Today I took a huge step, I came out to six people! Well, almost six, came out half way with my younger sister this morning. Today I had decided to dress up how I actually feel. I of course didn't really do a very good binding, just a very tight shirt that got me pretty flat if I hunched my shoulders a bit. When she woke up, the first thing she said was "So you are a boy today?" And I pretty much just said yes, and she just replied with that she would not mind another brother. I think she might have known for a while, but I still half way put it out there as a joke.
One person did not understand it at all, but I did not let that ruin my mood!!! I know I will be questioned, and I suppose I will just have to be ready to explain to those who don't understand.
One of the people I came out to has actually been my friend since I was about nine. When she saw me today, the first thing she said was "Looks like Devon is back." That almost got my to cry... For three years, when I was not at home or at school, I would dress in baggy jeans and a hoody and call myself Devon. That stopped since on my thirteenth birthday I was given mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, powder, a skirt and a very girly top for my birthday and I was told that I had to become a girl. One of the worst days of my life...
Everyone else just told me they were both very proud of me and that they felt honored that I would trust them enough to tell them something like that. I'm not fully out there, but I am taking one step at a time.
But!!!! A gay guy checked me out today, up until someone that knew me called me buy my name. Then the look turned into a more, really? Sort of a look x3 That gave me a slight boost as well, I never did suspect I could fool anyone today, but it looked like I did :D
And! To top it all off, I got a new drawing tablet today!!!!! I just don't know what to say, other then it feels like a massive weight has been taken off my shoulders. I will even be getting in contact with a therapist, hopefully Monday.
One step at a time, I will be getting there. I know, there are going to be a lot of family member that will most likely not ever want to talk to me again. So, I am hoping I can ease it in.
-Dalex.
Hope you don't mind a post from one of "the girls" (yes, we have cooties, but so do you!) ;)
Congratulations are certainly in order. You are young and free... I am grateful that you are discovering/realizing your true self. Yes, it can be quite a steep hill, but attitude counts for quite a lot and you appear to have that in spades.
So... get out there and take that hill, young man! We're all rooting for you! :)
Awesome, congrats on taking those first steps!
The thing about the gay guy reminds me of when I went to an LGBT dance last year- there was a group of people I was hanging out with (I had just met them) who knew me as a female because I was there with people I wasn't out to. (They probably all assumed I was a butch lesbian) and a gay guy walked over then started talking with me. Asked me my age, then started flirting with me and at the same time making fun of how young I looked and short I was. It was weird XD He kinda patted me on the chest at one point and I wasn't sure how to react since everyone thought I was a girl- like how would a girl react to that? XD I just pretended to not notice. Eventually he left me alone when his friends tried to hook him up with another guy.
Of course I don't mind a post from one of the girls ;) And thank you so much ^^ It makes me really happy to hear that you are rooting for me! *rolls the sleeves up* I'm going to be running up that hill!
What actually gave me that extra step was the fact that just right before, a friend of mine told me she had just been diagnosed with cancer. She is the strongest person I know, so I know she will take that cancer and make it her bitch. But, I also realized that life is too short. In less then a year, I myself had to undergo twice a cancer check up since I am one of those who will very likely get it as well. I came out clean, but I have already showed the symptoms twice.
I think I have been too close to death too many times already, and each time I have survived the things that brought me close to deaths door, I have come back. Now, I am just going to be me, and not the one everyone believes I was born as. If I am making any sense here at all :P
Quote from: CursedFireDean on October 25, 2013, 03:59:18 PM
Awesome, congrats on taking those first steps!
The thing about the gay guy reminds me of when I went to an LGBT dance last year- there was a group of people I was hanging out with (I had just met them) who knew me as a female because I was there with people I wasn't out to. (They probably all assumed I was a butch lesbian) and a gay guy walked over then started talking with me. Asked me my age, then started flirting with me and at the same time making fun of how young I looked and short I was. It was weird XD He kinda patted me on the chest at one point and I wasn't sure how to react since everyone thought I was a girl- like how would a girl react to that? XD I just pretended to not notice. Eventually he left me alone when his friends tried to hook him up with another guy.
It was rather close to that as well on my end, he kept on looking, eying me up and down. The whole, rawrs, look. Right up until someone called me by my name, then he just seemed to have gotten really confused. x3 Then I think I could even hear someone say as I walked past a couple, one of them saying that I was such a short 'boy'.
I loved it, and I want to hear that again. Okey, I would like to be called a young man then a boy... I am 23 years old after all, but at this point, I don't mind what it is as long as they think I'm just another guy.