Hi. I have known a girl for almost 4 years, who I've become very close with in the past few months. She recently revealed to me that she's (pre-op) MtF, and I'm honestly surprised with myself that I don't have any huge problem with this. I love her regardless, and still find her very attractive.
I've always considered myself a straight male, I'm not attracted at all to other males (and still am not)... I've always seen her as a girl, and even after she told me, it really hasn't changed the way I see her.
It doesn't really matter in terms of how I feel (both about myself or about her), but I'm genuinely just curious what this makes me? Am I still a 'straight male'? Or is there another term for this that I might be described as?
Quote from: Heton on September 30, 2013, 07:39:01 AM
I've always seen her as a girl, even after she told me
As long as this applies, you're straight. Straight straight straight straight.
She was born as a woman but trapped in a male body. In my opion you are a straight guy who loves a woman.
Lara
Huh, makes sense. Thanks for the clarification! :)
It makes you a cool, open-minded and loving person. And also straight.
It makes you a great guy. I strait one too.
This makes you a very special person. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you in her life. Seeing how you view her as a girl, you need not question yourself as to your sexualality. I wish the two of you a very happy and long lasting relationship.
If you identity as straight and only have attraction to women, I think you already have the answer. ;)
P.S. Congrats on your relationship. It's nice to see that there are understanding guys out there!
You are an open-mind straight man, who can love someone for how they are not what they are.
She is very lucky to have you.
It makes you one in a million. Thanks for being awesome - from me and (I'm sure) every other woman on this site.
Straight. You're only attracted to women, she's a woman, simple as that. :)
Although in the end it's always up to you - my wife was bisexual when I was a man, and she's bisexual now that I'm a woman. The assumptions *other* people make have changed, but that doesn't change her orientation unless she chooses to let it.
(Granted, there are some men who are attracted to women and also to penises, but not to men; it doesn't sound like you're one of them, but even if you were, your orientation would ultimately be yours to decide.)
What a wonderful string. Hugs Shannon
Well, having had to come out as a "lesbian" prior to transition, I can tell you that being attracted to both cis women and trans women hasn't affected my perception of my sexual orientation at all. :) Much in the same way you've never been attracted to men, neither have I. I wouldn't worry about what it "makes" you, because you're just a guy that loves a girl. That means you're straight. I don't think anyone really spends time with a woman thinking "ooooh, dat pussy." Yeah, sometimes that's a part of it when things are sexual, but much of a relationship just goes so far beyond that, and much of what makes a woman attractive and endearing goes beyond that.
A gay man told me he was with a trans man and asked me what that made him. I said, "A lucky gay man".
A penis is a very small part of a body, and a body is a very small part of a person. So I don't see why that tiny part of her overall being has to negate the overall fact: she is a woman. And therefore you're straight.
Ahaha, thank you all for the kind words/wishes and answers. Honestly it feels a bit strange though, as it doesn't really feel like a 'huge thing' to me in that sense. I fell in love with a girl, she revealed to me that she wasn't born a girl, it doesn't really change the feelings I have and had prior for her. I guess I just come from a fairly liberal area, I'm not really afraid to tell my friends (but wont without her permission), as I know all my good friends would be happy for me and supportive.
Wish you all the best!
Quote from: Heton on September 30, 2013, 05:31:41 PM
Wish you all the best!
Thank you Heton. I just have to ask. Do you have a brother? ;D
I think it makes you lucky! :)
"Girlfriend is MtF, what does this make me?"
It makes you someone with a girlfriend! Congratulations!
Hugs, Devlyn
My boy freind is in the same boat. (I have a boy friend? Holy crap, I didn't mean to do that xD) I met him and he had a huge crush on me and well. I really don't even normaly like boys. but if your happy with the person your with? So anyways, I cam out and he basically said that he had no idea, but it didn't change me. :) then I told him how confused I! was. and he asked if I was happy. :) Mind you I'm a tramp, I'm still trying to meet other girls but hes says its ok. just not other guys :) Oh and that if I meet a girl and we all get along I have to share. It's a ->-bleeped-<-ed up sort of thing but everyones happy :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on September 30, 2013, 07:32:54 PM
I think it makes you lucky! :)
I agree entirely! :)
Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 30, 2013, 07:05:45 PM
Thank you Heton. I just have to ask. Do you have a brother? ;D
Ahah, sorry, I don't. :P
Quote from: Heton on September 30, 2013, 07:39:01 AM
but I'm genuinely just curious what this makes me? Am I still a 'straight male'? Or is there another term for this that I might be described as?
