Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Activism and Politics => Discrimination => Topic started by: Tessa James on December 05, 2013, 05:31:14 PM

Title: Affirmation through discrimination
Post by: Tessa James on December 05, 2013, 05:31:14 PM
My wife and I celebrated our 39th anniversary by staying at a favorite national resort.  We did all the same things we have done for years.  Hike the trails, play games, go swimming in the pool and sit close to each other on the plush lounge couch.  What was different was that I had begun transition a year ago and now presented as feminine and maybe even looked like another woman.  This seemed to result in no big deal if we were seen apart.  However, when we walked along the trail holding hands or snuggled on the sofa we did get "the looks."  Honestly it was hilarious confirmation that we apparently appeared to be a lesbian couple doing PDAs!! (public displays of affection)

We were prepared for misgendering and transphobia and gave little thought to our relationship appearing different as our actual behavior had not changed.  We had talked incessantly about trans issues but did not worry about looking like lesbians.  A friend of mine who is gay accuses me, in jest, of trying to live through the whole LGBTQ rainbow.  Happy to be all of that and more ;D
Title: Re: Affirmation through discrimination
Post by: gennee on January 22, 2014, 04:47:12 PM
My wife and I go out quite a bit when I'm Gennee. It has evolved through patience and communication. She supports me 100%. We shop, go to dinner, and go to church together. I'm treated like any other woman. I'm really enjoying my life.

:)
Title: Re: Affirmation through discrimination
Post by: Jill F on January 22, 2014, 05:13:00 PM
Last year my wife and I went to Vegas just after I started my successful full time experiment.

Nobody so much as batted an eye at me until I started holding my wife's hand as usual and gave her a good luck kiss on the casino floor.  We instantly got daggers stared at us.

Apparently I passed perfectly as a lesbian.  :D
Title: Re: Affirmation through discrimination
Post by: Tessa James on January 24, 2014, 10:12:01 PM
LMAO and thanks Jill that is very similar to what we experienced.  Is part of it those little PDAs that we are so keyed to note?
Title: Re: Affirmation through discrimination
Post by: Missy~rmdlm on January 25, 2014, 01:55:34 AM
Yes, ugly "hilarity" ensues in transition.
It really does confound me that in my home state of Missouri, I married a woman for 8 years. Now that's not legal with a doctors note and visit to various offices to update data.
Yes of course I knew this, my marriage was beyond repair when I decided to start transition.
I am a little self conscious of being overtly lesbian oriented in public with my partner, but it's not gotten too many stares around the Midwest honestly.