The last few days have been really weird for me, guess it started when I discovered my new favorite band, Cimorelli, for whatever reason that just caused my life to become weird. Like, today I woke up and looked into the mirror, and it really felt like I had seen myself for the first time, instead of seeing an ugly guy looking back at me, I just saw me I guess.
For most of this year I was certain that transitioning is what I need to do after high school and college, but I really don't think that is right for me anymore. I for whatever reason have decided to accept some things about being a guy(the whole down there stuff is still a bit weird), and obviously would still choose to be a girl if I could, but it is just weird now.
Another thing, is I am just happy for pretty much no reason, like I think I should be sad or something, but I just am happy. At least I think so, since I kind of feel really weird, like something amazing is happening to me. I am just like, I really can't explain it.
But I still do hate the gender roles and all of that stupid stuff, and hate how guys get like no fashion stuff to try, and still feel like I was supposed to be a girl, but now it is different in a way I can't explain. Wonder if all of this was just a phase..?
Anyways, just wondering what others think of this?
Edit: Also just remembered that I have been really really really wanting to learn to dance and sing, actually asked my mom about taking vocal lessons, but think the dance thing would end with my family convinced I am gay and like yeah, kind of realized at least my older brother is very anti-LGBT.