I know there are a lot of MTFs that were already feminine before, or at least had an androgynous look...but this question is mainly for those who were passing as males, that couldn't be misgendered, that were definately males.
What was the first thing you changed on your body and or on your wardrobe after starting to transition?
I let my hair grow (one year without cutting it and it is finaly getting a good lenght) and I think this was the first noticeable thing. Some people think I am into rock'n roll (hmm yes I am, but this is not the reason I allowed my hair to grow). I also plucked a bit of my eyebrows (just a bit, no one really noticed as I already had thinner eyebrows than most men), I trimmed my arm hair and completely shaved some hair I had on my hands, I now make a vey close shave everyday and I try to hide my beard shadow with a bit of make-up (totally noob with make-up) and I traded my glasses for contact lens so my eyes look way bigger (and more feminine) than before.
I am also dressing more androgynously, wearing only unisex T shirts, jeans and sports shoes (here I call it tennis, I don't know if this is the correct name out here).
But I am curious and I really would like to hear from all my sisters :)
I already had long hair when I was younger, that I'd cut off to be more manly. I started growing that back and I really started shaving all over, like you - especially my legs, but also hairy knuckles and forearms. I suppose I was always a bit feminine so it was a bit more of stopping trying to fit in (Stop trying to grow a beard, for instance)
When I look back at those pictures of me at 21 with two feet of hair it annoys me. My hair was GORGEOUS! :p
To answer this question would mean knowing when I started to transition... and that's really unclear.
Did my transition start when I started to lose weight, knowing I may go down this path? Or when I first came out to friends / family? Or from the first appointment for referral? Or from the first day of HRT? Realistically there was no decision to transition because it was inevitable, and not a real choice.
So assuming I've been transitioning all my life ( interesting to think this way )... the first body change was shaving arms and legs. Hate body hair so much.
Oh... I still remember the first day I went outside in womens jeans... They're basically the same... nobody would pick it. Anyway, girl did my face turn red walking past that first random Joe. Pretty funny looking back at it. ;) Although the crippling anxiety wasn't all that fun.
The first thing i plan to do is grow out my nails and paint them, then hair and dresses! *swoons over pretty dresses*
Grew my fingernails. Began shaping them and putting enamel on every couple weeks.
Alas, I cut them a few weeks ago when I started going to lesbian meetups. One hears lesbians don't generally date women with long nails.
I think this has been my progression so far... I'm discounting any clothing I don't use on a daily basis (i.e. skirts, etc... that I wear in safe places like therapy & home).
0. Started growing hair (hey... that started before I came out -- I didn't get a haircut the day I came OOTC).
1. Came out... changed my diet (lost 45 lbs to date since Aug 5, 2013).
1b. Shaved just about everything... arms came last and most recently.
2. Laser Hair Removal (the most important thing to start early... I'd be entirely happy if I started a year earlier and it was practically finished by now -- it's the only thing preventing me from going out in public in a fully female presentation)
3. Panties (one pair)
4. Panties (two pair)
4b. Painted toes. It goes in here somewhere...
5. Voice (I try to use a higher, more feminine voice everywhere... I use my high head voice w/ my kids, especially reading books to them)
6. Panties, Gaff, Panties (hey... a lot of experimentation was required to get to this point)
7. Shoes around the house and out in public sometimes (not at work) - I wear Tom's flats and they're very androgynous.
8. Cleaned up eyebrows.
9. Socks (everywhere - they're the same as men's, really... but the Champion logo is in pink, purple, and baby blue)
10. Tiny bit of shaping to the eyebrows (I'm trying to get them thinner and better shaped on a gradual basis.
11..... probably will be HRT ~ Starts December 26th. YAY!!!
As my hair gets longer, I also am trying to keep it in a fairly feminine style. I think this and my eyebrows is the main reason I get double-takes.
Somewhere in there I also added skinny jeans (men's) and boot cut (women's) ~ Levi's. This was more a response to losing weight than to being girly... but the skinny jeans really work well for androgynity. I got my first check-out wearing them (by a guy ... who either didn't notice my face, or who was gay).
