So im dressing now 2-4 days a week, depending on how often i actually leave my apartment, which isnt much lately. For a while, dressing helped alot with the dysphoria. Lately though, Im fine i feel alot better if i havent dressed for a couple days when i start dressing again. I'm great for like a day or two. Then its all back again, or worse dressing isnt helping at all.
I should note, dressing female was never really exciting to me, but felt more normal than anything. I really hardly leave my house now, unless i absolutely have to, if all i have is guy clothes to wear. I've only got 2-3 outfits(its cold out now, two of my bottoms are maxi-skirts, the other is tea length and its VERY windy and and fairly cold here this time of year. Right now is 30mph winds and 40 out.
Has anyone experienced this, and does it get better with HRT?
I got a similar kind of feeling after a good night out dressed. I didn't get out of bed until the late afternoon the next day, I was so depressed. I thought, that was the real me, now it's just back to him.
And I get your whole cold weather thing, I have only one outfit; I can't afford another right now. And it's also very hard for me to tuck (tried and failed many times, think it's because I'm too big pre-HRT) so pants are out of the question. I'm feeling pretty dysphoric since the last time I went out dressed was Wednesday night. I haven't done much but stay in my room, maybe bundle myself up to walk across the courtyard to get something to eat at the caf.
My advice; even if you do have to go out in male mode, do it with some girlfriends who know and are OK with it. I had a good time out with 2 MtF friends of mine yesterday, and I felt far more secure in myself than I would have had I gone out alone. Or Tuesday, I went to see a movie with a lesbian couple who are my friends. It felt a lot better, being there with others, who know why you do what you do and won't care.
Quote from: Willow on November 24, 2013, 01:49:57 PM
I got a similar kind of feeling after a good night out dressed. I didn't get out of bed until the late afternoon the next day, I was so depressed. I thought, that was the real me, now it's just back to him.
And I get your whole cold weather thing, I have only one outfit; I can't afford another right now. And it's also very hard for me to tuck (tried and failed many times, think it's because I'm too big pre-HRT) so pants are out of the question. I'm feeling pretty dysphoric since the last time I went out dressed was Wednesday night. I haven't done much but stay in my room, maybe bundle myself up to walk across the courtyard to get something to eat at the caf.
My advice; even if you do have to go out in male mode, do it with some girlfriends who know and are OK with it. I had a good time out with 2 MtF friends of mine yesterday, and I felt far more secure in myself than I would have had I gone out alone. Or Tuesday, I went to see a movie with a lesbian couple who are my friends. It felt a lot better, being there with others, who know why you do what you do and won't care.
Ive been hiding in my house since thurs. There is a gas station behind my apt, pretty much the furthest ive gone since then. I've been out quite a bit since i came out, but im really broke right now. Last time i went out, i for the most part had a really good time, i have several GG's i went and do goout with. However, last time i went out, I became physically aroused when i wasnt expecting it after looking at one of my friends(yeah i was kinda checking her out, but wasnt thinking about her that way, honestly i check everyone out). Anyways, i wasnt expecting the physical reaction since my mind was there at all, and it brought on horrid dysphoria as well as being incredibly embarrassed. Nobody noticed, but the next two days after that, i was an emotional train wreck about it all. Feeling a bit better today, esp thanks to support on susans. But, i cant be going out and freaking out, that just wont work.
I wear a padded girdle that hides me without tucking as well as enhances my figure and then a corset above it that does wonders for both my shape and posture.
Ill tell you what though, when i get dressed up in girl clothes, i sure as hell dont want to take them off, but theres no way i can sleep with that much on. Maybe when i get some more stuff. I think some friends and relatives are going to hook me up with some hand me downs soon since im out of cash for stuff.
Quote from: Sophia Hawke on November 24, 2013, 11:56:39 AM
Has anyone experienced this, and does it get better with HRT?
HRT will change your body (obviously) but also shifts your perception of yourself and changes your moods, etc. As to whether that will help with your dysphoria I can't say; for some it does, others it doesn't, usually it's a mix of both alternating depending on your overall mood. HRT will definitely deal with arousal though.
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 24, 2013, 02:06:32 PM
HRT will change your body (obviously) but also shifts your perception of yourself and changes your moods, etc. As to whether that will help with your dysphoria I can't say; for some it does, others it doesn't, usually it's a mix of both alternating depending on your overall mood. HRT will definitely deal with arousal though.
Yeah, right now i want a T blocker far more than estrogen, FAR FAR more than estrogen.
Quote from: Sophia Hawke on November 24, 2013, 02:02:41 PM
Ive been hiding in my house since thurs. There is a gas station behind my apt, pretty much the furthest ive gone since then. I've been out quite a bit since i came out, but im really broke right now. Last time i went out, i for the most part had a really good time, i have several GG's i went and do goout with. However, last time i went out, I became physically aroused when i wasnt expecting it after looking at one of my friends(yeah i was kinda checking her out, but wasnt thinking about her that way, honestly i check everyone out). Anyways, i wasnt expecting the physical reaction since my mind was there at all, and it brought on horrid dysphoria as well as being incredibly embarrassed. Nobody noticed, but the next two days after that, i was an emotional train wreck about it all. Feeling a bit better today, esp thanks to support on susans. But, i cant be going out and freaking out, that just wont work.
I wear a padded girdle that hides me without tucking as well as enhances my figure and then a corset above it that does wonders for both my shape and posture.
Ill tell you what though, when i get dressed up in girl clothes, i sure as hell dont want to take them off, but theres no way i can sleep with that much on. Maybe when i get some more stuff. I think some friends and relatives are going to hook me up with some hand me downs soon since im out of cash for stuff.
I'm really sad for you. I wish I could do something to help.
Ow, I think it's be similar for me. I feel your pain.
Dang, where can I get one of those? Sounds like a pretry sweet thing to have in your closet.
It's the same with me, except that I did sleep in my girl clothes and makeup once. I don't reccomend sleeping in a dress and makeup.
Hand me downs and thrift stores are your friends.
Quote from: Willow on November 24, 2013, 02:24:44 PM
I'm really sad for you. I wish I could do something to help.
Ow, I think it's be similar for me. I feel your pain.
Dang, where can I get one of those? Sounds like a pretry sweet thing to have in your closet.
It's the same with me, except that I did sleep in my girl clothes and makeup once. I don't reccomend sleeping in a dress and makeup.
Hand me downs and thrift stores are your friends.
If i drink when im out, i wake up with makeup smeared everywhere on my face. Some of my GG friends seem to do the same thing too lol. Thankfully my lipstick comes off on glasses in no time, hate to have to get that out of my pillow case.
I got both the corset and padded girdle at glamourbotique.com they have breastforms and other stuff for transwomen too. Never got breastforms cause it only takes a sock and a half to fill a C pre-hrt lol.