*sigh* It's been a stressful December here, and it's got me feeling down. (Don't worry, this isn't a 911 post; I'm not _that_ bad off.) My work schedule keeps me from getting proper sleep which isn't helping. Add to that ongoing worries about money. More and more, I find myself longing for a "correct" body, for full transition. I know it's only a matter of time before I find a less hostile workplace and can socially transition, but tight finances make the physical side feel impossibly far away. I worry about coming out to my family, yet I am also saddened by the thought of spending yet another Christmas pretending to be something that feels so wrong. The real clincher is that my grandfather passed yesterday. I miss him. I also feel a sense of relief that I'll never have to come out to him, and that makes me feel guilty for feeling relief that he's gone.
At least I have a wonderful and totally supportive spouse to help me get through these times.
If I don't get a chance to come online before the holidays are over, I hope you all have Good Cheer and Blessings. Give someone you love a hug. :)
We all have a down time. Tomorrow will come, enjoy each day for the good that comes.
Happy Holidays,
HUGS!!!!
Jen
Sorry about your Grandfather. Give your spouse an extra big hug and enjoy the good in the holidays. Sending smiles and a bright and shiny day your way!
Great big hugs,
Cindy
Thanks. Sometimes it helps just to put it into words.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. The holidays are always stressful, and that's without the huge added pressures placed on you right now.
You'll get through it. Take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time if you have to. And if you need a break or somewhere to vent, we're here. :)