Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Gina Taylor on January 31, 2014, 10:17:41 AM

Title: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on January 31, 2014, 10:17:41 AM
Just had a little situation. I was at a local Flea Market this morning, and a gentleman who owns a booth told me that I disappointed him, because 5 years ago, when I ran into some trouble then {I had used the female washroom} I had promised him that I wouldn't come back in, and I was in there last week, but now the manager is looking for me, and she may have me arrested for cross-dressing in the Flea Market, just because I broke my promise with this gentleman who used to be the manager back then.  Can this happen or should by gones be by gones? I'm thinking about giving her a letter explaining to her that I'm a full time transsexual and this is the way I live my life now.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Cindy on January 31, 2014, 10:19:09 AM
Quote from: Gina Taylor on January 31, 2014, 10:17:41 AM
Just had a little situation. I was at a local Flea Market, and a friend told me that I disappointed him, because 5 years ago, when I ran into some trouble then {I had used the female washroom} I had promised him that I wouldn't come back in, and I was in there last week, even though he didn't recognize me at first. He did tell me that I did look good, but the manager is looking for me, and she may have me arrested for cross-dressing in the Flea Market, just because I broke my promise with this gentleman who used to be the manager back then.  Can this happen or should by gones be by gones?

Since when was being female a crime in the USA?
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on January 31, 2014, 10:22:18 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 31, 2014, 10:19:09 AM
Since when was being female a crime in the USA?

Back then I was considered a cross-dresser and I guess I freaked out some of the vendors that knew me. So they never really accepted me as a woman or a man, but I guess I blew it when I used the woman's washroom as a woman, but what else was I supposed to do? She once called the police on me and had me escorted out. >:( Of course as we all know, cross-dressing is not against the law either.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: LivingTheDream on January 31, 2014, 02:45:57 PM
I would say let by gones be by gones. 5 years is a long time ago, I doubt they could prove that you used a restroom that long ago, so idk if you could get arrested or in trouble or not still. I definitely would not write a letter to them though, just in case. But I would also make sure to NEVER go back to that place again. Hope this helps, and hope everything works out for you.

-Kelly
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Jessica Merriman on January 31, 2014, 03:10:05 PM
Quote from: Cindy on January 31, 2014, 10:19:09 AM
Since when was being female a crime in the USA?
You would be amazed Cindy! ;)
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Ms Grace on January 31, 2014, 04:37:15 PM
It's remarkable how discriminatory people can be, you're just being yourself, you're there to buy their product, you're behaving yourself so what's their problem? I gather you're in a smallish county and that your options are limited? If not it might be time to find a new flea market...take your business elsewhere. Otherwise sounds like you need to have a serious educational chat with the owner/manager about your circumstances and your rights.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Rachel on January 31, 2014, 05:22:03 PM
Sorry to hear you are having the issue, hugs Gina.

I do not know what the current laws are for bathroom use or discrimination with respect to excluding people from shopping at a flea market. I do not know how she could have you arrested for shopping, you broke no laws. If the guy at the table wanted to file charges then he should have then. It has been 5 years and he is trying to intimidate you.

Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on February 01, 2014, 01:56:03 PM
Quote from: Ms Grace on January 31, 2014, 04:37:15 PM
It's remarkable how discriminatory people can be, you're just being yourself, you're there to buy their product, you're behaving yourself so what's their problem? I gather you're in a smallish county and that your options are limited? If not it might be time to find a new flea market...take your business elsewhere. Otherwise sounds like you need to have a serious educational chat with the owner/manager about your circumstances and your rights.

The population of my town is 141,ooo Ms. Grace, but there is only one person I will still see in this Flea Market, because he sells AVON products. Other than that I can easily find another Flea Market to go to. But I don't really think that trying to educate the owner/manager would really be helpful. But thanks anyway. ;D
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on February 01, 2014, 02:01:19 PM
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on January 31, 2014, 05:22:03 PM
Sorry to hear you are having the issue, hugs Gina.

I do not know what the current laws are for bathroom use or discrimination with respect to excluding people from shopping at a flea market. I do not know how she could have you arrested for shopping, you broke no laws. If the guy at the table wanted to file charges then he should have then. It has been 5 years and he is trying to intimidate you.

I felt that there should have been no problem with using the female bathroom, but just because I was in there really shouldn't have caused them to call the police on me.  But yes, I think you may be right there Cynthia, I think this guy is trying to intimidate me. If needs be, I'll just drop a letter off explaining to the manager/owner that I have been diagnosed with GID and that I am a transsexual and this is the way that I am living my life form now on, and I'll include my psychiatrist's card and my therapist's card as well.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Ms Grace on February 01, 2014, 03:51:24 PM
Quote from: Gina Taylor on February 01, 2014, 01:56:03 PM
...there is only one person I will still see in this Flea Market, because he sells AVON products...
Perhaps you can come to an arrangement with her to buy them some other way?
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: LivingTheDream on February 01, 2014, 04:02:51 PM
Couldn't you buy em off the net? If going there is gonna be such a hassle, I would definitely avoid doing so. If he does actually call the police, who knows what might happen. Even if you don't get in trouble, it'd still be a pain in the butt.
Title: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: ErinM on February 01, 2014, 05:17:46 PM

Quote from: Cindy on January 31, 2014, 10:19:09 AM
Since when was being female a crime in the USA?

I'm in Canada and a lot of laws are similar. If Gina was outright banned from returning to the flea market, then returning would be considered trespassing.

That being said, depending on the state she's in the reason for the ban could be considered discrimination.

Either way Gina, I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of treatment.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: gennee on February 01, 2014, 08:26:49 PM
Wow, Gina! This is a new one on me. You could try explaining your situation. If it doesn't work then go some place else.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on February 03, 2014, 10:36:27 AM
Quote from: Ms Grace on February 01, 2014, 03:51:24 PM
Perhaps you can come to an arrangement with her to buy them some other way?

Always love your suggestions Ms. Grace.  :) But I think that as long as I go in and not make to much of a ruckus, I should have no problem. At least his booth is right at the front of the market.  :)
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on February 03, 2014, 10:41:35 AM
Quote from: gennee on February 01, 2014, 08:26:49 PM
Wow, Gina! This is a new one on me. You could try explaining your situation. If it doesn't work then go some place else.

Yeah. It doesn't make any sense to me either Genee. That they would stop me form shopping there because I'm a transgender. Apparently I had heard that another transgender used to go there, but I guess she was asked to leave. I had heard that she was ugly, and the gentleman who was causing all the problems told me that I was prettier than she was.  :) But if it comes down to it, I may try to explain it to management and promise them that I won't use the washrooms, or I'll go elsewhere and they'll lose my business.
Title: Re: A Past Problem . . .
Post by: Gina Taylor on February 03, 2014, 10:47:14 AM
Quote from: ErinM on February 01, 2014, 05:17:46 PM
I'm in Canada and a lot of laws are similar. If Gina was outright banned from returning to the flea market, then returning would be considered trespassing.

That being said, depending on the state she's in the reason for the ban could be considered discrimination.

Either way Gina, I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of treatment.

Thanks for the information Erin. But technically I wasn't banned form the flea market. When that incident with the washroom had happened, I was approached by a manager, and it wasn't that guy. He had been reprimanded the following day for doing what he had done out in the open. If he had any sense he should have taken me someplace private, and not grilled me right in the open. But anyway, after all was said and done, he just let me go and nothing more was made of it, and that was six years ago. Now this alleged promise that I had made, I do not recall making. But why should I make a promise, when that would be like asking me to stop living.