Sometimes we just want to say something and there is no thread for it.
So here it is!
I'm feeling the after Christmas let down stuff, feel fine but Mmmm I don't know, all that effort and today is another day. Life goes on.
For me, it has always been a relief that it is over. There is so much that goes into one day. Here in the states, it's interfering with Thanksgiving with stores this year opening before the pumpkin pie is served. Anyway, another reason that I'm glad it's over is that it was the first without my gf. She is nearing her post-op stage (SRS next summer). We haven't spoken in nearly 5 months although I did send her a birthday card this month.
I'm looking for a better 2014 that is for certain.
While Christmas is always a difficult time for me due to a variety of reasons, I'm glad it's over for another year. I'm finding it troubling the changes E is having on my mind as my body start to transform. Sometimes I love it yet other time he fights back. While it doesn't cause as much anxiety as I had originally feared it still is an interesting discussion going on in my head. Recently I saw myself in the mirror as her and not him. Interesting and surprising. It did make me both happy and sad.
Oh well. Any others here have similar feelings going on inside.
I know I'e been ranting about it a lot, but I'm still very sad that my parent couldn't provide me the only one thing I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. It's not like they would have had to spend any money on it.
Hi sis. Just saw your post, lots of it going around. We are a bit over it down here too. Tomorrow we can get back to the real world, and really relax rather than the pseudo-relaxation of Christmas. Love from Andrea and I. xx
In England our Xmas stretches on for at least a week and maybe ten days if a weekend gets in the way (Today's UK headline is UK might get stronger than Germany soon! The guy who wrote that must have been overdosing on Xmas booze!)
Today is Boxing Day from Ye Anciente Custom of bosses giving servants a Xmas box or a bit of extra cash not because of fighting, when I was young relatives used to refere to gifts as Xmas box.
Mainly the day is a lazy one of more food and booze and rubbish telly except for those who have cash to go to the super sales in the retail outlets.
We had frost overnight but its warmed to about 40degrees now so after lunch I'll go walk round with my video camera.
Downstairs people have been really quiet so far after last night's bust-up.
The kids next door playing in their swimming pool, sounds of fun!
11 years 11.30pm
I love you
Boxing day here and I suppose it depends on how you ask me about today.
Ya see, yesterday was great. Mary made son a hand made sweater and he liked it so after that Mary could likely call the rest of the day gravy.
She has looked down and anti Christmas bummed out for a week, so frankly seeing her smile made MY day, and after that I was able to relax a lot more.
Me, my day was mainly up danged early and 'come on we got to do presents as I need to get to mom's so I can make the dinner'. So I was glad the son was up promptly (some years the day here doesn't begin to near noon). My turkey dinner prep helped (previous days I had down all the slice and dice and prelim) so the cooking of the meal was real basic.
The weather was sunny and crisp (which I liked).
Managed to get a ton of baking done, so it felt like Christmas of 20 years ago when mom used to do it all. I have become my mom. My brother is due on 27 from Ottawa so he gets a gift package of the classics he likes and a box of same for my sister to take back with him. so regardless of what gender they perceive me as, I am clearly not the same person the remember :) (20 years ago the idea I do all the baking would get laughs).
Now as for going out today for Boxing Day sales, if you listen to my feet, it goes something like this 'yooooou stuuuuupid ^%#@$$@ bitch, do you really think I care if you find that ^%$#^%@ night gown you want at half off?
My feet have a different view of the holidays :)
The silly day is past, yeah it's a holiday meant for a religion I have no connection with, so what, my mom is Christian.
I consider it a great opportunity to bake and have a nice turkey dinner. And they never sell turkeys routinely in the stores otherwise, so you use those dates when you can eh.
We only managed to hack up half the bird, so it means turkey sandwiches (which again my feet don't care about hehe) and turkey soup later in the week (oh stop whining feet), and likely a nice meal new years day still ahead.
And through it all, I have the people I want present, and I won't be spending even a second regretting anyone that doesn't wish to be part of my life not joining in. It just means more cookies and squares and brownies etc etc etc for me :)
Enjoy life people, because no one is going to do it for you.
Cindy, thanks so very much for the thread.
If I had to make a topic, I would probably title it "How do I behave like a Guy :p"
My childhood friends who I meet like once a year during Christmas and who have no clue about me being trans are giving me hell. I met them (no full time for me yet) today and the entire dinner was about "a guy doesn't talk that way" or "doesn't sit knee over knee".. or "doesn't walk or talk in certain manner".. it was so frustrating to try and act like the way they wanted me to act. I just wanted to beat the stereo type gender behaviour out of their heads..
