I finally came out to my best "bud" from HS the other day. He emailed my old email address and I saw it completely by chance. He is 2600 miles away and had no idea about my transition. It went very well, we ended up talking for 90mins. He asked me all the usual questions and told me about his newborn daughter. I have been off of the radar to my HS friends for about a year and a half (when I deleted my old Facebook account). Nobody has seen me for 2 years.
Anyway something happened that left me extremely excited (besides the fact that he supports me!)... We are going to get all of our other friends together and not tell them at all who I am. My best friend even mentioned wanting to videotape their reactions and I promised not to stop him ;) None of my HS friends are violent or lgbtq-phobic type though so I'm not worried about upsetting anyone. My hope is to try to pass as long as possible and then start making subtle hints until they get it, if I don't burst out into laughter first.
Has anyone else done anything similar? Or what were your experiences coming out to old friends in a surprising way during or post-transition? What were their reactions? I'm sure there are some great ones :)
Well, there is a long road ahead of me, I am just starting. But this is one of my fantasies/dreams, to play this prank on my friends some day ;D Like, look what I have done to myself! Dare to do the same!? ;D Dreams... they keep me going, they keep me warm in these winter days.
Sounds like an entertaining evening you've got planned there!
Quote from: Jennygirl on November 30, 2013, 07:10:06 PM
Has anyone else done anything similar? Or what were your experiences coming out to old friends in a surprising way during or post-transition? What were their reactions? I'm sure there are some great ones :)
I actually went for a few cocktails with some peeps from work on Friday, we met up with some guys that worked as contractors in my department when it was first starting up.
Anyway, it was about 30-40 minutes in before one of them asked me what I did - needless to say I had a little bit of fun pulling the "I can't believe you don't remember me" and "I used to sit at the same bank of desks as you, you simply MUST remember me!". After about 10 minutes I pulled out a before pic from my phone and couldn't help but giggle at the expression on his face as he looked back and forth between the phone and me! :)
I also recently saw a post on FB from someone else that I knew and sent him a friend request - even though he said he remembered me it doesn't seem like it from his language and he hasn't said anything about my transition. Anyway he's been sending PMs that would be considered flirty (at one point he called me "my desert orchid"!), haven't figured out how to break the news to him yet!!
Quote from: Jennygirl on November 30, 2013, 07:10:06 PM
Anyway something happened that left me extremely excited (besides the fact that he supports me!)... We are going to get all of our other friends together and not tell them at all who I am. My best friend even mentioned wanting to videotape their reactions and I promised not to stop him ;) None of my HS friends are violent or lgbtq-phobic type though so I'm not worried about upsetting anyone. My hope is to try to pass as long as possible and then start making subtle hints until they get it, if I don't burst out into laughter first.
This sounds like a lot of fun. If that's you in your avatar. I'm pretty sure they'll be astounded. ;)
It does sound fun :D I think I've ruined my chances of having this work well, though... I'm starting to be identifiable as queer on my FB (based on likes, comments, etc)... though you never know!!
I did this to my old CS professor. It didn't go well, though - he looked like be was about to cry once he recognized me. I felt awful and escaped as fast as I could. :(
Quote from: ZoeM on December 05, 2013, 11:30:49 AM
I did this to my old CS professor. It didn't go well, though - he looked like be was about to cry once he recognized me. I felt awful and escaped as fast as I could. :(
woe....
I messaged my best friend from when I was lil, and she just wasn't surprised lol. Then the few people I've talked to from high school didn't seem shocked or anything. Maybe a bit curious, but certainly accepting and just, not really surprised. My 10 year high school reunion should be next year. I'd love to be able to go to that. xD
It's great to have some time to plan something like that but I wonder how common it is to bump into people who we haven't seen for years and know nothing about our transition...either in the street, at a party or even through more formal settings like work. Depending on the person I might try to avoid them if I could but even if it was someone I liked it could get dicey especially if the situation isn't all that conducive to an outing.
Quote from: Kaylee on December 05, 2013, 10:30:53 AM
I also recently saw a post on FB from someone else that I knew and sent him a friend request - even though he said he remembered me it doesn't seem like it from his language and he hasn't said anything about my transition. Anyway he's been sending PMs that would be considered flirty (at one point he called me "my desert orchid"!), haven't figured out how to break the news to him yet!!
Wow. That's gonna be awkward! :laugh:
Serves him right for lying!
This is kind of interesting concept for me, coming out after you transition. I suppose there is no rules saying you have to do anything in order. How I'd love to do that, but it would be impossible since I am in contact with one my HS buds regularly. So when and If I transition I am positive I won't be able to hide it till I am fully done.
