Hey everyone,
Since my last thread a week ago was a bit pessimistic, I wanted to share some recent positive developments that have occurred. As some may know, I am currently working a temp job and struggling to get by. Well, I decided to talk to my boss and see where I stood in my place of employment. Apparently, there is a full time position opening up and they are interested in having me fill the slot. It's okay with my office manager who makes the hiring decisions, but she has to get approval from hr. Therefore, as long as hr approves my transfer, I should now have stable employment and access to benefits through my employer. I may have to wait a little and may be off for a few weeks until that happens, but I'm confident that it will come through in time. Even though I won't be making a whole lot and will remain the broke person that I currently am (lol), I will have a full time job in a stable environment. At this point in time, I couldn't be looking for anything more perfect than that and am grateful to everyone who has helped me get that far (including many here on this board- my little journals have gotten me through a lot). A step in the right direction is a step forward. And the best part about this is that the work environment could not be any more supportive. When I talked to my employer about my transgender status, she said "that would never be an issue for me". She's known about it for a long time (even before I was hired as a temp), but this is the first time we spoke about it. So, it feels really good to know that my employer is supportive and understanding about my transition. While I was really paranoid about that, it turned out to be nothing in reality. On top of that, I came out to another co-worker and she was really excited and happy about it. She could not have been more understanding and supportive. It's almost surreal because I thought everyone would hate and despise me. In reality, everyone seemed totally fine. And the one I came out to wasn't even really shocked when I said it. I can't say how good of a feeling that is.
On the family front, things are still tough, but there have been positive developments in that realm as well. My sister has decided to convert to Islam and she is in a serious relationship with a devout muslim. While I myself am not religious, I am tolerate of people from all or any faith. My only concern is how one practices their religion and how that effects their day to day interactions with others from different backgrounds. Now, my sister's boyfriend is a very nice man, but tends to have more conservative leanings. Nothing is wrong with that; however, it made me worried about how he would react to me since I am transgender. Last night at thanksgiving was my first in-depth interaction with him since he has discovered that I am trans. While I know that doesn't agree with the lgbt lifestyle and thinks my transition isn't natural, he was incredibily nice to me and never once said anything about it. In fact, he treated me no differently than he did before. This made me feel really good because I want anyone that my sister may happen to one day marry to like me or at the very least tolerate me. It would really hurt for my decision to transition to effect anyone's relationship or cause a wedge in our family. I've seriously been worrying about the possibility that I wouldn't be able to interact with my sister if she were to marry him and raise a family. However, it appears that my lgbt status isn't really an issue for my sister or her boyfriend, despite the fact that he is morally opposed to my decision. There are still other family issues, but things seem to be better in this one area at least and I don't feel like I have to worry about losing my sister if she were to further her relationship and fully convert to Islam.
Just wanted to share some positive developments. We all good through good and bad times, so it's important that we are equally open about both to avoid any distortions of what transitioning can be like. It's not all negative all the time. :)
so very happy for you. great news.
Great news sis!! :) Hope everything keeps going well for you.
Yay for good news updates! You hit it right on the head, a step in the right direction is a step forward. Hugs, Devlyn
That is great news! Hopefully your hr approves quickly.
Lovely, I'm so happy for you :) :) :)
That's great to hear LTL! :D
Very great news all around LTL. I am very happy for you
Very cool, LTL - i am happy for you!
Likewise. I sure hope everything works out OK. I know you are trying hard & surely they will be glad to have you as a quality sincere employee.
Glad things seem to be going in the right direction.
that is totally wonderful news sistah, I am so very happy for you
Jerri
Thanks everyone for all the nice feedback! I just feel it is my responsibility to report some of the good things that happen as well as the bad. There are many people here who read our experiences and try to learn what transitioning is like, so I do my best to expose both the positive and negatives in hopes that it helps someone out there (I know these things helped me in the past). Also, it helps me to get all of my feelings off my chest in a safe setting. :)
Oddly enough, I thought everyone would universally hate me when I came out. Yet, the opposite has been occurring. Yes, my immediate family is tough, but everyone else (so far) has been fairly accepting or at least tolerant when they have learned about me. I just never expected that. I imagined that I would get verbal criticism and hostility from everyone which seems to be a negative fantasy I developed. And my family will come around in time. I'll make it work because I love them and want them to accept me for who I really am and not what they envision I should be. They are good people, so I trust that things will come together. Besides things could have gone much worse than they have so far and they have done their best to tolerate everything to a degree (though it's hard). In any event, I now have faith that I will maintain my family and will have the ability to one day be my true self around them (and that's really nice to feel). Both of my sisters, while in different mindsets, have seemed to tolerate my transition so far. And my mom loves me with everything she has, so I know that she will one day come to accept me from who I am.
To be honest, I'm amazed that I even found the strength to make it as far as I have (which admittedly is still not too far). Still, things seem to be working out and I'm shocked. Perhaps I need more faith in myself? And maybe I just have developed such a negative view of what being transgender means that it made me fear telling anyone or even revealing myself to any meaningful extent. Maybe it isn't bad to be me after all? Maybe I'm not such a bad person and it's okay to like myself for who I am? I guess it's time to stop being afraid of the world and time to start living in it as the real me with confidence. Now, I just need to start working harder on passing and praying that the hormones will keep working so that can actually happen one day, lol. ;) :D
P.S. Don't you just love my typos and wonderful grammar! ;)