I was up late cleaning the house because my wife is coming in tomorrow night. And I was watching something on tv that peaked my interest. But if this post needs to be deleted by a moderator please do so. I have no objections to such an action.
I'm only posting this because marijuana has been legalized for medical use, and decriminalized for recreational use in some parts of the US. Let me be clear, I do not smoke anymore. And since I got married there's been far more important things to worry about. But I'll admit I've lit up a few random joints over the years, and used some medical stock, but not much. However, now that I'm on HRT I wouldn't want to do anything to inhibit my transition.
So..... Someone offered to give me some smoke a couple days ago and I turned it down. But It was hard to do. 40 years ago I found that smoking an adequate amount of marijuana gave me an incredibly tactile sense of my femininity. All I'd have to do is lightly rub my fingers over my skin and the woman inside would respond. It's wasn't just a sensation because it was totally consuming, and in those hours after smoking my senses were fully and completely those of a woman. I have absolutely no idea why this happens, or if it's a common occurrence with any other transgender women. I'm aware that THC acutely interferes with estrogen and testosterone receptors, and as a result it lowers the effectiveness of HRT. So I had no problem pushing aside the free offer. I guess my transition to honest womanhood is worth more to me than one night of ... whatever.
I haven't smoked in a long time, so these might sound like ridiculous questions. But, am I the only one who has had this experience? And if it's common, has it ever been studied in the trans community? I'm curious because I just saw a video about marijuana and how it effects out thought processes. Plus I smoked almost every day 40 years ago in college, and it was generally for one reason, "to feel more like a woman" (even if it only lasted for a few hours). Kind'a sad isn't it. ???
Anyway, I'd like to know since there may be some other medical links between our thoughts and what we are able to physically feel. And yes, I know this is a little stupid, but I'm bored, it's late and I'm tired.
Good night. K
I know whenever I smoke, everything just feels more tactile in general. But I did notice what you're talking about a bit earlier in transition, it was like I was allowing myself to engulf in whatever sense of femininity I was feeling. Or to just fully swing in that direction (had been going back and forth, due to work). Now, it just feels nice, and couldn't put a gender-specific reaction to it if I tried. But I think I've just always categorized this effect as anxiety relief more than anything.
Huh. Didn't know the bit about the receptor interference...would never have assumed. At least in my experience, this seems to be negligible.
The thing about most psychotropic drugs is that they just facilitates what the body is capable of by making connections between various receptors, blah blah blah. And, for example, in my earlier years I found I was able to replicate a stoned frame of perception through certain meditation techniques. And wow that was some pretty weird sh*t without the need to smoke or injest anything. Haven't touched the stuff in over twenty years. So if any drug was able to bring you in touch with aspects of yourself, those aspects are already there, the trick is to access them naturally!
Quote from: Dee on October 24, 2013, 02:05:43 AM
Huh. Didn't know the bit about the receptor interference...would never have assumed. At least in my experience, this seems to be negligible.
It was some medical study that was published a couple years ago. I think the thing about receptors is wrong though, because the study said it basically it increases estrogen levels in men (and that was great as far as I was concerned). But it said pot could also increase testosterone levels in women and that kind of made the study sound a little off base. And since it highlighted the dangers of Pot, I orriginally classed it as propoganda and lumped it in with the old movie Refer Madness. But I kept hearing about it and even my old doctor mentioned her warning about it, so I just haven't touched the stuff since then. And the vagueness of all this is kind of why I think a truely blind study could be useful.
Quote from: Grace_C on October 24, 2013, 02:50:29 AM
...So if any drug was able to bring you in touch with aspects of yourself, those aspects are already there, the trick is to access them naturally!
I have done meditation in the past, and still do some when I get mad at a person or situation. But I never tried to duplicate the effect of smoking. Right now I'm so incredibly preoccupied with my home repair and transition that any other meditation can wait. Yet it will be tried at some point.
My doctor doesn't think it will have any more negative effect than plain old smoking. Which other than the negative health effects from the smoke will have no more affect than any other drug will have on the uptake on any drugs when you have a busy liver.
As for the smoking, I don't know. Sure calms me down though, got me through a lot of stuff. Easy to forget about your problems when you forget about them. Though it stopped me facing them and so subsequently dealing with them too.
:police: Just a brief note. :police:
Marijuana is legal in some states, however it is still illegal by federal law. Posting the use of marijuana is still not allowed, but I will let this ride for now.
DO NOT ADVOCATE THE USE OF THE DRUG.
I completely agree with the OP. I feel way more feminine. More in touch with my feelings and all senses become more sensitive. The negatives... well I can't focus as well, makes me more lazy and has the potential for abuse instead of tackling ones problems head on. Abuse will most likely interfere with HRT. I also use music to enter these similar states of mind, but it's still not the same as burning for me.
OP, what was the name of the show?
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 24, 2013, 12:37:17 PM
:police: Just a brief note. :police:
Marijuana is legal in some states, however it is still illegal by federal law. Posting the use of marijuana is still not allowed, but I will let this ride for now.
DO NOT ADVOCATE THE USE OF THE DRUG.
Just a question as I don't think it is specified in the TOS, is US law what dictates what we can and cannot talk about?
Quote from: <3 on October 24, 2013, 02:37:58 PM
Just a question as I don't think it is specified in the TOS, is US law what dictates what we can and cannot talk about?
While technically no it is not against the TOS, but it is still illegal. As long as we do not promote the use of a drug that is illegal, we can discuss it all we want.
I've had two related experiences. This is bound to be a long post, so I can't fault anyone for skipping.
The first:
I landed myself in a situation in which I decided to meet up with a stranger after communicating with him for a while. He got me high. When I was high, he began to come onto me despite me making it clear I was not interested. I began to freak out and felt helpless and terrified (I'm not relating helplessness and terror to womanhood, for the record). His speech was very manipulative and seemed to try and take advantage of my mental state. When I fell quiet and withdrawn, he became verbally abusive.
This triggered a PTSD episode for me (which, ironically, I had only learned I suffered from two weeks prior with my therapist). I felt so trapped and terrified that I collapsed into the arms of my captor (who did later molest me) in tears and excessive shaking. A lot of the physical, sexual and mental abuse from my childhood flooded my mind -- but so did something else, which I find difficult to describe; it was sort of an inner sense of self, like an aura. I could only read it as two things: female and blue. Strangely, I don't care for blue. However, in the echoes of my memories, that was my self-interpretation. It was pure feeling, not imagery. My only existing sense of self at that time was a helpless little girl.
The second:
This was very recent. Several of my friends took me to a getaway seaside home for a belated birthday celebration. They locked me outside of the house after getting me high and wouldn't let me in. I was too far gone to really understand what was going on, but eventually they told me to go inside and surprised me with a birthday cake perfectly tailored to my tastes. They sang me happy birthday and kept calling me the birthday girl. I felt so incredibly loved that I burst into tears and had to run into another room in complete embarrassment.
While I was in the other room, the inner aura came back, except this time it was a blend of purple and green. Purple is my favorite color. I'm okay with green, but it isn't a stellar color for me. My thoughts were overwhelmed with a mixture of the love I felt from everyone and how deeply hideous I felt. I felt hideous because all of my loved ones perceive me as female, but at the same time I'm overweight and unpassable. I make no particular effort with clothing except to avoid anything starkly masculine. I speak to them in a completely female voice and have very effeminate mannerisms, very long hair, and have been pretty feminized from years of hormones. I felt like a mutant of some kind, and certainly like the person they all loved is still invisible to them -- but they still see her, anyway.
I was quiet for the rest of the night. My friends still made sure to pay a lot of attention to me but also let me have my own space. One, who I've been in love with for a long time, kept making me laugh with subtle gestures and I ended up falling asleep to the sound of his voice by the end of the night. In all the silence, the embarrassment, the self-disgust, and the wake of what I can only equate to a profound schoolgirl crush, the aura persisted -- though my age this time was my own and not child-like.
Both examples really make me wonder just how stressed out I must be underneath my crust, but it's also nice to know that when my mind is all too completely incapable of controlling itself or choosing direction, my sense of female seems to persist as some kind of core.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 24, 2013, 04:00:10 PM
While technically no it is not against the TOS, but it is still illegal. As long as we do not promote the use of a drug that is illegal, we can discuss it all we want.
I think you missed the point of my question. I asked if it was not to be talked about because of US law. As in it's potentially not illegal for many members here. Is it because the server is in the US? I'm just wondering because a lot of things are promoted here that are illegal in countries other than the US but they seem to be okay.
No <3, it comes down to whether or not Susan will allow it. It is her website and she sets the rules.
And personally I am for the legalization of marijuana on the federal level. Think of the taxes it might generate.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 24, 2013, 05:04:35 PM
No <3, it comes down to whether or not Susan will allow it. It is her website and she sets the rules.
