I am relatively new to owning any feminine clothing whatsoever. I have six pairs of panties to call my own but that is it, other than that it's strictly male clothing(blechh!) For those of you who haven't read any of my other posts, I am in high school and I've tried to come out to my parents but they don't believe me and say that it's just hormones and that I'm not sure of what I'm feeling so it's difficult for me to do much without being made fun of or losing friends or getting grounded by my parents(which has happened because I shaved my legs). Most of the time I desperately feel like I should have been born a girl. Does anybody know of ways that I can feel more feminine and feminine clothes that I could possibly upgrade my male waredrobe with?
Kisses,
jeans and you can't see panty hose with jeans
What kind of jeans do you recommend?
Something that girls your age wear.
The skin fitting type might not go over big with your parents
you can probably get away with some pretty tight fitting jeans. both male and female jeans can look the same. Unless you go super stretch
you could always go to your Local JCpennys or Dillards and ask for help with that so your parents wont know. they can help you with a more abdro look
Ok thanks! I would get really nervous doing that though. Just sayin. I would love to have girls jeans though and have tried to convince my mom to buy me some but it didn't work :( I do drive though so there are more options to me now
Become a hipster :) skinny jeans are part of the uniform
Haha ;) good idea(; Can they still be female jeans?
There's next to no difference. Skinny jeans are skinny jeans.
Ok ;D Do you know of any good brands?
I'm not a hipster :P But I know a few. And we all watch Portlandia.
I still wear skinny jeans alot. There's some good punk brands out there that do some pretty stylish skinnies with awesome patterns or or stripes etc. Most mainstream clothing companies sell skinny jeans nowdays though, with varying prices.
Tights/pantyhose are lovely (and practical in winter) to wear under clothes.
Feminine cut-blazers and jackets with nipped-in or tailored waists (tailoring and even nipped-in can look unisex, so its acceptable most of the time to wear tailored tops).
Buttoned-up shirts with rounded collars, (as they look a little like pretty blouses whilst still being shirts). Once again, this can be a hipster or preppy look.
Scarves - simply buy girls scarves.
Gloves - my gloves are black suede with cute bows on them :D You can't see the bows till you look very closely, so they are ideal for "covert crossdressing".
Thank you so much for the advice stella! I really needed that. Everyone says tights and pantyhose are amazing but I've never tried them. Would you recommend fitted t shirts? Some others recommended that.
Kisses,
Also, are there any women's shirts that I could feel pride in that are feminine that I wouldn't easily be called out in?
...Wear a skirt. Say that men in the middle east wear skirts. Use photographic evidence.
You might get grounded for that (You actually got grounded for shaving your legs? Wot). But I think it'd be worth it, skirts are awesome.
Maybe when my parents weren't home ;) Yes I did get grounded for shaving my legs before. >:( I still do it though(; they have no idea....I can't stand body hair ick!
:)
Well, I'm in my 40s, but I wear women's Levi's 505 with plain pockets almost exclusively when I'm not at work (where a man's suit is the norm and pretty much unavoidable - trans-hostile workplace). Even when I have to present as male in public I never get negative comments about my women's jeans. The men's and women's Levi's are similar enough that most people don't notice the difference, but feeling the slightly different fit and knowing they didn't come from the men's department at least makes me feel more feminine. Fancy pockets make it a little more likely that you'll be noticed.
Add some pantyhose or panties and socks and you've just dressed out half your body without being obvious. :) I also gravitate to unisex T-shirts in pastel colors, especially if I can find something with a V-neck. I'm seeing a lot of men wearing pink or purple dress shirts lately, so you can justify your color choices with that in mind if the pattern is fairly gender-neutral.
I'd much rather dress in a more obviously feminine manner, but at least this way I can remind myself that I am at least wearing a few things that are "correct" for the gender I feel.
