Ok, I'm having trouble finding actual information on becoming female, so i have a few questions.
1) first steps, what should i do first?
2) what are the surgerys?
3) what do they do?
4) how much do they cost?
5) what concerns do i have?
6) what hormones should i ask about once i get someone to ask.
7) who should i ask?
8 ) how do i cope till i can come out?
9) any other tips or facts?
Check out the "Transitioning" section on here. Lots of good information. Also could be a good place to ask specific questions about it. To somewhat answer your question, it really depends on what "becoming female" means to you personally. To some, they are already female and don't need procedures or hormones to do that. Others feel the need for just hormones alone. Some may just be satisfied with facial feminization surgery. As for what hormones to ask for, I don't think you will have to, they will prescribe what is right for you. You could certainly make suggestions if you wanted but the doctor should be able to prescribe on their own without your input.
My suggestion for a first step before worrying about all of this is talk to a therapist with experience dealing with gender.
Oops, guess it is the wrong place, so sorry.
No I didn't mean that at all, just a suggestion.
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 21, 2013, 07:37:22 PM
No I didn't mean that at all, just a suggestion.
I'm just new is all, so still very little idea about all this.
Your post is fine here, Xhianil.
I'd like to make it extra clear that I wasn't saying that you made this post in the wrong thread. I was only trying to let you know that the transitioning section is there if you had more questions about it specifically. It truly wasn't my intention at all, as you can see I also did answer your question. If I truly felt that you needed to move your post to the transitioning section, I would have saved my answers for your question to pop up in that thread. I'm really sorry if that's how it came off.
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 21, 2013, 07:24:09 PM
Check out the "Transitioning" section on here. Lots of good information. Also could be a good place to ask specific questions about it. To somewhat answer your question, it really depends on what "becoming female" means to you personally. To some, they are already female and don't need procedures or hormones to do that. Others feel the need for just hormones alone. Some may just be satisfied with facial feminization surgery. As for what hormones to ask for, I don't think you will have to, they will prescribe what is right for you. You could certainly make suggestions if you wanted but the doctor should be able to prescribe on their own without your input.
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 22, 2013, 12:03:02 AM
I'd like to make it extra clear that I wasn't saying that you made this post in the wrong thread. I was only trying to let you know that the transitioning section is there if you had more questions about it specifically. It truly wasn't my intention at all, as you can see I also did answer your question. If I truly felt that you needed to move your post to the transitioning section, I would have saved my answers for your question to pop up in that thread. I'm really sorry if that's how it came off.
Before i know what all i want done i first need to know what can be done.
You came off fine, I'm sorry if i made you feel bad about yourself.
What can be done, there's a lot so try not to be overwhelmed, as I said some people choose none, some people choose one or 2 and others choose all:
-Hormones (Can make you grow breasts, soften the skin, soften and lighten and reduce body hair, change fat distribution in your face and to your thighs and butt and breasts, among other things, of course some people experience none of this or only a few things from this list. it really depends on the person and their genes)
-Facial Feminization Surgery (To reduce brow protrusion, make your nose more feminine, chin augmentation, eyelid lifts, among others)
-Tracheal Shave (To reduce the appearance of the adam's apple)
-Breast Augmentation (If hormones don't do enough for your liking, you can make them bigger)
-SRS (Turns your penis into a vagina)
-Orchiectomy (removal of testicles, reduces testosterone production as well as the obvious aesthetic change)
-Hip/Butt Implants (to increase the size of your butt/hips)
-Electrolysis/Laser Hair Removal (to remove hair, mostly permanent after a number of sessions)
The prices all depend on where you live but most can run into the tens of thousands (besides hormones which is an ongoing cost)
Quote from: Xhianil on September 22, 2013, 12:05:55 AM
Before i know what all i want done i first need to know what can be done.
You came off fine, I'm sorry if i made you feel bad about yourself.
The Male-to-Female (MtF, M2F) transition process can include physical, psychological, physiological, and emotional changes.
The root cause, in most cases, for the desire to transition is the "disconnect" between one's physical body and one's gender identity, often referred to as "gender dysphoria." Depending on the degree of dysphoria, and the ability to make changes, the transition may take a number of different paths.
