I've written a letter to my mum and have fully opened up about being transexual, and how long I've felt like this!
I'm feeling emotionally drained, and really cannot muster up the courage to give the letter to her! A huge part of me wants to rip it up and throw it away! i dunno what to do!!!!!
Im absolutely terrified!!!!
Any advice?!
Xx
I felt the same way when I came out to my parents. Eventually you'll muster up the courage or something will be said where the floodgates open up. In my case I spent days trying to come out to my parents and even wrote a letter but I couldn't give it to them. Then on the day I was going to give it to them I was asked what's wrong and then I broke down and gave them the letters to read because even then I still couldn't say what I wanted to say.
I guess you may need to get to the heart of what has you terrified. Rejection? Being cut off? Anger? Ridicule? Non acceptance? All these things are possibilities. But like many fears they are often bigger than they seem, and usually never as bad as imagined. Still you do need to prepare for the worst, as the saying goes. I understand the fear, I haven't told my family yet.
I did tell my mother the first time I transitioned. I chose to tell her face to face. She's not a scary person but I was petrified. She didn't take it very well. But at least by telling her directly I was able to answer her concerns and questions (and she had plenty) and respond to her denial (apparently because I didn't "act gay" it couldn't possibly be true...?!). Also I knew straight away where I stood with her (that I was still welcome to visit as long as I didn't come as a girl). The thought of writing a letter never occurred to me, I wish I had but not to give to her, just so that I at least had everything straight in my brain before I told her.
Anyway, you've written it, but you don't need to give it to her today, tomorrow or even next week. Don't tear it up. Maybe have a think about other things you might need to tell her to deal with those fears you have? Rewrite it in a week and see if you can send it then. If not hold on to it for another week, etc. in the meantime, is there anyone you can talk to about your fears and concerns. I'd suggest you don't tell your mother until you feel safe about doing so.
Hugs
Grace
You shouldnt tear it up. You need to be brave and hand it them or tell them in person that your trans. My family has for the most part rejected me and doesnt want to deal with my ->-bleeped-<- at all. Even with all this time passing my mom doesnt care one thing about me.
If you are living on your own and self-supporting, then do it. They are going to find out anyway eventually.
But if you are dependent on them, don't. Or don't do it unless you are sure that your dependency on them won't be used as a weapon against you.