Just feel so trapped right now. I know everything I need to do to get better and I'm just not allowed and its driving me crazy. My skin feels like its crawling and the real me just wants to rip out of my body. Getting told a referral would be put in and then having it taken away is just killing my desire to do anything. I know I'll still get to transition in the future, but my brain/body can't except that. Just needed to vent and try and keep myself from spending christmas back in the pysch hospital cause I'm terreting on the edge. End vent.
i know the feeling, back when i was waiting for my referral to meet the psych that gatekeeps hrt in alberta i felt like i wasn't going anywhere, like my body was falling apart and i couldn't do anything to save it, all i can say is that when your referral goes through and you start trucking on again with progressing towards your transition you will have a sigh of relief and that is what you need to focus on, you need to think about how amazing it will be when you get your next milestone, and not how you are just waiting for someone else to get there arse in gear because they are holding your life up