Seriously, it's the fourth one already. Four in a freaking row. I always get a few messages with "hello, you looking so pretty. how are you today?". After between one and two messages more, it always ends like this:.
Quotehonestly i contacted you , cause i wanna know you , and i think that i will pass my vacations in spain ! so what do you think ?
QuoteHola! Estoy visitando Bilbao y quería saber si querías hacerla un poco de guía turística
(Hello! I'm visiting your city and I wanted to know if you could be my tourist guide)
QuoteHey there. I'll be in you area soon and must admit I don't really know anyone. Would love for someone to show me a good time. I'm Daniel by the way, You?
At first I redirected them to the tourist office, but now I just tell them that
I am neither a tourist guide or a escort. Do they seriously think that I am going to be losing a whole day with a complete stranger that 99.99999% only wants to score at the end of the day? Let's say it's somebody I've known for months or years online and now is visiting. Sure, I'll give you the whole city, I might even consider casual sex if it is not going to ruin our friendship, but this... Once we teamed up for sightseeing with other tourists and ended being good friends, but that was purely coincidental
This ranks between the worst pickup lines I have ever seen.
Men, frequently amusing, clueless and pathetic all at the same time.
Apple, I know it's generally regarded as the female way to wait for men to make the move rather than being the one who makes a play to pick up the guy but have you tried to look for guys you might like and contacting them? That might not be something you feel comfortable with, but every contact doesn't have to end with a date... just an opportunity to chat online and have him get go know you before you go any further if he seems promising.
As a lonely guy, possibly going to be a lonely girl some day, I second Grace_C's thought about looking for who you want and reaching out to them.
I'm a noob here though lol.
I don't even respond to people who aren't from my area.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 02, 2013, 05:17:05 PM
I don't even respond to people who aren't from my area.
Sadly, I never seem to find people from my own area... I guess it is because most dating sites I use are not localised for spain, so sites like POF, OK Cupid or TV Chix will show minimum amounts of users...
Problem is that the only "dating" site there is for Spain seems to be Badoo, full of hideous creeps. Nearly half the country seems to be there, and the usual idea is... "Badoo is for Sex". Sing it like "The Internet is for Porn"...
Most other sites are full of people too old for me, and in the end... In the end I'm gonna start singing
"Where have all the good men gone " like Bonnie Tyler
All of this makes me even more and more glad i swore off men and became a lesbian....plus if i get with someone the same size as me i instantly double my wardrobe lol.
Twice I've created accounts at a swedish LGBTQ community site, and both times I've gotten tired of receiving messages from guys saying "wanna ****?" or "I have a huge ****, wanna meet?" despite my profile saying in all caps "Not interested in guys, not interested in guys, not interested in guys, not interested in guys."
I managed to make one friend there, but in the end I closed my account a few days ago after seeing that among all the racists groups on the site, some people had started an anti-feminism group. That just made me give up.
At least your respondents are able to write in sentences.... I usually get:
S'up... along with a dick pic. Romance is dead. :'(
And that's when they have pictures. They told me POF was better, but... The first one, no pictures; second one, low ress and hiding face, the rest of pics are from a car expo. I want to date a man, not a car. And the third one was out my age range, which is an instant block.
There are a lot of minor things I always look for in a man. Knowing how to write, Wearing decent clothing, having a nice haircut... And being able to say more than "Hello, how are you?" in the first message. I have a profile, say something about it, show that you read it.
BTW, having "Marlboro" as username and saying you are a non smoker...
Quote from: Incarlina on November 02, 2013, 07:43:24 PM
Twice I've created accounts at a swedish LGBTQ community site, and both times I've gotten tired of receiving messages from guys saying "wanna ****?" or "I have a huge ****, wanna meet?"...
Have these lines ever worked with anyone anywhere??? You have to wonder why guys continue to use them, I can't imagine any woman with a modicum of self esteem ever saying yess.
Quote from: Grace_C on November 02, 2013, 10:16:39 PM
Have these lines ever worked with anyone anywhere??? You have to wonder why guys continue to use them, I can't imagine any woman with a modicum of self esteem ever saying yess.
I think I've gotten crap like this maybe once. I've met men on OKC, most of them just go out on a date with me and then want to come over to my house on the second date though. I usually get a free dinner out of it at least :P
Apple, I totally relate and although at times this all seems to be amusing, but at the end of the day it becomes confusing (pun intended) and desperate. I only got profile hits in OKC and no messages (maybe I should not state that I am trans there?).
