i noticed a lot of feminine type things i'm not really good at that cis women are really good at, i'm not really good at feeling emotion for other people, (especially other women) for example, a home girl of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend and roxanne, myself, and her were in her room, i was listening to roxanne try to calm her down and i just sat there and couldn't stop laughing because she was whining and crying into a cup and it was making an echoey noise and just looked like a sloppy mess with her hair a hella mess and just disheveled (which i found really amusing) for the most part, i think a lot of things that women ( ALL women) cry and b*tch about really dumb stuff, so in that sense, i do come off a little cold, for the most part, i'm just like, get over it, i feel like i have more patience though than a lot of women, if my boyfriend goes out with his friends for a night, i'm not really at his neck about it since i'm not the jealous type and like how a lot of women hate when their boyfriends play video games a lot, i don't really mind, i really enjoy watching him play games, especially because we're both gamers, but what sort of feminine qualities do you lack? jw if i'm the only one who noticed this
I have pretty bad handwriting.. I notice most girls have really good hand writing.
Thats kind of it.. though it has gotten moar pretty on HRT.
I.. don't think I'd laugh in that situation.. And usually when I do giggle a little it makes things a bit more cheery.
i always had bad writing too, i'm better at typing on computers, i honestly don't even know how to write in cursive :/ but yes, it was her reaction what had me laughing, not that she was sad, just so over the top
Talking,I sound like Lemmy from Motorhead
lol kim
I do not get "frightened" or "freak out" or "scared".... by spiders, bugs, animals, darkness, strange places, or people...
well spiders and bugs are another story, i can't stand them lol. i love horror movies, and find people who are "scared" of them, annoying and i'm just like, it's just a movie for chr*st sake
Lets see...
Yes, bad handwriting is one. But I'm working on it.
And still getting used to idle chitchat with strangers in bathroom & other queues.
Quote from: latoya. on December 29, 2013, 05:10:15 PM
for example, a home girl of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend and roxanne, myself, and her were in her room, i was listening to roxanne try to calm her down and i just sat there and couldn't stop laughing because she was whining and crying into a cup and it was making an echoey noise and just looked like a sloppy mess with her hair a hella mess and just disheveled (which i found really amusing)
Females tend to be more empathetic than males... so yeah, that is one of the reasons women think that most males are jerks when it comes to emotional situations...
How long how you being taking estrogen?
My voice needs epic work. I am an actor/singer so I have training on my side... my baritone works against me. Also, I just feel dumb, trying to sound like myself and failing, so I am in limbo, using my resonant chest voice. It is something I want to move past and perfect. I fear surgery but am really considering it. I would love to go to Korea... but really I want a passing voice while still being able to pull out a mean Tom Waits on karaoke night.
After being in a huge group of women for years now, I can certifiably say that there are no such things as universal feminine aspects. Every woman is her own thing, including me.
When it comes to being a woman in a group of women, it took some work to get all the cues and conventions down but, after a little while, you're just one of the girls.
my handwriting is horrible. I am not so bad for feeling other peoples feelings but I could be better at it.
i've been on hormones since september,
Not to overgeneralize, but women in western society are often socialized to default to indirect communication and to build rapport through phatic communication (small talk). I neither do nor get these practices. Even as guys go, I'm pretty clipped, direct, and easily bored by extraneous chat.
i agree gwynne
OMG, my handwriting is so terrible. I didn't know girls were supposed to write neatly. I hope I don't get dysphoric when I write stuff now!
My voice is umm, a work in progress.
Other than that, it all came naturally. I sucked pretty hard at the forced masculinity game anyway and I had to give that fake front the boot permanently. I just couldn't bear to do it another day. Forcing myself to act, walk and sit like a dudely dude every day was gradually eating away at my soul.
i always had a pretty feminine voice, never really had disphoria about things except little things, but hormones have effected them so far so nothing now
being feminine in general.
I used to suck at handwriting too.. I found though when I slow down it gets a lot better. And now I like to make things more curved than spikey (like M's and W's especially).
I mean I still suck at it pretty bad, unless it's cursive we're talking about ;)
Oh and another thing I suck at is eating small portions. I love to eat eat eat.
