Hay you lovely people! ;D
So quick question to you all - what could I do to 'test the waters' (as they say) with my closest friends and family?
I'm in no way ready to come out to any of them for a while yet because I feel I really need to discover for myself who I am first before I can go telling the rest of the world who I am lol :P but I am really burning to get a sense of how those I love most are likely to react to the news (without actually telling them at this point, of course). I also want to kill two birds with one stone by also using this bit of exploration to also start slowly easing them in to the whole idea so that when the day finally comes for me to say "hay everyone, I'm actually a girl!", it won't be a huge world-breaking shock for them (not that I think it will be anyway because - frankly - looking back at everything now I don't think I've done a particularly great job of hiding it all these years! :laugh: )
Take my mum for example - on the one hand I think she'll react well. She's always been a hippie at heart, so she's pretty liberal-minded generally speaking. She's loving and caring and has always said (generally) that - even if I become a dustman - she'll always be proud of me no matter what I do so long as it's what I love doing. She was utterly convinced when she was pregnant with me that I was going to be a girl (even had pink clothes knitted for me and everything, and they were going to call me either Kira or Sarah (you see where I got the name from now? ;) )). Mum's into astrology too and has always pointed out the "Grand Trine" ("Star of David" / two triangles on top of each other etc) in my own birth chart, which she's always keen to remind me means "a perfect balance of male and female" (her words, not mine ;) ). Lol well, you can't get more balanced than a female brain stuck in a male body, can you? :laugh: She's also said numerous times over the years (half jokingly) how she always wishes she'd had a daughter, and she does have rather feminist sensibilities too (she doesn't "hate men", but she certainly believes men should step aside and let women clean up the mess they've made in the world lol! :laugh: honestly though? I pretty much share her views for the most part :) ). And to top it all off - she's the sort of woman who takes everything in her stride and goes with the flow, so she's pretty accepting of new situations and stuff.. *mostly*.. :P
So all of that makes me think she'd not only take it well, but might actually be *GLAD* that I'm making this change :)
On the other hand though - she can be really *REALLY* judgemental and hard when she wants to be, and she's expressed moderate homophobic opinions in the past (yes, *WE* all know trans* is nothing to do with homosexuality (gender and sexuality are separate vectors), but there's still that association in the public consciousness so that's something I'm going to have to wrestle with until she understands properly at least), so that's got me a bit worried that it'll be a case of her turning around and saying something to the effect of "you can be what ever you want to be - just not *THAT*!" :-\
Soo - what I really want to do is get a better feel for exactly which side of the fence each of my nearest and dearest are likely to land on. I want to expose them to the idea of the trans* condition, and see what their honest reactions are, but without raising too much suspicion (yet) about what I'll actually be telling them further down the road. I wan't to ask them "so how would you feel if someone you'd known for years came out as trans* / had a sex change etc?" without them turning around and asking in return "why? are you thinking of doing it yourself?".
So any ideas of ways I could go about doing that? :) <333
I don't mean to be flip... but you could mention you're thinking of dating one. I never thought my folks were excessively racist until my brother started dating a latina girl. That certainly brought everything out of the woodwork.
Perhaps watch a trans themed movie together if you do movie nights or that sort of thing. It might expose your mothers opinions a little more.
My mother used to make derogatory comments about trans people whenever she saw them on TV. I am not sure if she still does but in the end I came out to her anyway. Strangely she seems to have forgotten.
just bring up that you made friends with a trans and see if they offer their opininion that way. I haven't told any of my family yet but have told some of my closer friends and they have been totally cool and supportive and I know they will be my rock when I need them
Hugs kelly
I started discussion about someone who was trans and in the news recently. At that point, it was Jenna Talackova. My eldest son's reaction to her told me everything I needed to know about how he was going to react to me. And he did. It was ugly.
Thanks for the ideas girls!
We don't do "Movie Nights" in our house, and even if we did: mum's always up and down like a bloody yo-yo and can never sit still long enough to watch a movie even if she's interested in it! :laugh: So yeh that won't be practical unfortunately :(
Telling them I've met a trans* friend isn't a bad idea though :) They know I go to to the local LGBT nightclub around the corner regularly because one of our female friends is gynosexual (i.e. lesbian), so it wouldn't be a complete surprise if I turned around one morning after going there and saying I'd made a trans* friend.
Bringing up a trans* girl from the news is also not a bad idea. Mum watches the news a lot (..more than she should! >_<), so shouldn't be too hard to bring it up that way too :)
So yeh I might try those! Thanks girls you've been a great help xXx ;D <333