I'm on my 4th month of HRT and its going surprisingly well . I feel great, I'm mentally in a place with the feeling of femininity I never dreamt possible.MY T is being replace. I'm quite lucky with the genetics as far as my breasts are developing to the point that I need to make a solid decision to move forward. If I go past the six month point there's really no turning back. I definitely won't do surgery to remove my breasts that's my reality. each day I look at my reflection and see my self developing into a woman. I know inside that this is the only way, I've live the other way and I can't do it. I'm just wondering what things if any would cause you to do an abrupt turn and stop transition If any thing would.
Death.
Death would be the only thing I can think of.
well, that's definitely one thing
I honestly can't think of anything that would make me turn back.
If I was far enough into it (not sure where I'd draw that line, but nvm) and I had to stop HRT because of some health concern, I'd stop. But that's a very different thing from going back to living as female. I do think I'd die before living as female again.
Haven't really started yet except for the way I'm dressing more femininely and wearing makeup more but I feel more free now than I was before and I love myself ;D So probably nothing
Death.
I have thought the same thing, Stephanie.
Although, I've been on HRT for only a measly week :D, physically I can feel the development aches, and psychologically I'm in a completely different and so much more comfortable place.
To be honest transition is something I realise I was fighting tooth and nail for a very long time, but in the end I couldn't avoid it. I don't want to move forward but somehow it feels right to do so, and having started there's no way back now that I can see.
So like the others it either carry on the transition or die in some sense or another.
Quote from: Joan on January 18, 2014, 07:53:24 PM
I have thought the same thing, Stephanie.
Although, I've been on HRT for only a measly week :D, physically I can feel the development aches, and psychologically I'm in a completely different and so much more comfortable place.
To be honest transition is something I realise I was fighting tooth and nail for a very long time, but in the end I couldn't avoid it. I don't want to move forward but somehow it feels right to do so, and having started there's no way back now that I can see.
So like the others it either carry on the transition or die in some sense or another.
Yea, I definitely know what you mean, I've been dealing with this so long and it amazing how right it feels
I guess it's obvious we're headed towards a consensus
When I first read the topic the next thing that came to mind was DEATH ! I see I have some great company here and there is no way I would ever want to go back. Bear in mind I am 64 and started hrt about a month ago and also have a friend who started hrt at 70. Life is good. Pat
Quote from: justpat on January 18, 2014, 08:04:29 PM
When I first read the topic the next thing that came to mind was DEATH ! I see I have some great company here and there is no way I would ever want to go back. Bear in mind I am 64 and started hrt about a month ago and also have a friend who started hrt at 70. Life is good. Pat
HRT does seem to help a lot, It sure helped me
I'm 59 and I've only been on HRT one week. My mind is already more clear and focused that I can ever remember. I feel alive. I feel happy. I have hope. I can remember how I felt before. I was depressed. I felt like the walking dead. I had zero hope. The only thing that would make me stop my transition would be death.
Inability to pass and achieve social acceptance in my desired gender role. My biggest issue was the social.
In fact, that's the (extremely short and dramatically oversimplified) explanation for why I gave up trying to be a guy. So I guess it's not a purely academic question in my case!
Death.
Guilt. My advise: if you ever, ever, ever had an idea you may want to purse this, don't get married. Some people can handle the situation....others, like myself, really struggle with this.
Quote from: stephaniec on January 18, 2014, 07:00:08 PM
...my breasts are developing to the point that I need to make a solid decision to move forward. If I go past the six month point there's really no turning back.
That's exactly why I stopped HRT at the 5-6 month period, despite enjoying being on E and the changes that it produced. There are other reasons, but they all stem from the physical changes involved in HRT.
I too was blessed in the breast dept., so breast development was steady and rapid. And looking back at photos during that time, my face changed considerably, to the point where I wondered if anyone actually twigged to what was going on. It's possible that I was making up excuses to myself, but (a) I found it hard to let go of my male body and (b) I found the thought of coming out to everyone just too difficult. For various reasons, they were both boundaries that I found too difficult to cross.
I've read here that it's taken some people more than one attempt before they've actually transitioned. So, who knows, maybe another time. Then again, perhaps I'm not a binary sort of person.
Quote from: JS on January 18, 2014, 08:39:03 PM
That's exactly why I stopped HRT at the 5-6 month period, despite enjoying being on E and the changes that it produced. There are other reasons, but they all stem from the physical changes involved in HRT.
I too was blessed in the breast dept., so breast development was steady and rapid. And looking back at photos during that time, my face changed considerably, to the point where I wondered if anyone actually twigged to what was going on. It's possible that I was making up excuses to myself, but (a) I found it hard to let go of my male body and (b) I found the thought of coming out to everyone just too difficult. For various reasons, they were both boundaries that I found too difficult to cross.
I've read here that it's taken some people more than one attempt before they've actually transitioned. So, who knows, maybe another time. Then again, perhaps I'm not a binary sort of person.
yea, it definitely made me stop and think, I felt that male making a plea for time out . I looked in the window at night time of the coffee house I go to and saw this female staring back I had to pause and think, but I think where I'm at in life and given my past It's far better to proceed.
My immediate thought also was death. That guy ends a great many things.
another vote for death
Asides from death stupid gatekeepers. Just because I like boys clothes and dislike of feminine stuff doesn't negate my transness!
At a very young age, I developed the image of who I was suppose to be. It was very specific, her (my) hair, eyes, nose, height, body, etc. I went to bed every night and imagined her (me). That person remains with me today even. I've been on HRT for close to three years and I can never become that person, I'll never be 'right' no matter what I do. I think I'm beginning to realize in my case, my birth sealed my fate. Transition won't change anything for me.
You and I are at about the same point in development with similar results. Aside from what has already been said (death and serious health concerns) the only thing that would stop me would be a very negative reaction from my 14-year-old son. I am not out to him yet, but plan to come out before my six month mark. I, too, consider the six month mark my rubicon--my point of no return.
Jane
Yep,
Another vote for death....
Hugs,
Jen
At this point, nothing. I might be cheating, though - I finished transition over four years ago, and at this point re-transitioning/transitioning back would be even more work than doing it the first time. I'm stuck with this, blessedly. :)
(Also lucky enough to have a marriage that survived transition; I think the threat of losing my wife, had it come up, is the only thing that might have made me tempted to stop.)
My daughter. She is my world. I am so happy she is so accepting to my transition. But if I felt it was affecting her in a negative way, then I might be more apt to at least hiding it till she was a bit older. She is currently 13. After that death...
How do you spell death again?
I might give up after getting splashed with acid by the truck hitting me knocking me into the trains path, then again, maybe! ;D
Theocracy and Politics... I'm more worried about transition options being taken away than I am about stopping voluntarily.
I would say death except for the fact that there are already enough folks out there who would happily see us dead. I don't want to give them that satisfaction.
Too many of us already die from this, often from our own hands. I plan to live... and if I'm denied my rights to be who I am... I'll continue to fight back.
I've considered death too many times in the past to allow myself to entertain that option now.
Death or a persistent vegetative state - until I stop procrastinating on writing out a personal directive.
Then it'll just be death.
Quote from: ErinM on January 19, 2014, 03:54:12 PM
Death or a persistent vegetative state - until I stop procrastinating on writing out a personal directive.
Then it'll just be death.
persistent vegetative state , not a good idea , especially if recycled dreams are involved.
death, health complications wont stop me, id let transition kill me.
I've twice (or more) been at your point and ran back in my younger days. What caused it was the inner conflict between my experiment and the desire to be "normal". At 6ft tall, balding and big everything, normal as a female was far off the radar. Best stick with being a guy.
Kia Ora,
Nothing...Not even death...."I'll be back!"
Metta Zenda :)
Nothing. Ever.
Quote from: stephaniec on January 18, 2014, 07:00:08 PM
I'm just wondering what things if any would cause you to do an abrupt turn and stop transition If any thing would.
I've tried to start transitioning a couple of times, I love the changes to my body but I back out each time. I'm like you my genetics really seem to favor transition. But people started to notice my skin and body shape. An old friends mother who I've known forever only figured out who I was because I was with my wife. My wife was also getting really upset and I was afraid to tell my children. Oh and I'm worried the shock will push my 83 year old father into the grave. So I'm in limbo, probably till I die. All I can say is it's much easier when you don't have a family and are younger.
Somebody had to be the contrarian. :)
I am a woman, and I can't go back to being male. I haven't taken any hormones yet, and I am not sure when that will ever happen. If I do take hormones and they damage my health, I would stop taking them, but that doesn't mean that I would ever go back to being male. I am 67 and each day is just one more step to pushing up daisies. Emotionally I can make changes daily to letting myself feel more and more effeminate. I can experiment with my manner of dress and make up. I can be more and more aggressive on insisting that I be addressed in the female gender. An when death brings my rebirth into the next of God's Worlds I can continue my transition in whatever form possible until gender does not matter. I guess that when gender doesn't matter to me any more than my transition will end and I will be what I will be.
Quote from: JordanBlue on January 18, 2014, 08:18:36 PM
I'm 59 and I've only been on HRT one week. My mind is already more clear and focused that I can ever remember. I feel alive. I feel happy. I have hope. I can remember how I felt before. I was depressed. I felt like the walking dead. I had zero hope. The only thing that would make me stop my transition would be death.
I remember your first posts, JordanBlue. Readying this makes me really happy!!
I've been on HRT 4 months and mentally haven't felt this normal for a very long time
perhaps other than just death maybe something like the world ending and me dying, lol,
I have procastinated for so long and have now started to move forward as me and nothing on earth will stop me ever again.
each of us I am sure have things that control our actions and pathes we choose, though and I am very comfortable
on this one. but this is for me and my world
hope you can find your path and enjoy walk.
Jerri
(It also occurred to me later - as a different sort of contrarian - that in my own definition of transition and my life, the overlooked answer is that I stopped because I was *finished.* :) I'm still trans, but I'm not transitioning anymore. Now I'm just living.)
Falling in love
I had to think long about this one because there are times where i get nervous or worried about my future, but i try not to let my fear hold me back so i just storm forward sword in hand :D
But at this point i'd have to say Death, because when i think back to how i use to feel, and think ahead to how my life could go; i'll take the uncertainty any day compared to what it was to live my life back then.
It took utter desperation for me to transition in the first place. I saw three options:
1) physical death
2) psychological death (irreversibly crawling into my head and never coming out)
3) transition
I would never voluntarily detransition. If I were forced to--by, for example, some sort of totalitarian government--I don't see how I could survive. So I guess my answer, too, is "death before detransition." It sounds overly dramatic, but detransitioning is one thing that I simply cannot and will not do.
I have read de-transitioning threads and understand what leads to that for some people. While I can't think of what would make me stop, I can imagine that constant hostility and pressure may cause a change in perspective. Because I am an expert procrastinator, each milestone has seemed very natural and I don't regret a second. Easy? Not really and there is a long journey ahead.
So far, my wife and children are cool with my changes to date - although I accept I may start to freak them out at any time. Adverse reactions from them enough to end it?? I don't think so but I think that would be the greatest potential source of stress. It might change things but not my transition. Even if I did stop HRT, I would cherish all the changes. I have enjoyed this so much and try to enjoy each day and not let fears rule.
I've got 2 more months still 6 month mark. My body is changing to a point of feeling comfortable. I think turning back would cause far more problems than going forward.
I have asked myself many time if there is any reason for me to stop. Or if anything would make me stop. The moment that question enters my head my immediate response has always been nothing on this earth will stop me. Having to go back to who I used to be would kill me. I was so miserable and the relief and clarity day one of HRT told me who I already knew myself to be.
Quote from: Feyru on January 21, 2014, 05:06:42 PM
I have asked myself many time if there is any reason for me to stop. Or if anything would make me stop. The moment that question enters my head my immediate response has always been nothing on this earth will stop me. Having to go back to who I used to be would kill me. I was so miserable and the relief and clarity day one of HRT told me who I already knew myself to be.
Ī¤hats what I think too...
Who would want for any reason to go back to that despair and agony...
Im only one month on hrt but only the hope of changing is enough for me...
I live thanks to this hope , if it wasnt for that then I cant see a reason to continue...
despair and agony good analogy
I've had to abort transition twice.
The first time I started transition was shortly after I was diagnosed as a type 6 transsexual - someone for whom transition is a matter of life or death.
At the time of diagnosis, I weighed over 275 lbs (closer to 280). When I started RLE, I had 8 years clean and sober and was going to a lot of 12 step meetings. As Debbie, I started going to dances and other social events. Before long I was being asked to sponsor more people at once than I had sponsored in the previous 8 years combined. Once people got to know the REAL ME, they really LIKED her.
It took less than a year to lose over 100 lbs, and I was soon wearing size 16. I was healthy, happy, and loving my life. I also had a girlfriend who was bi and invited a couple of her girlfriends to live with us. Work was amazing, and even though I wasn't dressing at work, I didn't try to hide my feminine side. It came through easily. I also wore feminine shoes and women's pants because they fit so much better (I have a large butt). They knew I was trassexual and planned to transition, and they were actually supportive, many of the executives were women and they liked that i didn't have a fragile male ego that bruised easily.
My therapist had green-lighted me for HRT after I did electrolysis (laser was not available back then).
Then my ex-wife showed me a letter. It was from a school therapist, stating that my visitations were detrimental to the kids and recommended that my visitation be revoked or at least supervised. My ex explained that if I did not stop transition, she would deliver that letter to a sympathetic (fundamentalist Christian) judge who would probably also add a restraining order.
Of course, I would still be required to give her half my after tax income PLUS day-care expenses (even though the kids were being caref for by her new husband). Aborting the transition was terrible. My life started unraveling in some nasty ways. The child support was crushing me financially. The girls left, I had to move into a cheaper apartment. I started gaining weight, by blood pressure was soaring, and I quit my job to go into consulting.
I took on a project to make the internet available commercially (no I did not invent the internet).
I moved to NY for a consulting gig that would get my debts paid off and give me some breathing room on child support. I also started dressing and started exploring transition again. When that engagement ended, I decided to do work in NJ, where I began to establish myself as a leader.
I was invited into a leadership training program where I would eventually be speaking to large groups on a regular basis. There was one condition. I had to "Burn the dresses". Eventually, they asked me "Can you be Debbie in the Suit?". Debbie completely shattered all records in terms of performance and measures, But when speaking to groups I came across as deceptive and inauthentic. I finally dropped out of the program, but only after gaining almost 75 lbs.
Overweight, I began to feel too fat to go out as Debbie. Eventually, I gained another 100+ pounds, peaking out at 330 before having a heart attack. I'd felt like I couldn't transition, and I'd lost the will to live. Fortunately I survived anyway.
I began to realize that if I wanted my health back, I had to bring Debbie back. I put a profile on Match.com with pictures of Rex and pictures of Debbie. Sadly I used Rex as the cover photo. When I got a response back saying "Dude, you're wearing a dress, what's that about", i sent back a full response, explaining that I was transsexual and had aborted transition a while back but wanted someone who could accept and love Debbie as much as Rex.
It turned out that she liked Debbie even BETTER than Rex, and we ended up getting married. She did tell me that I would not be wearing a gown. :-( Still, it was the beginning of a wonderful relationship and there was lots of love for ME, Debbie, and she began to understand that "Rex" was more like a mask I wore, a "clown", a "nerd", and a "Chameleon" who could fit in with almost any group, even though we had nothing in common. I still didn't transition and eventually I had a stroke that took out the left side of my body. I rejected any pain killers and learned to do everything all over again, including writing, walking, and eating with my left hand. Only a neurologist could tell that i'd ever had a stroke now. I still struggle with simple computations like calculating a tip.
Just before my dad died, I went to see him and he told me "If i can't give you anything else, I want you to be yourself, even if that's Debbie". For the rest of his life Debbie was at his bedside, taking wonderful care of him. Just before the end he even thought I was my mother coming to take him home.
After that, I started seeing a gender therapist again, and started transition again. There was a point when my wife realized I was taking hormones, and said "I'm not OK with you transitioning". I stopped everything, therapist, hormones, diet, and RLE. About a month later I told my doctor I had mixed a Prestone Cocktail (antifreeze and Gatorade) and had decided not to drink it. I spent about 6 hours locked up in the psych ward (checking my blood work to make sure I hadn't actually TAKEN the cocktail). I agreed to go back to gender therapy, my wife became more supportive but asked me to take it slow and NOT do SRS, at least until we could be certain that it wouldn't nullify our marriage.
It took longer, but I did return to HRT, taking low doses to allow a gradual transition. Eventually I started working as "Rexxie" and this Thanksgiving Debbie came to dinner to meet the family. They were so pleased with Debbie that she got ALL the Christmas presents. Which was so perfect that I cried tears of joy when they asked if it was OK that Rex didn't get anything. It was PERFECT!
I've lost a LOT of weight, but still have a ways to go (Size 18), and I'm happier and healthier than I've ever been before. My blood pressure is much better and my bloodwork is better than it's been in decades. When people hear me mention my approximate age (a girl never tells her real age), they are often shocked, because I look at least 10-18 years younger.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I had transitioned 40 years ago, but that information was not available then. Thank goodness for sights like Susan's that allow us to share and benefit from the experiences of others who have been down this path.
so glad for you . good luck for the rest of the journey. Yes I'm also so very appreciative that Susan's is here, it does help a lot.
Wow Debbie that was one heck of a story. I'm glad things are working out for you now. :)
Paige
I know this has been said many times here, but it'd be death for me too. I've lived too long as someone I'm not. For the first time in a very long while I feel good about myself. Nope, I've already reached my rubicon, the only thing that could stop me is death. ;)
Debbie, that is a powerful story. You had me in tears part way through. Thanks for sharing!
Debbie I'm actually at a loss for words. I agree a very powerful story. I feel privilaged you took the time to share it with us, and am very happy things are now going your way. Hugs :)
Debbie, you deserve a great life, as we all do. As for me, I have hepatitis C and although my liver is fine right now, if my liver fails someday I've already decided I'll die before I de-transition. Anything before September 7th, 2011, wasn't living, and if I was told that I had to go back to that existence to live, I would correct the person explaining my 'options' and tell them.......I'll just leave it at I'll never go back. I'll never trade this mostly happy life, where I finally see me when I look in the mirror, how I've found acceptance everywhere I go, and now I live life instead of exist, have a boyfriend I love and could someday even marry, and now know quite a few friends who never knew me as a male impersonator and others who'd swear I was born female. Trade those for another unbearable dose of pain, sorrow and agony? No, I'll die as I live, as Miranda Catherine Thomson.
I kind of realized this last week how important my transition is to me. I miscalculated on my funds and ended up with a weeks gap on my estrogen. I can get it in a couple of days, but its made me realize how important it is to me to transition and how much better I feel about my life doing HRT. this short break has awoken me to my need to stay on this path. The past has been an extremely dark and painful place that I can't afford to go back to.
All I know is this last month on hrt has been an eye opener for me. I feel better, I feel right, I have more energy than I've had in years. There's nothing on this earth that could make me stop my transition, nothing! ;)
for me personally if there is such a thing as a miracle drug this is it. I'm only speaking for my self and its affect on me , but it's so amazing the 180 degree turn from wanting to jump off a building every day of your life to having a future with feeling so complete. I'm a woman and estrogen is letting me feel like I've wanted all my life.
At times I think that if I am not able to secure employment I will have to de-transition and go back into the working world as a male.
Thankfully I have a very loving and supporting partner (FTM) who reminds me of how miserable I was trying to live as a male, and how much happier and healthier I have been since I started transition.
I currently have identical profiles on a few major job search websites under both my male and female names. Neither has received any attention worth mentioning, so I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not having a hard time finding work because I am trans, I am having a hard time finding work because the job market sucks, particularly in my field.
Quote from: allisonsteph on January 31, 2014, 05:47:29 PM
At times I think that if I am not able to secure employment I will have to de-transition and go back into the working world as a male.
Thankfully I have a very loving and supporting partner (FTM) who reminds me of how miserable I was trying to live as a male, and how much happier and healthier I have been since I started transition.
I currently have identical profiles on a few major job search websites under both my male and female names. Neither has received any attention worth mentioning, so I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not having a hard time finding work because I am trans, I am having a hard time finding work because the job market sucks, particularly in my field.
doesn't help that the stock market is falling apart either.
I vote against death. Not going to let him stop me either. I recently found this diamond hard spot of stubborn that won't allow me to stop. I will die if I go back, that's a certainty. No health risk is more dire than that, so none will keep me from pressing forward. If the worst case happens, like Anatta I'll be back. :angel:
Quote from: Magdalena on January 31, 2014, 07:25:34 PM
I vote against death. Not going to let him stop me either. I recently found this diamond hard spot of stubborn that won't allow me to stop. I will die if I go back, that's a certainty. No health risk is more dire than that, so none will keep me from pressing forward. If the worst case happens, like Anatta I'll be back. :angel:
well, I realize now each day forward just keeps reinforcing the concrete being laid down preventing any return. It just feels too good.
Quote from: stephaniec on January 31, 2014, 03:09:21 PM
for me personally if there is such a thing as a miracle drug this is it. I'm only speaking for my self and its affect on me , but it's so amazing the 180 degree turn from wanting to jump off a building every day of your life to having a future with feeling so complete. I'm a woman and estrogen is letting me feel like I've wanted all my life.
I couldn't have said this better myself. ;)
Not sorry to say it.
Death.
I have no rhyme nor reason to ever look back.
I hated my male self, and trying to repress it as long as I did, effected me greatly.
Financial collapse. Ultimately the biggest problem facing any transitioner, apart from death. I'm surprised not many have mentioned this aspect.
Whether you're receiving HRT from the NHS or government scheme or funding your own treatment through private healthcare, when your money stops, there is no transition. And if you're in the middle of transitioning or even recieving maintenance HRT doses, then it'll be the beginning of a constant return to the male form.
As it seems the Western economies will (and are beginning to) collapse like dominoes, the worry that I'll be getting into a long-time life-long commitment that'll require thousands of pounds each year....at exactly the time of financial unrest and collapse, is kind of insane logically speaking.
And that's what niggles at my mind (apart from the potential of screwing up my body and loosing all my friends and my job, etc etc).
I do very much hope I'm wrong though. And in years to come, my comment will be laughably morose and pessimistic :)
Death. Nothing else would or could stop me from being me.
Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on February 01, 2014, 05:04:56 PM
Financial collapse. Ultimately the biggest problem facing any transitioner, apart from death. I'm surprised not many have mentioned this aspect.
Whether you're receiving HRT from the NHS or government scheme or funding your own treatment through private healthcare, when your money stops, there is no transition. And if you're in the middle of transitioning or even recieving maintenance HRT doses, then it'll be the beginning of a constant return to the male form.
As it seems the Western economies will (and are beginning to) collapse like dominoes, the worry that I'll be getting into a long-time life-long commitment that'll require thousands of pounds each year....at exactly the time of financial unrest and collapse, is kind of insane logically speaking.
And that's what niggles at my mind (apart from the potential of screwing up my body and loosing all my friends and my job, etc etc).
I do very much hope I'm wrong though. And in years to come, my comment will be laughably morose and pessimistic :)
If this were to happen after what I've been through, there'd be no reason to live, period. So for me death still applies. ;)
Scientists at the huge collider accidentally creating a black hole that swallows the earth. That'd probably do it.
or the sun going supernova
maybe a zombie apocalypse, although that one might only slow things down a tad.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on February 01, 2014, 05:26:49 PM
Scientists at the huge collider accidentally creating a black hole that swallows the earth. That'd probably do it.
or the sun going supernova
maybe a zombie apocalypse, although that one might only slow things down a tad.
transgender zombie ,might work
Come on girls, I think we're getting a little outrageous here: supernova's, black holes sucking on the earth. Why not a Gamma ray burst or a big asteroid -wait I've got it! -Alien invasion......................lmao. ;D
I didn't mention finances b/c there'd be no return to the male form for me... it'd suck, but the only real issue would be osteoporosis. (I've had the downstairs fully remodeled, as it were. No T factories anymore = no risk of return.)
Quote from: Jenna Marie on February 01, 2014, 06:00:18 PM
I didn't mention finances b/c there'd be no return to the male form for me... it'd suck, but the only real issue would be osteoporosis. (I've had the downstairs fully remodeled, as it were. No T factories anymore = no risk of return.)
And this girls is my eventual goal. No more T factories and my downstairs remodeled to match as best as possible what I should have been born with. ;)
Quote from: Allyda on February 01, 2014, 06:36:31 PM
And this girls is my eventual goal. No more T factories and my downstairs remodeled to match as best as possible what I should have been born with. ;)
makes sense
Allyda : I hope you get there someday soon. :) I finished transition a while before, but that was the moment when it was guaranteed that no one could *force* me back.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on February 01, 2014, 07:48:17 PM
Allyda : I hope you get there someday soon. :) I finished transition a while before, but that was the moment when it was guaranteed that no one could *force* me back.
Thanks. I'm very happy for you for reaching your happiness.
As for me, I own my own home, my truck and boat are both paid for, my home is nearly paid for (owe about 6k) and the only family I have left is my adopted Mom and she's too elderly to make the trip here from Orlando to visit -& she knows I'm transitioning anyway. So there really isnt anyone or anything anyone could hold over me to stop me from transitioning. I've just been miserable too long. These last 5 years, and especially this last month on hrt are/is the happiest I've ever been since I can remember. I feel better than I have in years. As I stated in an earlier post -I've reached my rubicon. I'll never turn back. ;)