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 22, 2013, 12:18:15 AM
What can be done, there's a lot so try not to be overwhelmed, as I said some people choose none, some people choose one or 2 and others choose all:
-Hormones (Can make you grow breasts, soften the skin, soften and lighten and reduce body hair, change fat distribution in your face and to your thighs and butt and breasts, among other things, of course some people experience none of this or only a few things from this list. it really depends on the person and their genes)
-Facial Feminization Surgery (To reduce brow protrusion, make your nose more feminine, chin augmentation, eyelid lifts, among others)
-Tracheal Shave (To reduce the appearance of the adam's apple)
-Breast Augmentation (If hormones don't do enough for your liking, you can make them bigger)
-SRS (Turns your penis into a vagina)
-Orchiectomy (removal of testicles, reduces testosterone production as well as the obvious aesthetic change)
-Hip/Butt Implants (to increase the size of your butt/hips)
-Electrolysis/Laser Hair Removal (to remove hair, mostly permanent after a number of sessions)
The prices all depend on where you live but most can run into the tens of thousands (besides hormones which is an ongoing cost)
Thank you for answering 2, 3, and 4 for me, honestly i want all (except the hip implants and breast augmentation) of that, any help figuring out how to get there helps a lot.
Quote from: Xhianil on September 22, 2013, 12:43:58 AM
Thank you for answering 2, 3, and 4 for me, honestly i want all (except the hip implants and breast augmentation) of that, any help figuring out how to get there helps a lot.
1,6,7, and 8 will be answered with a good gender therapist for the most part.
5. The list could go on forever. Will they all be concerns that affect you? Probably not.
9. Try to stay positive!
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 22, 2013, 12:47:48 AM
1,6,7, and 8 will be answered with a good gender therapist for the most part.
5. The list could go on forever. Will they all be concerns that affect you? Probably not.
9. Try to stay positive!
I mean
first steps, pre therapist even.
Quote from: Xhianil on September 22, 2013, 12:50:56 AM
I mean first steps, pre therapist even.
For me, it was self-acceptance and education of ->-bleeped-<-.
Quote from: Xhianil on September 22, 2013, 12:50:56 AM
I mean first steps, pre therapist even.
You already made the first step. Coming here to learn more. :D
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 22, 2013, 12:55:53 AM
You already made the first step. Coming here to learn more. :D
Only problem is here the info is a little buried under and hard to find.
Quote from: Xhianil on September 22, 2013, 12:58:41 AM
Only problem is here the info is a little buried under and hard to find.
Nobody should bother you about posting or asking about things that have already been answered. Feel free to ask anything. And if you are pointed towards a thread that was already made with your question, don't take it as the person saying you shouldn't have asked, they are probably just trying to help by pointing you towards a lot of information that you can't be expected to find on your own.
Quote from: Xhianil on September 21, 2013, 07:16:59 PM
Ok, I'm having trouble finding actual information on becoming female, so i have a few questions.
1) first steps, what should i do first?
2) what are the surgerys?
3) what do they do?
4) how much do they cost?
5) what concerns do i have?
6) what hormones should i ask about once i get someone to ask.
7) who should i ask?
8 ) how do i cope till i can come out?
9) any other tips or facts?
Ciao Xhianil,
I'll do my best to answer your question, but I'm a bit tired due to the time and my absorption of melatonin; therefore, forgive the incoherent nature of the post.
1) The best suggestion I have is to prepare yourself for the road ahead. Make sure that you are aware of what transitioning entails and consider the impact it could have on your life. There are potential pros and cons and it should be thought about deeply before making a conclusion. Once you have your answer, I suggest prepare yourself for transitioning. How will I come out? What are the consequences? How do I prepare for them? How will I deal with others? And consider the what ifs? What if I don't turn out the way I hope? What if I face rejection? Perhaps this is a hard way to look at things, but these are questions worth considering. To be honest, I've only pondered these questions and never created a full game plan. To some degree, I regret that. Yet, it's never fully possible to plan for something that isn't predictable.
2) Surgeries. Well, this depends. There are many optional surgeries involved, but none of them are required. SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) is probably the biggie. This is the surgery to change one's genitals. There is a lot more information on this in the post op section of the board. Then there is FFS (Facial Feminization
Surgery) This is the surgery to create more feminine facial features. This isn't always necessary, but it's a godsend for many. Then there is breast augmentation. Not always necessary because hormones will help with breasts, but again, it can be a godsend to some who don't develop the chest they are hoping for. There are other surgeries involved (which annoymous user included) but these seem to be the big 3 (well laser as well, but I don't see that as surgery).
3) I'm confused by what your asking? Surgery wise? It depends on the procedure. With Srs they take what you have and create a functional vagina. FFS, it depends on what you choose to get done. I'll leave this to others who are more experienced in the surgical aspects of transitioning.