There were several nice guys on the TGD, but sometimes I think that they are all crazy there... Seriously, there was this nice and intelligent man, but despite all of his policies of not getting things personal until he has gotten a sort of idea of mutual chemistry – despite all of those statements I got an impression if he suddenly was next to me or the other ways around – I dont know what could happen. I ended with being sent 30 mins + sound records where he elaborated on various topics. And he had nice deep and sexy voice and was totally ex-hippie. But seriously, dude, You are living in Seattle – what are You expecting??? Please, dont get into me without even knowing me...
Then there was this ,,great" dude who ,,clicked on my profile" on the local LGBT site and his profile screamed ,,->-bleeped-<-, ->-bleeped-<-!". And, of course, his profile pic sported his ,,pride" – not much to be proud of, if You wanna know my opinion... I made the mistake to click on his profile and he immediately sent me a PM with the general idea – ,,Wanna meet up? Send me Your pic!". It amused me so much that I spent some time in brief exchanges, trying to educate him on the subject and that I am TS and not a CD/TV. But then it all got boring and a bit aggresive from his part, so I just asked if there is anything apart of sex that he could offer me. And he got lost immediately.
Two days ago a placed an ad in some equivalent of this Badoo service :P – stating that I am MtF TS looking for romance and ,,normal" relationship. I got two replies so far. The first one was one sentence ,,Yeah... lets do smth rooooumantic..." (Care to elaborate? Hello?)
The other one was just great – ,,Hi bunny! (lol... me and bunny..) Got a pic?"
Sometimes, I just wanna bang my head against the wall, silently...
LOL at the topic subject...
I just realized myself that I've never really understood men... as in: typical sitcom style.
The internet is the problem. I have to assume all girls posting ads get this sort of behavior... everything is anonymous and those guys probably just get a thrill from degrading you. They don't even care if you respond seriously or not... though in their minds: if you do, all the better.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 03, 2013, 06:08:53 AM
Apple, I totally relate and although at times this all seems to amusing, but at the end of the day it becomes confusing (pun intended) and desperate. I only got profile hits in OKC and no messages (maybe I should not state that I am trans there?).
There were several nice guys on the TGD, but sometimes I think that they are all crazy there... Seriously, there was this nice and intelligent man, but despite all of his policies of not getting things personal until he has gotten a sort of idea of mutual chemistry – despite all of those statements I got an impression if he suddenly was next to me or the other ways around – I dont know what could happen. I ended with being sent 30 mins + sound records where he elaborated on various topics. And he had nice deep and sexy voice and was totally ex-hippie. But seriously, dude, You are living in Seattle – what are You expecting??? Please, dont get into me without even knowing me...
Then there was was ,,great" dude who ,,clicked on my profile" on the local LGBT site and his profile screamed ,,->-bleeped-<-, ->-bleeped-<-!". And, of course, his profile pic sported his ,,pride" – not much to be proud of, if You wanna know my opinion... I made the mistake to click on his profile and he immediately sent me a PM with the general idea – ,,Wanna meet up? Send me Your pic!". It amused me so much that I spent some time in brief exchanges, trying to educate him on the subject and that I am TS and not a CD/TV. But then it all got boring and a bit aggresive from his part, so I just asked if there is anything apart of of sex that he could offer me. And he got lost immediately.
Two days ago a placed an ad in some equivalent of this Badoo service :P – stating that I am MtF TS looking for romance and ,,normal" relationship. I got two replies so far. The first one was one sentence ,,Yeah... lets do smth rooooumantic..." (Care to elaborate? Hello?)
The other one was just great – ,,Hi bunny! (lol... me and bunny..) Got a pic?"
Sometimes, I just wanna bang my head against the wall, silently...
Do you not have a picture on your profile? I wont even talk to a guy unless he has a profile pic....
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 03, 2013, 06:48:48 AM
Do you not have a picture on your profile? I wont even talk to a guy unless he has a profile pic....
I have it on OKC and TGD (the same I have here), but not on our local LGBT forum - they are password protected there, but guys can see that I have pics and ask for access politely. In that case, I usually ask them to make the first move, or if their main pic is their d..ck, then I just ignore them onwards. The reason I am doing it, is because I do get a lot of attention from obvious ->-bleeped-<-s even without pics (they see someone being transsexual and it is like a red flag for them, as there are very few TS here and rest being TV/CD or just some creeps. So with available pics in my profile they would just shut down my mailbox instantly...
I am not putting pics for random ads in hook-up sites - at least, I expect that the guy would show up his pic first, but they never do.
