Hey everyone.. So something has been bugging me.. As u know I'm
19 and came out as gay.. Even though I'm a girl..
And for a Long time now whenever I see a beautiful straight couple I get extremely hateful and jealous
Whenever I see attractive straight guys I get super mad.. When I see guys looking at girls I get mad
When I see straight peoe flirting I get mad.. I feel like a feminist.. The thought of a straight guy cheating on a woman makes me furious.. Those pigs..
It makes me want to transition and be beautiful and not let any man touch me
I hope I don't sound crazy but.. I am,
Hahahah it's just been bothering me.. I can't even watch straight flirting on tv
I'm also extremely jealous of pretty girls.. But I don't hate them.. Only the men..
Does anyone feel this way... It's making me want to transition and I can't... Is this normal
Wow... "hate" is a pretty strong word to use. Transitioning is something you do for yourself, to feel comfortable in your own skin. It isn't something to do out of hate or jealousy.
Why do you think you feel jealousy and/or anger when seeing men flirt with women?
Ravenna, since my transition (and resultant divorce), I haven't seen straight romance quite the same way. Used to love romantic comedies, now find them very annoying.
My feelings aren't quite the same as yours, but I certainly understand where they're coming from.
feelings of hate aren't the best thing to be dwelling on. don't know what's causing you to feel this way about men. I had a boy friend once that I loved but I realized at one point that he just thought of me as his personal prostitute. I don't hate him though. To be honest hate is like cancer it will eat you alive.
Ravenna,
An important lesson I once learned is that anger (and it's cousin hate) should be thought of as umbrella emotions. They cover a lot of smaller things. I found that I didn't really feel anger, I felt the smaller thing first such as betrayal, annoyance, frustration, confusion and so forth. When I felt the smaller things, my mind would convert them into the larger, more common emotion of anger.
By learning to identify the smaller emotions that were inside of my anger, I started to become the master of my anger. Anger was large and overwhelming, but I could stop and reflect over a sense of betrayal. Perhaps I'd realize that it was I who was at fault for the feeling of having been betrayed because I had misunderstood another. By checking a sense of frustration, I could renew my efforts and triumph where I had failed before.
You might try breaking down your hate into the smaller, more manageable feelings within. You already have a good start, you have done a good job of identifying and saying aloud many of the sources of those feelings. It helps to have a good friend, parent, teacher, clergy or therapist to discuss your feelings with, get them out in the open and see if there are some things within your power to change, so that your hate doesn't overwhelm you. Take them one at a time.
I have had many times in my life where I've had feelings like yours. They aren't fun but they can be managed and brought down in size so they aren't a threat to consume you from the inside.
I understand those feelings. When I hear a love song I get kinda let down because it kinda feels like those words would never be sung to me in a heart felt way. It kinda makes me feel left out in a strange way...
Quote from: Ravenna on December 06, 2013, 09:54:50 AM
Hey everyone.. So something has been bugging me.. As u know I'm
19 and came out as gay.. Even though I'm a girl..
And for a Long time now whenever I see a beautiful straight couple I get extremely hateful and jealous
Whenever I see attractive straight guys I get super mad.. When I see guys looking at girls I get mad
When I see straight peoe flirting I get mad.. I feel like a feminist.. The thought of a straight guy cheating on a woman makes me furious.. Those pigs..
It makes me want to transition and be beautiful and not let any man touch me
I hope I don't sound crazy but.. I am,
Hahahah it's just been bothering me.. I can't even watch straight flirting on tv
I'm also extremely jealous of pretty girls.. But I don't hate them.. Only the men..
Does anyone feel this way... It's making me want to transition and I can't... Is this normal
no need to hate. your already on your way to transition. im not sure where you live and if you have access to a doctor who will Rx you blockers and low dosage estrogen. but you can start those dirt cheap. no need for you to miss out on the fun of our 20s. your 20s are going to be great :)
You girls are all so nice and positive
I'm sorry for spreading any negativity
It's just hard being what I am you know what I mean
You are very nice too Ravenna ;)
Quote from: Ravenna on December 06, 2013, 11:17:11 AM
You girls are all so nice and positive
I'm sorry for spreading any negativity
It's just hard being what I am you know what I mean
You didn't spread any such thing...you had a concern, and wanted to know more so you could deal with it. That's a good thing...*hugs*
:)
Quote from: Ravenna on December 06, 2013, 11:17:11 AM
You girls are all so nice and positive
I'm sorry for spreading any negativity
It's just hard being what I am you know what I mean
you dont have to be sorry girl. you did nothing wrong. thats what this site if for. support and the occasional gossip.
To be honest I felt the same way you did when I was about 21-23. It was pretty darned self destructive too.
It's important to be concerned about the safety of women, some guys take advantage of and do some terrible things, but to project that onto all guys is probably unfair and can really poison relationships and friendships.
Like the others, I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, just suggesting that examining what lies behind that anger and hatred might be a constructive solution. For me it was not wanting to be associated with men, manhood, machismo, patriarchy, etc etc - despite the many nice guys I knew I was utterly ashamed to be the same gender as those other men who had perpetrated so much violence, denigration and hatred towards women. Being trans* only exacerbated it 100 fold. Being able to separate myself from that and raising I wasn't personally responsible for it and that I wasn't powerless to speak up against the real abuse was a great way for me to be more accepting of men.
