Hey lovelies I had an interesting occurrence last night. Whilst walking past a pub window with my boyfriend all of a sudden I heard a catcall and looked back to see these guys in the window staring and smiling at me. I really didn't know what to make of it so I just lightly waved and keep walking. It's weird I found it both flattering and insulting at the same time.
Have you girls ever been catcalled? And if so how do you usually respond?
After a while, you get used to it. Like you, I was a little unsure how to respond at first. But now it is such a regular thing that I barely notice it.
I just roll my eyes and think "screw you". Being a lesbian, I have no desire to be with a guy and I find them repulsive. (And no, I don't hate all men in general..I just have no attraction to them...hence, the repulsion.)
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 06:52:30 PM
I just roll my eyes and think "screw you". Being a lesbian, I have no desire to be with a guy and I find them repulsive. (And no, I don't hate all men in general..I just have no attraction to them...hence, the repulsion.)
I have found that lesbians catcall me more than men do. Granted I pretty much only go to lesbian bars.
Quote from: Brooke777 on December 06, 2013, 06:54:06 PM
I have found that lesbians catcall me more than men do. Granted I pretty much only go to lesbian bars.
Really?
Wow.
I could never do that. But I'm usually the quiet type (unless I am around people I feel comfortable with then I can't shut up. :D)
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 06:56:40 PM
Really?
Wow.
I could never do that. But I'm usually the quiet type (unless I am around people I feel comfortable with then I can't shut up. :D)
I am a totally social person. I make friends most everywhere I go. Normally, I make friends with the quiet ones like yourself. It is good to have some people who are quieter than me around.
Quote from: Brooke777 on December 06, 2013, 07:02:24 PM
I am a totally social person. I make friends most everywhere I go. Normally, I make friends with the quiet ones like yourself. It is good to have some people who are quieter than me around.
It's only in the last several years that I have been able to talk to people. I never had any real friends, just drug buddies. Before that, I couldn't really talk to people unless I was stoned.
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 07:09:15 PM
It's only in the last several years that I have been able to talk to people. I never had any real friends, just drug buddies. Before that, I couldn't really talk to people unless I was stoned.
I think it is amazing when people can break out of such a toxic cycle. You should be extremely proud of yourself! I don't know you, but I am proud of you for doing that.
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 06:52:30 PM
I just roll my eyes and think "screw you". Being a lesbian, I have no desire to be with a guy and I find them repulsive. (And no, I don't hate all men in general..I just have no attraction to them...hence, the repulsion.)
Oh come now Miss Bungle, there are some really good-looking guys out there. IMO both genders can be beautiful in different ways. Barring anything sexual, surely you don't find ALL of them repulsive. ^.^ (Bradley Cooper perhaps? <3)
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on December 06, 2013, 07:12:47 PM
Oh come now Miss Bungle, there are some really good-looking guys out there. IMO both genders can be beautiful in different ways. Barring anything sexual, surely you don't find ALL of them repulsive. ^.^ (Bradley Cooper perhaps? <3)
Honestly, the only time I ever found a guy even semi-desirable was David Foley in drag. David Foley as himself? Meh...whatever. LOL Not sure what that says about me but..... :D
Quote from: Brooke777 on December 06, 2013, 07:12:24 PM
I think it is amazing when people can break out of such a toxic cycle. You should be extremely proud of yourself! I don't know you, but I am proud of you for doing that.
I also kicked all of the drugs and booze as well. I started nipping my Dad's booze when I was 10,11 and smoking pot by 15 (after my friends bugging me for 3 years to try it but I always refused) due to GID and the suicidal impulses from that. Now, I have no use for it. I did drink on the 4th of July but that turned out to be a VERY bad idea because it doesn't work with the anti anxiety meds I am on. I don't like taking those either to be honest, but I was falling apart due to weird anxiety attacks that came totally out of the blue. I dealt with that for several months because I didn't want to be on pills but I found that after trying a TON of other options it was the only thing that was going to help get me back together. I was VERY close to killing myself at one point because I felt as if my life was broken beyond all repair and I could never fix it again. But the pills helped and I've had no side effects so that's good.
