So after worrying so much about how my parents would react to me coming out, i remembered that i did already.
About a year, maybe 2 years ago, i was researching hormones and transgender on my ps3 browser. Found a lot of info. I was planning on self medication for it, and i wrote all of this stuff down on a single sheet of paper.
The next day, i come out to my best friend at the time and ask her to help me research more. She tells me to really think about this. Make sure its what i want.
So i think for a few days. At the time my parents were increasingly suspicious of me and my mom checks my bag. There the finds the paper with my research on it.
She is crying but i dont know why at that moment. She is holding the paper and hands it to my dad. They confront me about it.
This is where it gets fuzzy.
I remember that my mom said i was made perfectly the way i was. (If only she knew what that really meant) my dad was asking questions of why i felt the way i did. I couldnt tell him.. I still didnt understand it myself. My dad prescribes me to watching sports and doing guy things i could care less about...
I want to know.. How can i bring this up to my parents again? I dont want an episode like last time.
Have them take you to a therapist. They will be more likely to listen to them than you. It's a long shot, but all I can think of right now.
That might be my best option... Im moving out soon tho. It may take them convincing...
Wouldnt happen to know how much with insurance would you? :p
That can vary drastically but look about 50 to 150 USD an hour for a plain therapist.
Per hour... Jeez...
Is this uninsured?
Can be, unless they find some other issue with you.
Only way to know is to ask your insurance company and then find one that is "in network". That second part can be difficult.
it can be, but either way average is 15-30 per visit just for the copay. thats part of the reason it is so long for alot of people to transition, the sure cost of everything,
Quote from: Emo on January 01, 2014, 02:45:24 AM
My dad prescribes me to watching sports and doing guy things i could care less about...
The solution to not feeling happy with being "male" is to do more "manly" things? Yeesh!
Oh well, at least you already have a bridge of sorts. They are probably hoping you've forgotten all about it.
@grace
Wont they be surprized. Lol
Okay. Im going to ask them if i can go for a session.
We'll see. Good thing i can use my own money...
Good luck dear ,you re doing the right thing :)
btw my mom has done something similar with your dad when I came out to her , she told me to first have sex with a girl,,,to see if I like it? XD
I told her Id rather have sex with a girl as a girl,,,still remember the wtf look on her face hahaha
I agree with what others have said - you might want to just say "Mom and Dad, you know that incident we had with the hormones awhile ago? I would like to see a Gender Therapist to explore who I am more."
There are counselors and then there are counselors...meaning, a regular counselor will not be able to provide the level of support as a Gender Therapist or gender specialty counselor. I have been to both, and there is a definite difference. The latter will help you understand the feelings you have, but also prepare you for hormones and write the supporting letters you might need.
As for cost, you can call the insurance company and ask. Just call the number on the back of your card and ask how they pay for outpatient counseling sessions, and what is is needed to make it happen. You can then do some research online to find a gender therapist in your area (a local LGBT center may have some identified) and you can call the therapist to ask if they accept your insurance. Sometimes there is a sliding scale based on income or ability to pay, and you can ask the therapist about it - they get the question all the time. My roommate, who is a transwoman, sometimes pays $20 per session, sometimes nothing, and sometimes $50. I have been full time employed, and better off financially, and always pay $70/session with insurance.
Good luck!
@princess
lol. i love this. XD
also the feeling is mutual. :p
@antonia
i that was useful to know.
yay more research!
thank you gals for all the input!
much apreciated. ^__^
I can't help with therapists as I'm in the UK, but I also have a similar thing with my parents, so I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone.
I came out to them through a mutual friend about two years ago now, and although we spoke about it a little bit at the counselling sessions I was going to at the time anyway, when I managed to escape them (they were terrible for my mental health) we never spoke about it outside of there, and so never spoke about it once they'd stopped. Last year they saw that I was reading "Sacred Country" by Rose Tremain (a fiction book about a trans man) and I worried that it would be brought up again, but they still never mentioned it. I'm at the point where I'll need to tell them that I've been to my GP again and I'm trying to get referred to a gender identity clinic, but I no longer live with them. I'm putting it off because there's never a good time, I see them so rarely, and they don't understand either. I was told that it's okay to just act masculine, why did I have to be a male as well (one of the benefits of masculinity in females being more acceptable than femininity in males I suppose), but that's not enough for me, it doesn't cure my dysphoria.
I wish you all the best, and I think that seeing a therapist is probably a good idea, after all my thinking is that if I see a gender identity clinic and get "proof" that I'm trans they're more likely to believe that it's not just a massive pretence like they reckoned the rest of my MH issues were.
this hit prey close to home for me.
my dad today commented on a gift im assuming my mom as going to give me.
"we'll go take those shower curtains back and get ones that are less girly."
i said nothing. but i wanted to say i wouldnt have cared. plus his definition of girly is a bit broad.
i talked to my mom today about geting a therapist. she knows about desire to hurt myself before but didnt bring up my dysphoria.
she hasnt said yes or no.