Have any of you ever had any nutty exes (or even people you never dated) come out of the woodwork after you came out?
I've been out of HS for almost a decade. It was the last time I ever 'dated' a guy so that's why I'm referencing that point in my life.
It would be prudent of me to note that my engagements with the five of them lasted anywhere between an hour (literally) to a couple of days. During all of these periods, I never kissed/hugged/touched/did anything with them aside from being highly evasive and I certainly never led any of them on. Essentially, I was goated into the 'relationships' to try and assuage my mother (whom I thought wanted that at the time). I was friends with a lot of guys but it never went anywhere at all past that.
I've had 15 guys contact me in the last eight years (guys I barely spoke to, even) contact me with a myriad of ridiculous questions.
- "So... like.... I mean, did -I- make you this way?"
- "Why couldn't you have just dated me? My life wouldn't have been as messed up."
- "I didn't do something to turn you, did I?"
- "So... I dated a guy since you're trans? I wish we could've stayed together because I feel you wouldn't have ended up this way."
The most recent message I got was three weeks ago from a dude I haven't spoken a word to in nine years.
I have zero idea what to make of this anymore. I'm starting to find it increasingly more offensive that any of them would even consider that their brief, fleeting appearances in my life would cause me to have such intense revelations about myself.
people do tend to make things about themselves
also, they may just be using that comment as a way to open up the conversation with you to satisfy their own curiosity about what they heard about you. It happens when people come out as gay too, "did I turn you?" I think they think it is a joke because they don't know any better.
I never had any exes do that. But my sister was terrified that she'd caused my transsexuality by looking down on / not wanting to interact with me. I had to reassure her that no, she couldn't possibly have caused my condition.
Wow! The only "did I cause this" reactions I got were not phrased at me. I know my parents were worried about it (they asked me to examine my past, basically to figure out who caused it) and I'm certain my wife was -- though I'm sure rationally she knows it wasn't her fault.
I don't have a whole lot of ex-girlfriends, though! I don't keep in touch with my prom date (a very nice girl, but she moved far away and was a Junior to my Senior)... and I only had one other in college - basically me experimenting a bit my frosh year (with a slightly older chick ;)). Aside from that ~ a couple single-date things that went nowhere ... and my wife. I highly doubt any of the others will come out of the woodwork unless I go looking for them.
There was one guy who I claimed to be interested in during school (really, it was more of a coverup, but nvm). When he found out I was trans he was just really uncomfortable, because he's thinking "ok, so first you came out as a lesbian, and now this...and you said you liked me...so...what did that all mean then?"
I will add this to my million reasons why I avoid Facebook like Herpes. I can speak about my ex wives though. My first has passed I believe, from unknown to me causes. My second and third are now girl friends, third being biological mother to my kids. My babies are with me and I'm Mom now. We are still joined at the hip because of them. That's OK too. I still have to keep two and three miles apart. Two delights in my divorce from three. Three could care less about two.
I went to a dance last month, I was dressed to the nines and looking fine. I was talking, laughing and hugging my friends. I saw ex two off to the side, so I went to say hi! Her first comment was; "You just keep getting weirder!" It was just one of her usual catty digs. I took it as a validation. LOL! Other passing ships in the night I never see. Most I don't care to anyway. Hug. Joann
Sometimes I feel lonely and I feel like talking to one of my exes again..
But then I think to myself why I left them and then I go back to my Sandra Bullock movies. :D
I never had any exes do that. But my sister was terrified that she'd caused my transsexuality by looking down on / not wanting to interact with me. I had to reassure her that no, she couldn't possibly have caused my condition.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F25.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lyhte5Re5I1r2z62go1_500.png&hash=b4807a47930f48e395b12ee109c27aa79ba786f2)
:D :D