Pretty much everything. 50 years of being socialized as a boy and then having that rug snatched out from under me caused that. It makes me feel like a clumsy elephant in a china closet, and I'm deathly afraid of doing something stereotypically male in a female setting.
Some of it has been coming naturally, but handwriting, voice, walking & mannerisms, appearance - they all still need work.
I'm really bad at opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I like talking to people and listening to chit chat, but I'm still very reticent about actually talking about myself or my feelings. I'm very bad at sharing and very little of my inner dialog is suitable for casual conversation. It makes girl-talk a bit one-sided and difficult for me.
I curse a lot...
but Im working on it
This handwriting thing is a bit weird! I had very neat handwriting coming out of hormones the first time, but it gradually got worse and worse. About a month or so ago I started to notice that I was unintentionally writing much more neatly again.
As for the other stuff, I do have a low tolerance for melodramatics but I still try to be supportive and empathetic when someone is upset regardless of how they express it. The one thing I try to avoid is "fixing the problem" which is something men have the tendency to do - "If you just do x then everything will be alright."
The question maybe could also be asked, "what masculine things do you still hold on to?" - the problem is, in our childhood and youth we were schooled in the way of being boys and men, and for the most part we learned them subconsciously regardless of our gender orientation.
Things that men tend to do is talk over the top of women. I really had to force myself to stop doing that. Even when I knew it was a thing men did I still found myself doing it even as recently as last year.
OMG things that come out. Handwriting!!
His handwriting was scrawl, mine is neat and I even take pride in it and enjoy writing.
It is stunningly obvious in my journal, just watching the style change is looking at an E driven progression!
wait girls, is this for real?
I mean my handwritting was always absolutly terrible! like you cant even imagine...
is it possible that it ll change?
I always though that this was bs buuut , i dunno...
My posture. Sometimes I feel like I'm not sitting or stand in a very feminine way, though it may just be me being self conscious.
Luckily, my cursive is absolutely gorgeous. :P
I eat like a guy. I hate it.. I am a slender girl. I am also a vegetarian. But when I am hungry, I eat way to fast. :(
Borrowing from another thread, singing ;)
Voice, definitely voice! I sound like Lurch opening the door to the Addams Family house. EECK!
Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 30, 2013, 12:45:14 AM
I curse a lot...
but Im working on it
Me too,as Jamie and Devlyn will tell you!I grew up in a fishing port,my best friend gave swearing lessons(really), I was a biker who worked in factories and warehouses,I had a boyfriend who was a soldier so I got a lot of practice
Good at : Empathy, feminine posture and movements (gymnastics as child helped a lot!), voice (somewhat).
Bad at: Terrible handwriting, disinterest in marriage & having/adopting children, I always have to sort out spiders in our house (I love them!), I eat loads of food and very fast (need to learn to eat in a more socially acceptable manner haha) and I guess I suck at make-up (but I'm not really that fussed bout it anyway, I just wash my face and moisturise)
X
i'm the same way jenny, i love food lol..
Hair but I just haven't had enough time with it to learn. I will be good at it. Just need more practice.
As far as hand writing I've always wrote like a girl.
Quote from: Jennygirl on December 29, 2013, 10:05:49 PM
Oh and another thing I suck at is eating small portions. I love to eat eat eat.
yea, definitely the eating thing
I can't think of a thing. I'm emotional, empathetic and sensitive...nd always have been. It's not HRT. I write like a girl, talk like a girl, walk like girl and m relly enthusiastic nd lways have been. In fact, once I was on a girls night out and the one girl was like I totally forgot urr a guy. You're just like us. You should prolly geet a sex change lol how right she was.
If ur having trouble, a lot of people say observe women. That's bad advice. Well it's okay advice. But the best thing you can do is make friends with girls and become BFFs. Immerse yourself. But you might lose yourself so be sure this is for you. Once you become girly and demure and delicate it's hard to change back. I mean I get treated so much better now and the world seems so nice. A caveat: if ur into macho things like cars, football, engineering, etc don't talk about it around girls. Sure some girls are tomboys but ime most girls are, well, girly and girls can be mean and won't want to hang with someone who talks of boring things. Gain female interests. Romance boos and films, decorating, baaking (not cooking), fashion, celeb gossip, makeup, etc. Oh and of course, MEN. Me and my new BFF talk hot guys all the time.