Quote from: kabit on November 03, 2013, 06:40:14 AM
LOL at the topic subject...
I just realized myself that I've never really understood men... as in: typical sitcom style.
The internet is the problem. I have to assume all girls posting ads get this sort of behavior... everything is anonymous and those guys probably just get a thrill from degrading you. They don't even care if you respond seriously or not... though in their minds: if you do, all the better.
Well, I got into the most serious relationship in my life via Internet... Except, I never had an intention to start something serious, I just rated her pic and she replied with "tnx" and we exchanged a couple of remarks and then kept exchanging for a month, then there was first date, then the second... about four months later something happened :P.
When I started transition and the hormones took over I started to think that maybe I would find a decent guy some day.....
Well years later I am a lot wiser. I learned the crap women go through with men. I got to experience what many men are like. Finally at my age I came to realize that any single guys are usually the spoils of anything good that has already been snatched up.
I do realize I have little patience for crap and that's a big key to the whole not dating thing but I just don't care anymore. I don't date anyone.
Last though is if a pre op girl is trying to date men it befumbles me. I mean straight guys don't want a gal with the wrong parts, and the guys that do what a gal like this are usually even creepier than the guys I have met that just want sex.
It is hard to disagree with You, Katie :(. But as You said... hormones are taking over and... ugh!
Quote from: JennX on November 02, 2013, 08:03:41 PM
At least your respondents are able to write in sentences.... I usually get:
S'up... along with a dick pic. Romance is dead. :'(
Oh a man that knows the way to my heart, lol. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people!?
I think the problem is online dating in general allows people to be jerks. The anonymous nature of it makes people more up front about asking for sex and hitting on people. Most guys in real life would probably be more subtle about their intentions. At least, that's what I hope. I could be wrong about that as my love life is non existent. Still, have you thought about meeting guys in real life and not just online? You may meet some nicer guys who may be less vulgar than what you encounter online. Sorry, I wish I had the answers. I'm still not certain about how to start dating myself. I wish men were easier or I could just be a lesbian, lol.
I'm going to blow my brains at this rate.
I registered at Adoptauntío (Adopt a Dude). The best thing is that men cannot talk to women until you give them access, and you are the one that browses and chose them. So that blocks ->-bleeped-<-s and whatever.
First one I open, after the first hello and that (Now I have the "Trans badge" showing in my description). "I'm going to be sincere, I don't think I am what you are looking for but I'd like to have an experiencie with a girl like you"
"With a girl like Me... You mean Trans?"
"Yes"
"Do you have something operated?"
Sorry, but there there isn't a lot more to do here. If you can't see me like another woman and what attracts you is my condition, I could not stand it. Too many people has already tried to dinf that experience with me, and it only makes things more painful when every day you fight to be accepted as another woman.
In any case, I'm happy you didn't call me ->-bleeped-<-. Hope you are lucky in a future"
I'm too tired to enter into nuclear meltdown. I wonder if without the "BTW I'm trans flag" things would have gone bad. I stopped a pottential trans experience seeker and probably avoided being asked if I was a ->-bleeped-<-...
Anyone had any experiences of lesbian dating sites?
Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........
If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....
Quote from: Katie on November 03, 2013, 07:08:26 PM
Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........
If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....
.... and if you don't? :D
Quote from: Katie on November 03, 2013, 07:08:26 PM
Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........
If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....
Many lesbians are actually bi, they just don't say it because guys are too often creeps. Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them. We don't want touches downstairs...and they don't want to give touches down there.
I've had accounts on a few dating sites, and on the notorious Craigslist, and clearly say "I don't give out pics, meet me and then decide if I'm attractive or not"...yet most people send a reply and ask, "Got a pic?"
Delete, delete, DELETE.
Beth,
You should get a pic of a Dalek saying that and use it every time you hear that "got a pic?" line. They might get the idea that you hear it much too often.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 03, 2013, 08:12:50 PM
Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them. We don't want touches downstairs...and they don't want to give touches down there.
From what I have observed, what Beth says here is true.
Okcupid if full of ->-bleeped-<-s and sex addicts. Its the craigslist of online dating sites. I never in my life have been asked by so many people to do things, have three somes, and been told so many inappropriate things. I deleted my account and joined Match. It sucks too only because I have not met that special man but I think sites that force you to pay weeds out the majority of dirtbags.