V-Neck shirts, especially if they dip pretty low. Also a lot of 'emo'-type stuff, because they're basically girls clothes marketed to boys. :laugh: Really any clothes that might make you look 'gay', because they'll essentially be effeminate guy clothes. However, going for that kind of look could just give you different problems.. I suppose you could at least wear more 'girly' colours, like pinks, purples, and pastels. Maybe wear more accessories? Jewelry can often be unisex, like earrings for example. Eyeliner if you can pull it off, especially if you go for some emo, goth, or rocker styles. This might be a stretch, but a 'travel bag' like this could act as a purse: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007XAI4M6/ref=s9_hps_bw_g198_ir15?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=merchandised-search-7&pf_rd_r=0K9WFN5DZD17SYHX4XKD&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1615661222&pf_rd_i=2602603011
However, be warned, as benign as some of this stuff might seem, others might think differently and could make their own assumptions. I did most of this stuff at one point for similar reasons (living with my parents while they didn't know). Eventually, I think my mom got suspicious and went through my things one day while I was out. Found out from my sister that my mom found a purse or makeup bag in my closet, but she never mentioned it. Or this other time I bought a tight purple hoodie and my mom said I looked 'gay' wearing it. ::) Finally I got daring enough, I went out with my parents to a restaurant wearing a red v-neck t-shirt, I had long hair, wore my earrings, and carried my bag/purse. And I got a 'ma'am' from the waiter! I was both flattered and mortified. :laugh: So just be careful with all of this. Things might be fine individually, but don't go overboard if you don't want to get caught..
T-shirts are cool. Just be careful with the neckline or it wont look andro. Jumpers too can be nice especially in winter obv. Shoes too, get yourself some nice shoes, like feminine-ish or unisex ones. I bought some converse for the hipster skinny jeans look ;) . It is really easy to be dressed in 100% female or andro clothing and still not look particularly unusual. It is nice though cause you know what you are wearing even if to others it is a kinda male look.
Plus then when you are more out you got a bunch of clothes that you can wear differently for a more female style.
Thank you Ashey, Seras and Dana! All of this is excellent advice. I do have some v necks but they aren't womens which would make me feel better :-\ Dana where can I find those 505's they look great! Ashey you're so lucky, I wish I got called maam! Seras could you give me an example of more feminine shoes? I was thinking of getting some sperrys.
Well like I said I bought myself some Converse recently they are ok, they are real comfy and warm cause I got the ones with like sheepskin type bit inside. Not particularly male or female but they go well with skinny jeans and a lot of girls wear them so works for the look.
Some of those Sperrys look quite nice. Some of them look kinda old person shoes and not my style but I really like some of them. Like these ones from the UK site:
Women's Authentic Original Hoxton Boot
http://en.sperrytopsider.co.uk/commonimages/sperry/700x700/9267048_1_700x700.jpg
They look real nice! I might even get them now I saw them if they have my size. Expensive, like $200, though >:(
I like boot type shoes so long as they are not too high above the ankle and no not have heels then they can be cross dressed quite easily I think most of the time, depending on the style of course.
Or you can just grab some trainers or skate shoes you know, they are just like guys but normally nicer colours or whatever. So long as you do not get them in like bright pink or something then who is gonna say anything.
When your at the stage it sounds like you are now (I am not far ahead!) I think you just have to find something you like but will not "blow your cover" too much (especially with your parents giving you this grief). So just find something you like and buy it!
Ok Thanks Seras(;
:)
OK, I know this may sound weird, but it's what I did when I was young and still at school...
Sure I didn't have of my own clothes but my mother and sister had wardrobes full of the stuff. ;D And yes, their taste didn't much meet mine and nor did all of it fit, but for wearing about the house while they were out it didn't much matter. Never kept anything and made sure everything went back as I found it. Never got sprung...
That's what I've done with my sister's clothes :embarrassed: I've tried her bras and camis.