Quote from: Xhianil on November 26, 2013, 02:31:45 PM
The first thing i plan to do is grow out my nails and paint them, then hair and dresses! *swoons over pretty dresses*
I want a pretty dress! I have two skirts... and will be wearing one tomorrow to therapy!!!!! ♥ ♥
I may need safety pins... I bought it early on and it was big for me *then*!!!
Quote from: kabit on November 26, 2013, 02:44:04 PM
I want a pretty dress! I have two skirts... and will be wearing one tomorrow to therapy!!!!! ♥ ♥
I may need safety pins... I bought it early on and it was big for me *then*!!!
Awesome, i can't wait till i can do this stuff, you are one lucky girl!
I started with the undergarments (i.e. panties, chamois, and hose) also started shaving my legs.
Quote from: Xhianil on November 26, 2013, 02:49:57 PM
Awesome, i can't wait till i can do this stuff, you are one lucky girl!
;D
It's so much fun... I just wish I didn't have to change there... but I couldn't possibly do it otherwise :'( ... yet...!!!
long hair, panties . nails, eyebrows and jeans.
Before I even came out to *myself* I began to shave my legs, chest, and armpits. I had always hated hair in those places, and it helped with what I didn't realize then was dysphoria.
Alas, by the time I came to my senses and started to accept myself as I really am, most of the hair on my head was totally, profoundly, irretrievably gone... but I was able to pluck my eyebrows. So that was number two. At about that time I also started to exfoliate and moisturize my face on a daily basis.
Then I started to keep my nails better trimmed and clean and file/buff/polish them (with clear nail polish during the week, colors on the weekend).
I acquired some wigs from a friend (and now finally bought one of my own now that I know my style better) which I wear now when going out until I become confident enough to go bald and beautiful.
And in the last month I have started electrolysis. Every two weeks is all I can afford at the moment, so it is slow going... but it is progress.
Oh, and a bit of body spray helps me feel more feminine when I come home from work. :)
Add to that frequent shopping trips in thrift stores to expand my wardrobe, and that's pretty much all that I'm doing (in order). :)
First thing i did was start shaving. It was either cuz of the denial or an attempt to pull off the manly look but i always had a beard or goatee. I swear the day i took the clippers to all of that my face lost 10 years instantly lol. Other then that i started shaving from the neck down and started changing my posture and the way i sit to match who i really am.
My first thing was shaving my legs. It was glorious and I was totally obsessed with them for a while. It still is super nice to have them smooth, I can barely remember what it was like to have hair on them.
The first thing I changed was wearing ladies undergarments, progressed to jeans, some t-shirts, shoes, and all the while growing out my hair.
My attitude!
I cannot remember anything specific. I did everything & anything that was feminine & felt good. Polish, shaving, panties, pierced ears in my early teens, etc.........
The first thing I did that was actually to alter my body was LHR. I did a lot of other stuff, like shaving and waxing and dressing up or wearing female clothes out, but to really make a permanent change, I got LHR as soon as I could afford it. That was my motivating force for like 2 years. First face, then arms and chest. Being rid of that was a huge relief. I had also started getting my hair cut in a more fashionable style and getting highlights and eventually getting very female cuts. I had pierced my ears and nose around the same time. These are things I felt were definitely female traits and were things that would get noticed. I went on a serious diet and lost 40 lbs. I built a very andro wardrobe and wore clothes that were in style but were closer to what girls I knew wore. All this was before HRT was even on the table.
I don't remember all the timing on everything, but I do remember feeling like LHR was the first serious step and like the first "major" event on my path.
I already had long hair, and I already carried a bag everywhere, so those don't count.
I shaved my chest. I never liked having a hairy chest to begin with. I also, bought a few skirts, though I don't get to wear them as often as I'd like.
An entire body shave when I was in my teens. I have always been dysphoric about extraneous hair. I didn't even know I could be TS back then. Throughout adulthood I always kept body hair in check.