Jenny please let us know how it went!
I revently went to my 20yr HS reunion.. A couple of people knew about my transition, but the majority had no idea.. All I got apart from a raised eyebrow or 2 was acceptance.. Heck, some of the guys stood up for me when some drunk idiot smacked me in the face with a plastic glass.
I went to a lot of school reunions and everyone was great,I thought I covered up pretty good at school but a lot of them saw through me
Quote from: Kaylee on December 05, 2013, 10:30:53 AM
Anyway, it was about 30-40 minutes in before one of them asked me what I did - needless to say I had a little bit of fun pulling the "I can't believe you don't remember me" and "I used to sit at the same bank of desks as you, you simply MUST remember me!". After about 10 minutes I pulled out a before pic from my phone and couldn't help but giggle at the expression on his face as he looked back and forth between the phone and me! :)
Ooohhh that is goooood! LOL
What a way to show them... So great. I will try to use that if I can keep myself together without laughing!
Quote from: JordanBlue on December 05, 2013, 10:56:23 AM
This sounds like a lot of fun. If that's you in your avatar. I'm pretty sure they'll be astounded. ;)
Aww thank you Jordan :D That is VERY sweet of you to say! I am definitely hoping for that kind of a response.
Update:
So far, 4 of my other friends have confirmed with the friend I am out to to get together on the 21st. This is going to be nuts! I am so excited ahh!! :D
Wow, best of luck with that Jenny. I'm sure everything will go fine, and it'll probably be quite a thrill to be able to do that.
The thought of me doing it down the line fills me with the utmost dread, and not just because the years I had spent at school are years that I'm delighted to have done with. I guess it depends on your experience of it really, but I left with a number of people who were content in making my life an utter misery (probably didn't help that I just sucked it all down for 5-or-so years, but there you go!). There's one person in my entire school year that I speak to, and that's completely by chance that she started working where I worked. She's also one of about 5 people I know personally who are aware of my intent to transition. I was only recently in a bar in which somebody from school happened to be as well, and even that resulted in derision for no other reason than simply being there - and I was presenting as male at the time!
I'd consider moving far away before seeing most of the people from school ever again. :(
Quote from: Jennygirl on November 30, 2013, 07:10:06 PM
I finally came out to my best "bud" from HS the other day. He emailed my old email address and I saw it completely by chance. He is 2600 miles away and had no idea about my transition. It went very well, we ended up talking for 90mins. He asked me all the usual questions and told me about his newborn daughter. I have been off of the radar to my HS friends for about a year and a half (when I deleted my old Facebook account). Nobody has seen me for 2 years.
Anyway something happened that left me extremely excited (besides the fact that he supports me!)... We are going to get all of our other friends together and not tell them at all who I am. My best friend even mentioned wanting to videotape their reactions and I promised not to stop him ;) None of my HS friends are violent or lgbtq-phobic type though so I'm not worried about upsetting anyone. My hope is to try to pass as long as possible and then start making subtle hints until they get it, if I don't burst out into laughter first.
Has anyone else done anything similar? Or what were your experiences coming out to old friends in a surprising way during or post-transition? What were their reactions? I'm sure there are some great ones :)
That sounds awesome lol! I wish I could see their reactions too, let us know how it goes! :)
I haven't seen anyone from high school since high school except one teacher.
Quote from: LordKAT on December 14, 2013, 09:18:45 PM
I haven't seen anyone from high school since high school except one teacher.
I think that's the way most people like it. I have 3 friends from HS and I barely see them and have never run into anyone else lol.
My biggest relevant experience is with recruiters. Occasionally I'll get a call or e-mail, "Hey [old male name]! How ya doin?" to which I reply, "Great! Only my name is Paige now. What's up?" And then we go on to talk about a possible position without a hitch.
Have fun with em. They see you're happy, odds are it'll be fine. :)
Quote from: Misato on December 14, 2013, 11:40:35 PM
My biggest relevant experience is with recruiters. Occasionally I'll get a call or e-mail, "Hey [old male name]! How ya doin?" to which I reply, "Great! Only my name is Paige now. What's up?" And then we go on to talk about a possible position without a hitch.
