Hi everyone, Happy New Year!
I am a bit over two years into my transition, wooow, I'm so excited, with the new year I have been looking back on everything I have gone through and the individuals who inspired me and helped me along. I am having a great time being me, and I am smiling everyday. I just wanted to thank everyone here, this place has been a constant Q&A resource for me over the years even before I began taking forward steps.
Not just those who I have grown to know and call friends, but those I don't know because if I saw a thread, something I was going through, random words and encouragements from other peoples questions to the community here at Susan's would assist me immensely.
Everything good aside. I have had a constant awkward struggle dating, I am pre op atm and I have been on a handful of dates with both guys and girls. I'd love to hear of everyone else's experiences dating and how you may have found some structure to it all.
Hi and happy new years to you. 2 years is a wonderful journey sister. I wish I could offer you advice on the dating scene.
Happy New Year! I would love to help, but at only month 4 HRT everyone is still chasing me with pitch forks. If only I had not taken that job as the creepy scientist's assistant. Well, one mistake and.......... ;D
congrats on 2 years i can't wait till im there, i can't help you on the dating struggle either since i haven't had a date in 7 years but you seem to be doing good since you have been at least dating, more than i can hope for lol, so what kind of experiences have you had in your own dating life?
I have been practicing saying 2014 lately and it sounds weird.
Hi Izzy, Jessica, Kiaraja. I appreciate your joy and responses.
To answer Kiaraja's question, there really has only ever been one obstacle within each and every engagement I jumped into, myself. Specifically, my sexual aptitude, for those of us which are medically in transition, the libido takes a giant forced change, one I gradually accepted and learned to embrace, this however brought up performance issues in a few of the handful of intimate dates, we are all familiar with the 'bases'? (baseball metaphor) Right, well once it gets down to second base, anything after is simply beyond my current capacity to deal with, in a way that I am comfortable with, I am planning for post op in the future and my genital relationship has slipped into the friend zone.
With the guys, I always feel uncomfortable because we only ever hangout at first base, anything beyond that just turns weird for me because I can't get certain imaginary situations from popping up in my head, leading to those odd questions of, are you ok, did I do something wrong, want me to stop. We know guys are like super horny, almost all the time, I don't believe that's too far a stretch, so a guy vs girl relationship is like on fast forward intimately.
With girls it's more down to earth, but weird also, I don't want to be performing anything past third base, to them, nor want to receive anything down there, my one relationship with a straight, bi-curious girl stopped almost as soon as it stared because of my lack of continuation physically. As a result I settled in the Queer sphere of dating and to be honest, Queer dating was new to me.
I'm six foot one and weigh around one seventy five give or take a holiday, I ran into this dominance/submissive problem in my remaining dates, some which continued for quite a while where my physical stature lead them to believe I would naturally be dominant, yet I often dressed quite femme. Basically long story short a ton of mixed signals so far. To mention also, orientation, in the community there are so many orientations I actually had to read a list to know them all once upon a time, similar to how transgender covers so many gender identities. I am still wandering through the Queer community at the moment trying to find out what flag I want to fly.
This has just been my own general experience.
Faye, I don't see any problems for your future no matter what you choose. You appear very passable and seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I look forward to getting to know you better as time goes by. Take care sis! :)