Please do let me know what do I do? I just feel sooo stuck .. I have transitioned sooo much in looks and behaviour that I no longer remember "how do guys behave" .. guess I need to attend a refresher class or something .. :p :p :p :p
Quote from: karahayes on December 26, 2013, 04:41:29 AM
For me, it has always been a relief that it is over. There is so much that goes into one day. Here in the states, it's interfering with Thanksgiving with stores this year opening before the pumpkin pie is served. Anyway, another reason that I'm glad it's over is that it was the first without my gf. She is nearing her post-op stage (SRS next summer). We haven't spoken in nearly 5 months although I did send her a birthday card this month.
I'm looking for a better 2014 that is for certain.
The Christmas stuff was in stores before Halloween!
Quote from: ssneha23 on December 26, 2013, 09:31:04 AM
Cindy, thanks so very much for the thread.
If I had to make a topic, I would probably title it "How do I behave like a Guy :p"
My childhood friends who I meet like once a year during Christmas and who have no clue about me being trans are giving me hell. I met them (no full time for me yet) today and the entire dinner was about "a guy doesn't talk that way" or "doesn't sit knee over knee".. or "doesn't walk or talk in certain manner".. it was so frustrating to try and act like the way they wanted me to act. I just wanted to beat the stereo type gender behaviour out of their heads..
Please do let me know what do I do? I just feel sooo stuck .. I have transitioned sooo much in looks and behaviour that I no longer remember "how do guys behave" .. guess I need to attend a refresher class or something .. :p :p :p :p
Screw them honey, just be you and move on with your feminine life. Take it from me who once de-transition under familial and societal pressures, you don't want to be back-stepping because it's harder on your heart, body and soul and you needn't stress yourself out pretending just to suit someone else.
I agree with Shantel. It must be hard to get such reactions from friends you've had so long, but don't let them worry you too much. If you only see them once a year, perhaps even consider not seeing them at all. That's harsh, I know. But don't let anybody but yourself control how you walk, talk or sit. That is not someone's else's decision.
Every Christmas there are the usual presentations on television that we like to watch just to get into the spirit of things, "The Christmas Carol", here in the states "The Homecoming," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" a hilarious story from a young boy's perspective played by Peter Billingsly. It seems like the money grubbing Grinch made that story a pay per view film only this year. The bastards! >:-)
Quote from: ssneha23 on December 26, 2013, 09:31:04 AM
Cindy, thanks so very much for the thread.
If I had to make a topic, I would probably title it "How do I behave like a Guy :p"
My childhood friends who I meet like once a year during Christmas and who have no clue about me being trans are giving me hell. I met them (no full time for me yet) today and the entire dinner was about "a guy doesn't talk that way" or "doesn't sit knee over knee".. or "doesn't walk or talk in certain manner".. it was so frustrating to try and act like the way they wanted me to act. I just wanted to beat the stereo type gender behaviour out of their heads..
Please do let me know what do I do? I just feel sooo stuck .. I have transitioned sooo much in looks and behaviour that I no longer remember "how do guys behave" .. guess I need to attend a refresher class or something .. :p :p :p :p
What do you do? Take it as a compliment.
Whenever someone tells you you're not doing what a typical guy does, smile sweetly and say "Okay, thanks for letting me know. Very useful information. Honestly, I would be lost without you. Those years spent questioning and studying the whole of humanity weren't wasted at all." Oh, and nod sagely. That all adds to the effect.
Then remember that you're not one, and you're just being yourself. And people are noticing. Which is a good thing. It's an affirmation of who you are.
When, and only when, that treatment progresses to the stage of them actively telling you how, exactly, you're supposed to act... well,
then you can smile equally sweetly and tell them to firmly insert several rabid rodents into a convenient orifice and go hide in a hole for several months, wearing nothing but their underwear. Since that's how dictators act.
Don't forget the sage nodding, too. That's very important. :)
I think it's VERY unfair that my favorite college football team has to play the Alabama Crimson Tide in the BCS Sugar Bowl.
I'll watch, but I won't enjoy it one bit! :(
Quote from: Shantel on December 26, 2013, 01:32:13 PM
Every Christmas there are the usual presentations on television that we like to watch just to get into the spirit of things, "The Christmas Carol", here in the states "The Homecoming," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" a hilarious story from a young boy's perspective played by Peter Billingsly. It seems like the money grubbing Grinch made that story a pay per view film only this year. The bastards! >:-)
It is shown on TBS or TNT for 24 hours starting 8 pm Christmas Eve.