And personally I am for the legalization of marijuana on the federal level. Think of the taxes it might generate.
That's fine. But you said it wasn't in the TOS. I'm just confused is all. If Susan doesn't allow it, why not put it in there?
I smoke very often. whenever I can. I have smoked the majority of my life. I can relate to you saying that it heightens your feminine side because it does for me as well. It has done this for me pretty much my whole life. I also can get rather sexual alone when I smoke. Smoking weed threw out my transition has done wonders for me. When I first started my real life experience when I was part time I would get completely smoked out then go in public. It eased my mind and relaxed me rather then my anxiety going threw the roof because of peoples thoughts and stares.
I also believe that it not addictive. I quit smoking marijuana for two years in my old marriage. Cold turkey. I go months sometimes between smoke sessions. Sometimes six to 8 months. It is not something I NEED to survive like pawning all my jewelry at the pawn store to buy a 1/4 ounce of pot like meth or any other hard drug. Those that believe that it should be classified as a heavy narcotic are completely in left field and probably never smoked it in their life.
Unfortunately I am THC-intolerant. I'll never experience being "stoned"
Quote from: <3 on October 24, 2013, 05:06:04 PM
That's fine. But you said it wasn't in the TOS. I'm just confused is all. If Susan doesn't allow it, why not put it in there?
Maybe this might help.
Quote from: Rule 5The posting of messages on the chat or forums which are of a threatening tone; intended solely to communicate sarcasm, contempt, or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; to disgust the viewer; contain obscene or pornographic materials; which are intended to titillate; or which depicts illegal acts; will not be permitted.
And I repeat, illegal for the US? That has essentially been my whole question this whole time. I know you American's like to think you're the only ones who exist but you're not ;)
Yes. And the server is located in the US. Therefore it does fall under US laws. However, because we have members from many countries, it may not be illegal there.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 24, 2013, 05:20:32 PM
Yes. And the server is located in the US. Therefore it does fall under US laws. However, because we have members from many countries, it may not be illegal there.
That's all I was asking. Thanks.
Sorry sweety. I misunderstood the question.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbarfblog.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F06%2Fhomer-doh.jpg&hash=c30f71608f7b71457d8e349062982b6e7908d07b)
It is legal to talk about marijuana, but the morality is questionable when children are allowed to join this site.
I have a medical card. I do not smoke often because it is expensive and not covered by my insurance. The FDA moves slowly but there is now proof that marijuana has medical uses (severe epilepsy and pain to start). The FDA should eventually reschedule it. Currently it is schedule 1 (no medical use). That will change.
Then we will be able to discuss it here with fewer restrictions. As long as it is prescribed. Like we already can talk about prescription amphetamines, opiates, benzos, klonopins... rules can be weird. They are here for a reason though.
Since we can't advocate marijuana's use here, for now at least, I can't tell you about its feminizing effects on me. How it calms, makes the world seem more tactile, encourages empathy, reduces aggression... sound familiar? I can't discuss its minimal effects on the liver either, that may sound like advocacy.
Hopefully a day will come when we can openly discuss such things on this forum.
Quote from: Tori on October 24, 2013, 05:38:41 PM
It is legal to talk about marijuana, but the morality is questionable when children are allowed to join this site.
I have a medical card. I do not smoke often because it is expensive and not covered by my insurance. The FDA moves slowly but there is now proof that marijuana has medical uses (severe epilepsy and pain to start). The FDA should eventually reschedule it. Currently it is schedule 1 (no medical use). That will change.
Then we will be able to discuss it here with fewer restrictions. As long as it is prescribed. Like we already can talk about prescription amphetamines, opiates, benzos, klonopins... rules can be weird. They are here for a reason though.
Since we can't advocate marijuana's use here, for now at least, I can't tell you about its feminizing effects on me. How it calms, makes the world seem more tactile, encourages empathy, reduces aggression... sound familiar? I can't discuss its minimal effects on the liver either, that may sound like advocacy.
Hopefully a day will come when we can openly discuss such things on this forum.
But you can do it in a tongue-in-cheek fashion and it's okay? lol
Moi?
Can we do the whole "SWIM" thing too?
Quote from: Tori on October 24, 2013, 05:46:07 PM
Moi?
Yes. By prefacing your statement with "I can't discuss" I thought that's what you were doing. Maybe I was wrong.
SWIM is not breaking any laws that I know of...
