Hi There !
Here is a little little long tread about myself..
If you wish, you can read it until the end.. and maybe (i wish) even comment ..
Basicaly I want to tell you the story of my '' comming out to my mom'' ..
Well first I think I must share a bit about my own developpment.
..
I first came ut verbaly to myself and a very good friend three years ago.
One night... too much bier... I collapsed ...
I started to cry... and told her that I had theses though about being transgender...
Well the same night we talked and talked.. it was great !
She was more than understanding!
But at the end.. We both where laughing at this thought that seemed so absurde,.. since I behave and looked like a very male persona.
6 months went ''vorbei'' where everything was ok.
Then suddenly....
BAMMMM!!
Depression.... because partly I had a lot of financial stress and school etc..
But at that time.. The thought about my gender identity came back strongly..
It went back after the stress wave was cleared out..
I them thought.. this is just a reaction to stress.. it's not something ''real ''
well...
3 months after it came back.. for one month !
and went down as I was soooo busy for 3 months... and came back right after.... very strongly...
( I skip some details)
Until a point where I was sooo fed up and I was looking secretly on the web maybe 3 hours a day at least.. about the thema.
I decided and accepted... ok .. now I need to do something.
So I started a Therapie in a social queer center.
It helps me a lot .
Since I accepted that this is part of me I feel much better.
I also started to be hones with my close friends, I told them that This is an issue that I work on presently,.. I still don't have answer, I still don't know how far it will lead.. but .. here is my reallity.....
So here I come ...
I was accepting myself more and more, in a fast forward movement in the last 3 months.. but having still a really strong family pressure... of not knowing .. how to manage this thought in the family...
Well... It worked by it's own !!!
I was on skype with my mon ( I live in germany, she live in Canada) ( I will go in CA for Christmas) She told me ..
What are your plans for x mas ?
I said, I will come home, but I won't be alone.
A friend will come, but I must tell you first, she is transexual..
So please be ok and don't judge or act weird.. she is a girls .
(I invited my friend because I knew her family doesnt speek to her anymore... )
Well, Thats where it all begins,
She was very fine with it, and asked me a lot of questions.
What does that mean ?
Is she Gay ?
Why?
How?
Etc... ?
And sunddenly.... she asked ....
But do you, yourself, also ask you the same questions about gender identity....??
At that point.. I couldn't lie ...
Then we spoke for 2 or 3 hours more...
She was so f***g understanding... that it blew my A** of !!!
She said, please give me some links on the web to learn about that, books, videos,..
.. welll ... WAW!
She was so Awsome ! I didn't believed it !
I told her also that I was just in the process of finding myself, and that no radical decisions are made..
Which is the truth.
But the funniest thing of all!!!!!
She told me something.
She said..:
You know, I went to see in the last 2 years 2 different mediums ( tarot/reiki/visions) the first told me that I had to child.
Which was right, and then he said one boy and one girl... my mom replied.. welll, no... I have two sons.
The second one said, you have three childrens, 2 boys and one girl..
Well well,...
That is what my mom told me (in part) last day...
It was awsome to find out how much open she is !
now I feel 100% or... maybe 98% free to investigate myself further without emotional pressure..
Et voilà mes jolies !
I just wanted to share this with you...
Maybe even it will speak to someone and help him/her
I am just at the start of my jurney... but I have the fealling that I ride in full truttle !!!;)
hehe
xx
Nikita ( wich is the name I try to get used to ;) )
>:-)
Sorry Girls and Boys !
I must post this pic !!!! :D
This is my new shoes !!!! I love them sooo much ! hehe :D
But .. I kow, I won't wear them often... except on party occasions..
but don't they look sexy !! >:-) :P heheh !!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1031.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy378%2Finazuma85%2Fshoeniki_zps3a14272a.jpg&hash=9b38e5659d9af2426917a6b9416611a55c2a75ff)
In the same way of thought..
The amaizing ( and so beautiful ) girl friend of my roomate, Will teach me to make make up !!!
Yeah !! hehe !
It's so great!
.... waw... IU can't believe I am so surrounded by such open people... I'am so lucky..
But has you know all, the jurney is personal, and thats where the biggests difficulties lies...
My next fight is against Me !
( P.S. one of my fav. bands of all : against me !!!! )
::)
>:-)
:-*
Grats on a great mom.
You are really lucky for having such an understanding mother. I wish there were more parents like her.
Those shoes are badass :P