Don't know if that applies to you but thought I'd mention it. :)
Quote from: Ravenna on December 06, 2013, 09:54:50 AM
Hey everyone.. So something has been bugging me.. As u know I'm
19 and came out as gay.. Even though I'm a girl..
And for a Long time now whenever I see a beautiful straight couple I get extremely hateful and jealous
Whenever I see attractive straight guys I get super mad.. When I see guys looking at girls I get mad
When I see straight peoe flirting I get mad.. I feel like a feminist.. The thought of a straight guy cheating on a woman makes me furious.. Those pigs..
It makes me want to transition and be beautiful and not let any man touch me
I hope I don't sound crazy but.. I am,
Hahahah it's just been bothering me.. I can't even watch straight flirting on tv
I'm also extremely jealous of pretty girls.. But I don't hate them.. Only the men..
Does anyone feel this way... It's making me want to transition and I can't... Is this normal
I get jealous of other girls too. I'm also a bit envious of straight girls that get to date and be in relationships. However, I don't hate or begrudge them. I realize that I'm upset about what I'm lacking in my own life rather than getting mad at them for what they have. We all get jealous, but we need to properly understand what we are feeling and not allow ourselves to hold ill will towards others. If you desire something, don't hate those that have it. Go out and find what you are looking for. You'll find love someday and you can be beautiful too. Then there is no need for jealousy.
Quote from: Ravenna on December 06, 2013, 09:54:50 AM
And for a Long time now whenever I see a beautiful straight couple I get extremely hateful and jealous
Whenever I see attractive straight guys I get super mad.. When I see guys looking at girls I get mad
When I see straight peoe flirting I get mad..
I get similar reactions. I don't like that life pretty much handed me a penis and threw me into a system that I could never be a part of.
Quote from: Gene24 on December 08, 2013, 03:46:05 PM
I get similar reactions. I don't like that life pretty much handed me a penis and threw me into a system that I could never be a part of.
Life's a theif, now give it back!
QuoteBy learning to identify the smaller emotions that were inside of my anger, I started to become the master of my anger.
I definitely agree with this, I can relate to Joules! I never used to have any deep-down anger, I got angry momentarily but then it would completely evaporate and I'd be fine within a very short space of time, almost no matter what the initial issue. I don't seem to have that luxury anymore though, I just have this intense anger bubbling under the surface seemingly 24/7. True, my feeling of general perpetual annoyance & feeling wired seems to have coincided with a mini last-minute late puberty spurt, but I've noticed that the anger issues were already in the system before then, its just that the seeming flood of DHT and/or T has awakened the anger and made manifest. I'm trying to identify what exactly is the issue, and why I just can't stop myself bellowing at people and breaking things at the drop of a hat. My anger can be triggered by the tiniest little inconveniences. Anger seems to be like a fly buzzing around me that just won't leave me alone.
QuoteWhenever I see attractive straight guys I get super mad.. When I see guys looking at girls I get mad
When I see straight people flirting I get mad.. I feel like a feminist.. The thought of a straight guy cheating on a woman makes me furious.. Those pigs..
Now initially when I read this Raveena, I felt very annoyed, as it paints men as the bad guys 100% of the time. So I initially just wanted to rant about the above statement (because that's my reaction to things now, argh), but I also realise that this is very much how I feel about women, except minus the cheating aspects. I have this huge and irrational, though it feels very logical, anger that women in relationships are ultimately hugely selfish, women want to be totally independent of their partner AND yet also want their partner to be at their beck and call when it suits them. I personally have always felt like just a tool in a relationship with women, they are kind on the surface to me as long as I be a good conformist little man to boost them when they feel emotional and disappear when they feel self-sufficient. There's like a double standards thing going on, and this drives me nuts as I thought the whole point of feminism and gender equality was actually about gender equality. Not just trading one gender's superiority over another.
Most people I'm sure would not say my way of thinking is normal, but I'm quite levelheaded generally, so there must be some sort of reason and emotion to address to sort this out. I do wish I could view relationships with women as positive, but...I can't seem to shake how I feel.
So going back to the original OP (finally!), Ravenna I hope we both come to some peace and greater understanding of relationships, flirting and our inner emotions, so we don't become bitter and more confused in the meantime I guess :)
Gene24 and ms grace
My feelings exactly
I was thinking of maybe getting an orchie to
Turn down the fire in a way.. Maybe be an androgyn
Quote from: LordKAT on December 09, 2013, 12:43:32 AM
Life's a theif, now give it back!
I need the skin. You can have the remains :laugh:
With me it's not so much hate or anger toward the people as it is my own situation. I look at a married couple, especially a long time married couple, and think, "Why couldn't that have been me? Why was *I* born this way?" I don't dwell on it--it is what it is, but I do wonder if this is what you're feeling?
im sorry u get mad. I get jelous too, but straight guys flirt wit me all the time. Im just so picky with guys that I don't have sex with a lot of them. the last straight guys that I had sex with was a month ago and the only reason me and him arnt dating now is cause I knew his babys mom and I use to be best friends with her sister and he was worried that she mite be able to get his kid taken away from him so we decided to just be friends, but don't be jelous u will get a straight guys sooner or later. U hateing people cause of those reasons isn't weird. what is weird is I wont even talk to guys that have even kissed another transgender cause i don't want to have to feel like I have to look better or be better than them in everyway possible
Edit: im not on hormones, but im passing as a girl just fine without them.