Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ok, I really need any of you to explain this to me, shich so far has been one of my deal breakers for the full time.


Today, 18:30. I need to do a quick trip to the candy shop (50 meters from home) to but some pop corn and drinks... In these moments I just picked the oldest dude clothes I could find and went as that.

But this week is different: I can't get to dude mode, and presenting female means for me a lot of make up. Seriously, I'm not showing my breasts with a face that looks like a male, or going in female clothing without that big point corrected.

So far, I've remained at home, and done all the possible trips while in female mode with the main errand of the day. So today to  go to buy pop corn I had to shave, ( i wanted to give the skin a break day), put basic make up (in the end the only thing I have missed is the foundation silicon base and the lower eyelid eyeliner). It is either that, or guy mode, which would break the full time.


So, how do you deal with these quick trips, such a fast grocery shopping? I know of someone that puts make up at the beggining of the day just to be ready, but... I know that cis women don't put make up every day, but for me it is a necessity if I want to be genderd correctly...

Sprout, this has been one of the toughest parts of my transition, believe it or not. It costs US$1.50 worth of makeup and ten or fifteen minutes to reapply and rewig if I want to go out.

Most of the time I do it. I just figure it's a kind of tax on whatever I'm going to buy. I posted a question about this a couple months ago (that unfortunately ended up locked) where most MtF transitioners said they would not go out with beard shadow.

However, I have gone for a morning walk (which I do most mornings) without makeup, if I'm not planning to go anywhere for the day. No one noticed, everyone gendered me correctly, so wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Can't give you a real good answer, except, yup, I've been there.

Hmm, that's tough. Not even just doing the basic makeup works?

Nope. In five months I have no major redefining facial changes and with tied hair I look even more manlier.

I think I was already wearing the basics of make up:

- eye concealer ( I look like a skull without it)
- Foundation
- beard cover for the moustache area
- Fast eyeliner (simple thin line)
- blush (this probably could have been skipped
- Mascara (It's one of those thing I never go out without, even to the gym.
- Tinted lip balm ( it was like 30 seconds, so...)
- fix powder

The only other things I skipped was white eye shadow, silicon base for the foundation, lower eyeliner, and overall spending more time on doing everything more carefully.




And well, I don't want to talk about the gym, the only point I'm overlooking. I only wear mascara and beard cover when I go there first time in the morning, but I still use the men's changing room since that's what I look like without make up, front extension and unable to tuck, with a mid length T-shirt to conceal the bulge. I've been thinking about wearing a women's stretch top and show the breasts, but that would also show the crotch bulge... I try to consider the beggining of the day AFTER the gym, and regard the morning exercise as a "guy" as a bad dream, despite being gendered as female in those conditions.
I'll have to talk about it with the shrinks next week...

You should really look into what gives you a natural no-makeup look. If I put just enough concealer on to cover my facial hair, I look like I'm wearing absolutely no makeup. There's no reason to put on a round of makeup to go to the gas station and buy a bag of chips or something. If you're wearing more than 3 items of makeup to do 15 minutes of errands, you're doing it wrong.

huh...I just kinda put my face on in the morning and don't take it off until I get ready for bed at night. Even if I don't plan on going anywhere, it makes me feel better to look "good".

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on October 13, 2013, 08:38:21 PM
You should really look into what gives you a natural no-makeup look. If I put just enough concealer on to cover my facial hair, I look like I'm wearing absolutely no makeup. There's no reason to put on a round of makeup to go to the gas station and buy a bag of chips or something. If you're wearing more than 3 items of makeup to do 15 minutes of errands, you're doing it wrong.

I guess that then I don't have a lot of confidence... I keep feeling that with no facial changes, fat fillinr or anything, make up it's a must, but... Oh well, today I will try to go out with just beard concealer and foundation. BTW, this is how I look with nothing on... No front hair extension, beard cover or anything, just shaved, out of the shower and with tied hair.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FLRYwVVG.jpg&hash=ea3653febadcb9db83b83c86e3524145500c5087)

Lack of confidence is nothing new to us.... but that's what is going to get us laughed at every single time.

You can get away with just concealer and eye liner btw. Any other makeup that is going to help you pass more is going to be excessive (highlighting, contouring, etc) for a supermarket run. You're young, and most young women don't overload their face with makeup.

That went worse than expected.

I reduced it to three items: beard concealer, foundation and eyeliner. I was going to leave the extension at home, but found that the old danger zone in the scalp's crown still has not recovered, which brought my confidence to zero... Now I understand why the hair stylist told me to pick two strands front the back of the extension and pull them back to the center.

Still, I had the usual issue with the cashier stopping at the credit cars name and asking my ID, so Maybe at least I was passing.

I still feel like having received a beating, and that was 30 minutes ago...


Edit: Took me long enough to notice what stressed me so much and makes me over rely on things such as clothing or makeup. The voice.

Depending.  Some days I just don't want to wear any makeup.  And I have no boy clothes, so I go as me.  I do shave, however.

Well, I think I've reached the Do not care point:


- Any movement within the city, working, whatever: Daily make-up

- Quick 15-30 minutes run for groceries, an ATM or whateve within the neighborhood: three make up items

And now:

- 1-2 minutes walk maximum for throwing the trash, buying takeaway food or candy? Not even care, just the beard concealer and depending on the mood, the hair extension or tied hair. It is so dark on the evenings now that with so little people in the streets that it is not worth even spending the time and money on makeup. In the end, RLT is a bit more than just makeup and clothes.

Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 15, 2013, 06:06:08 AM
I guess that then I don't have a lot of confidence... I keep feeling that with no facial changes, fat fillinr or anything, make up it's a must, but... Oh well, today I will try to go out with just beard concealer and foundation. BTW, this is how I look with nothing on... No front hair extension, beard cover or anything, just shaved, out of the shower and with tied hair.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FLRYwVVG.jpg&hash=ea3653febadcb9db83b83c86e3524145500c5087)

Apple Sprout, I've been there, feeling how you felt. And some of us really do need significant contouring makeup especially early in transition, if we are trying to give our face a more typically female appearance.

The thing is, in your case, you are so used to years of seeing your own face that you cannot see how feminine and lovely it is. With your no-makeup just shaved face, you would not be read as anyone but a cisgendered woman. I actually had to read the caption to make sure this wasn't you with all of your makeup. When you are fully made up, you look like a model in a fashion magazine, but when you aren't made up at all, you look like a beautiful woman who isn't wearing any makeup.

Try it. Go out in safe places without any makeup (except beard cover if you can't shave). I think you will be pleasantly surprised, and gain some confidence. And look at real live women (not just the 1% most beautiful that dominate media) and you will find that women's faces come in all shapes and all degrees of femininity and masculinity, and they are all women, and when they are confident, they are beautiful.

And yes, all women look more masculine when they tie their hair back away from their face; more so if they naturally have widow's peaks. If you don't like how your hair looks tied back, but you need to restrain it, then use a different method.

Nothing wrong with a little make up if it boosts your confidence.

Happy birthday dear applesprout.

Thanks. Well, I got an answer back from my parents. They are away nursing the maternal grandmother, and when they are there they can forget about everything. A Feliz cumpleaños and explaining the situation. I'd rather do all of my comunications by text, that saves me from having to hear my male name one and another time.


Madeline, everything depends on the perspective and taking one thousand photos...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fx7hcJ0J.jpg&hash=1be331826b7b8013b176db0bc218e82073a4e8e5)


PS: I swear the vaccum cleaner is not there anymore, I finished with it this morning!

PS2: I'm getting a lighter shade of make up asap.

Apple, you have great eyes and really nice lips. The smile brings out those lovely cheeks. The lens always seems to like exaggerating the difference between skin shades. It's not bad though.

Thanks.

Well, today I sad "I'm not putting make up", too. Just a quick thin foundation and the beard concealer. Not even the clip-on hair.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FQBjvKau.jpg&hash=04894fa80c221512a87467470a89bc915af5d23a)

Looking great without makeup. I've done the same thing with the too dark shade - especially happens after the summer when my tan starts to fade but my makeup does not.

Quote from: Apple Sprout on November 10, 2013, 04:32:54 PM
Thanks.

Well, today I sad "I'm not putting make up", too. Just a quick thin foundation and the beard concealer. Not even the clip-on hair.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FQBjvKau.jpg&hash=04894fa80c221512a87467470a89bc915af5d23a)

Your abs are to die for... :P

Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 11, 2013, 01:05:58 AM
Your abs are to die for... :P

Nope, just my ability to pull gut. It's fun how I nearly killed most of my abdominal fat and if I just put more effort I could develop a six-pack... I'm considering doing before HRT does me even more effect.

Quote from: MadelineB on November 10, 2013, 01:42:05 PM
The thing is, in your case, you are so used to years of seeing your own face that you cannot see how feminine and lovely it is.

Quote from: MadelineB on November 10, 2013, 01:42:05 PM
The thing is, in your case, you are so used to years of seeing your own face that you cannot see how feminine and lovely it is.

Same from me.  I think if I ran into you I would just think "girl".  Looking closer I might think "perhaps a bit boyish".  If you are OK with that you are OK.

The smile is lovely too, and if you can practice keeping a very slight smile on your lips all the time your face will be naturally more feminine.

In my case the voice was the biggest problem.  I've done a lot of work on it and by now I'm usually heard as female.  It's hard work but it's worth it.

As for the makeup - the original topic - I usually don't use any, or just a little eye shadow.  Advice I've read several times is that enough beard concealer to really conceal beard shadow will make you look like a circus clown.  I use Eflora cream (aka Vaniqa) and that's much more effective (after a few months).

Most people will notice your clothes first, then your mannerisms, then your voice.  If you are still passing at that point you should usually be safe.