It happened in stages, so I'll just give the timeline...
Early-to-mid Teens (Denial/repression phase):
-Grew my hair out a bit.
Late Teens (Nearing the end of the denial and repression phase):
-Grew my hair to shoulder-length.
-Occasionally wore hair-clips and bobby-pins.
-Pierced my ears.
-Experimented with eyeliner.
Early 20's (End of repression, beginning of acceptance):
-Bought some 'secret' girl clothes, dressed in drag/wore more make-up (sometimes).
-Came out to all my friends (past and present)
Mid-20's (Got stuck in a rut and stalled):
-Joined various games and virtual worlds and created female characters/avatars. Though in 'the real world' my transition was put on hold, I gained some social experiences online and started my first relationship identifying as trans.
-Bought a few girly/androgynous clothes for boy-mode.
-Bought a small light-blue 'travel-bag' that I used as a purse.
-Came out to my sisters.
26 (Got out of my rut and started seriously transitioning):
-'Feminized' some items, like cell-phone cover, tablet skin, deodorant, got some perfume, etc. etc.
-Came out to my parents.
-Found a therapist.
27 (Hittin' the fast-track. :) )
-Got my letter after 4-5 months.
-Found an endocrinologist that was willing to work with me.
-Got my prescriptions filled (E and P). Blood work done.
-First laser session.
-Second endo visit, upped my E dosage and added Spiro. Got new prescriptions filled.
-Had a big talk with my parents, which reaffirmed their support and has made me relax around them more and now I'm able to talk with them about what I'm going through.
-Submitted paperwork to expunge my (minor) criminal record.
-Filled out paperwork for a legal name change. Action on that is pending the results of my expunged record.
Roughly that order, and so many more changes ahead! :) But yeah, these are all changes I either naturally made or I had to muster up the courage and motivation to deal with and initiate. If anyone reading this is thinking about transitioning, know that it really takes a lot of willpower and commitment to get everything done! So worth it though!
Quote from: Ashey on November 27, 2013, 03:07:45 AM
Mid-20's (Got stuck in a rut and stalled):
-Joined various games and virtual worlds and created female characters/avatars. Though in 'the real world' my transition was put on hold, I gained some social experiences online and started my first relationship identifying as trans.
-Bought a few girly/androgynous clothes for boy-mode.
-Bought a small light-blue 'travel-bag' that I used as a purse.
-Came out to my sisters.
I joined Second Life back in 2008 and all my avatars were always females (Renata, Natalia and Anna). I spent a lot of time and money there... While on the game I learned who I really was and spent 4 years playing around 5 hours everyday (got really addicted to my new life)
I got three long relationships (all with men) and for a long time I could say I was really happy, feeling accomplished, realized. It was one of the best things that happened to me.
Unfortunately, I did not have the courage to tell my boyfriends I wasn't exactly a girl in the real world and my dreams were all smashed when they wanted to hear my voice, or to see pics of me
I cried for around one week after the end of my biggest love in SL...stayed with him for over 3 years...I think he was the only lover I had in all my life
I really miss being there, shopping, dancing, being myself. Luckly this game helped me to identify myself as a trans and to seek help. :)
Hair (unconsciously)
Mannerisms (deliberately)
Before starting transition, while I had already been shaving legs, chest and armpits for a couple of years, the first noticeable thing I changed was that I shaved off the beard I had been wearing for 20+ years. It was shortly after that when I came to realize this was a much bigger part of me than I had ever considered.
After months of research, soul searching and working through things with my wife, I began transition and also began to let go of concern over what people might think of the way I looked. It was then that I got my ears pierced, began shaving my arms and plucking my eyebrows. I had already begun to grow my hair out as well.
A year later I still present as male at work but look forward to the day when that just doesn't work any more.
Quote from: Embracing Eva on November 27, 2013, 07:41:50 AM
Before starting transition, while I had already been shaving legs, chest and armpits for a couple of years, the first noticeable thing I changed was that I shaved off the beard I had been wearing for 20+ years. It was shortly after that when I came to realize this was a much bigger part of me than I had ever considered.