4) It can be a lot. SRS is usually in the $20,000 and more range. Though it depends on a lot of factors. Does insurance cover it, where will the surgery be, who will do it,etc.
5) I can't answer that. Everyone has different concerns. I plan on only getting srs done and am concerned about the price and going under the knife in general.
6) Estrogen is the hormone that you want. Mtf transsexuals take estrogen to further feminize their bodies. This can be prescribed in pill form, injections, pellets, patches and gels. In addition to that, most mtfs use an anti-androgen to block testoterone production. While the testicles remain, you will continue to produce testosterone. Therefore, getting a blocker is important.
7) Most are prescribed hormones through an endocrinologist. Typically one sees a gender therapist (usually for at least 3 months but it varies) who then writes a letter recommending you to start hormones therapy. Once you have the letter, you can take it to a endocrinologist who will prescribe the hormones for you. Some have a general practitioner prescribe them, but this appears to be rare in my experience. There are also informed consent clinics in some big cities, but the first method is the most common way of getting hormones.
8) Coping comes in many forms. My methods of coping were diverse some good and others problematic. The good was I focused heavily on my school work and got involved in many activities. I was an overachiever in a major way and that opened some great doors for me (at least at the time). To be honest, I really have no good coping skills besides taking the focus off of myself and finding alternative ways to be productive and happy. But I'm doing this at 24 so obviously I was never great at coping with this,lol. Others may help you better as I'm not great at this. One thing that helps me cope mid transition is to accept myself and embrace my trans identity. I can't say I have fully done it as I'm not close to being full time, but interacting with other trans people and making the small steps to become the real me has been incredibly therapeutic.
9) Be true to yourself and do what's best for you. There are so many possible paths in life. Choose the one that you want and work hard to make it successful. Secondly, realize this is a challenge. However, on the other hand, realize that many things that seem impossible can be overcome. I'm early in my transition and I've been amazed at how hard it can be. Yet, I've also been amazed by how things can improve when I didn't see happening. Lifes a bit of a roller coaster and transitioning is no different.
Good luck with everything.
P.S. Told you it would be an incoherent rambling mess,lol.
Apparently my 8) became a sunglasses emoticon,lol. Can you tell I am tired?
Edit- Okay, I'm confused by my inability to write the number eight. I'm going to bed now.
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 22, 2013, 01:05:46 AM
Nobody should bother you about posting or asking about things that have already been answered. Feel free to ask anything. And if you are pointed towards a thread that was already made with your question, don't take it as the person saying you shouldn't have asked, they are probably just trying to help by pointing you towards a lot of information that you can't be expected to find on your own.
Thank you for your help, I'm just scared being around all these lovely ladies, magnificent men, and awesome androgynes.
Hi Xhianil,
I'm Maddie. I've been happily and successfully living as a woman in every way for about two years (though I didn't come out to everyone I worked with and change my name there until a year and a half ago).
What I have learned from my own experience, and from my many friends who each has a different path that is right for them, is that there is not one transition from male to female, but many kinds of transition, and which one(s) are right for you will depend on what you feel and find out along the way.
The first and most important transition for most people, is the transition that happens in the way we see and regard ourselves. For some people, coming to realize their true gender identity, and embracing that as a good thing to be, not a defect or a mistake, is the most important piece of the puzzle. I realized that I wasn't a freak, or messed up, I was just a person, a person who feels female when she most feels like herself. And I realized that if I really wanted to, and needed to, that nothing could stop me from expressing myself and being who I really am, first to myself, and then to the world.
This leads to a second transition for me, and for many trans women. I had to go from being a woman who mistreated and neglected herself and sometimes wanted to hurt herself, to being a healthy and whole woman inside. Before I tackled outside kinds of transitions, I needed to work hard with a therapist and in journal work and in life practice. I had to learn to love myself, as the special woman I am. Many girls who skip that step have a very hard time, because even if you magically achieve the perfect body, and magically no one knows that you were ever born any other way, if you have learned to hate or belittle or despise or neglect yourself, even with a perfect body you would still have those habits to make you miserable. So you have to start healing (if you are like me and didn't treat yourself with love and kindness) and keep working at it until your heart and head are healed and whole.