I have a really hard time speaking candidly. In my opinion, I whether I'm talking or writing, I sound too professional...
LOL... I posted a Before & After with my handwriting samples... I had been actively trying to make it better pre-OOTC... but post-OOTC it changed completely. Still... I've always had good handwriting. I use a fountain pen.
I don't know what my faults are yet... I can agree with snakes and spiders... I'm not too scared, though I hate killing bugs... never ever liked that and I won't go near wasps without that 10-foot spray. It was about the worst thing ever when my wife called me in for that task :(. I hope karma is good to me.
I can't do makeup. I haven't tried very hard.
I'm assertive when I know I'm right.
.... what about those feminine faults that you *do* have?
I can be a low talker sometimes (when I'm not excited). I can get neurotic over little things (I did that to my wife in a facebook message last night :( - she laughed at something I wrote in Susan's chat... turns out she couldn't even see it). I'm concerned with my weight, but have the urge to binge constantly.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on December 30, 2013, 12:00:46 PM
Oh and of course, MEN. Me and my new BFF talk hot guys all the time.
Good point...and something I'm going to have trouble with since I'm more into women. Late last year I found myself at a dinner table full of gorgeous lesbian ladies, it was seriously the best night I'd had in ages. They were all in relationships - with partners also at the table - so there wasn't any talk about hot women (maybe my presence tempered it too) but it did make me wonder how lesbian women put up with socialising in wider hetro circles where women might chat endlessly about hot guys and men in general. I've been meaning to find out since then.
As for spiders and creepy crawlies...I can deal with them up to a point. We have large spiders in Australia known as huntsmen that often make their way inside, they're like small tarantulas and like to sit on the wall. Pretty harmless but they freak a lot of people out (understandably). I just find a plastic container, catch them and throw them outside...but they are easily spooked and if one runs towards me when I'm trying to catch it I squeal like a girl and run away! ;D
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 30, 2013, 12:33:36 PM
Good point...and something I'm going to have trouble with since I'm more into women. Late last year I found myself at a dinner table full of gorgeous lesbian ladies, it was seriously the best night I'd had in ages. They were all in relationships - with partners also at the table - so there wasn't any talk about hot women (maybe my presence tempered it too) but it did make me wonder how lesbian women put up with socialising in wider hetro circles where women might chat endlessly about hot guys and men in general. I've been meaning to find out since then.
As for spiders and creepy crawlies...I can deal with them up to a point. We have large spiders in Australia known as huntsmen that often make their way inside, they're like small tarantulas and like to sit on the wall. Pretty harmless but they freak a lot of people out (understandably). I just find a plastic container, catch them and throw them outside...but they are easily spooked and if one runs towards me when I'm trying to catch it I squeal like a girl and run away! ;D
I just saw a huntsman spider on youtube that would definitely freak me out
Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 30, 2013, 12:45:14 AM
I curse a lot...
but Im working on it
You should hear my wife in traffic. She could make sailors blush.
I don't know. It's hard for me to say or come up with anything major. To be honest, it's really not too important to me. I'm just me and that's all I care to be. In the past, I used to feel so shy and awkward about expressing and being myself, but nowadays I'm much more free. The point of transitioning was to increase my comfort levels and be true to myself. So to everyone out there, don't feel pressured to change who you are in order to conform to gender stereotypes, be who you are.
I suppose two things that are masculine about me is my interest in hard rock music (metal, punk, etc) and video games. Still, those are interests and not character traits, so I really don't know.
Quote from: learningtolive on December 30, 2013, 01:42:57 PM
I suppose two things that are masculine about me is my interest in hard rock music (metal, punk, etc) and video games. Still, those are interests and not character traits, so I really don't know.
Never got into games, but my wife and I are both serious rockers.
Quote from: Jill F on December 30, 2013, 01:51:33 PM
Never got into games, but my wife and I are both serious rockers.
Me too,love punk,metal and hard rock.Will be at the Rebellion Punk Festival again next year.
i'm the same way learning, and i also love swearing lol.
What stands out to me about many of the things people are referencing in this thread is that they are mostly considered feminine only because of arbitrary societal constraints. Frankly, I don't worry about most of these things because, for every point listed, I know cis-girls for whom it's just as true.