My beard that I had for 20 years was the first open change. It was like crossing the threshhold, I was able to hide behind the beard all these years. It was my mask hiding all my female feelings. I knew once I shaved, I was making progress :eusa_dance:
Shaving my body was the first "alright, going to change" thing I did. Although I was putting my hair in a ponytail and wearing skirts for one to two years prior.
Shaving sucks however, and I can't seem to use razors anywhere but my face without extreme pain and cuts. Despite trying a bunch of different methods and recommendations. I use an electric razor right now, and have a consultation scheduled for electrolysis. But it's rather depressing to sit there running a hand over your beard.
Also first post.
My first change was getting rid of my facial hair. I've always had a beard. It feels good to have it gone though.
I already had waist-length hair, but the first official thing I did to mark the start of transition was pierce my ears. It's funny looking back, but it was such a HUGE deal at the time, and I was so afraid people would notice...
I've been considering that actually. Though, that too has been a fear of mine. Did people "notice"?
Started HRT right away, spent a small fortune on facial electrolysis and still have to shave though 50% of my facial hair is gone. Don't have any body hair other than crotch and armpits, lucked out there! Got my ears pierced and took them out for good a year later. Had an orchiectomy, lost 80 pounds and beat my body back into shape, had upper eyelid lift, neck lift, recently had love handles lipo-suctioned away for ever. Just dress androgynously and don't plan on taking it any further.
OK, lets's see... I grew my hair out (past my shoulders, then cut it short, then grew it again, and cut it shoulder length, and now I'm letting it grow again), lost/losing weight, shaved the hair off my body (used an epilator on my arms), plucked my brows, started wearing nail polish, transitioned all my socks and undies (yay!), and have been working more women's clothing in to my wardrobe... but nothing too girly yet... I have a very androgynous look. Both ears have been pierced for over 30+ years.
My next step will be laser hair removal on my face. I hope to start that next month. I have not started HRT yet, so that's up next too, and then I have to start saving for FFS. Once I do that I'll be able to start living full time... ;D
Maddie : If that was directed at me, no, actually, nobody noticed. Except my mom (and I'd taken the actual earrings out!), but mothers have superpowers. :)
Grew hair out in 1989-91, pierced ears and nose as well. I subconcsiously knew this was a manifestation of my GD, even back then.
20+ more years of denial, suppression, drugs, alcohol, depression and eventually becoming indifferent to living.
Felt like a woman ready to scream bloody murder, breakdown began Oct 2012
Came out to self, wife, ditched body hair Nov 2012
Therapy, new wardrobe Dec 2012
Laser beard removal, HRT Jan 2013
Dressed in public occasionally Feb 2013
Dressed in public regularly Mar 2013
Committed to full transition, went full time, came out to world Apr 2013
Electrolysis June 2013
Adjusted HRT doses July 2013
Hair highlights, Progesterone Nov 2013
2014- Cosmetic facial procedures, Legal name change, GRS Letter, GRS (I hope!)
Quote from: Joules on November 27, 2013, 01:13:34 PM
I got mine pierced recently, still looking mostly male. It seemed like people were noticing but I believe it was more my imagination than them really noticing a great deal.
I prefer to think of the time, before I was even out to myself, how I felt when I saw a male presentation with pierced ears. If it was an otherwise masculine person, I'd just think he was playing pirate, goth, punk or something, especially with other piercings or tattoos. If it was an effeminate male, I would think "he's probably gay." Mostly though, it was a brief thought and I never dwelt on them.
Maybe because I'm a musician, and run with a different crowd (lol), but I figured these days that lots of men have at least one ear pierced? I don't think people bat an eye about that anymore. Not around these parts anyway.
But, I guess as you said, I was/am also a punk/goth and some times pirate. No, just kidding about the pirate part. Maybe. Arrrr. Only one tattoo however.