If I might, I'd like to add a more clear question to the thread here also. Do any of you who have had positive or affirming effects from the use of marijuana feel there could be a substantial benefit from a serious medical study of those effects? I truly believe that it might have great potential for some individuals as far a psychological analysis is concerned.
My example would be how terribly self-conscious I am around other people. But after I admitted to myself that I was transgender and obtained a medical use approval, I found that my femininity was exact and absolute. I had broken through a barrier and began to speak more openly and comfortably with others. I no longer felt there was something to hide, and I actually was the person they saw , no matter how they perceived me.
So, this is just another way for me to ask the question.
K
Idk the only thing that really happened when i smoked is i loved to pet my cat (yes the 4 legged animal) and my fridge suddenly went from full to empty....especially if i had anything in a spray can....like cheese wiz or whipped cream.
The jury is out on that question.
I can say MTFs often praise the effects, and historically many cultures valued their trans folk as priests/shamans, meant to journey inward and tell others what they saw. Perhaps there is something there.
I either ate everything in sight, crashed for hours, or both. Not worth the effort so I don't.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 24, 2013, 07:18:07 PM
This doesn't really have anything to do with the topic but I have to ask: What is the appeal of spray cheese?
Honestly i don't have a clue. Its nasty and has a weird taste when im sober, but if im high its the most delicious stuff in the world and i can polish off a can or two in no time.
In the '80s I remember the "Just say NO!" people said that pot would make men grow boobs because it was a lot like estrogen.
Didn't work.
interesting....
pre-HRT, i lived in a stereotypical Stoner House for three or four years... at first i joined in because i didn't want to be left out of my only friends lives, but i rapidly discovered that tactile femininity the OP mentioned... and not only that, but as i embraced the necessity and unavoidability of transition and started dressing, etc, i even started -seeing- myself more femininely[word?] whilst high. i could stand in front of the mirror and see through that male mask like the mask it was. i won't say that's what made me decide to finally do it, but it had a role to play in my confidence that i might actually be able to pull it off.
not far into HRT my circumstances changed dramatically and as a result my smoking pretty much instantly stopped. i do and will continue to partake when i see my old housemates, but that's only once every few months now. what i have noticed on those few occassions is that it takes FAR less to get ridiculously gone, and the tactile sense has intensified to such a point that it can be off putting; i spend less time enjoying the mental effects and more time worrying that my body parts are all about to explode.
when i do end up in front of a mirror i still notice an increased perception of my femininity; last time, in fact, i ended up sitting on the bathroom sink for half an hour staring because i could actually -see- myself as a female, without the usual corollary "once i've dealt with that chin/facial hair" stuff.
not much of an answer, and entirely anecdotal, but hey... at least i can contribute -something- to a conversation :D
Quote from: decepticonLaura on October 25, 2013, 12:15:03 AM
....What i have noticed on those few occassions is that it takes FAR less to get ridiculously gone, and the tactile sense has intensified to such a point that it can be off putting; i spend less time enjoying the mental effects and more time worrying that my body parts are all about to explode.
when i do end up in front of a mirror i still notice an increased perception of my femininity...
Far less needed is right. But the medical that I used to have was far stronger also. I'm glad someone else has nearly identical experiences because it really did help me come out to myself and break out of the social issolation I'd put myself in.
Unfortunately it didn't help with the actual dysphoria in my case, since my body didn't match my mind no matter what I did. Only transition fixed the deep dysphoria and changed my mental state, but by that time I had entirely quit the medical use.
Personally, I don't think we should put anything into our bodies that isn't going to be good for us. With HRT it is common knowledge that Ombolisms can occur (as a side effect) I once had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot) and it wasn't very nice - however was due to a massive bruise following a motor car accident not HRT.
Because we don't generate enough hormone (thus needing more) to nourish our feminine side we need HRT.
Anything that interferes with us "changing" has to be a concern.
Look after your body while you can, and I'm sure you'll be rewarded in latter years.
P.S. I smoked dope when I was young - so many people around me did. All it did for me was make me very sexual - and people who weren't that attractive, suddenly were.
It's a choice. Make better choices and you'll get better results.
weed is bad for both your motivation and brain. Why do you think they call it dope.
Quote from: victoria n on October 29, 2013, 07:51:50 PM
weed is bad for both your motivation and brain. Why do you think they call it dope.
Don't believe everything anti-drug campaigns tell you. In the short term you may be right. The long term effects have yet to be confirmed to have any effect.