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 07:24:09 PM
I also kicked all of the drugs and booze as well. I started nipping my Dad's booze when I was 10,11 and smoking pot by 15 (after my friends bugging me for 3 years to try it but I always refused) due to GID and the suicidal impulses from that. Now, I have no use for it. I did drink on the 4th of July but that turned out to be a VERY bad idea because it doesn't work with the anti anxiety meds I am on. I don't like taking those either to be honest, but I was falling apart due to weird anxiety attacks that came totally out of the blue. I dealt with that for several months because I didn't want to be on pills but I found that after trying a TON of other options it was the only thing that was going to help get me back together. I was VERY close to killing myself at one point because I felt as if my life was broken beyond all repair and I could never fix it again. But the pills helped and I've had no side effects so that's good.
That is amazing that you were able to stop all of that. I too started drinking at about the same age, for the same reasons. However, I didn't stop drinking until I did try to kill myself. I am very glad you did not make it to that point, and that you have been able to keep yourself together.
Ugh, yes. All the time if I'm in a crowded area (French Quarter especially). In front of my mom, too. I just keep walking and don't pay it any mind.
Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on December 06, 2013, 06:52:30 PM
I just roll my eyes and think "screw you". Being a lesbian, I have no desire to be with a guy and I find them repulsive. (And no, I don't hate all men in general..I just have no attraction to them...hence, the repulsion.)
I do not understand this reaction. Being straight, I don't mind if a lesbian hits on me. In fact I'm flattered when it happens.
Quote from: Brooke777 on December 06, 2013, 07:31:49 PM
That is amazing that you were able to stop all of that. I too started drinking at about the same age, for the same reasons. However, I didn't stop drinking until I did try to kill myself. I am very glad you did not make it to that point, and that you have been able to keep yourself together.
Well, the pair in my avatar are a huge help. Especially that cutie on the left.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 06, 2013, 07:33:39 PM
I do not understand this reaction. Being straight, I don't mind if a lesbian hits on me. In fact I'm flattered when it happens.
Well, I tend to be very cynical at times so that is where it comes from.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 06, 2013, 07:33:39 PM
I do not understand this reaction. Being straight, I don't mind if a lesbian hits on me. In fact I'm flattered when it happens.
I personally have noticed a really large difference in how men, and women catcall. Men seem to do it in a bit more...aggressive fashion. I am bi, and currently have a boyfriend so I am not against men in the slightest. But I still prefer the way women catcall than the way the men do. That is just why I have had a similar reaction at times.
Usually I start running because they are only calling out the attack dogs! :o ::)
If i ever do then I'm gonna embarrass the heck outta my boyfriend and yell out "sorry, but only this sexy stud gets a peice of me!"
In the past I've been in close proximity to women who have been catcalled (or worse) - I think they showed a lot of dignity by ignoring it and just going on her way. I did want to apologise for "men in general", plus I wish I could slap dow the guy/s doing it except they're either in a car, the other side of the road or look like they could beat me to a pulp.
Heard a funny story about a young guy who was with his friends in a car stopped at traffic lights. He called out a comment to a woman standing at the corner with her back to him. Turns out it was his mother! She gave him and his friends a real dressing down! :laugh: (Recounted to me by mother, a work colleague of the woman.)
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 06, 2013, 10:14:01 PM
He called out a comment to a woman standing at the corner with her back to him. Turns out it was his mother! She gave him and his friends a real dressing down!
:o :D Wow...that would really suck.
It kinda depends on the individual guy's behavior, If they are being generally complimentary in a nice way I usually just smile a bit and go about my business
If they are being rude I generally just don't give any reaction
There have been a few times when someone has been up in my face rude and I had to tell them what bus to catch, even dumped a couple of guys on their bums for being overly aggressive and I can remember at least one time when store security had to get involved with one individual that just wouldn't stop harassing me
When I was young, skinny, and pretty, that used to happen a LOT, particularly around construction sites and other places where men gather and feel the need to assert their 'maleness'.
