Ahoy there, me hearties!
Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. In honour of this prestigious occasion, I'd like us to share our favourite pirate jokes, stories, whatever... and generally do piratey stuff.
I'll start with one of my favourite pirate jokes...
Q: Why are pirates called 'pirates'?
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A: Because they just arrrrrrre.
I've already had a day of this!!!!
A great day in my opinion!
Deserving of celebration in my opinion.
So, gulp.
A pirate enters the men's room, steps up to a urinal, opens his fly and out pops a steering wheel. The guys at the other urinals can't help but notice.
"Whoa," one says. "You have a steering wheel instead of a penis?!"
"Aye," says the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts!"
Arrr
And of course the dyslexic pirate, RAAAAAAAAAA
Oh dear parrot
LOL ;D
So... how do pirates post on Susan's?
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With their smarrrrrrrt phones.
Arr, ahoy there me salty sea dogs.. Get ta work tha lot've ya, or I'll keel haul all of ye!
ARRRRR really bad pirate joke. Even worse than how many legs and eyes do eight pirates have - 8
The treasure ship was on its way back to port. About
halfway there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and crossbones waving
in the breeze!
"Captain, captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate.
"First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea
chest, and bring me my red shirt." The first mate did so.
Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to
fight. So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship was repelled
without casualties.
A few days later, the ship was again approached, this time by two
pirate sloops!
"Captain, captain, what should we do?"
"First mate, bring me my red shirt!"
The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought heroically, and
managed to defeat both boarding parties, though they took many
casualties. That night, the survivors had a great celebration. The
first mate asked the captain the secret of his bright red shirt.
"It's simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not
show, and the crew continues to fight without fear."
A week passed, and they were nearing their home port, when
suddenly the lookout cried that ten pirate ships were
approaching!
"Captain, captain, we're in terrible trouble, what do we do?"
The first mate looked expectantly at the miracle worker.
The captain commanded, "First mate.... bring me my
brown pants!"
No Pirate Day would be complete without the most awesome scene from one of my favourite games of all time - The Curse of Monkey Island - in which pirate captain Guybrush Threepwood tries to order his lazy crew to help him sail his vessel... and they come up with an epic way to avoid carrying out his orders:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-9my0tsutw&feature=player_detailpage#t=150
We need a sea shanty (metal style) for pirate day Check out Shipwrecked by Alestorm and the brilliant video(Can't post)
Not many pirates around!
The pirate invasion near where I live happened last month. Its a big thing because they found the QAR around Beaufort Inlet.
Me be readin that as intentionally. No excuses needed to talk like a pirate! Arrrrr!
Quote from: Mariax on September 19, 2013, 06:41:19 AM
Me be readin that as intentionally. No excuses needed to talk like a pirate! Arrrrr!
Especially where I'm from: people from the West of England talk like pirates every single day of their lives. ;D
OK, here's another one:
Q: Where do pirates go to get healthy?
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A: Gym, lad.
Arrrrr, mateys! I knew this day be coming 'round again on me calendar. Here be me favourite video fer ye:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b76BkjsAvc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Arr who's a pretty parrot?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4814466224425072%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=21027e8c1d3f6180d58f77daa3e592db8e74338a)
One-eyed girl, ye be pretty as a picther! Where ye been me whole life?
Don't make me use my "Death Ray" pretty Devlyn me harty.
Arrrr, whatever ye be usin on me, I'm ashore to be enjoyin it, me missy!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 19, 2013, 07:45:56 AM
Arrrrr, mateys! I knew this day be coming 'round again on me calendar. Here be me favourite video fer ye:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b76BkjsAvc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
That was particularly funny! And dumb!
Arrrrrrrr
Arrrrrr, dumb fits me like a glove fits a, er, a hook, matey!