Some men also wear skirts here.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.elle.co.kr%2Fupload%2FNEWS%2F2010%2F04%2Fncd_100423012%2Fcontent%2F01AST012010042317290014427.jpg&hash=e714aaf64975592eb31d161c519d2dcd01fcad49)
barbie~~
Haha. I have before actually. Just not when my parents are around :angel:
Thanks for all the tips so far :) kisses, Kayla
Skirts are pretty common amongst the fashionable young guys in my city. Also, really long tees that are basically just dresses. I'm not talking goth guys either, just fashionable guys in their late teens/early twenties. Honestly, New Zealand fashion has been very andro for about 15 years. Look into kiwi labels like NomD, Company of Strangers, Zambezi, Soma... There are heaps of them, plus NZ fashion labels are cool, that will mean you're cool for wearing them :p
I've been wearing panties almost every day (wear boxers over them at work). Also got some boot cut jeans off amazon that aren't overtly feminine, not a fan of the tiny pockets though used to putting stuff in my pockets :(. The thing I like with the jeans is I got some cute wedges in black and the jeans just cover the wedge part so I've been wearing them out! Also I'm in the process of switching over to all girls socks and tee shirts. The little things I can do make me happy lol.
Nobody has mentioned vans? Vans are a unisex shoe, that have a men and womens size listed under every tongue and they come in every color. As for jeans, American eagle has the best skinny jeans. All in stretch denim so they are super comfy. Get a darker color so you can wear them without hassle but still feel girly. Definitely go for skinny jeans! I'm in the air force and out of uniform I only own and wear women's jeans, it's all about confidence. Sure some people have given me crap for it but they don't matter. Wear what makes you happy, being able to express femininity is an empowering feeling.. don't miss out on that because of people that don't matter.
Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on December 15, 2013, 04:18:27 PM
I am relatively new to owning any feminine clothing whatsoever. I have six pairs of panties to call my own but that is it, other than that it's strictly male clothing(blechh!) For those of you who haven't read any of my other posts, I am in high school and I've tried to come out to my parents but they don't believe me and say that it's just hormones and that I'm not sure of what I'm feeling so it's difficult for me to do much without being made fun of or losing friends or getting grounded by my parents(which has happened because I shaved my legs). Most of the time I desperately feel like I should have been born a girl. Does anybody know of ways that I can feel more feminine and feminine clothes that I could possibly upgrade my male waredrobe with?
Kisses,
I feel your pain sweetie, your panties are a good start and the tights/hold-ups/stockings are all easily hidden under other clothes. Shoes are a fun grey area, your parents probably wouldnt know the difference between male/female trainers and some winter boots can easily pass both ways.
Body hair is a big thing for me too, I have shaven my body hair since I began growing it (loong time ago :) and a couple of years ago I progressed onto an epilator which hurts like all the pits of hell but is SOOO worth it as you will be smooth for weeks and it grows back finer than if it is shaven.
What do you do with your hair? Long hair can be worn in a masculine mode when around your parents around and easily restyled into a feminine shape when they aren't.
Try accessorising too, matching hats gloves and scarves etc.
Find a shoulder bag/handbag that you can pass off as a courier bag type for your parents. Girls socks are different to guys believe it or not, so there is another way round it.
But the biggest piece of advice I can give is if you really feel this way see if you can get your parents to think seeing a therapist might help you, any good therapist will see how you are suffering in this ill fitting male role and hopefully help your parents accept it instead of 'curing' you
xxx
even tho ive been living as a female for almost a year. my outfit in my avatar picture is almost 90% unisexed cloths, a stripped sweeter, semi tight skinny jeans (in the butt and thighs) and the only thing really feminine is the bra and my over coat
Thank you for all your support ladies! :) I like vans and have owned a couple of pairs before.
I don't know about where you are but tights under pants are a matter of survival for me in the sudden severe cold snap here! When wearing a skirt the fleece-lined tights are great but I realize you're not going so 'exposed' yet.
I think I might try to get some cute tops and maybe get some ladies jeans ;D Does anybody have any suggestions?
