Im having an issue.
I have this significant other who said he would help me through transition when i was ready. Money, place to live, emotional and moral support. But agreed to an open relationship. I dont want to hold him back if he falls in love with another girl.
But im afraid that..im falling in love with him...
This is a problem for me partially because of my last relationship. In a way im afraid of falling in love again and getting hurt again.
The other part is i dont want to disappoint him if things dont go as planned.
Any advice?
A little background. Im planning on transitioning to bring out the woman in me. As well as find out who i truly am. Ive only done research as of now but i plan to move forward very soon.
Sounds convinient to be honest,,,
though you mention no details,,,
Quote from: Emo on December 28, 2013, 11:53:36 PM
Im having an issue.
I have this significant other who said he would help me through transition when i was ready. Money, place to live, emotional and moral support. But agreed to an open relationship. I dont want to hold him back if he falls in love with another girl.
But im afraid that..im falling in love with him...
This is a problem for me partially because of my last relationship. In a way im afraid of falling in love again and getting hurt again.
The other part is i dont want to disappoint him if things dont go as planned.
Any advice?
A little background. Im planning on transitioning to bring out the woman in me. As well as find out who i truly am. Ive only done research as of now but i plan to move forward very soon.
This is a grey area for me... Mostly because I personally haven't been in this position and I plan to just stay single until my transition is.. for the most part, pretty far into it.
But if he says he will be there for you and help support you in any way he can then I'd say.. trust him. It's difficult to find someone who's willing to go through these things with a person who's transitioning, and it's not easy for either side. So let him be apart of it. Being afraid to trust or love him is only going to run you into vicious circles. There may be a time in life where you both may or may not go separate ways, but he's here for you now and I say (hopefully it doesn't come off harshly, cause I don't mean it to), enjoy your time with him to the best you can.
Enjoy the now, worry about later when you cross that bridge.
Hope that helps =x
Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 29, 2013, 12:17:09 AM
Sounds convinient to be honest,,,
though you mention no details,,,
What details would you need? :/
@jerred
It does help. Thank you.
It wasnt harsh. The truth is what matters.
I was in relationship for nearly 2yrs with someone transitioning (male-to-female). Needless to say, I wish we had never met or met during different phases/places in our life. My gf dealt with severe depression leading to suicidal thoughts. I was there for her to try to get her through the rough times. In addition, I was dealing with the pending death of my father who was in a nursing home. We both met on a dating site for those who were cross-dressers/transgenders. She knew that I dabbled in cross-dressing and had no issues as long as I did it on my own time. She told me that if I decided to transition, our relationship would be over, but she would support me.
Well, our relationship ended this past April as she fell for another male to female transgender. I was heartbroken, but it was probably best given that we drifted apart. This was due in part to the emotional toll that is associated with someone who transitions with the intent of having SRS. I love her to this day and wonder perhaps if we may reconnect one day?
Every situation is different. Life is all about timing and how you choose to live it.
Quote from: karahayes on December 29, 2013, 01:12:52 AM
I was in relationship for nearly 2yrs with someone transitioning (male-to-female). Needless to say, I wish we had never met or met during different phases/places in our life. My gf dealt with severe depression leading to suicidal thoughts. I was there for her to try to get her through the rough times. In addition, I was dealing with the pending death of my father who was in a nursing home. We both met on a dating site for those who were cross-dressers/transgenders. She knew that I dabbled in cross-dressing and had no issues as long as I did it on my own time. She told me that if I decided to transition, our relationship would be over, but she would support me.
Well, our relationship ended this past April as she fell for another male to female transgender. I was heartbroken, but it was probably best given that we drifted apart. This was due in part to the emotional toll that is associated with someone who transitions with the intent of having SRS. I love her to this day and wonder perhaps if we may reconnect one day?
Every situation is different. Life is all about timing and how you choose to live it.
Aww..
Ive felt hurt like this.
Similar situations.
Idk if i should tell him my feelings or just let him be.
Id deffinately charish the moments i have with him..
Im just a bit miffed by it. If i bottle it up, itll just continue to grow..
If i tell him, i fear what happens everytime i say the L word...
Hhhm I dont know...those kind of relationships are always tricky...
I mean who would do something like this for you if he didnt love you??
Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 29, 2013, 02:00:39 AM
Hhhm I dont know...those kind of relationships are always tricky...
I mean who would do something like this for you if he didnt love you??
The last one said she loved me too. Then everything went downhill.
Not sure how guys react to this but it still gives me a feeling of dred like i know what will happen next.
Well if you love him then it cant be helped ...
but you never know what happens with relationships , it can go well or bad , you wont know until you actually tell him how you feel etc
Quote from: Emo on December 28, 2013, 11:53:36 PM
Any advice?
Yes.
Falling in love is a feeling. Feelings are OK.
BUT...
You don't have to act on it. Falling in love happens in a part of your brain that doesn't consider consequences, doesn't weight pros and cons, just wants what it wants.
You don't need to be ruled by that.
You can decide to recognize your feelings as they are, impulses, not decisions.
True connection comes from months or years of being with someone and realizing that you are both helping each other to be better than you both would be without.
Ask yourself whether being in an open relationship is what you need? Is it what will help you grow? Or will it generate anxiety and insecurity? Answer these questions honestly, and then act, not on your feelings, but on what you DECIDE is what will truly be best for you.
Good luck, Emo. I hope this helps.
@suzi
something i forgot to mention.
when i made my decision that im ready to transition, i left out love and was planning on being alone but happy.
i told him to keep it open. hes attracted to females physically and that would be an issue right away.
growth is something ive been thinking of a lot lately. and im not sure whats best for me to do that tho. it could generate a lot of anxiety but again i was planning on being alone anyways.
it did help btw. it narrows it down to just the bare bones decision.
Sorry to say but every intimate relationship that's ever gone bust has usually had one or both parties say "I love you" or "I'll always love you" at some point. Doesn't stop them from breaking things off when they decide differently, get bored, find someone else, get a job in another city or whatever reason. Yes, I'm cynical. ;)
@grace
Lol i know this. Thats why im stuck.
He said he loves me.................
Eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh........ o___o
This is a situation...
I told him i love him tonite...
Waiting for explosions.
Well, I hope the best for you feather. Be strong, I know you are.
Keep telling us how are you going with he, I will be happy to know. ;)
Im not feather but thank you for the support. Ill definitely keep you posted if youre interested. :p
wow how nice and sweet :) :) :)
I am hoping the best for you.
Thanks guys. Things havent blown up yet so things are looking up. :D
Pls keep us updated I love love stories like this!!
:) :) :)
or tell us more , how did you meet? his age etc
or am I too curious???? :P ::)
Lol. No. Ill tell you anything if you ask. :p
Hes just a year older than me. And this is gonna sound weird but we met on the internet. Another forum.
I had told him everything, spilling my guts in pms and he helped me through some tough schizz. And now i guess you could say we're "going steady".
I broke my #1 rule of not falling in love on the internet. I cant help it tho. Theres too much to love. :)
Quote from: Emo on January 16, 2014, 11:32:16 PM
The love i had is beginning to fade...
I hate myself for this...
Broke up with him...
Im the worst...
Not the worst. I released the only person who could ever fill a hollow in my heart. They loved me more than life.
If you really value what you had, try to undo it before it is too late.
I value what he did for me..
But i cant expect him to give everything and me to give nothing...
Its not right.