I have been at my own version of transition or what ever it is I am doing for a very long time. My first trip in public dressed up was probably more than 20 years ago. But I have always avoided the bathrooms. Which wasn't always easy. There were times I cut short my outing because I just couldn't hold it any more. I couldn't use the men's room and I was just afraid of getting made in the ladies room and having it become a big scene. But last week after dinner and a few drinks I got up and walked straight into the ladies room. When I got back to my table I was relieved in more ways than one. But I was excited too. It was one more little monkey off my back. And as these things seem to go...it was very uneventful. Another woman came in while I was in there. There wasn't a problem or a big scene.
I always wonder why I make such a big deal out of these things.
I've found, for myself, it's like my "first time" everytime I go into a new lady's room...
Awesome girl! Good to hear you had a nice trip, can't wait till i have mine, one day.
QuoteI always wonder why I make such a big deal out of these things.
Because knowing it could happen creates fear. Fear is sometimes a good thing, well almost always. It may have you avoiding things but sometimes it just leads you to be more aware of your surroundings.
*hug* Congratulations... now for more firsts... like the first time you get asked if you have an extra tampon in the women's bathroom... :)
I've gone into the women's room several time, and not once has some kind of security alarm gone off, nor has anyone turned pale and pointed before shrieking "Intruder!". Somehow, despite how ridiculous those things sound, I kind of expect them. I know I don't pass that well yet, but even a girl with a terrible chronic hormone condition has to pee, right? And when I'm dressed properly, the men's room is NOT an option.
Odd how such a common human thing can become a rite of passage. Welcome to the Sisterhood of the Powder Room! :)
Pardon me, but this
Quote*hug* Congratulations... now for more firsts... like the first time you get asked if you have an extra tampon in the women's bathroom... :)
has never happened in my life as a pretend girl.
Does it really happen? I would be mortified.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 22, 2013, 03:55:40 PM
Pardon me, but this has never happened in my life as a pretend girl.
Does it really happen? I would be mortified.
Yes, it has... I guess it depends on who you are with and their level of comfort talking to strangers. Probably also on how drunk they are at the time. ;)
To us girls, though, it can be an awesome "you know you pass when" kind of thing. :)
Quote from: Robin Mack on November 22, 2013, 03:28:10 PM*hug* Congratulations... now for more firsts... like the first time you get asked if you have an extra tampon in the women's bathroom... :)
I'm glad that it was only someone asking me if my hair was naturally curly :D
In all seriousness, my first trip to a women's bathroom since I was 6 and stopped being taken in with mom whenever I had to go was only about a month ago, and it was fantastic to actually have a clean bathroom to do your business in and get out, and maybe powder your nose and reapply lipstick too. I've only been in one unclean women's room since, and the men's room right near it was worse, being in the basement of a building, it was understandable.
Oddly, I've seen more messes in women's rooms than men's. Although I will admit that women's are generally better decorated. ;)
It's mainly gas stations and other very public restrooms that are worse on the women's side. Hovering is an important skill.
Quote from: Robin Mack on November 22, 2013, 04:11:31 PMOddly, I've seen more messes in women's rooms than men's. Although I will admit that women's are generally better decorated. ;)
It's mainly gas stations and other very public restrooms that are worse on the women's side. Hovering is an important skill.
The Union here has a large lounge as part of the 1st floor ladie's room, while the men's has no cell service, and the wifi doesn't reach that far out.
I can't wait to try it out.
Congratulation Julie on a first! :) Really proud of you! :)
That's now my next step . . .
Congrats, hon!
Thinking back to my original tilt at transition I can't even remember the first time I used the "Ladies", I'm sure it wasn't a non-momentous occasion and I can certainly remember a few instances, just not the very first time. Back then the two things that stressed me out the most was a fear of having another woman start up a random conversation with me and, believe it or not, not being able to make "that sound" - y'know, the very distinct sound women make when they pee. :icon_rolleyes2:
Well done you. Big moment. Transition is full of them and you conquered one! :-)
Quote from: JulieC. on November 22, 2013, 09:24:30 AM
There wasn't a problem or a big scene.