We have a few sites here in Australia which are reasonably good quality paid membership sites. I used them a few times several years ago and met up with some nice women, only problem was they were (obviously) hetro women looking for a hetro guy who wasn't harbouring trans woman tendencies! As a "guy" using those sites I was always well mannered, non creepy and easy going... never had a problem getting a meet up lunch date, just nothing much beyond that. As relationships go I never felt any real chemistry or sexual desire for them. Increasingly I wasn't even interested in getting to first base which is why I decided to stop using online dating because there was clearly something going on that I didn't understand and it was as much a waste of their time as mine.
Quote from: caleb. on November 03, 2013, 08:58:44 PM
From what I have observed, what Beth says here is true.
It gives me hope... :D
I still don't know what I am - but I'm not really into men socially or physically (above the waist ;)) so only if HRT can change that part . . .
It's difficult I'm just beginning my transition and never used a dating site. I had a good friend that turned lover but I ended feeling like a prostitute. This happened with a very close friend. All I can say is that guy's are a trip.
Quote from: Bardoux on November 03, 2013, 06:12:48 PM
Anyone had any experiences of lesbian dating sites?
OKCupid is the default queer girl dating site, at least in North America. Mostly due to the fabulous ability to make yourself invisible to blokes.
Quote from: Katie on November 03, 2013, 07:08:26 PM
Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........
If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....
Depends on the person and what you both are interested in doing in bed.
Age tends to be the biggest factor. Younger women are far more likely to be interested in dating a pre-op trans woman than older women are. Also it helps if you are hot. Particularly queer-hot.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 03, 2013, 08:12:50 PM
Many lesbians are actually bi, they just don't say it because guys are too often creeps. Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them.
Eh. I'd say "so long as we act like
queer women, we're good for them," which isn't quite the same thing. There is definitely an expectation that you will know something about queer female culture, and be aware of certain norms that are exclusive to queer women communities. There is a whole kind of language and style associated with gay ladies, just like there is for any subculture. If you've never heard of Arcade Fire, nobody is going to believe you are a hipster. Just as if you've never heard of Tegan and Sara, nobody is going to believe you are a lesbian. Etc.
(For example, go here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/ and scroll all the way down to the subheading "Stuff Gay People Like" and click on the female icon. If you don't recognize/care about most things on that list, you are probably going to have a hard time of it.)
Quote from: Sarah7 on November 06, 2013, 10:23:31 PM
Eh. I'd say "so long as we act like queer women, we're good for them," which isn't quite the same thing. There is definitely an expectation that you will know something about queer female culture, and be aware of certain norms that are exclusive to queer women communities. There is a whole kind of language and style associated with gay ladies, just like there is for any subculture. If you've never heard of Arcade Fire, nobody is going to believe you are a hipster. Just as if you've never heard of Tegan and Sara, nobody is going to believe you are a lesbian. Etc.
(For example, go here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/ and scroll all the way down to the subheading "Stuff Gay People Like" and click on the female icon. If you don't recognize/care about most things on that list, you are probably going to have a hard time of it.)
That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD :) I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.
Quote from: kabit on November 07, 2013, 07:05:09 AM
That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD :) I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.
OK ... I think I get it ... What Terrance and Phillip are to South Park, Tegan and Sara are to gay women ... right? :)
Quote from: Carlita on November 07, 2013, 08:35:00 AM
OK ... I think I get it ... What Terrance and Phillip are to South Park, Tegan and Sara are to gay women ... right? :)
In b4 the lock! :)
I ca't believe I've been forced to invoke the key and lock comparison...
I've been in a pre-op lesbian relationship with my partner for six years. Some of it's fun. Some of it's not. Being with guys is way easier in almost every way but I enjoy and appreciate our dynamic and tenderness more than I can say. As for your ability to hook up with another lesbian? It's possible but a long shot in many ways.
Quote from: kabit on November 07, 2013, 07:05:09 AM
That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD :) I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.
Possibly. I don't really do radio myself. Sorry. My preference for queer news is Autostraddle. Or my gf.
Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on November 07, 2013, 09:36:05 AM
I've been in a pre-op lesbian relationship with my partner for six years. Some of it's fun. Some of it's not. Being with guys is way easier in almost every way but I enjoy and appreciate our dynamic and tenderness more than I can say. As for your ability to hook up with another lesbian? It's possible but a long shot in many ways.
I'm curious sometimes how different it really is. But being monosexual, I don't really have any options for satisfying that curiosity.
Personally, I waited till I was post-op to date, due to my issues with my body. I do know a trans girl who slept with rather a lot of ladies pre-op. Hot, young, and studying at a progressive university provides opportunities, apparently.