Also......
PORTIA RULES!Yep. ;D
I love it when Christmas is done, because that means the New Year, with new hope and (hopefully) better outcomes is about to start!
I've only just begun to realize that "New Year" can happen every day....every day is a New Day, each with its own hopes and outcomes...indeed, one could argue that each hour, each minute, each moment has this kind of opportunity..!
My parting shot for 2013 is the realization that I am truly a woman, and no longer "transitioning" although I still have a few...procedural...things to do yet. I've had the opportunity (in the past month) to experience life, sex, and relationships as a male, and as a female...and I now know that even with the best encouragement I simply cannot be a man.
Happy New Moment, everyone!
I like New Year because there's no pressure about how you should spend it. Nobody cares if someone watches movies and eats popcorn by themselves. If you say that about Christmas there's something wrong with you.
--Jay
Quote from: Shantel on December 26, 2013, 01:32:13 PM
Every Christmas there are the usual presentations on television that we like to watch just to get into the spirit of things, "The Christmas Carol", here in the states "The Homecoming," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" a hilarious story from a young boy's perspective played by Peter Billingsly. It seems like the money grubbing Grinch made that story a pay per view film only this year. The bastards! >:-)
Grinch is right! 'A Christmas Story' ranks up there with 'It's a Wonderful Life' for Christmas time viewing, but I missed both of these this year, first time since I don't know when, I preferred listening to just Christmas music this year.
I didn't watch much of "A Christmas Story" this year for the first time ever. I was too busy socializing with family members, watching all of the kids freak out over their presents, :) and navigating the resulting minefield from discarded wrapping paper and boxes. Once I got back home I did watch the following:
Get Along Gang "various episodes including 'Snowbound Showdown'. It's not a Christmas themed episode but is about them screwing around during the Christmas break out at Pine Ridge.
League Of Gentlemen "Christmas Special" (The soundtrack in this is friggin brilliant!)
TaleSpin "A Jolly Molly Christmas" and a few other episodes that weren't holiday themed.
Quote from: Nikko on December 26, 2013, 02:57:54 PM
Grinch is right! 'A Christmas Story' ranks up there with 'It's a Wonderful Life' for Christmas time viewing, but I missed both of these this year, first time since I don't know when, I preferred listening to just Christmas music this year.
I have never seen either of these shows.
It's all about Christmas Vacation!
And Love Actually is becoming a tradition to watch for me as well :) A tearjerker, but good lord do I have a crush on the prime minister's girlfriend. I think the first time I saw the movie I just wanted to straight up be her, but now that I have transitioned I just have a huge girl crush.
Quote from: Jennygirl on December 26, 2013, 03:17:44 PM
It's all about Christmas Vacation!
I saw that with a few of my cousins and my aunt when that was shown in the theaters.
Another film I like is the Christmas Story "sequel". It's really not one, though. It's actually more of a continuation of the storyline with Ralphie as a teenager. Most of the cast was pretty good, but I didn't care for the pair that played Ralphie's parents. But it would be impossible to top Melinda Dillon & Darren McGavin.
Quote from: Shantel on December 26, 2013, 01:32:13 PM
Every Christmas there are the usual presentations on television that we like to watch just to get into the spirit of things, "The Christmas Carol", here in the states "The Homecoming," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" a hilarious story from a young boy's perspective played by Peter Billingsly. It seems like the money grubbing Grinch made that story a pay per view film only this year. The bastards! >:-)
There's only one movie for me which makes it feel like Christmas.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
John Candy, you're missed.
Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2013, 03:27:52 PM
There's only one movie for me which makes it feel like Christmas.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
John Candy, you're missed.
That movie rules! I keep saying I am going to pick it up on DVD but I always forget to do it.
Quote from: Jennygirl on December 26, 2013, 03:17:44 PM
It's all about Christmas Vacation!
When Clark cuts down his snooty neighbor's evergreen tree (to replace his burned up tree) and slowly pulls it back out of their shattered window as they watch..................... priceless. ;)
Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2013, 03:27:52 PM
There's only one movie for me which makes it feel like Christmas.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
John Candy, you're missed.
Yes!
Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2013, 03:27:52 PM
There's only one movie for me which makes it feel like Christmas.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
John Candy, you're missed.
