Write your current GD whoas wether its something thats been happening since childhood or something new.
Felt female since age 7. People (therapist's and family) would not let me be who I was. My stats thus far: (2) failed marriages, health and mental issue's, no friends, no emotions of any kind (robotic), isolated, depression, temper from hell (not good for someone with my skill set) and no hope for the future.
After HRT was started: Health/mental issue's gone (mostly), genuine emotions, zest for life, new friends (long term I hope), reasons to live, discover new things every day, calmness, purpose in living, etc., relaxed due to not worrying how I am acting, talking, etc. in public.
The cost of transition so far: Family, friends, children, land, home, financial drain for therapist, meds, etc., church friends, etc.
Worth it: YOU BET!!! :) :) :) :)
I want this...
Dysphoria or HRT *giggle* :)
I got dysphoria. I want hrt. Lol
It does help, a lot. Some stop with HRT because it makes their Dysphoria manageable. Mine is making me go all the way to SRS. Just do it the right way and with a good therapist. There is a lot involved even with HRT alone. Good luck baby! :)
Weirdly i already want srs. But i feel i should start hrt first. Ive been told that you dont need a therapist now in the US. You can just go to a doc for the perscriptions but i definitely need a therapist just to bear through some of this mess.
Sometimes you can use "informed consent" to get HRT. I had to go to three months of therapy before I got my letter. I tried informed consent as well, but they said no. If anyone was prepared I was. I am a 28 year veteran Paramedic in a large U.S. city and know all their is about the drugs, surgeries and other subjects related to transition. If they said no to me, uh, you might have problems with "informed consent".
I want so bad to be able to see a therapist, but without insurance, can't afford to see a therapist or a regular doctor, for that matter. :( so looks like i'm stuck for now without many options.
Why did you get turned down for IC?
Remember that 'informed consent' means you have to be judged to make an informed consent with an understanding of all the issues. I certainly knew of all the medical issues but my past had left enormous scars that needed to be helped with. Therapy for me was a blessing and allowed me to enjoy my new life.
You might have a point there but maybe i can get lucky. Who knows.
I want to remember how to be myself...
Ive been feeling like im missing something for quite some time.
I know just how you feel baby! I was told not to act female by therapist's, then as an adult had to prove to a therapist I was female. No wonder we are all out of whack and confused. It's a double standard.
Its become a habit, being a guy. But i keep going through this cycle of depression. Then regression. Then progression. Rinse. Repeat.
Everytime i try to follow my parents advice and accept being male, i wind up hating myself again...
Its been getting bad this past month.
I've felt female since age 15.
It's my therapist aginst my mom right now. She's so closed minded that anything that he tells her she's not gonna believe.
I have a lot of mental issue's, no friends, (they just come and go, nothing stable), isolated, depression.
The cost of transition so far: Going to lose my family.
Quote from: Emo on December 31, 2013, 01:13:23 AMBut i keep going through this cycle of depression.
It's not depression baby, she (you) wants out! Until that happens it will only get worse if you can believe that.
I remember my first trip to my endo. 'Are you on any medications?' me 'anti-depressants and alcohol', she said 'honey you have been trying to be a guy for the last 50 years, they are means of survival, I meant medications the rest of us don't take', then gave me E.
Oh she is also MtF :laugh:
The anti-depressants and booze went in the bin.
You can and you will overcome this, as I did.
How do i let her (me) out while i wait to get a therapist/hrt?
The small things, practice make up, hair styles, talking. Do your nails, even if it is just the toes. Sit in a shopping mall and study how women interact in the environment. Shave your legs, start laser/electro. Get your diet and weight correct.
Get Ready.
Start sculpting your mind and body for the new you. When she arrives she will want to walk proudly in the world.
To add to Cindy's, acceptance of yourself goes a long ways. Accept you are who you are and plan ahead all the things you will have to face. Take your time to develop a strategy for telling family, friends, work, etc. Just lose any guilt you have right now. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG AND YOU ARE NOT ABNORMAL! Find mental peace and the rest will follow. :)
I dont get out much and my parents will notice if i change something.
Plus my hair doesnt cooperate. Lol.
What kind of diet and weight will i need?
@jessica
Im currently trying to get over the guilt. Deprogramming is hard tho.
I think the most important thing is to start growing your hair if you havent already , most cis girls can look really nice with short hair but when it comes to us long hair is something like a boost to femininity, oh btw my hair are really curly and awkward but I Straighten them every time I take a shower , so there is a way eeer to make them co operate I guess...
also a nice thing to do is put a bit of make up to cover the beard shadow , doesnt make you look like a girl , but makes you look younger and kinda more feminine, sometimes I would use a bit of mascara too, also perfumes and deodorant for women,necklaces , bracelets ,,,, all these make some kind of difference ...
also pierce your ears , when I did it I felt awesome :)
and about weight, depends on your height I think average slim cis girls weight under 65 kg,usually 40-55 so at one point I was 62 and everyone kept saying that my weight is female and wtf eat something , and I wanted to scream to them "god i am female leave me alone " :P
Oh and btw dont worry about your parents , unless you show up in a dress they arent gonna notice...
