Hey guys I'm in a predicament here, at the end of July I have an ironman triathlon and I have consistently trained since September. Honestly I have lost all desire to not just swim, bike and run but to actually just really workout. Before I cam out and transition it was habitual and an obsession for me but now that I am transitioning I'm just not having any desire to train and compete in this race honestly. My family has invested into to going upstate to Lake Placid for the race and I feel horrible for simply not wanting to anymore. I've reached a peace within myself that I don't need to do this anymore. I struggle with finding motivation to go outside and workout even. Honestly I haven't been doing much of anything and I need help getting my butt out the door and no telling me to suck it up or toughen up will not do anything for me actually.
Maybe it's time to find something else you can enjoy?
Hmm. One thing I hated about dudebro culture is the competitive nature. Guys are always looking to one-up each other any way they can to advance their social status. Women do compete as well, but the meaning of winning is much different. I never got the dudely competitive thing and dropped out of those games years ago. (Wow, what a loser...) Now that I've umm, adjusted my hormonal profile, my urge to compete for anything is in the toilet. I don't even want to play Scrabble much anymore, and almost nobody could ever beat me at that. I mean, what's the point?
I wasn't much of a guy to begin with, but now I laugh at some of the things I was forced to participate in.
Before starting low dose HRT, and to some extent even for a while after that, I was really hypercompetetive. I was never very athletic, so I didn't worry too much about things like that, but I couldn't stand to lose or be outdone at anything I put effort into. The testosterone may have had something to do with it, but it was also because I had developed a serious inferiority complex due to my poor self image. Since accepting the true nature of my problem, my self image has improved, and I have started to lose my interest in competitive activities. I used to play fighting games every day, now I hardly play them at all. I used to play fast paced shooters like Quake Live, now I have no interest in them. I think it's just a normal thing that happens as you let go of your male mentality. Buy hey, if you don't like fighting/shooting games, play music games/rpgs. There are way too many things to do in life for it to be worth worrying about losing interest in a few things.
I can't help never been a sports person. Buy your family something great for Christmas , maybe they'll forget all about it. Or one of many holidays approaching
It's gummy how there's still a part of me that wants to compete, rave and better myself testosterone self. I want to be able have a huge year before surgery, come back to competition the next year and get far as an amateur can. I want to compete in Hawaii one year but right now I just don't have it in me and it makes me cry to be honest. It wasn't the whole bro culture thing for me, just knowing I can break my own barriers was most important, I did love competing against others as well. I feel lost being so lazy in my mind and not having this drive.
I know a girl who loved to sail every weekend, but when she began her transition she entirely quit and subconciously turned her focus to the importance of her new life. She's now eight years post op, and happier than ever. And guess what, she sails several days a week, and takes friends out on weekends.
Seems like we all have something we love to do, and those things just get put on hold. I love to renovate old homes, but my lack of strength and ambition slowed my work to a crawl. I'm sure my passion for construction will return, and I'm equally sure a lot of us will get back to doing what we love most. After all, our transitions change our lives and bodies to match who we really are, but it preserves what we've always been best able to do.
K
try internet gaming (:
I lost all interest in Internet gaming - which served as great coping mechanism before... Even with Second Life - I just log in once per week - maybe - and that's it. I dont want to play wargames - well, I'd love to resume painting miniatures, but for now they are collecting dust. I dont want to restart swordfighting and my armor is collecting dust as well... I am back into book reading - wanna try female romances one day... no, really :). I have given away all my military hiking equipment - and now, if I would want to go outside camping, I would not look like I am ready for WW3 and its aftermath anymore... I practice sports only as long as it is good for my health and body and keeps me toned up :). And my mind is totally at ease with such an approach ;)
I had the same problem, I used to professionally game, I used to compete in national F.P.S shooter tournaments and even competed in the international mechwarrior online tournaments. I havnt picked up an xbox box controller in almost a year. The motivation and drive hasnt been their. Now that im happy with who I am, the need to compete and feel the attention is gone.
Quote from: Teela Renee on December 16, 2013, 09:21:26 AM
I had the same problem, I used to professionally game, I used to compete in national F.P.S shooter tournaments and even competed in the international mechwarrior online tournaments. I havnt picked up an xbox box controller in almost a year. The motivation and drive hasnt been their. Now that im happy with who I am, the need to compete and feel the attention is gone.
You don't hafta play fps. There are plenty of j or krpgs that allow you to doll up a character and fight monsters :p
As far as fps.. For me, I've gotten less competitive and I tend to not get as pissed off when i play them but i still like them
Yeah I can relate to this it's what happens when your testosterone drops. I used to spend 2-3 hours a day working out now I just barely get a good workout in a few days a week.
A really good part of me does not want to quit and I hate how getting my butt out the door just seems so forced. I loved going on those 50+ mile rides, running 10+ miles and swimming countless laps in the pool or have some good ocean swimming. It's sad how I haven't been in the pool since the spring, the ocean since August and my bike since September. Last I ran was on Thanksgiving. Every time I try getting motivation I'm just really told to suck it up and get out there. In the past it did work but now it simply has stopped having any effect on me.
I've never been an athlete except in high school. I would guess though because of what you do and the amount of training you go through , the more you delay getting back in to it the harder its going to be to start again.
I haven't brewed beer since before July... it was seldom I'd go longer than a month before (for about 3 years straight)
Quote from: Hideyoshi on December 16, 2013, 11:01:57 AM
You don't hafta play fps. There are plenty of j or krpgs that allow you to doll up a character and fight monsters :p
As far as fps.. For me, I've gotten less competitive and I tend to not get as pissed off when i play them but i still like them
I know, I play dragons dogma, and skyrim from time to time, and im a league of legends addict. but as far as competitive gaming goes, no desire. I play mostly for fun. I do get alil mad if bs keeps going down on league of legends tho :P
I was regularly working on my art before HRT. Now? meh.
It could be that I'm focused elsewhere, but I also wonder if it's because testosterone is a hormone that gives you the ability to have a single mind set, regardless of the hurdles. Or like Emily said, we can sometimes take on things with gusto as a means to block out thinking about our gender issues and I know I also used my art for that purpose. :-\