Please stay on topic. Random marijuana discussions aren't allowed, this one is because of the specific nature of the O/Ps question. You're derailing the thread.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 29, 2013, 08:02:56 PM
Please stay on topic. Random marijuana discussions aren't allowed, this one is because of the specific nature of the O/Ps question. You're derailing the thread.
Hugs, Devlyn
Agreed!
i agree lots with what most of everyone said that it does give you that nice feeling of femininity, helped a lot when i was pre-HRT.
and i've been told how tobacco/nicotine mixed w HRT will give you bad results but never heard of the same thing w marijuana.
my levels are where they should be so it hasn't affected me.
I don't know why weed would make people feel feminine. It sounds like that is more in the eye of the beholder. Believe me, I knew male stoners who were far from girly. Those who feel a feminine sensation probably are experiencing something from having their inhibitions lowered. I know drinking makes me feel more free and thus more comfortable letting my feminine nature out more than usual. Can't say much about pot, but I imagine it's similar.
There are so many questions about marijuana that will remain unanswered while research is stopped by federal laws. There are also many health and emotional issues that come out of its use that have to be honestly studied and not undermined by predetermined outcomes based on old work.
I've been reading these replies and even if we went off track a bit it's been interesting. But sorry, I'm logging out for a while due to some health issues and a medication change today. Yet if you feel like continuing please do.
Thanks girls, peace.
Quote from: learningtolive on October 29, 2013, 10:46:14 PM
I don't know why weed would make people feel feminine. It sounds like that is more in the eye of the beholder. Believe me, I knew male stoners who were far from girly. Those who feel a feminine sensation probably are experiencing something from having their inhibitions lowered. I know drinking makes me feel more free and thus more comfortable letting my feminine nature out more than usual. Can't say much about pot, but I imagine it's similar.
that's what we're talking about.
Quote from: victoria n on October 29, 2013, 07:51:50 PM
weed is bad for both your motivation and brain. Why do you think they call it dope.
Because it was originally thought to act on the dopamine receptors, that's why.
True.
I have yet to see a study proving it to be bad for the brain.
And it is not dope.
As for motivation, that is a fair point. It can inspire one to sit on a couch.
Yet, compare that to perscription anti-depressants like, SSRIs. Compare it to perscription Benzos like Xanax, Opiates, Amphetamines, Klonopins and any other mind altering drug approved by the FDA. Compare it to alcohol or nicotine.
We need to be careful what we say here about marijuana because it is not yet FDA approved, but compare it to what IS approved by the FDA. Many states and countries allow it but not the almighty USA Food and Drug administration, which this website's staff has decided to abide by, in order to keep people from self prescribing hormones, which, marijuana is also not. Not dope. Not a hormone.
Why do you call it dope, exactly? I don't. I have a perscription. It is legal in many places. Just like dope, which is, quite ironically, FDA approved.
(Steps off soap box)
Much shorter now,
Tori
I did not feel more feminine due to smoking marijuana. I think it made me a little bit self-conscious in public, though.
FYI it is the the United States Government itself who owns the US patent on the neuroprotective properties of cannabanoids:
Cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants: http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PALL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=6630507.PN.&OS=PN/6630507&RS=PN/6630507 (http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PALL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=6630507.PN.&OS=PN/6630507&RS=PN/6630507)
(link is to an actual government site the Patent and Trademark Office)
As a transgendered individual I, for one, have learned not to jump to conclusions based on blanket statements made by others. That is dangerous. I know we must tread lightly about this topic, so I will say no more.
I also dont think I feel more feminine when I smoke marijuana.
I dont smoke it too often. I have a friend that loves smoking, and if we have a get together at her place, then I will smoke a joint or take drag from the bong. I enjoy how it relaxes me.
I have never felt more feminine or masculine when enjoying cannabis. But if effects everyone differently so my experience may not be yours. I am a longtime connoisseur, and am not a "stoner" nor do I sit on the couch all day. I do, however, occasionally use it to self medicate when the dysphoria gets bad. This I see as a bad thing because it prevents me from confronting my gender issues. It does alleviate the depression though.
I always counter the "illegal on the federal level" with "Oh yeah. Go find a federal law enforcement officer to come arrest me for smoking a joint. I'll wait." :police: (Not directed at the mods, directed in general at the people who use this argument with me in daily life. I respect that this is a privately owned website and as such the owners and mods can make any rules they like and enforce them as they see fit.)