My experience with cd-ing is hard to for me to explain. I felt inexplicably compelled to do it, but also felt a mountain of guilt, shame, and mental anguish when I did it. Normal guys aren't supposed to want to wear female clothing. I felt like a freak and a pervert. What was I thinking? What the hell was wrong with me? Yes, I've purged countless times thru the years and at age 59 now, I've basically given up, and feel like a complete fool when I think about dressing up. I desperately wanted to, but I never did feel like I made an attractive woman. I was a man in a dress. I grew to loathe the thought of cd-ing, and I haven't actively cd-ed for quite awhile now. Do I still read online cd forums? Yes. Do I still think about wearing female clothes, and what "might have been"? Yes...OFTEN. Am I Transgender? Who knows? I probably am.
Confusion? Definitely. Deep dark depression? I've been there a time or two.
I don't have all the answers. Come to think of it...I probably don't have any...and most likely never will. I heard this once...
Never underestimate the pain of a person because the truth is everyone is struggling. It's just that some people hide it better than others. Maybe that's true? Although, I'm not sure hiding it is the most healthy approach.
Hi Jordan, welcome to Susan's.
sometimes answers avoid us because we ask the wrong questions. Nothing wrong with being comfortable, wear what you want. You are certainly not the only one. The question should be, "What do I do next to be me?"
Quote from: JordanBlue on November 12, 2013, 03:11:24 PM
My experience with cd-ing is hard to for me to explain. I felt inexplicably compelled to do it, but also felt a mountain of guilt, shame, and mental anguish when I did it....I don't have all the answers.
Hi there Jordan! :D
I think your feelings of confusion regarding cross-dressing are both commonplace and normal. Those impulses don't make you strange they mean you are willing to acknowledge your desires-something many people cannot face. I'm glad you've joined Susans and I'm sure you'll meet lots of people here that have had similar experiences.
Best of luck to you with everything!
::Hugs::
Hi Jordan :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here
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Hugs
V M
Hi Jordan, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I identify as a crossdresser. You'll find the questions you asked are all over these boards like a rash. So what's the answer? Figure out exactly who you are, accept yourself as that, and go on living happily ever after. The first two are the hard ones! :laugh: See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Hi Jordan. I've come to accept my feminine side and I hope you do too. Know that you're not alone. Hugs and friendship coming your way!