Kisses
Untill you find something you really like, id just recommend Leevi's from walmart, cheap and not to expensive till you find a style/cut you like.
Look for an androgynouswardrobe, grow out that hair and get into some girly things. Also try and reach out to your local lgbt center and they can definitely help find a therapist and even a doctor to go to. Trust me parents can be tricky but if they truly love you they will learn to accept and love the new you. Oh yeah look at some '70's and '80's rockers especially David Bowie, it was a very androgynous scene back then.
Thank you for the tips! Is there a specific cut of jeans that would be best? Any other suggestions of clothes are still good too :)
:)
Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on December 17, 2013, 11:45:52 AM
Thank you for the tips! Is there a specific cut of jeans that would be best? Any other suggestions of clothes are still good too :)
Well I'm a fan of skinny and boot cut jeans. I really like the way they feel on me. Nice and snug.
Sounds like a good option :) I'd like mine to be snug.
:)
I like the super skinny jeans from hottopic. After I started wearing the guys skinny jeans one day I just wore my girls skinny jeans to school and nobody knew the difference, so if you don't mind having a little patience some things can be eased into so that no one will notice. Also I got some Converses, which since they are all unisex nobody can really say anything (I got neon green pink ones) and I also got girls socks, which my parents asked about and I told the the truth that girls socks are waaaay cheaper then guys socks (it's so unfair :P.) And now I look like an emo/punk rocker with really colorful shoes. :P And I love aeropostale's V-neck t-shirts they are soft. :) One other thing make sure you understand the size conversions for stuff before you go on a shopping spree. <3
Thanks Blastradius! I'll definately look into those aeropostale shirts and some girls socks(;
In regards to Aeropostale t shirts, a couple of years ago, I had an aeropostale shirt that I got from a Plato's closet that i'm pretty sure was a girls shirt(The label inside was all cursive and feminine) but my parents had no idea because it was in the guys section. It was my favorite shirt ;D
I assume that you are not yet on hormones. When you start on HRT You will soon find that when wearing T shirts your breasts will show(not a bad thing),but you will be seen as female. as you can see in my profile pic.
I haven't come out yet and so appear in public as male. However, I have taken to wear skinny jeans and solid colour T-shirts, especially in black, red, sky blue, purple ..This like 60-70 % of the time allows me to pass as a girl without raising too many questions from friends and family ..
I can't wait to start on hormones then! I really wish I had breasts :embarrassed:
On another note, does anybody have suggestions of something feminine I could wear to bed? Also, any other ideas for daily wear that I can start slowly replacing my boy wardrobe with ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdm.victoriassecret.com%2Fproduct%2F240x320%2FV371847_S87.jpg&hash=bdfe2440ba9513e42c01840e0e4794f0c8b78672) I love this top :) Is it too risky?
Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on December 18, 2013, 07:50:22 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdm.victoriassecret.com%2Fproduct%2F240x320%2FV371847_S87.jpg&hash=bdfe2440ba9513e42c01840e0e4794f0c8b78672) I love this top :) Is it too risky?
Well, the sleeves are more fitted than a guy's shirt probably would be. The neckline is not only quite low, but rounded. You likely wouldn't see that on a guy's shirt. Can't tell about the cut or fit though, but I'm going to guess it would also have a 'female fit' to it. All these things will probably give it away, unless you can pull off looking very 'gay'. Some people can look at a guy casually wearing some women's clothes and think 'oh, he's just gay'.. so I would think it depends on a lot of factors, like how you portray yourself (behaviours and whatnot) as to how people would treat you wearing that top. If you seem masculine enough, I'm sure some eyebrows would be raised, and questions asked..
;)Thanks Ashey
Hey kaylagirl0806!
Hows it going with the new wardrobe. Such really good suggestions here, yes Vans, spiffing idea as well! Young fashion can be very adaptable and androgynous, too.
