Hey girls I'm in a bit of a mood right now and just felt the desire to write a quick post.
Here I was washing my hands and dad is tell mum in the other room "Oh do you wouldn't believe what he did, dropped his eyeliner pencil down the sink!" Now ordinarily I would feel annoyed at this but the sheer desperation to not say she even when referring to an eye liner pencil just made me laugh. I mean seriously are you even trying to accept me like you said you would?
Sorry I know it's a pointless post but I just had to say it. I don't know I guess I'm just feeling bitter atm.
It takes time hon. Just be yourself. Being yourself is the best remedy. You can't even begin to imagine the impact on others when you do that.
You need to think about what I am suggesting very carefully. I just had ankle surgery and I may be a little weird. The idea is to shock them. To me, you could do this.....however, it might backfire somehow.
How do you look in a bathing suit? There are some really nice one piece suits out there that are on sale. Some of them help you tuck in here, push out there and make Bs look like Ds. If you go in early, you may be able to get help purchasing one. (I have a local Macy's that will let me try one on and they are 70% off.) Put it on one day at home, tuck real tight, walk out with your best face on and ask "How do I look?"
As hard as it is for us to understand, habits are hard to break. You may have seen yourself as a female your entire life, but your dad is clearly still adjusting to having a daughter instead of a son. Now, if he's not even trying to accept you despite him saying that he would, then you have every right to be upset and you should bring it up with him in a tactful manner.
Quote from: JLT1 on October 22, 2013, 12:00:08 AM
You need to think about what I am suggesting very carefully. I just had ankle surgery and I may be a little weird. The idea is to shock them. To me, you could do this.....however, it might backfire somehow.
How do you look in a bathing suit? There are some really nice one piece suits out there that are on sale. Some of them help you tuck in here, push out there and make Bs look like Ds. If you go in early, you may be able to get help purchasing one. (I have a local Macy's that will let me try one on and they are 70% off.) Put it on one day at home, tuck real tight, walk out with your best face on and ask "How do I look?"
Not to bad actually though I still need to lose around 15lbs. Even though I havn't gained much fat yet on he hips they do stick out a bit (For a male skeletal structure I actual have quite large hips which is awesome! My butt is very curvy too hehe. I will certainly try this approach though the chance of backfiring is quite great (Mum will start going off your fathers really stressed give him a break, sis will be like you look stupid etc).
I would not have suggested this to many members but you look like you could pull it off. You have a good shape. Seeing you as a woman should cause some response but it could be undesirable. Just don't rub it in.
The other option is to just be patient and keep reminding them. They use your old name, correct them, when they protest, state I am a woman, calling me by anything other than my real name hurts. Then, hug them; reassure that you love them and tell them that you know this is hard on them as well. Over and over and over again.
Wishing you well
Hugs and more Hugs,
Jen
Hi Paige,
I received a birthday card from my mother yesterday, addressed to "My darling daughter". She has been totally accepting from the beginning fortunately. But I think that when writing everything is just that bit more considered than when we speak. When we talk she still occasionally gets pronouns wrong, despite me coming out to her over two years ago. It used to get me angry at first because I thought she was either resisting or simply didn't care enough to get it right. But in reality it's just a very difficult habit to break.
I hope in time your parents come around but in the meantime it might actually make your life a little less stressful for you if you cut them a little slack. Over time you will probably find, as I did, that it is hardest for those that have known you the longest. Children and new friends and colleagues almost never get it wrong, in my experience. That doesn't mean they are trying harder, it just means they don't have much previous interaction to overcome.
Obviously I don't know the detail of your family life, and I am aware that I have been luckier than many other girls, so I apologise if I may seem to be trivialising your experience. That is not my intention. But my advice to you would be to try and stay calm, take comfort where you can from the small signs of support from those around you, and try not to take umbrage over some minor things that you may even find yourselves laughing about in years to come.
Best wishes to you. xxx