Today I discovered that I can't talk to a crowd of people. I get into a sweat, my words don't come out properly, my voice goes shaky, I sound like I'm about to cry and I start scratching myself. I don't know if it's because the attention is on me, or if I'm subconsciously worried about something, but I really want to get past this fear of public speaking.
Do any of you have any practical tips to help with my confidence? Or any tips on how to remain calm? Any help is appreciated.
Do you mean speaking in an auditorium setting? I've heard you should look over them, not at them. I really don't have any tips. The more people I can get watching me, the happier I am! ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
I used to have the same type of anxiety about public speaking, waaaaay back when I was in High School. That's why I joined the Debating Society: I decided to fight fire with fire so that I conquer my insecurities.
In the Debating Society we were given the task of preparing short speeches either in favour of, or against, random topics. We didn't get to pick the topic (or which position we'd like to take) so on occasion it meant I had to argue persuasively for something that I naturally oppose. But doing so taught me how to research my subject, think critically, and how to defend my point of view irrespective of what the audience might think.
A couple of things helped me cope with my anxiety whilst doing this:
- It's an old cliché, but it really does help to imagine that the audience is naked. It takes their power away from you and makes them slightly ridiculous - and it's almost impossible for you to feel scared or nervous about someone you find ridiculous.
- If you can't stand the thought of nudity, remind yourself that everyone in your audience has to do some pretty undignified things every single day. I've stood up & debated in front of academics who knew their subject much better than I did, but I coped with that by imagining them drunk, or picking their nose, or constipated, or whatever. Mentally taking them down a peg or two will remove their capacity to make you feel small or incompetent. Remember the Riddikulus (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Riddikulus) charm against Boggarts in Harry Potter? Before you stand up to speak, imagine you've just used it against them. ;)
- Slow. Down. Take some deep breaths, and speak in a slow, controlled manner. Think of how politicians do it on the telly. They often take pauses between sentences, look down at their notes, and speak extra-slowly when they want to make a significant point. All of these techniques help to keep your audience interested in what's coming next.
- Another thing that I do is I pick three people in the room: one on my left, one in front of me, and one on my right. Then when I speak, I hold my gaze on one of them for about 15 seconds, before flicking to the next one. By alternating my gaze like this, I can maintain some control of who I'm looking at, and the room gets the impression that I'm talking to everyone.
- Importantly, I don't ever look in anyone's eyes whilst talking to them. It makes me too anxious to do so... because if you're looking into their eyes, you're naturally trying to gauge their reaction. Instead, I look at the spot between their eyebrows - and I do this for everyone, whether I'm speaking to a single individual or the three chosen individuals I mentioned above. Again, this helps me control how much interaction I'm having with the audience.
- In truth, everyone in your audience is rooting for you and they hope you'll do well. You might be feeling insecure because you're worried they'll judge you, but their default position is to be on your side and receptive to what you're about to say. At the end of the day, they just want the speeches to go smoothly and end as quickly as possible so they can get back to doing whatever they're supposed to be doing.
- If it's a prepared speech, I rehearse over & over again what I want to say. I then make some brief, bullet-point notes and take them with me as reminders. But then I just wing the speech itself, using the bullet points to prompt the next thing I want to say. That's much easier to do than trying to remember a long, involved speech word-for-word.
- Another helpful thing is to wear a top with pockets (like a hoodie or something) and put something tactile in your pocket that you can fiddle with, such as some acorns, or some dice, or a pen lid. Then keep one hand in that pocket throughout and fiddle with the device to keep your anxiety levels down. It'll help you relax.
- Start with a humorous comment. If you introduce yourself with a smile and a quick laugh for the audience, they'll be much more receptive to what you have to say, and you'll be more relaxed throughout.
Standing up in front of strangers isn't something that comes naturally to most people. It's a skill you can cultivate, but it gets easier with practice.
Maybe something in this will help you, hon.
http://www.stresscure.com/jobstress/speak.html
Last Friday I had to give a speech in front of an audience consisting of ~ 350 persons - the largest audience I have ever had.
Somehow, I have a knock for public speech, but if You would ask if I was nervous – hell, yes!
I was and I always am - but only before I get to start - as soon as I am standing there - it goes away. I am there to speak to them and they are mine to play with.
The main rule for me is to come prepared and I cant express how important it is for me. My boss never writes her speeches – she has an outline, talking points and the rest is improvisation. I cannot do that the way she does. I am writing down all of the text I intend to convey, but I never read it from the paper. Never. It is the worst type of presentation, when the speaker does not maintain the eye contact with the audience. Writing my speech down helps me to memorise it better, I always know what is coming next and if something goes wrong, I can skip to another part. I do improvise too, but it is always on the spot. I also usually read my speech out aloud at least 2-3 times to understand if I am keeping within time limits and to outline the intonations – monotonous speech is another thing to avoid. Speak with intonations, emotions, use pauses and dont be afraid to include rhetoric questions – that way You are creating sort of interaction with the audience, making them think over what You just said to them.
Keep sentences within the same page, so that You dont have to turn over a page in the middle of a long sentence and get an awkward pause. Underline or bold out important issues, so You can spot them coming in the text. Use the water supply when necessary or when You need a bit of pause. Dont look at anyone particular, but just slowly browse across the audience from time to time, while You keep speaking. If they are acting rude and there is a chatter or smth, just make a pause and look at them (dont say a word to them) – all attention will shift to them and they will shut up instantly or others will hush them.
If You need anymore practical guidances, dont hesitate to send me PM - I might not be a guru of public speech, but being the ESFP personality type I enjoy performing in the front of an audience :).