Have fun with em. They see you're happy, odds are it'll be fine. :)
LOVE it!! ♥ ♥
Have fun with it Jenny! I haven't seen anyone from HS in at least 6 or 7 years, my ten year reunion was this year, I was not keen to go. Maybe the next reunion I will, I don't think I will be able to hide my transition too long. It was an all boys school so the dress I wear might be a give away :)
Quote from: Rachel85 on December 15, 2013, 03:57:19 AM
Have fun with it Jenny! I haven't seen anyone from HS in at least 6 or 7 years, my ten year reunion was this year, I was not keen to go. Maybe the next reunion I will, I don't think I will be able to hide my transition too long. It was an all boys school so the dress I wear might be a give away :)
Now
THAT would be a reunion to remember!!!!
♥ I can understand your hesitance! LOL
Saw two guys from high school today, and it almost made me cough up my stomach with fear. And I'm not even out yet! Thankfully they didn't talk to me but I think they knew it was me...
4 days I'm so excited!!!!!
There are 6 people confirmed! This is going to be crazy. I have to start thinking about what I'm going to wear!!! ;)
Mmm, maybe get your hands on your old HS cheerleading outfit? ;)
From your pics and avatars Jenny, I have no doubt you will blow them away. I'm hoping you will at least show us some edited version of the clip :)
GL!! :)
So Jenny... what happened?
Quote from: LizMarie on December 29, 2013, 12:58:15 AM
So Jenny... what happened?
Sorry I forgot to follow up on this! It went super extremely well. I arrived about 15 minutes late, so 90% of the guys had showed up (7 total upon arrival). My best friend (the only one who knew) saw me from the window and came to meet me at the door. The smile on his face when he saw me was priceless. We hugged and he said "sooo good to see you!! are you ready?" I said "LETS DO THIS" ;)
We got to the table, and he announced "Well we have a special guest tonight guys, everyone meet Jenny!"
I shook everyone's hand and verbally introduced myself, and took a seat. Nobody recognized me at all. All eyes went back to him, some of them were obviously surprised to have someone they thought they didn't know there. Not a second later, he started throwing out hints that I knew all of them, had graduated the same year, and that I had actually attended most if not all of our friendly get togethers. He mentioned that I had starred in a lot of the silly videos we made during HS sleepovers, and that they all knew me too. I looked around and received nothing but bewildered looks except for a few smiles.
Then, he asked if anyone "got it". A few nodded silently but the rest just sat there. One guy said "Well, I feel like I should get it, but I don't get it. What the heck am I supposed to get?? TELL ME!". Then my best friend explained that it was me, using my old name. Jaws dropped and then a round of slow-clap applause from everyone. The really confused guy said "WELL DONE JENNY! Well done." It was freaking hilarious.
Beers were ordered and eventually questions started to flow once the initial shock wore off, and conversation was going really great. Couldn't have asked for a better response, really!
About a half an hour in, another one of my friends joined and sat next to me. This was especially funny because everyone knew except for him, the poor guy. Everyone was watching his response. I introduced myself, and he introduced himself to me as if we'd never met... My best friend asked him "do you recognize her? Anything seem familiar?" We gave him about 2 minutes until we could realize he was pretty uncomfortable... haha... and then I showed him my ID. Another jaw drop situation, ending in hilarity when someone said "yep, sucks you have to cross her off the list huh!". I took that as a compliment ;)
After 4-5 hours of them asking me questions, recalling old memories, and general absurdness, a few of us remained and had a little smoke session in one of my friend's cars. It felt just like old times. My best friend commented how comfortable he felt around me, in a way as if nothing had changed at all. He said "you know, I know you look different, and sound different, but you still seem like you and you still talk like you even though you sound like a girl". That was probably the most perfect thing he could have said to me.
When we parted, I gave him the sort of hug that really sealed it. As we waved to each other on the freeway goodbye (as I exited for my mom's place), I began to cry thinking of when I would see him next. I will miss those boys. I don't care if I'm a girl now, I still have so many memories with them and love them just the same.
So, in a nutshell, I think I can say with confidence that it could not have gone any better :)
wow awesome story :)
would be a fun thing to do :D
Fun ... and scary!
But you certainly do get a wonderful tale from it ;D
Lovely story! So amazing! And I think it highlights the differences between generations. The younger generation is growing more tolerant and more accepting of people, regardless of race, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity. I'd never dare try something like that with my generation. I already see enough of the negativity for being a "->-bleeped-<-" as it is without going looking for it.
You and other people like you are going to becomes the "million points of light" of the trans community, showing that we're just human beings.
Thank you, for being you. :)
What an amazing story, so glad it turned out so well!
That's fantastic Jenny! I so happy for you that things went so well! :) :)
Wow sounds pretty nice Jenny, sounds like a fantastic memory to cherish.