Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 03:31:59 AM

Title: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 03:31:59 AM
Hello to all the Transmen on here! Do you find Trans women attractive and would you ever date one? I'm not sure if this is the right place for this. I just had to ask! I am asking because i saw a few videos on youtube, transmen dating transwoman. I wanted to get the views of Transmen on this forum.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Taka on October 04, 2013, 06:39:55 AM
try these threads, they already contain some answers, as well as some examples of how easily a discussion about this can turn sour.
please try not to take any potentially offending views to heart:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86840.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86840.0.html)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,149175.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,149175.0.html)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,148836.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,148836.0.html)
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Keira J on October 04, 2013, 06:41:28 AM
I would. I'm a trans-girl but would actually be very happy with another trans :)
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 07:33:30 AM
Quote from: Taka on October 04, 2013, 06:39:55 AM
try these threads, they already contain some answers, as well as some examples of how easily a discussion about this can turn sour.
please try not to take any potentially offending views to heart:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86840.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86840.0.html)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,149175.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,149175.0.html)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,148836.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,148836.0.html)
Thanks! I take very little to heart. I know who I am, and where I am going. Nothing at this point in my life bothers me. I will read through them when i have time.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Nero on October 04, 2013, 09:42:40 AM
The trans population is like the cis population in this respect. There are trans people who date other transpeople and those who don't. Of those who don't, a few can be rude and transphobic about it while others aren't and just prefer to date cis people for various reasons. And there are those prefer dating trans over cis and even some who date other trans people exclusively. And others who don't have a real preference either way.

But there are many, many straight (mtf+ftm) and gay (mtf+mtf/ftm+ftm) trans couples.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 11:49:03 AM
Quote from: FA on October 04, 2013, 09:42:40 AM
The trans population is like the cis population in this respect. There are trans people who date other transpeople and those who don't. Of those who don't, a few can be rude and transphobic about it while others aren't and just prefer to date cis people for various reasons. And there are those prefer dating trans over cis and even some who date other trans people exclusively. And others who don't have a real preference either way.

But there are many, many straight (mtf+ftm) and gay (mtf+mtf/ftm+ftm) trans couples.
Interesting I never knew there were so many! I wanted to specifically know what the Trans men here thought. What were their takes on the situation. Me as a person who is going to become a trans woman(I do not consider myself a female), had a curiosity about it after seeing it online. It is not something I would be into though, for my own reasons.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: FTMDiaries on October 04, 2013, 01:06:15 PM
Well, no, I wouldn't date a transwoman... but that's only because I'm gay and have zero romantic interest in women. ;)

I'd be perfectly willing to date another transguy though... and if I were straight or bi I'd have no problem whatsoever with dating a transwoman.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Taka on October 04, 2013, 01:52:38 PM
i'd date a trans or cis person if i liked them enough, and they're ok with a person who can't really be only one gender exclusively.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: aleon515 on October 04, 2013, 04:51:02 PM
I date a trans woman. It's pretty casual, not serious sort of thing. I do like other gals that I am in support group with, but it's obviously an individual thing. I don't like her because she's trans, it's who she is as a person.


--Jay
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Lexi Belle on October 04, 2013, 04:55:44 PM
I think for the most part it all comes down to the person, I mean transmen are transmen, and they know how it is to want to fulfill their gender role, I don't see them making it exclusive from transwomen as all they are trying to do is be women, usually. 

I feel like this is an awkward question, simply because it kinda contradicts the sole goal most transsexuals have in common- fitting in with the "cis."  What should make us operate any differently?

Just my thoughts. ;P
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Ltl89 on October 04, 2013, 05:16:40 PM
Quote from: Nidalexi on October 04, 2013, 04:55:44 PM
I think for the most part it all comes down to the person, I mean transmen are transmen, and they know how it is to want to fulfill their gender role, I don't see them making it exclusive from transwomen as all they are trying to do is be women, usually. 

I feel like this is an awkward question, simply because it kinda contradicts the sole goal most transsexuals have in common- fitting in with the "cis."  What should make us operate any differently?

Just my thoughts. ;P

I understand what you mean, but I've seen some transmen worry about dating another person with gender dysphoria and some can't get past the pre-op issue.  At least, that's what I gather from what I've seen. 
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Lexi Belle on October 04, 2013, 05:21:13 PM
Quote from: learningtolive on October 04, 2013, 05:16:40 PM
I understand what you mean, but I've seen some transmen worry about dating another person with gender dysphoria and some can't get past the pre-op issue.  At least, that's what I gather from what I've seen.

Well sure, which is why I said for the most part.  I know there is the whole pre-op thing and then the whole dysphoria thing, having 2 negatives will make a pretty big negative.  But I think a fully transitioned MTF TS without the baggage would be just as easily swooped up if they've got the personality, but maybe I'm wrong. I can't speak for the transmen in the know. Only in the theory. :P
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 05:43:46 PM
Quote from: Nidalexi on October 04, 2013, 04:55:44 PM
I think for the most part it all comes down to the person, I mean transmen are transmen, and they know how it is to want to fulfill their gender role, I don't see them making it exclusive from transwomen as all they are trying to do is be women, usually. 

I feel like this is an awkward question, simply because it kinda contradicts the sole goal most transsexuals have in common- fitting in with the "cis."  What should make us operate any differently?

