Hi everyone,
I've recently realised I'm not a freak, fetishist or weirdo, and I don't have a mental disorder (at least I don't think so). I'm a lesbian with the misfortune to have the body of un homme.
I'm married and my wife doesn't know anything of this yet. I have no idea how she'll react, she loves me dearly and I her, but I'm scared she'll not be able to cope with her 'man' being girly, more girly than her in fact. I've decided the only way to proceed is v-e-r-y slowly, and only with her blessing, so it could be a long haul, especially since I've been putting off telling her for 2 months now.
Since making my mind up, I'm really excited and relieved, and then I have to rein myself in, remembering that we're not even 1% done yet.
I'm a Brit who was just about getting to grips with life in France when this whole new challenge arose — the tax forms and building permits were tricky enough. I've been reading the material available on the NHS pathway in the UK, but I've no idea if / what the equivalent here is. I really don't want to move back to the UK just to get treatment. In the French system it used to be the case that a marriage had to be annulled before any treatment could start, I'm hoping this is no longer the case since the introduction of same-sex marriages.
There I go, jumping the gun again ...
That's enough for now.
Sophie x
Bienvenue Sophie,
This is going to be the hardest thing you will do if you start to walk this path. It will put a huge strain on your relationship and could end. There are many exceptions to this and seem more and more have survived.
I wish you luck with everything. I tell everyone find yourself a good gender therapist. They are needed with so many aspects of having a good life moving forward.
Izzy
Hi Sophie et bienvenue à bord.
In France, you do have a similar setup to the NHS, maybe even slightly more human....For example, contrary to the NHS, they apparently allow HRT during RLE. You will find information at the following website : http://www.transsexualisme.info/v2/
Also, since the introduction of same sex marriage this year, being married should not be an issue.
I also live in France but have managed my transition completely outside of the official channels which is also an option. Depending on how good your French is, I can certainly direct you towards internet resources where you will find plenty of information.
Whereabouts are you based and how old are you?
Warm regards.
Donna
Thanks Izzy,
a gender therapist is my first hurdle, unless I can find an english-speaking one here, I'll have to see if it's possible to go private in London and for their diagnosis to be recognised here, I really don't want to screw things up because I've got language gender confusion!
Sophie.
Quote from: Donna E on September 25, 2013, 01:25:03 PM
Hi Sophie et bienvenue à bord.
In France, you do have a similar setup to the NHS, maybe even slightly more human....For example, contrary to the NHS, they apparently allow HRT during RLE. You will find information at the following website : http://www.transsexualisme.info/v2/
Also, since the introduction of same sex marriage this year, being married should not be an issue.
I also live in France but have managed my transition completely outside of the official channels which is also an option. Depending on how good your French is, I can certainly direct you towards internet resources where you will find plenty of information.
Whereabouts are you based and how old are you?
Warm regards.
Donna
Hi Donna, thanks for the welcome,
And the info, any further gratefully received, don't have too much trouble reading French, I can always take my time. Speaking on the phone is currently an issue. I've been using google.fr and searching (in French) but not really finding anything useful.
Could you elaborate more on the 'outside of official channels'?
I'm in my early forties and Poitou-Charente, you'll understand my vagueness.
Merci beaucoup,
Sophie
Hi Sophie, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 7700. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Janet )O(
Quote from: sophiesogood on September 25, 2013, 01:46:20 PM
Hi Donna, thanks for the welcome,
And the info, any further gratefully received, don't have too much trouble reading French, I can always take my time. Speaking on the phone is currently and issue, only to get worse when I need to sound feminine also! I've been using google.fr and searching (in French) but not really finding anything useful.
Could you elaborate more on the 'outside of official channels'?
I'm in my early forties and Poitou-Charente, you'll understand my vagueness.
Merci beaucoup,
Sophie
Hi again,
No problem with the vagueness. I did say "whereabouts" ;)
To answer your question, there are plenty of trans friendly professionals working outside of the official set-up. Quite a few are listed on this site:
http://bddtrans.theilax.com/viewinfo.php?p=3
You also have more or less active LGBT associations in many regions. Here are a few in the west of France:
http://www.txy.fr, Paris (75), Nantes (44), Bordeaux (33), communauté collaborative et participative auto-gérée
http://trans3.fr/, Bordeaux (33)
http://communevision.jimdo.com, Rennes (35)
http://www.cglbtrennes.org/, Rennes (35)
http://www.clgbt-nantes.fr, Nantes (44)
http://ett37.free.fr, Tours (37)
http://transidentite.fr
Not sure if you'll find many English speakers but, if you read French OK, you will find plenty of information.
This forum might also be of interest to you: http://transidentit.es/forum/
All of that should keep you busy for a while but if you have any specific questions, feel free to get back to me.
Bise et bon courage!
Donna
Donna,
It's gonna be a long night reading that lot, just on txy.fr — could take an age on its own.
I had a a read of the SoFECT charter that laid down a process overview. Where does an independent psych fit into that process? Get your diagnosis and then run to your GP for the scripts? And what, if anything, is covered by the social using this method?
So many questions ...
You've been a source of great help and hope.
Sophie.
Hi again Sophie (last one before bed!)
Apart from visits to doctors and lab tests, I have paid for everything myself, HRT, FFS, facial hair removal and no doubt GRS too. I could probably have had my HRT covered by social security but didn't want to do that as it would have required getting ALD (Affliction Longue Durée) status. GRS would also have been covered if I had used the official system but, out of ignorance initially and afterwards because of distance, I didn't do it.
Also, I have a strong independent streak and simply did not want to subject myself to the whims of the official gate-keepers. As I have a good job, I also just felt the risks outweighed the gains, in particular the way they have you do your RLE.
I have some reason to believe they have become less rigid since I started out on my journey and recently had a very pleasant echange on the phone with the surgeon who does GRS in Lyon, a doctor called Nicolas Morel Journel who appears far more enlightened than his predecessor and who also seems to be a very competent surgeon. However the waiting list is 18 months from the moment they give you the green light. For professional reasons, I need to be able to choose the date of my surgery to suit me, not the institution.
If you really want social security coverage, you should probably contact one of the official teams quite early. You may find out that you are quite OK with the way they work and if you are not, you can always go down the private route.
Wishing you all the best.
Donna
Donna,
Thanks once again, you're an inspiration.
I can't find any way of boosting your reputation, maybe it will magically appear after I've posted 15 times, I owe you one, big style.
Sophie.
[goes off to make large pot of coffee before spending the day sat in the soleil distilling info from all of the useful links ...
I wish! Actually goes off to mix concrete to re-build a barn. A woman's work is never done :)]
Greetings Sophie!
Sorry for the belated reception :(
I'm just catching yup on the welcomes. :angel:
Hi Sophie, welcome to Susan's Place! I live near Boston. Great advice you've received here so far, it's good to see our system of support working! Hugs, Devlyn