Only people who are ugly IMO are those who are cruel and cannot learn to be nice. Not everyone can be society's version of "perfect" and Honestly I find people who are not more pretty, more attractive and more beautiful.
The world would rather be boring if we all had perfect noses, hair, eyes faces, voice shape ect ect!
So embrace your uniqueness and see you are beautiful!
I've never considered myself an attractive person, I usually think I look like crap and/or I look crappier than I usually look
I see my flaws that I would like to correct and probably like most people I am too self critical
I just try to not obsess over it
You all are amazing. I would expect nothing less from some of the most spiritually, mentally, and physically advanced people on the planet. I truly believe that. I typed this up then went to bed feeling so depressed. Big man head, big man feet, man this man that.....
Today I met a CIS woman who was so very old. She was limping a bit and also had her left arm in a sling. He days of beauty and grace were long behind her. Still, she smiled at me as she struggled to put groceries into her shopping cart with one hand. She was so happy! I'm not usually the chatty type but we talked for a while holding up the line in Wal Mart. I helped her with her bags but she helped me even more by transposing her happiness, in spite of her physical situation, to me. She was amazing! An angel.
This is what I want to be. That enormously happy old woman who could barely walk and with only one hand to use who's presence penetrated me. This is the true definition of beauty and this beauty is what I constantly see here with all of you. We all have our own physical situations (although for some of you that situation is being wildly attractive :p ) still we get up everyday and stand up to a world that may or may not agree with us.
We just have to remember that we are all beautiful even though it is sooooo easy to forget! Thanks for the reminder everyone.
yes i'm 32 years ugly, cant fix it anymore if someone is curious about me, i've posted a pic in the transsexual thread, then everyone can see why i'm ugly
It saddens me when I hear people talk about how ugly they are. Sure, we have members here with congenital issues, some with strongly male facial features, some (like me!) with maddeningly male fat distribution (i.e. beer belly). I really do believe though, that beauty is not just bone structure, hair color, and makeup. It must have a component from within as well.
I think we should never think in terms of "ugly". We are all beautiful. When you look in the mirror you see a body, albeit a man's body. But when you look beyond the body there is a beautiful, feminine, and kind woman within you. We are all afflicted with these male bodies, but that does not take from our beauty.
Even cis women sometimes have have difficulty with their looks. They sometimes strive to look outwardly "fabulous" especially as they get older. I have never seen an ugly woman. A woman's true beauty comes from within and that is why we are all so fortunate to be the beautiful women that we are.
The lady you met in Wal Mart is a perfect example of true feminine beauty. I hope we can all live our lives to become be as beautiful as she.
Ciara.
Well i am ugly, even for a male, i just remeber how I'll be in the future and get through it the best i can.
Women come in all shapes and sizes and some even have lots of "male" features.
When I start feeling down about my own features I just take the time to observe the women that I see around me, and I notice that none of them are perfect. Very, very few women have the same looks or the same figures as the women that you see on TV or on the covers of fashion magazines. That's Madison Avenue working to sell an image of perfection that is unattainable. They use Photoshop to "fix up" the images that they print.
One thought that helps to ground me is when I realize that other people do not see the same things that I see when I look at myself. We just can't undo the mental images that we have stored in our brains from years of seeing ourselves in the mirror a particular way. I still see a male face looking back at me when I look in the mirror in girl mode, but I'm constantly told by other people that I look like any other woman and that they wouldn't even notice Eva out in public based on how she looks. And I've got a large torso, large hands, large forearms, a thick neck, and linebacker shoulders - the same as many of you have.
Our physical looks are certainly important, but our real beauty comes from the feminine and caring woman that's inside of us.
Good thoughts about reality over idealism Eva Marie! I look at women shopping at the mall and it tells me that and more, some cis women I end up feeling sorry for!
Quote from: Ciara on September 18, 2013, 08:05:59 AM
I think we should never think in terms of "ugly". We are all beautiful. When you look in the mirror you see a body, albeit a man's body. But when you look beyond the body there is a beautiful, feminine, and kind woman within you. We are all afflicted with these male bodies, but that does not take from our beauty.
Even cis women sometimes have have difficulty with their looks. They sometimes strive to look outwardly "fabulous" especially as they get older. I have never seen an ugly woman. A woman's true beauty comes from within and that is why we are all so fortunate to be the beautiful women that we are.
The lady you met in Wal Mart is a perfect example of true feminine beauty. I hope we can all live our lives to become be as beautiful as she.
Ciara.
There is so much truth to this.
Thinking of oneself as ugly is only self defeating. I'll admit that I'm not even close to being were I want to be in terms of looks and I'm often prone to bouts of self pity, but I try not let myself believe that I'm "ugly".
