Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: WolfSpirit on October 04, 2013, 12:08:25 PM

Title: Transition?
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 04, 2013, 12:08:25 PM
As a single parent the thought of transitioning sounds iffy to me, because I don't know how my wee one would handle it. That's the main thing the second is how my family would react.
I would love to start transitioning it's just all these factors that I am worried about. Unless I just stick with binders, ect? No surgery or hrt. I don't know.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: cdjeannie on October 04, 2013, 12:22:08 PM
How old is the wee one?

Youngsters typically deal with things much easier than when they get older. I hid it myself for way to long. I regret I didn't do it sooner and can't wait to start HRT. It's who I really am and covering it up for so long caused undo internal stress.

Good luck on your journey.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: Robin Mack on October 04, 2013, 12:25:50 PM
I agree... below a certain age, there isn't even a worry about their peers' reaction.  For example, if the wee one is four, peers won't even understand it's a big deal unless somehow their parents get involved.  And FTM transition is so complete and, frankly, awesome (in my opinion, at least compared to MTF) that in a year or two no one will suspect a thing, ever (assuming FTM is the direction you are going; editing my post because I realized I based that assumption totally on your mention of the use of binders... please accept my apologies if that is not the case).

If they're older, more care should be taken... it's easy to get ostracized at school, etc.  I'm going through this right now with my 11-year-old (separate thread).

*hug*
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: Taka on October 04, 2013, 12:35:48 PM
kids care more about coolness or how pretty you can be. i think they can accept a lot so long as you don't suddenly stop being mother/father. there are quite a few ftm's here who are single parents. i am one too, and don't plan to let that stop me from trying to become myself. my daughter has known for four years already that i'm not completely "normal", and seems to be accepting it more as time goes on. she'll think it's weird if i go on hrt, but i believe we can work it out anyway. good thing about being non-binary is that one doesn't always have to go all the way, or one can take things slower. some don't even transition at all.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 04, 2013, 12:42:16 PM
My daughter is five, yes robinmack it is more or less.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: Natkat on October 04, 2013, 01:21:05 PM
To me kids seams alot more accepting than adults specially when there as young as 5. adults on the other hand can be kinda difficult somethimes.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: Adam (birkin) on October 04, 2013, 01:46:28 PM
One of the things I've noticed with kids is that they really just need to know that while your body is changing, nothing else is changing. Because they are taught from such a young age that gender is paramount to who someone is - so it seems a lot tend to think "well if mommy is changing her body to be like a man, will she still kiss my owwies? Will she still play the same games with me?" So on and so forth. I would try to make sure that your little one knows that your routines with her are still going to be exactly the same. The unknown is scary for all of us, but especially for kids, because they haven't seen enough to even remotely predict the future like we can.

(btw, I say "mommy" and "man", but that isn't to ignore the fact that you're non-binary. I'm just using those terms because that may be how the child thinks of it, given that our society is still fairly rigidly gendered).
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: Taka on October 04, 2013, 01:54:57 PM
the fear of losing the only mommy they have is the worst part. if you do it slowly, they should be able to realize that mommy will always be there, just looking a little different than before.
Title: Re: Transition?
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 04, 2013, 10:10:04 PM
Thank you all for your response  :)  I have to agree. It actually made me stop and think that maybe in a very small way I am trying to transition? Because I just realized that every time I go for a hair cut I always end up going a bit shorter than before. Amongst other things I've come to notice. Subconscious maybe?