I am close to starting to take hormones. I am due to get my "letter" and speak with a doctor middle of November about said hormones. Does taking female hormones cause one to perceive men and women differently than without? Does perception of other things change? I like to think of myself as relatively situationally aware and was curious what may change. I realize each person is different, I'm just looking for a general consensus.
For me there's been a change in how I view the world in general. Before hormones there was some sort of barrier between me and the rest of the world. And now that the barrier is gone I feel closer to the rest of the world. It's a bit as if reality became slightly more real than before. It's a little like when I got my first pair of glasses; I didn't know I needed glasses until I tried them on and realized that the world wasn't actually supposed to be fuzzy around the edges.
For some it may. It depends on the person. I haven't had much personality or perception changes from the hormones, but I have always been a sensitive and emotional person. As for perception of men and women, I see them the same way I did beforehand. Besides small subtle things, there was no mental shift for me. Having said that, others have noticed a difference. Many have noted that I am more comfortable with myself and more expressive. I don't really see the change myself, but a few people have told me this.
I had a sense of being home and at peace with myself. My perception of life changed, akin to lifting the fog, and I had much more empathy. Since then, some 8 months later, I'm very much at peace with myself and the and have settled in to this new life experience. Have a wonderful journey.
I'm hoping that fog will be lifted for me. It's tough to go through at times but the sun will soon shine and burn the fog away. All will be clear; at least that's the hope. Thanks for the insight.
It can be subtle or so I've been told. For me I have or had some pretty monster sized anxiety issues. First day on estradiol and BANG the anxiety dropped like a sack of stones off my back. I ached so bad all over my body I thought I was going to have to call my endo back for help and then it hit me. I had been so tense for so long that achy pain I felt all over was my body relaxing. Two months in and I am able to cry and feel emotions as I would like to as well. No more feeling numb at funerals or indifferent in how I feel feel for friends and family.
So yes the fog lifted for me. And I hope you have that experience too.
Quote from: warlockmaker on October 30, 2013, 10:33:17 PM
I had a sense of being home and at peace with myself. My perception of life changed, akin to lifting the fog, and I had much more empathy. Since then, some 8 months later, I'm very much at peace with myself and the and have settled in to this new life experience. Have a wonderful journey.
I can identify with your statement. I also use the analogy that my old life was illuminated by the emergency lighting at the Exit sign. When the Estrogen was re-introduced into my body. It was like all the florescent lights came on in my room. I then have a peaceful full functioning brain.
At over two years HRT, I am still changing, growing from girl child, through puberty and adolescence, on to adult womanhood. Some things didn't change, other things shifted a little and some things change dramatically. Each person is different so your mileage may vary. It is for everyone I have met, an evolution. There is no magic wand to pass over us for an immediate fix. Embrace your journey.
One of my discoveries finding out I am intersexed; all my life I could never find shoes that fit me correctly, my feet hurt forever! I slipped into women shoes and found they fit perfectly. The difference between female and male is the distance from the ball on the side of the foot to the back of the heel. I was literally crying in the arms of a friend about the difficulties I was having on my journey. She hugged me tight and told me one thing that I will carry always. "You will be fine, you are just growing into your feet!" Hug. Joann
Quote from: Christine167 on October 30, 2013, 11:57:25 PM
First day on estradiol and BANG the anxiety dropped like a sack of stones off my back.
I experienced the same thing :)
I didn't know how strong my anxiety was until it vanished, and I could feel 'normal' for the first time. Not even through my most positive times earlier had I ever been truly free from anxiety, and 24 hours it was just gone.
Quote from: Incarlina on October 31, 2013, 03:47:45 AM
I experienced the same thing :)
I didn't know how strong my anxiety was until it vanished, and I could feel 'normal' for the first time. Not even through my most positive times earlier had I ever been truly free from anxiety, and 24 hours it was just gone.
Awesome, just completely awesome. :)
Since it has been reported what its like pre srs I shall report what its like post srs.
I can take estro in a low dose and I feel nothing. If I stop taking it I feel nothing. I often ask myself why I still take it. I suppose my usual answer is for prevention of osteoporosis.
I have two friends who is also post op and she has done the same as me. Stopped taking it for a good while and noticed no difference.
Katie
My sense of taste became quite sharp and my color vision turned into technicolor. Also, I am using my full vocabulary and have become much more verbal in general. Also, I feel much more empathic and alive.
Fine wine has become kaleidoscopic, but my tolerance for alcohol is out the window.
It's like HRT lit up parts of my brain that were not being utilized before. I also wonder if I've gained some IQ points...
I haven't felt much change on HRT. Most of the changes came about before HRT when I started thinking of myself as feminine.
Here is what I know I've felt:
* I notice smells more.
* My skin is softer and not as tough. Means I get cuts and scrapes more easily. Also means it's easier to "feel feminine".
* Sexual arousal and response is totally different.
I also may or may not have experienced less of a tolerance for watching violence and more of an interest in cute things. That might just be because of my shift in perspective.
Except for the sexual stuff, it's all be been subtle and hard to notice.
My sense of directions is completely shot, but I don't mind stopping @ 7/11 to ask for them.
Thank you all for the insight. Its good to know what to expect. I got word from my doctor that there is a plan in place and will get started once I get my "letter".
About the biggest perception change I noticed as well as others in my support group is tastes in food. In particular, cravings for vinegar or pickled foods.
Quote from: Christine167 on October 30, 2013, 11:57:25 PM
It can be subtle or so I've been told. For me I have or had some pretty monster sized anxiety issues. First day on estradiol and BANG the anxiety dropped like a sack of stones off my back. I ached so bad all over my body I thought I was going to have to call my endo back for help and then it hit me. I had been so tense for so long that achy pain I felt all over was my body relaxing. Two months in and I am able to cry and feel emotions as I would like to as well. No more feeling numb at funerals or indifferent in how I feel feel for friends and family.
So yes the fog lifted for me. And I hope you have that experience too.
This is what I'm curious about. I've been stuck in a fog with depression and anxiety since the beginning of puberty. I am on antidepressants and can also relate to feeling indifference for friends and family. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I am tempted to tell him about my trans feelings to see what he thinks. I'd as my gender therapist about it but I dome see her until Wednesday. :'(
I've had a nervous energy and anxiety fueled by my dysphoria for a long long time. Within about a week or so of starting estradiol I noticed that my levels dropped precipitously. My libido went to the cellar, as well. It's actually kind of nice. My personality is the same, but I feel like I have the focus, awareness, and attention to absorb the world around me and the people in it. It means that I can "feel" things like music, children's laughter, and others feelings at a way I was unable to previously. It is really quite beautiful.
Like Suzi also mentioned - skin got really soft within about a month or so. Chest started swelling within about a week, and nipples stood right out after 10 days. The whole area around my boobs got sore at day 4 or 5 and has been that way ever since, but not a lot of growth (at the 2 month mark). Erections are a bit of a...challenge...to maintain without cialis. Other than that, life is pretty much the same. Just happy!
Quote from: Antonia J on November 02, 2013, 07:48:55 PM
Erections are a bit of a...challenge...to maintain without cialis.
I've not had any trouble maintaining one, but they don't just pop up randomly anymore and it takes a bit of work to get one going. Takes a bit more effort to orgasm as well (though they are different, and feel a LOT better!)
Aside from the emotional changes, In general I'd say my perception of the world has changed as I've progressed through my transition. I know my thought patterns have changed and it's hard to describe.
The less subtle changes include:
- sense of taste has changed in some cases. Smokey favours no longer have the same appeal. Parts of flavours are more intense.
- chocolate has become my new best friend. Pre HRT it never did anything for my mood. Now when I'm miserable it has an immediate and noticeable improvement.
- sexuality has changed. Pre transition I identified as a gynoromantic asexual. Now I find myself having certain "cravings" when I'm around some guys. >:-)
- my motherly instinct has been kicked up a notch or two
- I seem to have a 21 day emotional/mental "phantom cycle" that I can't quite explain.
Speaking of chocolate... I taught myself awhile ago how to make it from scratch from watching this video / tutorial.
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-Chocolate-From-Scratch/
To make things simple I just buy the chocolate nibs alone. I guess I'll have an excuse to make it again.
Well, perception changes...
I think I am now looking to the world with another pair of eyes, the eyes of a woman.
Example:
I have a small group of friends, almost all are males of my age, and I really never wanted to argue with them about their, how can I say, excessive manliness. I always just listened...but now I can't bare the fact of how they are really jerks! I never liked the way they treat woman or the way they treat sex as something totaly banal...now I think they look like animals guided only by their genital organs, they are talking all the time about sex and about getting laid with different girls every week (and most of them have girlfriends!) ugh
I just couldn't take it any longer and I started to argue that they act like jerks, that it is wrong to treat woman that way...
Well, their reaction was unexpected to me. They started to look at me like if I was a maniac from other galaxy, or a woman (they can't even imagine that they are right on this one ;D).
Besides that, I think I am somewhat calmer. I don't rush things any more, I sleep more, I even speak slower (I used to speak so fast some people couldn't understand me lol) and when I realize something about me changed, even a tiny bit, then I get so happy like if for the first time in my life I am walking to the right direction!
I would love to be able to sleep more. I wake up about 3 or more times a night to use the restroom regardless of how much or little fluids I drink beforehand. I already tend to not rush thing and speak at an average pace. I would like to be calmer and not to worry as much. So much to look forward to :)
One thing I've noticed; men, esp. young men smell odd. I'm thinking it's some sort of pheromone interaction.