As a child my family and I would refer to my left eye as my "good" eye and my right as my "bad" eye. Finally when I was about 12 one person asked why I called it bad. He went on ti explain that an eye can't be "good" or "bad" but labelling it that dies nothing but make my feel bad.
As for never seeing an "ugly" woman? There has only been one exception - the wife of a friend of mine. Yes she could be described as "homely" but societies definition of beauty, but that's not it. What makes her "ugly" is her general negative attitude towards everything and almost everyone.
I have my days of feeling unattractive. Especially with my voice not being where I want it. I get ma'amed but I'm just not where I want to be, and only time can change that. I never feel ugly though. To me "ugly" encompasses more than just looks, and I'm a pretty good person.
I'm envious, envious of the fat girl walking down the street because she has a large rack. Sure she likely has issues plaguing her, but those hooters screeeeeeam out female. They're likely way too big, likely wrecking her back, but, well girls have breasts and men don't. And they sway and bounce like the real thing, not something artificially arrived at.
That one annoying anatomical feature is so telling and so completely asserting, that a casual observer couldn't care less about the rest of the view. Clearly not a man.
So many people care so little about their appearances in public. But so many times, it seems even so unlikely too, the very unlikely very unpretty lass, and she's pushing a baby stroller. Well some guy must love her eh :) It's not the end of the world to look the opposite of 'hot'. And then there is my sister. I have seen men act clearly like idiots near her. She's one of the beautiful people. Alas, all the men she has known, something always happens eh. They don't work out. 50 years of looking hot, and she hasn't got the ring yet.
Looks won't make you successful, but, dang it, a set of boobs sure make a difference in being mistaken for female.
I can of course understand the problem of the FTM crowd not liking having the damned things I guess.
ATTN population!
Subject: LIFE
Message: Everyone has issues! Welcome to life, humans!
:D :D :D
Basically what I'm saying is... No matter how well you pass, no matter how "hot" you are, no matter how rich/successful/famous you are, no matter how much money you saved on your car insurance... Life is full of issues that we cannot predict. Every single person on the planet has different things to deal with regardless of the conditionals.
Our best bet is to accept our lives as they are and move on as best we can- at whatever pace / style seems appropriate and effective. There will never be a life without challenges that lie ahead, and that's also kind of the beauty of it all. It's what makes us better, stronger, and more equipped to handle whatever life throws at us next.
I'd say, as trans people, we'll end up being some pretty darn strong human beings in the end- and I'm already excited to be on the road heading in that direction.
Quote from: Jennygirl on September 19, 2013, 01:36:57 AM
ATTN population!
Subject: LIFE
Message: Everyone has issues! Welcome to life, humans!
:D :D :D
Basically what I'm saying is... No matter how well you pass, no matter how "hot" you are, no matter how rich/successful/famous you are, no matter how much money you saved on your car insurance... Life is full of issues that we cannot predict. Every single person on the planet has different things to deal with regardless of the conditionals.
Our best bet is to accept our lives as they are and move on as best we can- at whatever pace / style seems appropriate and effective. There will never be a life without challenges that lie ahead, and that's also kind of the beauty of it all. It's what makes us better, stronger, and more equipped to handle whatever life throws at us next.
I'd say, as trans people, we'll end up being some pretty darn strong human beings in the end- and I'm already excited to be on the road heading in that direction.
Awesome! :D
Jenny, Well said. Most of us received way too much T stuff early in life. We had no real choice in the matter. All any of us can do it to accept our normal feminine nature & try to correct & improve our bodies to balance with our correct gender. Some of us are very lucky it seems but most of us have a difficult task in changing the larger type bodies we were "given".
My best to all my girl friends as we change & improve to the best possible level.
I'm OK/fair with a passable type body & face but it has always been very hard to live full time as normal person. Way too much facial & body hair. I just hate it!!!
Anyway good luck to all girl friends.
All the time.
sure, i think the road of being a Trans, is very special and pure but there are some catches to overcome,
my country is transfobe in general, so i'm hesitant to go outside as Judiana, so my personal balance being me is a difficult one... Being J and Judiana is hard, and i cant express myself in the way i want.
i'm hopelesly stuck in toughts about what will happen if i change to Judiana, and that is a exausting way of living my life at the moment...
the sheer joy and happyness to be Judiana is overpowered by my lack of safety even in my own home, closing the curtains, turn off phones and doorbells
even then i cant relax so my mind is bleeping around with me al the time.. so then i change clothing again to J again sadly
long story short.... Being a Trans is difficult and very special at the same time... i feel pretty and plain ugly at the same time... and moor ugly then pretty
I'll never be stunning, but I'll settle for being ME, NOT the construct I wore over the miserable and hidden me that I had to endure before.
Be strong, I was never a particularly good looking male, and that's not a good starting point for my girly side!
Alex