I think the reason I liked this movie so much was (well, besides it being hilarious and very moving at the end ::))... I've been to Wichita Kansas twice before in my life, both were horrible experiences. They nailed the typical experience one has in that h-hole.
Today it is quiet, a return to work. Time to get the things done I should have prior to vacation. I don't really feel down so much as mellow or perhaps just a little sad. It was a good Christmas, one of so very few I have had.
They are in denial and would accept me only as him. So I was him, for a few days. One...last..time. I fixed things, I drove them everywhere, I cut up the ham, I played. I took my step-granddaughter shopping and got her what ever she wanted. She got a makeup kit. There were frowns when I offered to show her how to put it all on. Yet, it and that part of my life are now over. He is almost gone. I have said goodby on a high note. Not bad, not bad at all. :) :( :)
Hugs,
Jen :)
This is silly!
The last few days I've come home from work etc and taken my bra off with great relief, I used to come home and put one on (one that then physically I did not need!)
Quote from: Cindy on December 27, 2013, 02:46:41 AM
This is silly!
The last few days I've come home from work etc and taken my bra off with great relief, I used to come home and put one on (one that then physically I did not need!)
Welcome to the sisterhood. :)
How is Sydney? The shop queues for the sales were looney here. Why would anyone join them!
Nice and warm though - feeling good!
Oh Microsoft just phoned wanting access to my computer. How considerate of them :laugh: I'm pretty sure they were Microsoft India.
Thank god christmas is over!!! It was by far the worst day for me, but I survived it. I even refused to open a gift the home gave me. instead I smashed it and threw it away. I know what it was and just did not want to be reminded of how bad my day was (a photo of myself, my dad and stepmom at the home's annual christmas party that I'll never go to again)
Shops were Looney as you say so after I saw a movie today I had to escape the crowds. Went to Eastgardens and it was just madness.
Nice day in Sydney, not too hot.
Microsoft, R i g h t . . .
That's why I screen all calls at home. Only friends leave a message. So no one leaves a message. :-\
:D
What did you see?
When I asked the young man from Microsoft for his credit card number he hung up :laugh:
Saw the second Hobbit movie. Wasn't too bad but felt a bit padded out as a lot oh his movies are. At least is was better than the first one.
I hate theatres as others are there and they are so insensitive and rude.
It will be much better when the blue ray comes out so I can watch it at home.
I have a very nice set up as I love movies.
Nice move Sis always gets them.
Quote from: Jennygirl on December 26, 2013, 03:17:44 PM
A tearjerker, but good lord do I have a crush on the prime minister's girlfriend.
I think we have similar taste in crushes. :)
Thinks of Natalie... *swoon*
Love Actually is an amazing movie. One of my favorite movies.
And I hate you now, because now I have "Christmas is All Around Us" stuck in my head.
Quote from: Jenny07 on December 27, 2013, 04:08:49 AM
Saw the second Hobbit movie. Wasn't too bad but felt a bit padded out as a lot oh his movies are. At least is was better than the first one.
I hate theatres as others are there and they are so insensitive and rude.
It will be much better when the blue ray comes out so I can watch it at home.
I have a very nice set up as I love movies.
Nice move Sis always gets them.
I hate and loath cinema and love film, -people are just so rude. Eat crisps, go to the toilet, talk ARRRRGH
Anyone else saw the MRI scans on the dead salmon!
Quote from: Cindy on December 27, 2013, 05:26:24 AM
I hate and loath cinema and love film, -people are just so rude. Eat crisps, go to the toilet, talk ARRRRGH
Movie Theaters suck. It is better to just buy a large screen TV (or better yet, have one gifted to you. ;D) and a decent surround sound system.
Quote from: Cindy on December 27, 2013, 05:50:45 AM
Anyone else saw the MRI scans on the dead salmon!
No. What did it show?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on December 27, 2013, 01:26:26 PM
No. What did it show?
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/09/fmrisalmon/
It was thinking or at least it could be determine to be emotive.
Quote from: Cindy on December 28, 2013, 12:52:31 AM
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/09/fmrisalmon/
It was thinking or at least it could be determine to be emotive.
Oh. I thought that maybe they were getting tumors from the Fukushima thing.
Talking about tumors, I spent the entire day yesterday at a hospital where my baby sister was having a uterine fibroid as big as a grapefruit removed along with a few smaller ones. She is tiny and it was causing her extreme discomfort. She was in surgery four hours, it was performed via robotics through two small slits. I asked the surgeon what causes these, she said they have no idea, some women just get them. And there are some of us here that wish for female internal plumbing? Uh - I think not!