Hi!
You can call me Shadow. I joined this forum because I am confused and need help to figure out who I am.
As a kid, I always wanted to be a boy. I was insulted when my dad would tell me that I couldn't do something because I am a girl. I hanged out with boys until I was 10, but afterwards I was more of a loner, I guess it is because I often found that people of my own age weren't mature enough. At 11, I started to be suicidal. I remember wanting to stab myself. I never made a concrete attempt though, I did not want to inflict this on my family and friends. I always thought that the source of my suffering was my relationship with my father since he was verbally abusive towards me and my siblings. But now I wonder if the reason was more than that, maybe it was because I never felt right in my body. Puberty was no fun either obviously, I never liked having breasts and curves.s
I also always envied the male body. The features I like in my body are the most masculine ones.
I've been with a fantastic woman for nearly a year and a half now, the suicidal thoughts mostly went away. I began meeting more and more trans people, and I realized that I envy them. I started looking at FtM videos and it feels right. I am very scared of people's reaction, if no one was currently in my life I'm pretty sure I already be transitioning.
I talked to her about me going to see a psychologist to figure it out and she did not react so well. She was married to a man before and left him because she wanted to be with a woman. I know she loves me a lot and she also loves my body much more than I do, but I am scared she will leave me if I transition. I love her so much and we planned on starting to try to have kids in the summer. I really don't want to mess things up, but I don't want to regret not transitioning for the rest of my life.
So I am here asking your advice.
Hi Shadow :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here
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Hugs
V M
Hi Shadow, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 8800 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Hi Shadow, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm up near Boston. My advice is clear, honest discussion with her. Painful, maybe, but it is the best way. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 09, 2013, 02:27:33 PM
Hi Shadow, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm up near Boston. My advice is clear, honest discussion with her. Painful, maybe, but it is the best way. Hugs, Devlyn
Hi Shadow and welcome to our family here at Susan's. I have to agree with Devlyn 100%. It's the best thing to do. Hugs