Why that would make you a Transexsexual... Nahh I'm kidding Your a Straight guy.
So if my GF is MtF and I'm a female, am I a lesbian then?
Shadowsilk : If you want to be/are willing to be. My wife is trans and I'm bisexual. :) But I also know several cis partners who still identify as either "straight" or "refuse to be labeled" despite being involved with someone who is now the same gender they are.
Incidentally, there is the obvious - *society* will probably see you as a lesbian, even if you don't feel that way. That can be tough to come to terms with.
You are a wonderful boyfriend who is very open-minded and caring.
She's very lucky to have found you.
Quote from: shadowsilk on October 08, 2013, 10:03:05 AM
So if my GF is MtF and I'm a female, am I a lesbian then?
Oh it's a bit more complicated than that. You would simply be in a lesbian relationship. To be a lesbian you have to be primarily sexually attracted to women, you appear to identify as pansexual. If a woman were to stand by her partner who was going through the process of transitioning, she wouldn't automatically become a lesbian, for example.
What a lovely thread, with lovely people...it makes me smile!!!
With a spouse that is contemplating transition, and I am completely attracted to them however, that question "what does that make me?" has bemused me. At some point the labels start to seem a bit ridiculous, and that revelation may just not be a bad thing. :D
I'm of the belief that it is time to stop distinguishing ourselves as heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The majority of males like you are attracted to femininity. While most feminine people are born as genetic females, this is not necessarily the case. If you are attracted to someone who is feminine, you're just a regular guy. You happen to have a very special girlfriend and I hope you both find a way to appreciate the specialness of such a relationship.
~ Lyric ~
Heton you've done well, kiss that girl for us and tell her that we all think she's one lucky chickster to have such a wonderful guy as you!
Gay, straight, whatever, these are just labels. Labels are so overrated. You are in love, simply that. In love with a beautiful person, who you can cherish :)
Quote from: Willow on October 14, 2013, 09:33:41 AM
Gay, straight, whatever, these are just labels. Labels are so overrated. You are in love, simply that. In love with a beautiful person, who you can cherish :)
First off I agree that labels are overrated. Now, since I'm the woman in this relationship and my boyfriend is the male I just feel that it's a pretty straight relationship. People can see it for whatever they want. But only we know in our hearts what is the truth.
Quote from: ginataylor on October 14, 2013, 05:28:35 PM First off I agree that labels are overrated. Now, since I'm the woman in this relationship and my boyfriend is the male I just feel that it's a pretty straight relationship. People can see it for whatever they want. But only we know in our hearts what is the truth.
And that's you opinion of it. No one else's matters.
Quote from: Willow on October 14, 2013, 05:37:47 PM
And that's you opinion of it. No one else's matters.
Well don't take it the wrong way. It's just that in my mind, I see us (me and my boyfriend) as a couple that is living together and if we decide to get married then we'll be married as such there wouldn't really be any need to label us as a 'gay' couple' because like I said I'm the woman of the relationship and he'd be the man.
Quote from: ginataylor on October 15, 2013, 09:41:34 AMWell don't take it the wrong way. It's just that in my mind, I see us (me and my boyfriend) as a couple that is living together and if we decide to get married then we'll be married as such there wouldn't really be any need to label us as a 'gay' couple' because like I said I'm the woman of the relationship and he'd be the man.
My point was no one needs to label you anything except cute. You'd be a cute couple :)
Quote from: Willow on October 15, 2013, 01:35:33 PM
My point was no one needs to label you anything except cute. You'd be a cute couple :)
Sorry Willow. Point misunderstood. But thank you for that nice compliment :)
Well I guess it all depends on whether you think you are still straight or not. But you certainly sound like a straight guy to me.
I am a cis female in a relationship with a wonderful woman (MTF) and I still identify as lesbian. Why wouldn't I?
My family still see me the same way, as do most of my friends.
Quote from: Xgrrl on October 16, 2013, 08:08:00 AM
Well I guess it all depends on whether you think you are still straight or not. But you certainly sound like a straight guy to me.
I am a cis female in a relationship with a wonderful woman (MTF) and I still identify as lesbian. Why wouldn't I?
My family still see me the same way, as do most of my friends.
Thanks Xgrrl. That's one thing I had discussed with my therapist. I think he found it a bit confusing at first, but when I'm Gina I'm a woman, so when I'm with my boyfriend he's the man, so naturally we'd be a straight couple. I'm a little bit different when I'm in my guy mode. It's kind of like Dr, Jeckle Mr. Hyde. But after I fully explained it to my therapist, he had a better idea of what I was talking about.