I used the men's room for the first time yesterday. It was delightfully uneventful.
Gratzes. Never did have an eventful one.
Good for you, man. I've never tried using the men's room before but once I get an STP I will.
congrats, its a great feeling and Mr. Hockey, you can use it even without a stp, I didnt have a stp when I used it, just went into a stall, guys dont really care, they go in, do there thing and go out, no talkin or anything and plus some guys do sit to pee, no one really thinks anything of it, and some guys are "pee shy" and like to use stalls to pee in, personal preference, I do want to try a stp though
Quote from: Ryan55 on February 15, 2014, 04:43:31 PM
congrats, its a great feeling and Mr. Hockey, you can use it even without a stp, I didnt have a stp when I used it, just went into a stall, guys dont really care, they go in, do there thing and go out, no talkin or anything and plus some guys do sit to pee, no one really thinks anything of it, and some guys are "pee shy" and like to use stalls to pee in, personal preference, I do want to try a stp though
I know but I've always been jealous of guys who can stand up to pee. I think using a urinal would be a great feeling to just feel like one of the guys. One day I will use the men's room without an STP since it'll be a while until I can get one, just to see how it is.
I used the stall. No one came in lol. I don't know if I would use one that was more public. I don't really pass well yet.
I pass 100% of the time and I can't use the women's restroom anymore! Very happy. So today I walked into the men's restroom at the Airport with complete confidence used the stall washed and left! I used an stp and I love using the urinals but I feel I'm not as fast at "hooking it up" which has made me very self conscious. I wish there was an stp that could be adhered to the body to limit "adjustment" and speed up the process.
good to hear that you guys are using the men's room. I am in college and do all the time now with no problems. The first time I did on campus, was when I needed to go in between classes and asked a security person as I was going in the building and was told on your left. I headed that way and looked to see that I was heading for the men's, I was dressed in jeans/t-shirt and could be taken as a guy, so I walked in. There were several guys in there; I went into a stall sat down and peed then really realized where I was. I pulled up my jeans and went to the sink washed my hands and no one said anything to me. That first time made me realize how simple and easy it was to use the men's, no chatting or extra time in front of the mirror. Many on campus know my history so I use the men's in a building where I shouldn't meet anyone I know. I am still pre-t so have to change a tampon in there some months too.
Using the guy's bathroom seems so frightening to me. I still have to use the girl's because I am a tiny little thing with a feminine face. But I just dyed my hair all black (previously black and blonde) and it makes me look more masculine. However, the thought of being in the men's room makes my stomach knot up in nervousness.
Quote from: JasperStatik on February 17, 2014, 11:47:08 AM
Using the guy's bathroom seems so frightening to me. I still have to use the girl's because I am a tiny little thing with a feminine face. But I just dyed my hair all black (previously black and blonde) and it makes me look more masculine. However, the thought of being in the men's room makes my stomach knot up in nervousness.
Same here. I've been told that I pass well but I'm afraid someone will call me out.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 12:05:58 PM
Same here. I've been told that I pass well but I'm afraid someone will call me out.
This is my biggest fear. Like someone will know and yell at me like "Hey, you can't be in here!" or the manager will come and make me leave the store or something.
Quote from: JasperStatik on February 17, 2014, 12:13:31 PM
This is my biggest fear. Like someone will know and yell at me like "Hey, you can't be in here!" or the manager will come and make me leave the store or something.
I've only been in a men's bathroom like once at the beach a couple years ago but only because the women's bathroom was closed. I wasn't out yet at the time.
I'll have to muster up the courage one of these days and just walk in there hoping it'll be incident free. It'll have to be when my mom isn't around though; I'm out to her but I know she wouldn't like me going in there.
I don't believe I have ever had anyone look at me in a strange way when I am in the men's. The guys are not looking around and do no or very little talking. I think the only I have heard real talking is when a guys know each other and it's about sports or something like that. My first time happened so fast I didn't have time to get afraid or frighten.
Is it really that fast? Just in and out?
Guys don't spend anymore time in there than it takes to pee, many don't wash their hands, I do ever time I go. Guy don't usually go in groups so no chatting or waiting for each other.
I guess you just gotta walk in, go in the stall and get out. It's true that guys don't really talk while they're in the bathroom so I've heard.
Well, thank you for that tip. And that confidence boost. (:
For the first time, find a place where there is not a lot of traffic so you willn't have to deal with someone seeing you. I always go right pass the urinals, would sure like to try to use one someday. I had a STP but have had poor success with my jean pulled up and using the fly. Don't look around too much in place as that could make someone take a look at you.
I would love to get an STP or at least, make one of my own once I get a packer. I've heard that there is a way to pee standing up with your female parts but it'd be too weird to do in the men's bathroom.
I have a medicine spoon type STP and make it work fine in the spring with no clothes on. With my jean on peeing through the fly doesn't work very well for me, when I get the end low enough for the pee to flow out I loss the seal at the spoon end and leak all over the place. I would sure like to use the urinals but I need to get much better and get a STP that looks good too. Most urinals are close together and have only a small divider between them, but I have seen a few which are like a stall with no door so no one could see what you doing to get adjusted to pee. That is down the road for me now, I am satisfied that I can use the men's with no problem now.