There is a third kind of transition, that many of us make. I did. It is coming out to the world as a woman, and starting to live with others as a woman like me would live. I don't have to be like any other woman in the world, I just have to be myself. It was scary to prepare for, but a wonderful relief when I could finally be myself in that way with everybody else and not just myself. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is, to me every day, to be treated by most everyone as the woman I am. It was something I craved, and that gives me a lot of satisfaction. I began that social transition with the people closest to me, before I made any outward changes, and then I started doing things like dressing androgynously full time, and as a woman part time; and started coming out to more people as I felt safe doing so. And making little changes that made me happy, like pierced ears, and growing my hair long, and finger nail polish, and part time makeup. Some people will be happy presenting as a woman part time only, and don't need to live as a woman all of the time or to everyone. I did, but people like me are not the majority.
There is a fourth kind of transition, that many of us make. I did. It is making modifications to our body's chemistry so that we feel more like ourselves, and so that our body will begin to gradually change to look more like we feel inside. That's hormonal transition, and involves, for MtF, blocking the androgens and replacing them with estrogen. Though for some younger folks, it just involves medicine to stop puberty so they have time to be sure if they want to transition their body chemistry or not. I loved the effects that MtF hormone therapy had on me, but like my gender therapist said about both social transition and chemical transition, "the proof is in the pudding". You can read a recipe all day long, but only by following it and tasting the result can you tell if it is going to be right for you. In my case, the hormone change made me feel calmer, happier, more comfortable in my skin. I also like who I see in the mirror every day, and am happy for the changes in my breasts, face, hips, and the subtle changes throughout my body. But I also know many girls who look beautiful on hormones but still hate their bodies and can't see or appreciate their new looks because they haven't healed inside (see transition #2).
There is a fifth kind of transition, that many of us make. I am in the process. It is in making permanent changes to our bodies so that they better fit the map we carry inside us, of who we are. In addition to the hormone changes, some of which could be temporary if stopped, and some of which can be permanent, I began to work with professionals to undergo other treatments that are permanent. I have had over 100,000 of my facial hairs permanently removed, as well as some in other places. I am saving money for, and improving my health and losing weight to prepare my body for, surgery that will change my genital region to match the way I feel they already are when I forget what is there. When I have it done, probably before next summer, it will be a happy addition to my already happy life as a woman. But it is quite possible to live happily as a woman who happens to have a penis. Many thousands of women do, as have I. It doesn't prevent anything important that you want to do, if you and your partners are willing to be flexible, though it does make some things more difficult or challenging to not be how you want to be down there. I have had very strong dysphoria about that area since I was young, so for me it is a necessity to be on the road to getting it done, but it is quite normal for girls to realize they don't need or want that once they experience happily looking like and living as a woman in the ways that matter to them.
There is a sixth kind of transition, that many of us make. It is from being less attractive (to ourselves or possibly to others) as a woman, to being more attractive (to ourselves or possibly to others) as a woman. It can be as simple as learning our own best ways of dressing and of carrying ourselves and of using makeup. It can involve learning to speak in a different manner so that our voice sounds more like the woman we hear in our heads when we picture ourselves. It can involve surgical interventions, some of them routine that many non-trans women who are unhappy about their looks also save up and do (like breast augmentation, nose jobs, and so on) and some of them major combination surgeries like facial feminization surgery, that might include significant changes to bones as well as soft tissues. I made this transition using voice practice, makeup, relearning how to dress, relearning how I walk and gesture and carry myself, and hormones and losing weight (only because I was obese). I was only aiming to get by and blend in, but somehow I ended up being beautiful. It actually happens to a lot of trans women, some of whom are the most beautiful women on earth, but you need to have a good mental balance to be able to believe and appreciate it.
If I had had a very masculine face and bone structure etc (I used to think I did, but for me, hormones and self-confidence worked wonders) I personally would have considered some kind of facial feminization surgery, because I really did want to be a pretty girl even though half the women in the world have "below average" looks, whatever that means, and millions of them are very happy anyways. Its also important to know that having a more masculine face can be very attractive on a woman; it is often only the trans woman herself, or other trans people, who see their features as faults. Our dysphoria can really cloud the way we see ourselves.
The best advice I read, in my opinion, was to wait at least two years and see what hormones etc do for you before deciding on breast augmentation or FFS. I am glad I waited, because for me my face and breasts are ok the way they have become. Of course, everyone's needs and path are different. Some women I know have waited until they are in their 40s or 50s or beyond before beginning transition, and live in places (and with careers) that make early FFS, before going "full time", a necessity for them in order to fit in and feel happy socially.
So it all depends. In general, the earlier you start, especially on HRT, the less likely you are to ever need the surgeries to feminize your appearance. The majority of people who transition chemically and socially in their 20s or early 30s do very well without any of those surgeries (as do many of us who are much older). There are many who will save up for SRS (also called GCS) and eventually get it done, or go to work for an employer or go to a university that covers the surgery.