I always wonder why I make such a big deal out of these things.
I do too, but probably because the first time I did I had one of those moments. It was a bit upsetting.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 22, 2013, 09:40:37 AM
I've found, for myself, it's like my "first time" everytime I go into a new lady's room...
I really feel this and I feel for you very much. For me, its like that too. In fact, in any loo. I hate loos. My biggest fear though is... duh duh duuuuuuuuurrrrr the changing room!
I feel sorry for my kids as we haven't gone swimming in ages because of that. We do what we can thought huh?
Huzzah for your triumph :-)
x
Quote from: Robin Mack on November 22, 2013, 03:28:10 PM
the men's room is NOT an option.
Yeah this is what I keep telling myself when thinking about this stuff. If I have to pee, and I'm dressed like a woman, there's just no way I'm walking into a men's room. That would be waaay worse than any consequence I could come up with in the women's room. But really, I don't expect anything to happen lol.
Grats Julie!
Julie, from your profile picture you look great. So it should not be a big deal any more. Just slow down & apply some lipstick before leaving & brush your hair maybe like any other nice looking woman.
My first and only time was at a starbucks. I had to pee and I looked around and no one was in the restaurant so I went for it. Turned out it was a single person installation so I had privacy. Afterward it seemed kind of anti-climactic.
I read a story from another MTF transitioner - she had one of her wife's old purses with her and it had some leftover panty liners in it. Sure enough she was using a stall and a lady in the next stall asked her if she had a spare liner and she remembered the ones in her purse. After I read that story I now carry a couple with me just in case I get a similar request some day. I might have to throw a tampon in there too.
First Ladies room was like first bra and panties
Women's restrooms are a different world . I was "Read " , only a good many years ago as we were in a ladies room in Fairfax Virginia . I was there with a couple of other "Gals " . the woman Glared at me as I was leaving . Of course I glared back. I leaned to mimic and socialize the same as any other woman does . I really don't think too much about it these days . ellen
Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 22, 2013, 07:05:03 PM
Julie, from your profile picture you look great. So it should not be a big deal any more. Just slow down & apply some lipstick before leaving & brush your hair maybe like any other nice looking woman.
Quote from: Eva Marie on November 22, 2013, 07:59:03 PM
I read a story from another MTF transitioner - she had one of her wife's old purses with her and it had some leftover panty liners in it. Sure enough she was using a stall and a lady in the next stall asked her if she had a spare liner and she remembered the ones in her purse. After I read that story I now carry a couple with me just in case I get a similar request some day. I might have to throw a tampon in there too.
Both
very good suggestions! Thanks girls!
I found that ladies restrooms were so much grosser than men's after I transitioned. I always assumed men would be the worst, but I was not prepared for how gross some public ladies rooms are.
Quote from: megan2929 on November 23, 2013, 09:01:24 PMI found that ladies restrooms were so much grosser than men's after I transitioned. I always assumed men would be the worst, but I was not prepared for how gross some public ladies rooms are.
I've always found that no matter how bad the ladie's is, that the respective men's will be worse.
I've seen womens rooms that were a disaster. Paper all over the stall, blood on the toilet, tampons hanging half way out of the trash can. Just vomit worthy. When I was a guy I could always bare the storm and use the nasty mens room, but sometimes the womens room is just way too much and I'll just choose to hold it.
Other girls drag me in there all the time. Its almost always cleaner than the mens, at least at my local bar. I've heard the horror stories though. Most places these days seem to be going to single person or unisex single person rest rooms. And TBH this does solve a ton of problems. Also, everyone in town knows i have a penis, so i just use the mens room most of the time. Also 3 out of the 4 last times i was in the girls room, there was a guy and girl in one of the stalls.(shrug, bars...) Far more awkward than me being in there.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 24, 2013, 02:39:56 PM
I've seen womens rooms that were a disaster. Paper all over the stall, blood on the toilet, tampons hanging half way out of the trash can. Just vomit worthy. When I was a guy I could always bare the storm and use the nasty mens room, but sometimes the womens room is just way too much and I'll just choose to hold it.
