In many traditions, an important aspect of spiritual growth is learning to love (or at least accept :) ) those you dislike.
What has been your way of learning to love your enemy?
In the Sikh path, it's taught that every person has God in them. I've been learning to love those I dislike by stopping to realize that God is in them too, and if I hate them then I am also hating God. By realizing that, it's easier to be compassionate and to think about what may be causing the person to be someone whom I dislike and to find ways within myself to change that.
Jap prem (chant love)
Henry
For me, my understanding of the Christian point of view:
We are made in the image of God. No one has totally lost the fact the image is still there, however distorted.
Love your neighbor as yourself. I have pulled some real bonehead maneuvers. If I forgive and understand myself, how can I not forgive my neighbor?
I cannot and do not know what is in a person's heart: why they do what they do. I cannot judge.
My view at least...
Hugs,
Jen
KIa Ora Henry,
I saw the light many moons ago and now I live a life free from hatred, in fact I have no anger, ill will nor hatred towards any sentient being...I have no enemies in my life only teachers and best Dharma friends...
To entertain thoughts of hatred towards others, has no beneficial aspects for the hater :
Carrying around the thoughts of hatred/anger/ill will towards another person, one (both physically and mentally) is just creating more suffering for oneself ie, more mental baggage to lug around not to mention causing stress on the body...For the most part the hated person is free from this mental and physical burden...
Also ask one 'self' "How would I feel if I knew people hated me ?" "Would it make me feel good to know this?" "Would I feel upset ?"
I guess it's all about what Buddhists call insight meditation-when you know what makes up the 'self' then you know what makes up others and why they/we do what they/we do, and for the most part it's just out of "ignorance" ...
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on December 30, 2013, 08:32:18 PM
In many traditions, an important aspect of spiritual growth is learning to love (or at least accept :) ) those you dislike.
What has been your way of learning to love your enemy?
In the Sikh path, it's taught that every person has God in them. I've been learning to love those I dislike by stopping to realize that God is in them too, and if I hate them then I am also hating God. By realizing that, it's easier to be compassionate and to think about what may be causing the person to be someone whom I dislike and to find ways within myself to change that.
Jap prem (chant love)
Henry
Yeah, I love them to death!
I suppose getting older helped me see what was really important in life. I really used to carry hate for those who's actions resulted in my needed profession (Paramedic). Now, looking back, I see that they had problems and demons of their own and most of the time they did not intend to cause chaos and destruction, they were just lost. I have even called some of those I hurt in the past and made amends. Some accepted, some did not. I hope they find peace eventually and give up the cancer of hate as well. I might get disappointed in people now, but hate has left the building. I just wish I had this knowledge AND a young body to transition with. :)
This topic made me feel good.
wonderful topic learnedhand. a buddhist stanza says-
nahi verena verani
sammanthidha kudachanam
averenecha sammanthi
esa dhammo sanantano
meaning: in this world hatred is never cured by hatred. compassion cures hatred. this is an eternal truth.
in the steps one should follow if they want to become buddha, compassion towards ones who hate you is one of the most important steps. one should learn to extend compassion towards those who harm your belongings and loved ones, then those who harm you, and lastly those who try to kill you.
what we receive in life is decided by our karma. hating somebody is only a burden for yourself, as anatta mentioned. i have minimal hatred as well. i might get sudden anger once in a while, but in long term i don't hate anybody. if somebody hates me, well that's their business not mine. it doesn't come and eat me so why should i worry about it? let them hate or love me as they wish. nobody is bad from crust to core, there's something good in everybody. and i've learnt to love it.
I identify as Christian, and to me that means that I have to live according to the Golden Rule and the second half of the Great Commandment both of which essentially state that I have to treat other people in the exact same way I want to be treated.
Have I been doing this? No. Have I been trying? Yes. Have I been trying as hard as I should? Perhaps not.
But there was a moment in my rebaptism this past November that I felt changed me. It was when Rev. Dr. Penny Nixon asked me the following baptismal promise of myself:
QuoteIn this commitment will you do your best by GOD's abundant grace, to continue to walk in the ways of love, to follow the teachings of Jesus about inclusion and justice, and to keep your heart wide open as possible to all that is good in this world?
