So the "preferred name (if other than first name)" field on the application was apparently useless, and they put my first name on my tag. But I'm frequently read as male anyway. This is blowing my mind. I was sure I'd be perceived as a flat-chested girl (ultimately decided to bind despite it being such a physical job, modified my binder a bit and it hasn't given me trouble but still works).
It seems if somebody doesn't see my tag, they read me as male. I get called man, boy, guy, he. One guy called me buddy.
People who have seen my tag do this funny little double-take. Look at me, glance at tag, look back at me, look harder at tag.
I'm not so self-conscious about my small build now, either. There's several men at work about my size. One is even smaller. Here I've been worried that even once I can get on T, I might not be read as male. Maybe the real difference it'll make is being perceived as an adult male (one guy at work did ask how old I am, and called "Bull----!" when I answered).
Funny story, one day a woman at work referred to "us" being "women", but the next day comes up and asks, "Can I get your name, sir?" Guess she didn't remember me from the day before.
It's probably only a matter of time before everybody there knows my first name, but while it lasts, it's surprising how much of a relief it is to not be mis-gendered.
You should check your companies policies. They might have one regarding gender expression.
Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on November 17, 2013, 10:38:46 PM
You should check your companies policies. They might have one regarding gender expression.
Thanks. I didn't think to do that.
Unfortunately it doesn't look like their policies mention gender at all.
Is your manager aware and sympathetic?
--Jay
Quote from: blink on November 17, 2013, 10:23:05 PM
So the "preferred name (if other than first name)" field on the application was apparently useless, and they put my first name on my tag. But I'm frequently read as male anyway. This is blowing my mind. I was sure I'd be perceived as a flat-chested girl (ultimately decided to bind despite it being such a physical job, modified my binder a bit and it hasn't given me trouble but still works).
It seems if somebody doesn't see my tag, they read me as male. I get called man, boy, guy, he. One guy called me buddy.
People who have seen my tag do this funny little double-take. Look at me, glance at tag, look back at me, look harder at tag.
I'm not so self-conscious about my small build now, either. There's several men at work about my size. One is even smaller. Here I've been worried that even once I can get on T, I might not be read as male. Maybe the real difference it'll make is being perceived as an adult male (one guy at work did ask how old I am, and called "Bull----!" when I answered).
Funny story, one day a woman at work referred to "us" being "women", but the next day comes up and asks, "Can I get your name, sir?" Guess she didn't remember me from the day before.
It's probably only a matter of time before everybody there knows my first name, but while it lasts, it's surprising how much of a relief it is to not be mis-gendered.
Honestly man I worked at a place for almost a year with my name tag reading as *Shante* ( before I got it changed to Shawn) and I got read mostly as male. In a small close-minded town. I think it might come down to "A boy named Sue" ...lol i hope you know that song. If not then google. People know that you have no choice in your own name and if you are presenting as male all the sirens go off in their heads saying ITS A BOY ITS A BOY no matter how feminine your name may seem. Go to your manager and say you want to use ________ name because that's what everyone at home/school calls you or something along the lines. I don't see them having a problem with that hopefully. And be proud that you can pass even with a feminine name because that is really hard to do.
Quote from: aleon515 on November 18, 2013, 11:20:51 AM
Is your manager aware and sympathetic?
--Jay
No, I haven't said anything to them about wanting to be called a different name. And definitely haven't said anything about being trans. I need the money for surgery and am afraid to make any waves. This job has a high turnover rate anyway, not sure if that works in my favor or against me, regarding whether they'd want to fire me for a thing like, "Hey, I hate my first name and absolutely nobody calls me this outside of work, can I get a nickname on my tag instead".
thatboyfresh: Well, they read me as male until they see the tag, or hear my name from someone else. I have heard of that song, yeah.
I am pleased that I get treated as a guy as long as they don't know my legal name, though. That's why I posted, wanted to share the good news.
Sorry! I miss read your post.
This place sounda familiar. But congrats on passing. I would personally ask to get my name on the tag changed, tell them you wrote it on the application and its what you go by. There might be laws protecting you, so they may not be able to say no or fire you. I'm sure they wouldn't.
Sounds familiar, huh? Maybe you've worked at one of these places too. And thanks.
I asked today about the preferred name thing. They said one guy just wrote his name on a piece of paper and taped it to the tag, making sure not to cover anything other than the first name, and nobody's told him not to do that yet. So, I've "fixed" my nametag, now that I'm home. It's not actually my preferred name (well, preferred to my first name, ha) but an androgynous shortening of my middle name. It works for now.
Turning the nametag around seems to have done the trick anyway, somebody called me Mr. (lastname) today. How they knew my last name but not first is beyond me, but hey, awesome.
As people who already knew my first name turn up I'm dealing with that, too. "By the way, it's ____" seems to be all that's necessary.