You know the old thing was if your right ear was pierced you were gay. The left ear and you were straight. Really stupid, but that's what people said. I remember when I got he right one done (thus making them both pierced) a few people asked if I was gay. I said, no, but I'm happy, and have more earrings than holes. ;)
And, maybe surprisingly, I only had two people ask me why I was wearing nail polish. One woman at a biker club gig said her son was a guitarist and paints his nails black, and didn't give her an answer why, but that it there was a technical reason. lol I told her it's because I like the way it looks, and it has nothing to do with playing. It's a fashion thing.
Six months after starting HRT, I finally shaved the beard (about a year ago).
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1353.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq663%2Fkathybottoms%2F1_zpsc5615cdb.jpg&hash=85be43890853dd9d0d13d104600d8bbf05ae8895) (http://s1353.photobucket.com/user/kathybottoms/media/1_zpsc5615cdb.jpg.html)
Uh, the first thing I did was actually low dose HRT. That was my "I'm not transgender, I just don't like testosterone" phase. Then I started removing my body hair religiously because I just couldn't stand to look at it anymore. That was my "I'm seriously not transgender, I just don't like being hairy" phase. That lasted for a while, but eventually I asked myself the question "Why am I doing this?", and when the best answer I could come up with was "Okay, maybe I do want to be a girl, but that doesn't make me transgender... right?", yea, it was time to quit the denial. So now I'm in the process of buying a more feminine wardrobe, growing my hair out, working on my voice, looking into full dose HRT/an orchiectomy, etc. Everything is sort of happening at once now, so it's hard to keep the order straight. ;)
Hair was first - from three months before therapy to a week ago, I never cut it.
Face hair was second - November 2012 to November 2013 (and some electro to go).
Hormone changes followed, and gradually clothes and mannerisms and voice.
Got on HRT right away, grew hair out and got my ears pierced, had an orchiectomy, that was the first time before the de-transition. >:(
De-transition???
Quote from: RavenMoon on December 19, 2013, 04:32:28 PM
De-transition???
Went off the deep end for two years more PTSD related to my Vietnam War experiences, sometimes the nicest people's lives turn to sh*t for no apparent reasons. Nuff said bout that!
Quote from: Shantel on December 19, 2013, 05:01:23 PM
Went off the deep end for two years more PTSD related to my Vietnam War experiences, sometimes the nicest people's lives turn to sh*t for no apparent reasons. Nuff said bout that!
Yes indeed! Hope you are feeling better now.
I decided to let my hair grow out. It was already getting pretty long for a guy, at least the top was. I usually trimmed the sides, but now I don't plan on cutting it until it's a good length to get it styled.
Quote from: RavenMoon on December 19, 2013, 06:04:59 PM
Yes indeed! Hope you are feeling better now.
Oh yeah, that was several years ago, thanks!
Me too first thing was the hair,,,
then some make up and feminine jewelry...
The first things I did when I started hrt
I started growing my hair long.. Went for about a year without cutting it.. It grew half way down my back. Now I trim my hair.. And keep it just below my shoulder blades.
I also got my second holes pierced in my ears
I already shaved my legs before hrt, but the start of hrt meant I started keeping them shaved. The same with my arm pits. I did laser to my chest and face prior to hrt.
And also started wearing ladies underwear all the time.
My hair was already long, and even though I'm still figuring me out, I would say the first thing was shaving my beard off. Hadn't done that in 4+ years and I cried (happy tears) when I saw myself.
The first evident thing was my name. Clothes I never changed, acting like me I never changed no matter how much strife it caused.
The first thing for me was getting my ears pierced. After that removing all body hair, shaping brows and wearing nail polish. Female fit clothes slowly replacing my regular wardrobe.
Further steps require more thought since they will start to affect my relationship. I'd love to grow my hair out but probably need a transplant :( Beard removal and HRT would be next on my list, maybe FFS.
Still a long way to go!
My mind after that it was obvious.
nailpolish a skirt, and a cute top. my hair was long already