I always felt flattered, usually turned away and smiled to myself, but if I was feeling particularly flirty, I would just give them a big smile and walk on. The smile really seemed to make them feel good.
The only people who have cat called me are guys driving by in cars or some of the guys and girls who are still in highschool, the one thats not far from where I live.
So I just ignore completely. Im flattered when girls catcall me but also annoyed because they are roo young. When guys catcall...i just dont like it. Makes me wanna run away lol
Never had it.
Happened to me once or twice before transitioning. It was flattering then, but now I think I would be a lil bothered by it.
I don't travel alone outside very much (thanks to having a constant companion for the entirety of my full-time existence). Thus I've never been catcalled.
I'm almost disappointed.
Still, I do sometimes get random guys at work saying "Hey" and smiling at me. :)
This has never happened to me but to be honest I dont think I would mind...
I'm new in transition... so I've only had it happen once. It was less of a catcall and more of a leer (I mean... a real and long leer).
I just kept walking. He looked at me, mostly at my legs in skinny jeans. I walked by him and he turned and looked at my legs and ass as I walked away.
It was very weird for me - this was over a month ago - and it felt both good and unnerving. I definitely felt vulnerable, but that's not a bad feeling unless it was also in an unsafe situation.
Quote from: KabitTarah on December 23, 2013, 09:01:17 AM
I'm new in transition... so I've only had it happen once. It was less of a catcall and more of a leer (I mean... a real and long leer).
I just kept walking. He looked at me, mostly at my legs in skinny jeans. I walked by him and he turned and looked at my legs and ass as I walked away.
It was very weird for me - this was over a month ago - and it felt both good and unnerving. I definitely felt vulnerable, but that's not a bad feeling unless it was also in an unsafe situation.
I have had that happen to me twice in the past 3 weeks Tarah. Long, long leers that made me very uncomfortable - it was unnerving as you said. I have talked to several women about it and they tell me that does happen, it's just guys being guys. I have some boobs now and I think that helps to bring on the leers.
It's a creepy feeling and a positive feeling both at the same time. Creepy just because...positive because while I might not think I'm that good looking, it tells me that the general public might and I'm too hard on myself.
Then again, I'm guilty of doing it to both parties... What can I say? Beautiful people are hard NOT to look at, but should be done so in moderation if it absolutely needs to be done. No need to undress with your eyes.
There is only one thing todo, Stick your nose up, walk tall, and give them the show they want. Because honey if youre not gonna strut your stuff youre wasting everyones time.
Love bugs!!
if they are cute i'll wave back and continue on my business, if not i yell "You aint got enough boo!" and continue on lol
I've not been catcalled, at least yet, but I'm also old enough that I don't expect to be catcalled. However, two of my closest cisgender girlfriends keep warning me that it's going to happen. I have trouble believing that but we'll see. :)
I tend to just ignore cat callers. I wish I were brave or witty enough to say something snarky to them, but I'm just generally really fearful of escalating the situation into one with the risk of physical danger. When out in public alone, shades and headphones are a girls best friend!
Quote from: Paige0000 on December 06, 2013, 06:42:24 PM
Hey lovelies I had an interesting occurrence last night. Whilst walking past a pub window with my boyfriend all of a sudden I heard a catcall and looked back to see these guys in the window staring and smiling at me. I really didn't know what to make of it so I just lightly waved and keep walking. It's weird I found it both flattering and insulting at the same time.
Have you girls ever been catcalled? And if so how do you usually respond?
You did the right thing. Eye contact, a little flirtatious wave, and a bit of a booty shake - assuming you are not alone.
I am weary of cat calls. I dont get them often cause I have not been going out much. When they did happen, I respond with my most prevalent "Engurish" accent :D ;D
Illustration:
Cat caller: "Hey baby wussup!"