I had responded, "I will, with the help of GOD."
In answering that question in the way I did, I felt changed in a way I still can't fully describe yet.
There is a vast number of people who treat me with contempt for what I am: trans, queer, pre-op (possibly non-op), an ally to non-binary persons, Caucasian, assigned male at birth, Christian (but the wrong kind), Pagan (who doesn't heap contempt on Christianity or the other Abrahamic faiths), theist in general, liberal, feminist.
If I return that contempt, then I'm being contemptuous instead of loving. To me, for me, this is not the way I should be conducting my life.
How do I love those who hate me? I'm still working on that. But as a start, I try not to hate them in return.
As part of my discernment process I plan on talking with the trans and queer seminarians I know to ask how they approach their ministries when they are reviled in much the same ways I am.
I don't hate anyone I've known personally. I don't hold grudges against anyone who's done bad things to me or others I care about. I feel wrong doers harm themselves more than anyone else, I simply pray (spiritually not religiously) they learn the errors of their ways and become better people. Hating anyone or anything takes substantially energy, negative energy at that.
I hate murderous Left-wing ( :D) dictators like Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Pol-Pot, Hugo Chavez, et. al., murdering millions or hoarding billions while you starve your citizenry gets you put of my sh%t list for sure. ;)
(on second thought, if someone has hurt someone I care about....... they likely never want to run into me on a street one day, just sayin' >:()
Kia Ora,
Sadly there are some people who just "love" to "hate" someone, something ........
Metta Zenda :)
This is a real nice thread. I always try and live by the motto 'treat others how you wish to be treated'. Lately, I have lost parts of that and allowed my own emotions to control me and fuel hate onto others. I'm not proud of this. I am not religious, but I like religious beliefs. Thank you for posting this and helping me to understand my own emotions and feelings.
Quote from: JLT1 on December 30, 2013, 10:03:49 PM
For me, my understanding of the Christian point of view:
We are made in the image of God. No one has totally lost the fact the image is still there, however distorted.
Love your neighbor as yourself. I have pulled some real bonehead maneuvers. If I forgive and understand myself, how can I not forgive my neighbor?
I cannot and do not know what is in a person's heart: why they do what they do. I cannot judge.
My view at least...
Hugs,
Jen
AMEN!!!!!!!
Quote from: Constance on January 02, 2014, 11:20:33 AM
There is a vast number of people who treat me with contempt for what I am: trans, queer, pre-op (possibly non-op), an ally to non-binary persons, Caucasian, assigned male at birth, Christian (but the wrong kind), Pagan (who doesn't heap contempt on Christianity or the other Abrahamic faiths), theist in general, liberal, feminist.
Connie, you are
not the wrong kind of anything!
You are a child of the Universe
No less than the trees and the stars
You have a right to be here
Thank you Jamie.
I won't bother repeating some of the things I've been called. There are many here who've been called the same things and there's no need to bring up the details.
I'm an atheist, but the way that I accept those I dislike is by remembering how small and insignificant I am lol. That sounds horrible, but it helps - I remember that I am just one person, and my personal opinions and preferences shouldn't have the weight to change or judge someone else's life.
Quote from: caleb. on January 04, 2014, 09:59:46 AM
I'm an atheist, but the way that I accept those I dislike is by remembering how small and insignificant I am lol. That sounds horrible, but it helps
Lol your post reminded me of some Atheists/Pagans I knew who used to always say "We're all from the same pond scum". :)
As well as the Monthy Python: Meaning of Life Song. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQPlFLtWDwM
Quote from: Constance on January 04, 2014, 12:35:15 AM
Thank you Jamie.
I won't bother repeating some of the things I've been called. There are many here who've been called the same things and there's no need to bring up the details.
The name-calling is just a reflection of their own insecurities. You have defined yourself, their input is meaningless.
Does it hurt? Of course. But you are still standing - a testament to your strength.