Just my thoughts. ;P
It doesn't contradict to me. If it were to contradict then we wouldn't have the term transsexual. We would just be men and women. Secondly this topic is about preference, the mtf community does not have a respected reputation and there are stereotypes generally involve and also the dangers that come with dating an mtf is a lot higher. It is a preference question, many people have them. I do not see myself dating a ftm simply because I like women.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Lexi Belle on October 04, 2013, 05:46:10 PM
Quote from: Amira on October 04, 2013, 05:43:46 PM
It doesn't contradict to me. If it were to contradict then we wouldn't have the term transsexual. We would just be men and women. Secondly this topic is about preference, the mtf community does not have a respected reputation and there are stereotypes generally involve and also the dangers that come with dating an mtf is a lot higher. It is a preference question, many people have them. I do not see myself dating a ftm simply because I like women.

I wish there was no transsexual label.  Like I've seen said before and what I'll say now, as I found that mildly offensive, is Transsexual is our condition, man or woman is our gender. I AM an MTF TS, is that my gender? No. It' the name of my "sickness" if you will.

I am not on this forum to take pride in being TS, I am here to help and receive help from other people in my situation, as we are a very belittled group of people, as you have stated.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 06:09:10 PM
Quote from: Nidalexi on October 04, 2013, 05:46:10 PM
I wish there was no transsexual label.  Like I've seen said before and what I'll say now, as I found that mildly offensive, is Transsexual is our condition, man or woman is our gender. I AM an MTF TS, is that my gender? No. It' the name of my "sickness" if you will.

I am not on this forum to take pride in being TS, I am here to help and receive help from other people in my situation, as we are a very belittled group of people, as you have stated.
Ok I understand that you have a problem with the term. I get you completely! I personally don't believe in gender labels but i use them to make sense to people when i speak! I like the feminine look and I have the personality to match, so doing this is to make me feel complete but not fit in as a woman. I chose the term queer for that reason. So we have two different takes on the situation.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Lexi Belle on October 04, 2013, 06:14:00 PM
Quote from: Amira on October 04, 2013, 06:09:10 PM
Ok I understand that you have a problem with the term. I get you completely! I personally don't believe in gender labels but i use them to make sense to people when i speak! I like the feminine look and I have the personality to match, so doing this is to make me feel complete but not fit in as a woman. I chose the term queer for that reason. So we have two different takes on the situation.

Happens. :P
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Joe. on October 04, 2013, 06:15:14 PM
I'd date a transwoman. As would I date a transman or cis man or woman. I don't feel like I have an orientation as such. I fall for people for just being people, gender doesn't seem to matter to me, nor does body parts. It's hard to explain, I just fall for whoever I fall for, if they happen to be man or woman, cis or trans, that's all secondary to me. I love them for them.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Amira on October 04, 2013, 06:23:36 PM
Quote from: Joey. on October 04, 2013, 06:15:14 PM
I'd date a transwoman. As would I date a transman or cis man or woman. I don't feel like I have an orientation as such. I fall for people for just being people, gender doesn't seem to matter to me, nor does body parts. It's hard to explain, I just fall for whoever I fall for, if they happen to be man or woman, cis or trans, that's all secondary to me. I love them for them.
Wow you are very open joey that is cool! I'm glad to see Transmen answering a question intended for them without creating drama.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: BeefxCake on October 05, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
I just like women, trans women or cis. right now i have feelings for a cis girl, she is by no means the media definition of beauty, but i don't know anyone more beautiful. she's not skinny, her hair is cut short like a boy, she cracks gross jokes she burps she cracks puns obssessively, and sh'es a bout 5'5". but man that smile...

sorry that just turned into a rant about my love interest, but if i wasn't smitten with her, i think i would be open to anyone that was also like that. trans or not.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Edge on October 05, 2013, 10:46:44 PM
Quote from: Joey. on October 04, 2013, 06:15:14 PM
I'd date a transwoman. As would I date a transman or cis man or woman. I don't feel like I have an orientation as such. I fall for people for just being people, gender doesn't seem to matter to me, nor does body parts. It's hard to explain, I just fall for whoever I fall for, if they happen to be man or woman, cis or trans, that's all secondary to me. I love them for them.
Same with me mostly. I'd date anyone assuming I would want to date them (although that's unlikely), they would want to date me (even more unlikely), and there was mutual respect.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: King Malachite on October 05, 2013, 11:10:42 PM
For me, it depends.  If she's non-op or doesn't intend on getting SRS, then I would not be interested.  I don't think a non-op transwoman is any less of a woman than a post-op transwoman or ciswoman, but I just couldn't date her, or a cisman for that matter because I could constantly be jealous over the parts they have that I should have been born with.  They could be the best person in the world and a perfect match for me, but my jealousy would ruin the relationship.  If she's post-op, or intents in getting SRS then I would be interested.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Taka on October 06, 2013, 10:34:24 AM
i'd like to date a catty woman. or a cat girl of those exist.
i think i prefer felines, regardless of their gender or body parts. but tigers are a bad mismatch, so i've learned to stay away from them.
mostly talking about personality types. anyone who reminds me of my cat would be interesting.
could also settle for a good teddy bear if cuddly enough. less physical attraction maybe, but personality can be more than enough to make up for it.
Title: Re: Question to Transmen!
Post by: Nero on October 06, 2013, 10:43:12 AM
Quote from: Taka on October 06, 2013, 10:34:24 AM
i'd like to date a catty woman. or a cat girl of those exist.
i think i prefer felines, regardless of their gender or body parts. but tigers are a bad mismatch, so i've learned to stay away from them.
mostly talking about personality types. anyone who reminds me of my cat would be interesting.
could also settle for a good teddy bear if cuddly enough. less physical attraction maybe, but personality can be more than enough to make up for it.

Catty women are the shiz! I like a little attitude.  :laugh: