For a while, I've wanted to cut ties with my immediate family, my father and sisters.
My father because of some of the evil and heinous things he did when I was younger. Not to me but to animals and such. And yeah, to me. When I got out of foster care and was homeless, he would have rather had his privacy and peace and quiet than to help out his son who hasn't lived with him since he and my mother got divorced when I was 10 and then went into foster care when I was 12. You would have thought he would have stepped up some. Nope. I might have spent a month or two with him in that time but at the verge of being homeless, he didn't offer up a hand.
My sisters - one's an alcoholic with borderline personality disorder. If you've ever dealt with anyone with BPD for an extended period, you'll know how hard that is. My other sister doesn't seem to want anything to do with me or my family (daughter and wife). No invites to holidays, birthdays, no calls, no letters, nothing for my daughter for Christmas though we get them things...
Anyway, just thought I'd try to get some of your opinions on the matter.
Thanks.
Toxic relationships are of no benefit to me and I refuse to make an effort to sustain one. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to cut bait and move along. If they want a relationship with you, perhaps they need to be the ones putting forth the effort. You sound like you've done far more than your fair share. I am not one to burn bridges and I always leave the door open for such people, but I just won't waste my time and sanity on them anymore.
The sister who doesn't invite, have you called her to talk or tried to visit and be a part of her life?
Michelleisadude, I was married for 7 years to some one wth BPD know exactly how hard it is. I am so sorry that you are going throught all that. I would have to agree that t may be a good dea to cut ties, it is never anb easy choice to make. they are your famly, however sometimes the family you make is much better then the family you where given. Good frends can be as good f not better then familys.
wish you luck and if you ever need some one to talk to im here,
I had that issue for a while. No one invited me and I invited no one. Therefore there was no family in my life. After a while, I kinda missed them. So, I chose the ones that meant something to me and basically forced myself into there lives. I literally gave them no choice. I admit this method isn't for everybody but it worked for me. I mean I was nuts! Like a rat infestation! This included coming out as transgender.
Eventually, some stuck around while others pushed me away. Now I have a handful of family members who I talk to all the time and accept me for who I am. The rest? Well, forget the rest. I'll be sure to send them a Christmas card.
Hi Michelle. It doesn't sound to me you cut ties with them, but they did with you. It is their choice so go on with the life you want and be happy. Like Jill said we have enough problems without added toxicity. Let the past go and concentrate on the future! :)