Fortunately that has never been my experience, otherwise I think I'd puke! And women always give guys a hard time about leaving the seat up and/or bad aim!?! ::)
I've seen ladies rooms where tampons were used to graffiti the walls. The gross factor can go both ways but the worse smells are usually mens.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 24, 2013, 04:26:08 PM
...but the worse smells are usually mens.
True, too true! :laugh:
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 24, 2013, 05:15:57 PM
True, too true! :laugh:
The problem with the mens room is the serious lack of aim. i certainly hope they dont own guns, and if they do, they get a few extra training courses lol.
When I took karate, the head sensei used to say that he shouldn't let the little boys go on to be yellow belts until they could aim properly. Maybe should have been applied to older boys too. :)
More wet floors in the men's rooms and poorer maintenance-- like doors without locks. But lots of wet seats in the women's rooms.
--Jay
When I lived with a guy I didn't care if he didn't drop the seat. That just means the seat is CLEAN.
Quote from: Eva Marie on November 22, 2013, 07:59:03 PMI might have to throw a tampon in there too.
The first rule of using public ladies rooms is to throw a handfull of tampons in your bag. I guess I thought everybody knew that. Some pantyliners wouldn't be a bad idea, either.
I was in Books A Million today and I had to go, so I walked over to the bathroom area and walked in to the ladies room, and was kind of happy to find that it was empty. So I quickly did what needed to be done, and then I stopped and redid my lipstick and left. :) It was fun though.
QuoteJulie, from your profile picture you look great. So it should not be a big deal any more. Just slow down & apply some lipstick before leaving & brush your hair maybe like any other nice looking woman.
Thank you Francisann, That's so sweet of you but the truth is I don't pass 100%. The camera was just kind to me that day.
QuoteI've seen womens rooms that were a disaster. Paper all over the stall, blood on the toilet, tampons hanging half way out of the trash can. Just vomit worthy.
I had no idea...thankfully this ladies room was very clean. The stalls had flowers painted on them. So now I have all these things to worry about the next time. A woman will ask me for a tampon. The place will be bloody and disgusting. And oh yeah I could get made. Hmmm. no wonder I waited so long.
Quote
I was in Books A Million today and I had to go, so I walked over to the bathroom area and walked in to the ladies room, and was kind of happy to find that it was empty. So I quickly did what needed to be done, and then I stopped and redid my lipstick and left. :) It was fun though.
Good for you!
I haven't visited the ladies' room yet. Right now when I'm out I present as androgynous, but for me it's basically anxiety.
The couple of times I've gone out presenting as myself, makeup and everything, it really was a surprising to approach the restroom area and have to stop and think of where to go! I had jeans and a cardigan/tank on and full makeup, and I panicked and ran into the men's restroom and got into a stall before anyone saw me. I sat down and just thought to myself, "I'm in the wrong place!" Even though I had gone into the men's room my whole life, it was the first time I felt that I was 100% in the wrong place, like I had snuck in or something. ...And I'm seriously not going to miss that stench I so often would find in the men's room... Oh gosh, sometimes mortifying. :P
I remember getting the guts to go shopping at Target for the first time presenting as female, and I walked right in covered head to toe in fear. I told myself that the only thing that'd make me stand out is looking scared, so I forced myself to be confident... And I got no raised eyebrows, no problems, no hassles, nothing! I felt silly to worry, and had a great time trying on clothes. From what I'm hearing from girls who use their appropriate restroom now, it sounds like my shopping fears are much like it, just fears and not very accurate predictions of how things always happen. I was surprised to find that I receive more smiles when I act and look like myself, and I bet most of that is because I actually look comfortable in my own skin. ;)
Quote from: Sophia Hawke on November 24, 2013, 07:36:17 PM
The problem with the mens room is the serious lack of aim. i certainly hope they dont own guns, and if they do, they get a few extra training courses lol.
Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard reading this! :laugh: