From the poll in https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,14002.0
QuoteIntimate Relationship: you do or wish to be involved in a romantic relationship in a non polar way or manner. 10 (~50% voted yes)
Just looking for past experiences, future comments, or comments if you voted no, why.
I wish to be in a fluid polar relationship, with me hanging around the fem end and her hangining around the masculine, but lots of moving around for sure.
I have wrote about my relationship several times. She knows I am androgyne identified. According to what she first thought, she thought i was a serial killer or something like that when I first told her I was transgender. She has sees me write on the message boards almost daily. Sometimes I read some posts and she says responses, good or bad.
My current relationship with her. Live in partner, almost roomates at time;
She cooks
I take out garbage
I get the mail
we do our own laundry
pay half of bills with our own money
wash own dishes
she doesnt see us as a lesbian relationship or anything like that.
we are a mature relationship
we are political and religious rivals sometimes
My masculinity and femininity changes at times. So does hers, though she does not identify as transgender, nor is it as much as mine.
Even before I found out about the definition of androgyne or started to consider myself as such, the relationship between myself and my male partner has always been the same.
We don't live together yet, though sometimes I stay with him from 1-3 weeks at a time. However, if we did live together, we would share most all the "domestic" tasks. We both love to cook, however sometimes when one of us does'nt feel like it, the other will happily take up the task. As far as cleaning, neither of us like it, so we usually share the tasks to make it go faster.
We would both have jobs and probably share most of the money we make. Keeping money seperate hasn't really been discussed yet as there has been no need.
I absolutely hate the idea of marriage and everything traditional that goes with it and I completely reject the idea of ever getting married in any traditional sense and so does he. I loathe the idea of having to give up my name to merge with his. I don't care if it's easier down the road to "just do it". To me, if I give in to one thing females are "supposed" to do, like be the house-wife, take her husband's name, let him pay the bills, etc; to me that is giving in to everything I am not and never want to be, so all of those are out of the question.
Partnerships are supposed to be people working together, and that's what me and my partner do. We spend a great deal of time together and we share so many of the same interests that our own seperate interests are very few. Even so, we have our own free time, and if not, we ask for it when we need so as not to "smother" one another.
To put it to the point, I don't want my physical sex and it's predetermined roles to govern what I do with MY relationship; and it doesn't.
I have what may be one of the most unique relationships on this site, though there may be others more unique, I do not claim to know.
I am a servant/slave submissive in service to Error, an ftm. I am happily owned and try to remember to always defer decisions to him whenever possible and practical. Submission is a choice for me. I chose for him to own me and frankly, I do not see that as a polarised choice due to the fact that 24/7 slaves can be of any gender identity. I see it as a choice based on love and the best way I know of for ME to show love. Yes, I have a rebellious streak and yes I'll mouth off or protest, but in the end, all aspects of my life are his to control. I do hope that that will remain true for all of our lives.
One of the things I feel most fortunate that he allows (and I don't know if I could belong to him if he didn't) is my relationship with my fiancée, Sophie, an mtf. They actually were together before I met either of them, if we're all remembering timelines correctly. We're hoping to build a life together, the three of us.
Cooking will be largely my responsibility, due to the fact that I know how to cook more than ramen and toast. Cleaning will probably be largely shared. Bills of all kinds are anticipated to be shared responsibility. These are the loves of my life. Whatever they need for me to do for them in the future I will do. I will protect them and love them and care for them until our lives end.
Hmm. This one made me think for a long time since I wasn't too sure how to answer it for two reasons that I will eleborate on.
First of all, my parents divorced when I was thirteen and ever since it has been my mother and I without ever a man entering our home. Therefore, the roles and rules are vague, and everything seems rather non-polar. We both work, and whoever has the day off does the cleaning, cooks, and sometimes we both cook. When we both have the day off my mother cooks because she's the better chef, and when something in the house breaks I'm the one who fixes it since I know how-to... Therefore tasks are divided according to capabilities, and I suppose that is how I would like it in a romantic relationship as well simply because that is what I am used to. Most likely, I wouldn't even know what to do if my partner took on a masculine or feminine role and simply go my own way.
However, (reason number two), I'm an aspiring writer, and I know that I won't be able to hold a steady job since I'm constantly moving. Evidentially my partner would have to support me which is a thought I dread while at the same time I know I'm not in the position to support anyone either. Therefore I choose not to be involved in any long-term relationship: I have lovers, but I don't have partners, and the only rule I have is that I must always be able to walk out at any given time.
Thus, tricky question that was, and I guess I'm not truly able to answer it ;)