This goes for any age too- any of the transitions in any combination can be right for a particular person, though if you ask me, only #1 and #2 are necessary for every trans or gender variant person.
Feeling good about yourself, and loving your life and the people around you... that to me is what life is all about. The rest is details.
Hope that helps.
-Maddie
That helps a lot, even if its a bit long.
Hi and welcome Hon!
No need to nervous or fearful of anyone here!
I'm Cindy - which is pretty obvious! I'm a woman that was born with wrong bits and now dealing with it. I live as me full time in every sense of the word. I have been hormonally reassigned, which means I have estrogen as my main sex hormone. I do not produce measurable levels of testosterone.
Because of that I am sterile as I cannot produce sperm, I can no longer obtain a penile erection.
I was known as a man before I transitioned and I have been totally accepted by my work colleagues and I have many friends. I'm heterosexual in that my sexual interests are with men.
How to start, as others said accepting your self and thinking through the consequences and how far you wish to go. For exmple do you want to be like me, a full time female and accepted as such in life, with all that it entails, or are you happy dressing in feminine clothing and not wishing to go further or anywhere between.
I started by getting laser to get rid of facial hair, at the same time I stared seeing a psychiatrist to help with my transition. That is compulsory in South Australia where I live.
He quickly supported my view that I was transgender and that I had no psychosis or mental issues that required treatment. I was recommended for hormonal reassignment and I have been. I have estrogen pellets put under my skin on my tummy every 6 months or so. I also tahe sprironolactone as an anti-androgen. In my case the major effect of this is to maintain a female hair growth pattern.
All of my legal documents are gender marked as female including my driving licence and passport.
I hope to go for SRS in the near future, I'm in the process of selecting a surgeon and working out the financial issues.
There is a heap of information in the Wiki section for transition topics that is a great resource to search through.
If there are specific questions ask away. Everyone starts somewhere!
Cindy
A good first step is accepting that you're transgender and you really feel the need to transition. When I first decided to face my dysphoria, it took me nearly a year to really accept it. Next I would suggest finding a gender therapist. Having an unbiased person to talk to can do wonders for you and really helps when you're going through tough times.
Another good first step is getting facial electrolysis. It can unfortunately be expensive and it usually takes years to get rid of all facial hair but is the only permanent hair removal. Other women go with laser instead or to initially clean their faces (and finish up with electrolysis) and dealing with future hair growth when it shows up again.
Getting back to the therapist, they can give you a letter to get on Hormone Replacement Therapy or HRT (hormones and T-blockers). You can take the letter and go to a doctor who is either a general practitioner or an endocrinologist and they can get you started and will monitor your hormone levels through blood tests, every so often, depending on the doctor. I get my lab work done every three months.
As for surgeries, there are many that may be needed depending on the person. Some women are perfectly happy without medically transitioning. For others, there is Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) which is used to make your face more feminine. Some women want a lot of work on their face and other only do one or two things. Personally, I don't feel the need for FFS so I don't know a lot on the subject so I can't really go into a lot detail. It's recommended that if you get FFS that you wait, I think it's two years, after starting HRT since HRT will do some feminizing on it's own and after two years you should have a good idea if you think you'll really need it. The prices vary depending on what you want done and who you go too.
Other surgeries are tracheal shave (where they shave down your Adam's Apple), breast augmentation (it's also recommended to wait at least two years on HRT to see what the hormones accomplish), voice feminization surgery and that's all I can think of offhand other than SRS. I don't have a lot of information on these either as I don't feel I need them.
Last is Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) which is where they remove your testicles and use what's left of your genitals to fashion a vagina. The prices for this vary but if you have it done in the U.S./Canada, it's generally around $20k. If you have SRS somewhere else like Thailand, then it is much cheaper but their techniques are different than the North American doctors which isn't necessarily good or bad. With the technique, you'll have to look into what you want done. It's good to research surgeons as well, there are many fine surgeons around the globe. However, there are always risks with any surgery and even the best surgeons don't always have perfect results.
As for coping, I can't really help you there. It varies from person to person. I can tell you that starting HRT helped calm me down about my transition and it stopped feeling like I was fighting time and had to do everything NOW! Once I started full time, it made me feel that life was worth living and calmed down my dysphoria but I would still like SRS ASAP. ;)
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm just a PM away. ;)
*HUGS*
Amy