And about the guilt , focus on the possitives and it will go away,
we have the right to live our lifes how we want to...even if you think about it feeling guilt doesnt come from inside you , it comes from what others have said...I mean you never said that trans people are sinful and a disgrace and freaks...OTHERS have said that ,,,so forget what they said , empty your mind and think what being trans really means...
pfff for the love of god I think we are more awesome than any other cis girl/dude who is pretentious and only goes with the flow...thinking about it I believe we are truly free...hell some of the cis people I know wont even change their clothes to not disturb others...pfffffff
anyway Emo I think you are awesome :)
you deserve to be yourself so keep trying :)
Quote from: Emo on December 31, 2013, 02:30:44 AM
@jessica
Im currently trying to get over the guilt. Deprogramming is hard tho.
I do know what you mean. It was 1972 when I knew I was female inside. At that time people like me either assimilated or got run out of town or worse. The therapist's, counselors, family, church and schools actually beat me until I complied. So I know all about the guilt thing. I have a ways to go, but finally got over the guilt trip. You will too in time. Let's put it this way, when I was a child what we are was considered a mental health illness. Today it is not, so you are a little more fortunate than I was. Science is catching up to you and helping you, not hurting you. DO NOT EVER feel bad about you being you, OK?
Lol youre going to have to help me with the kg there. Im american sooo...
I might try my toe nails it i can get some polish without getting super embaraced.
Also i have black people hair. I suggested getting my hair straightened to my mom and she said that could ruin and/or make it fall out.
I dont know about getting my ears peirced. >__>
Thanks princess. I think youre awesome too. ^__^
Quote from: Emo on December 31, 2013, 03:03:56 AM
Lol youre going to have to help me with the kg there. Im american sooo...
I might try my toe nails it i can get some polish without getting super embaraced.
Also i have black people hair. I suggested getting my hair straightened to my mom and she said that could ruin and/or make it fall out.
I dont know about getting my ears peirced. >__>
Thanks princess. I think youre awesome too. ^__^
Google kg to pounds and weight range to height.
Every woman I know either straightens her hair or curls it!
We are never happy!
Quote from: Cindy on December 31, 2013, 03:06:20 AM
Every woman I know either straightens her hair or curls it!
We are never happy!
Don't I know it. I keep getting stuck in houses full of women. No wonder I stick to my room.
@jessica
Everyone is so supportive and awesome here! ^__^
I think at this point im just in denial. Ive never really felt like i actually belonged before. I always had felt like there was always going to be a difference between me and other people.. I keep waiting for the difference here and expecting a difference But you guys went through the exact same thing.
I finally belong! \(>_<)/ yesh!
@cindy
145 lbs jeesh..
Im the average weight for a guy so thatll be kind of hard to come by.
But ive been eating differently lately. Forgetting to eat.
I lost a waist size right after i bought new jeans. .___.
Well Emo, now that you know you fit in just fine, don't be afraid to go to the BAN thread and BAN Jessica for giggling. She does that a lot. We love her for it though.
Honey your weight is fine! Some girls are a little pudgy, you sound fine.
There is no problems fitting in here.
I'm the only normal one in the place.
*giggle* What would *giggle* make you say *giggle* that? ;D BAN me?
Do you feel loved and accepted now Emo?
Lol well im not pudgy. I barely have a belly.
My weight kinda just stays the same unless it change in the last month from my odd eating habits.
Ban for giggling. Jeez you guys are strict. :p
@jessica
Yes.. Yes i do. ^__^
To tell the truth, the first night I joined I got such a warm welcome I cried myself to sleep. (happy tears) It is such a relief to know you are not alone or as different as you thought, is it? :)
Don't let Cindy fool you, she is as purrfectly nuts as the rest of us.
Besides, I don't BAN lavender. You have hair and a tail that make you safe.....for now.
Quote from: LordKAT on December 31, 2013, 03:35:47 AM
Don't let Cindy fool you, she is as purrfectly nuts as the rest of us.
Seconded and forwarded to a vote! ;D
I am purfectly insane
@jessica
I agree 100% ^__^
Nothing like the feeling of acceptance after a life of rejection.
@kat
Nekos ftw! \(>_<)/
Sanity is over rated. I'm much happier just as I am.
Good night! YAWN! Cindy, KAT and Emo have a good day. Emo, PM anytime baby. :)