Me: "Oh no sorreh no unduhstan"
Cat caller: Puzzled look on face how can tall looking black woman have Japanese accent?!?!?!?!
Me: LOLZ inside! ;D
{Attention: This approach is not recommended by the reading audience until after successfully mastering a Japanese accent ;D}
Peace and love!
Yup... welcome to the world of womanhood. Guys thinking that they have the privilege to eye you over like a piece of meat and undress you with their eyes is one of those great universal empowering/dehumanizing aspects of being a girl.
The first time it happened to me, I basically looked around to see if there was another woman behind me somewhere, because I was sure that it couldn't possibly be directed at me. But then when I saw the guy looking at me, I just sort of smiled, and then went off into a nervous corner somewhere because I was so sure that he was clocking me as trans and not whistling at me because I was attractive. (I had like no self-confidence at the time.)
Nowadays I just send the whistler a smirking half-grin, sort of a combination of smiling and rolling my eyes. And I guess that's my general reaction to it. I'm flattered, but also kind of horrified. I've never understood guys very well, not even in high school when this nonsense started in the first place, so my reaction is usually along the lines of "sigh... seriously, guys?"
Quote from: Idenya on March 11, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
I am weary of cat calls. I dont get them often cause I have not been going out much. When they did happen, I respond with my most prevalent "Engurish" accent :D ;D
Illustration:
Cat caller: "Hey baby wussup!"
Me: "Oh no sorreh no unduhstan"
Cat caller: Puzzled look on face how can tall looking black woman have Japanese accent?!?!?!?!
Me: LOLZ inside! ;D
{Attention: This approach is not recommended by the reading audience until after successfully mastering a Japanese accent ;D}
Peace and love!
I know you said this in jest, but what you said is pretty ****ing rude. The japanese alphabet/language is so very different to english, and so the pronunciation of certain words/letters is difficult when they don't exist in your native tongue.
Yes, I usually turn around and blow 'em a kiss then turn back around and keep walking. Only when it's day time though. If at night I just give a hello smile and keep walking. Really my reaction depend on the area, time of day and the group that the catcall comes from.
Quote from: castle of glass on March 11, 2014, 02:19:39 PM
I know you said this in jest, but what you said is pretty ****ing rude. The japanese alphabet/language is so very different to english, and so the pronunciation of certain words/letters is difficult when they don't exist in your native tongue.
*sigh*
First of all I am from Japan :) what gives you the right to label me based on my post when you know nothing about me?
多分それはここに間違っている？たぶん、この理由は、誰と交流しないように十分でしょうか？
Hi friends :police:
Chill out and stay on topic
No need to be gettin' fussy here
Thank you
V M
Has happened to me 2-3 times...
Ignore them or smile a bit
Quote from: Idenya on March 11, 2014, 03:41:52 PM
多分それはここに間違っている？たぶん、この理由は、誰と交流しないように十分でしょうか？
翻訳ソフトには、まだまだ限界があるよね...
damnit , these japanese are too pro for me to handle...
kanji :(
all I can say for now is this
kyu kyu kawaii hime desu nyan
Kanji really suck ;D
Hooray for that magic button on the keyboard that changes hiragana to to the right kanji for you ;)
Hi friends :)
The Japanese language is very fascinating and I enjoyed studying it to some degree in younger days, but let's try to get back on topic
If you wish to discuss various languages, create a new topic in an appropriate forum
Thank you
V M
ごめんなさ〜い m(_ _)m
Back OT, I have never been cat called. If it ever happened I have no idea how I would deal with it so the answers to the thread have been very instructive.
This isn't quite a catcall, but it is kind of similar. The other day while walking through a store a guy smacked my ass. So, I grabbed a near by close hanger (it was a department store with wood hangers) and I smacked his ass. He screamed so loud! It was great!
Sorry.
I put in my intro I am half Japanese half Ethiopian born in Tsuruoka Japan Yamagachi perfecfture. I only live in US for 6 years. I am here on a work Visa.