A couple of threads by others have helped me realise how, when crossing out in public, we generally start easy and then continue to push the envelop to gently expand the limits of our comfort zones. And it got me thinking about moments when we suddenly found ourselves well outside that comfort zone, either intentionally or accidentally. It can be a glorious yet scary moment but certainly teaches us heaps!
So in my previous transition... I was about 22 months in and along with two gal pals went to the beach one sunny day! Even now I can't believe how unbelievably game I was to do it, that and the fact that it actually worked! At least I think it did ;D Going with two other women sure helped my courage. Certainly one of my most memorable out and about experiences and waaay outside my comfort zone.
It was a weekday and a beach at the very far end of Sydney's many northern beaches so not crowded - but there I was, somehow passing in a one piece swimming costume. I did use the womens' changing rooms but used a private cubicle. Now, I am the very opposite of well-endowed (hooray) so that made tucking everything away with a gaff pretty easy and the final look was fairly bulge free. The gaff was probably pretty uncomfortable but I was no doubt freaking out so much I never noticed. While I was on the beach a guy came up to me to "ask the time" (yeah, right) which really flipped me, I think I managed to squeak out some kind of answer before running off into the water. Never did it again but it's definitely on my list of must dos as I transition again.
Anyone else had an experience way of your comfort zone?
No other takers? :'( Guess I'll just have to share more of my own! ;D
Because I'm tall - 6'3" - during my first transition attempt I constantly used to think I didn't pass or that I would be outed while wearing a dress in public. Fortunately it never happened. But worry I would.
One day, after about 12 months on HRT, I really pushed the envelope and went to a large clothing outlet. It was a kind of el cheapo public warehouse or something (OK, I confess, it was Supre... what can I say, didn't have much money, needed clothes!). Anyway, it was a weekend and packed with women and girls looking for a bargain. Absolutely packed and it freaked me out plenty. Should I just turn around and run? Or grab some stuff off the rack and pay for it risking getting the wrong size? Or... use the extremely busy change rooms? I must have decided to be brave because I did use the rooms. Sure there were curtains in there but going through the entry into the changing area was way out of my comfort zone... but through I went and everything worked out fine. Got a couple of nice dresses too, including a very sexy red party dress! Had a lot more confidence after that.
There have been many times that I've gone out of my comfort zone but that's
the fun of it. It gave me courage and strength. I've dined at restaurants alone,
shopped, attended meetings and the movies, and interacted with the public. It's
been a wonderful and continuing journey.
:)
Ironically, I'm out of my comfort zone as the male I have pretended to be all my life, shy, withdrawn, nervous... When out dressed femme I experience a comfort I have never had before ever... I used women's toilets within 15 mins of my first ever trip out... I even stood and put lipstick on infront of the bathroom mirror next to a rather rowdy group of cis female strangers.. I even gave them a smile as I left... My comfort zone as the real me knows no bounds.... Yet when I have to revert back to my male life I find myself once again shy and hesitant to do anything out of my comfort zone.
Saz xxx
For me that probably came about age 14 when visiting some of my TS friends (MtF) in the city and they insisted I get fully en femme (no more ambiguous or unisex!) and go out on the town with them (circa 1963 or '64). I was petrified! Not only was I vastly under-age to go into as club with no ID but going to straight clubs I was terrified that I would be 'discovered' and beaten to a pulp! That didn't happen. Not only did I 'pass' but I seemed to attract the nice kind of male attention and it didn't take long for me to really enjoy 'the new me'! I LOVED chumming with my girlfriends after that and going out on the town.
That's cool, genee!
Jane, that sounds like quite an exciting outing, especially at that age!
Quote from: sazzy on October 26, 2013, 05:55:13 PM
Ironically, I'm out of my comfort zone as the male I have pretended to be all my life, shy, withdrawn, nervous...
A very interesting way of looking at it. I joked with my counsellor that at the moment I feel like a woman trying to pass as a man and I really have to watch my behaviour and the way I dress and talk, it really puts me in a different frame of mind. Hopefully won't last much longer.