I had given up my trans journey because I was tired of self medicating and there were no people in my area (no car) who would prescribe hormones (I also have a letter, as of a week ago). I stopped taking my pills for almost 2 months. The dysphoria comes back and I realize I can't turn back, not with how far I've come. I started taking my hormones again. I go to my pdoc (for bipolar, she knows i'm trans) and she said she'd ask the campus health services if they do hormones for trans people. She messaged me that day saying no, not yet, but might next semester. The day before, however, I sent an email of my own to them. They said yes, they do have doctors who will do it. I emailed back for confirmation because they say yes but my pdoc said they don't. Next email said yes, they in fact do it. So first thing monday i'm going to make an appointment.
I feel like everything is falling into place. When I decided to stop hormones and "be gay" (gay boyfriend) because I wanted to go legitimate but wasn't able to, I cut my hair. It wasn't long at the time, maybe 3-4 inches. I got higher on the top, shorter on the sides. I got another haircut a few weeks later, kept the top longer, cut the sides again, but shorter than the first. Last night I saw two people I haven't seen in a long time, 13 months and 8 months. One said she had a hard time recognizing me (couldn't tell if it was me or not, she said she kept looking over trying to figure out if it was me or not), that I look really different (still in 100% guy mode). The other said "holy ->-bleeped-<-, you look different" (neither know i'm trans). I looked in the mirror today and I basically saw an "almost lesbian".
I don't know where this comes from, especially having been off hormones for 2 months. All I can say right now is the future is brighter than it's been since I first started taking hormones in march 2012. ;D
edited self-medding reference
This IS great news!! ;D So happy for you that things are looking bright!! We all have our ups and downs, but with hope and a little luck/persistence things can turn around for the better. It sounds like that's happening for you. I hope you do end up getting a prescription soon!
-Jess-
this is great news :) it never seems to go away until we deal with it
SunAndMoon, I am glad to hear you were able to get medications through your campus health services.
You might want to get some baseline blood work before resuming HRT.