As for jeans, skinnies are a great start, especially when they seem to make your ankles seem smaller (they seem to make mine look smaller). Flared jeans are also now associated with a feminine silhouette (despite their unisex appeal in decades past). High-waisted jeans made for females are also good, as they are a specific shape and tend to pull in the waist a little, whilst appearing to reduce the height of the chest at the same time.
Fabrics! Very important. Some fabrics are exclusive to one gender. Shiny fabrics almost are the preserve of women, as are nylon and man-made fibres in bright colours. I have some women's trouser suits which are juuuuuuust about passable as a male wardrobe, unless you look closely. The fabric tends to shimmer slightly, its much softer and clings to the skin a little when there is movement, (which feels absolutely gorgeous!), so very different to male fabrics which do not have that sensual appeal, as men are not meant to have such appreciation for such tactile experiences (I don't believe men do not have such appreciations, despite the fact that women's skin can be more sensitive). There's a definite difference with the colour and texture of male and female jeans as well. Female jeans (at least with young fashions) tend to be softer to the touch, and with a more delicate or bolder colour, whilst men's jeans tend to be more workmanlike, generally and with a subtly different colour variation.
It can take a while to build an androgynous wardrobe that can both allow you to "pass" as male, whilst still allowing you to feel feminine. I've just about gotten there :p After much experimentation at cheap trendy shops like the UK's Primark. I now have a wardrobe that's got clothes that are passably male but with overtly female flourishes. Its a VERY fine balance and I can see people look me up and down, see the feminine elements and raise their eyebrows, but then see the fact I'm not wearing - for instance - an an obvious blouse, heels, or a skirt. So the result is that they just view me as eccentric :p And don't question the gender.
Feel free to message me if you like. I'm not an expert and I happily make fails (all part of the experimentation), but I worked at a department store and dressed the male and female mannequins so that really helped me to design a feminine yet masculine wardrobe.
;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1356.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq739%2FTOmirandaTS%2FDP0613201317054843Mtif_zpsf85b5bf1.jpeg&hash=935d0b2a4ae0c7c461ee41264bcade7c69b27c07) (http://s1356.photobucket.com/user/TOmirandaTS/media/DP0613201317054843Mtif_zpsf85b5bf1.jpeg.html)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1356.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq739%2FTOmirandaTS%2FDP0912201318191472Ctif_zpsd9afc3fc.jpeg&hash=7bac61993aec07f54744b217d1c7841bb3fad15c) (http://s1356.photobucket.com/user/TOmirandaTS/media/DP0912201318191472Ctif_zpsd9afc3fc.jpeg.html)
I think boatneck and v neck t-shirts with 3/4 sleeves is a good start. It's pretty feminine but I think you could get away with it. Some of the other girls mentioned jewelry, which can be androgynous too, but Kayla, you don't even have to mention being transgendered when you talk to your parents about needing a psychologist. Tell them your depression is getting worse and if they ask you, you can tell them the truth, but you don't have to. The point is getting to a therapist so you can talk to him/her about your need to be female. From the sound of it you're not a cross dresser, but trans. Little things like having little bits of pink on your tennis shoes that you buy on the girl's side of the shoe store, pantyhose, and most of the things others have told you will help. Girls flannel PJ's feel really feminine but you can get white or yellow, they don't have to be pink. How about getting your ears pierced? That was the first thing I did and it was wonderful. You could get your hair cut at a salon where there are often sympathetic cis-women, gays and androgynous guys who'd know what to buy and where, how to cut your hair to make it passable as a male but fixable to female too. Just tell them you've got parents that grounded you for shaving your legs and that you're not looking to make a statement, you're looking to FEEL feminine. Good luck and God bless you, Kayla. Mira
I did it :( I purged and now I regret it. Am now trying to replenish my feminine items. I have six pairs of panties, dove deodorant, compact makeup, (I think it's in the wrong shade though :() and eyelash curlers. I've made a resolution to myself for this year to be true to my female desires :) Any suggestions for things to buy or do are very welcome :)
Love you all!,
Kayla