Quote from: JasperStatik on February 17, 2014, 12:13:31 PM
This is my biggest fear. Like someone will know and yell at me like "Hey, you can't be in here!" or the manager will come and make me leave the store or something.
the issue is when you get this going into either restroom =p
I got so many women who had to apologize for me after I opened my mouth (to talk, not to get nasty) when they attempted to chastise me for being in the ladies room. At this point its a pretty clear necessity for me to use the mens room though.
Invading your forum, hope its ok. Ya, guys definitely don't talk much in the bathrooms. If there is a line to use the toilet or urinal, there might be some talking, or if its a bar and people are drunk, as liquor loosens everyone up, but if not, def not much talking.
As for urinals, hate them. I won't use one unless I'm bout to pee myself, would rather wait for stall to open. Really is no privacy, someone next to you could look over and see everything if they wanted to; I just find that horrifying.
As for being "caught" in one, I don't think guys would mind much, if at all. They'd prolly think it was pretty cool and ballsy lol. I'd prolly avoid using the urinals tho if you're not a pro at using it, or if that bathroom is busy or if you have a "neighbor" using it next to you lol.
I haven't been read as female in years, I am legally male with state and fed, I have had top surgery, and I have a full beard from five years of T. Yet an acquaintance was recently surprised that I use the men's room.
::)
I'd like to use the men's eventually except everyone at work thinks I'm a girl... awkward that would be.
I remember one of the last times I used the womens room, I didn't think that I passed as male yet. I was at the airport, used the womens room and on my way out I passed a women going in. She stopped in her tracks, backed up to look at the sign to make sure she was going in the right one, then looked between me and the sign a few times before she finally walked in. Then down in the baggage claim I stopped to find something in my bag and I hear "sir... sir... excuse me sir... ". As I didn't think I passed yet, it didn't even dawn on me that they were talking to me. Then I see the person on my side say "sir can I help you with anything?" I actually had to laugh at myself for not realizing they were talking to me.
Anyways, the first couple times to use the mens room is the hardest because you don't know if you pass or what to really expect. And it feels awkward using what had been considered the "wrong one" your whole life up until then.
Funny thing the last time I used the women's room was at the airport too. I felt so self-conscious. So I stopped. I was rather in between looking and was only passing 50% or so. I figured men would have less problem with this. I have never been questioned.
--Jay
I'm the odd one out here then in that I feel slightly safer in airport toilets, because I can keep one hand on my passport, and thus "proof" that I should be there. Of course, I shouldn't really, but needs must when you're with people who are still under the impression that you're female. I hate airports though because it's almost impossible to avoid them with the length of time you're there.
In public I very rarely use them, but when I do I can almost never guarantee enough that I'll not bump into someone I know, so I dont dare use the men's. At work it's obviously still the female ones for me (I can't disappear somewhere out of the way because I'd get the Navy wondering why I was snooping around one of their buildings!), even then, because another company shares our building if I spot someone else in the toilets I look underneath the dividers to check which companies boots are there and won't come out again unless they're one of us. Back in the accommodation it's okay as people know not to challenge me. Unless there's a guest in, funny story, someone's girlfriend was staying over night, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and realised it was her in the cubicle. I shot into the cupboard the exact same second she walked out of the cubicle and I didn't dare come out again until I was sure she was gone.
Jay, so true, men don't care or look that closely at who is coming in or in the restroom as women do. Confident is the best way to use the the men's, just go in and do your thing and everything will be fine. I have never been questioned or even looked at that I know of while using the men's.
Quote from: GnomeKid on February 17, 2014, 06:56:40 PM
the issue is when you get this going into either restroom =p
I got so many women who had to apologize for me after I opened my mouth (to talk, not to get nasty) when they attempted to chastise me for being in the ladies room. At this point its a pretty clear necessity for me to use the mens room though.
Truth! That was when I switched to the men's room: women began to follow me around to ask me if I knew if I was in the right restroom.
I was kind of nervous too at first: I made sure to locate bathrooms that weren't busy until I built up my confidence. The thing is, guys don't talk to each other, and hardly look at each other when in the bathroom. If you are viewed as male more than half the time, you're probably going to survive the cursory glance anyone gives you.
Anyone heard of the Mr. Fenis? It's pretty cheap and more effective than medicine spoons imo. Not good enough to use at a urinal though, it's too soft to poke through underwear. Does anyone here have experience using a urinal? I'm curious/slightly envious lol.
I think many of us have or do use urinals. Maybe not all the time but often. I haven't had an issue though I prefer the ones that have dividers between urinals such as Kwik Trip stations.
I have never used an urinal; I a not confident that my STP will not leak. I can use it in the shower, but with my jeans up and using it through the fly I can't get the end low enough to have pee run out and still keep a good seal so it leaks and makes a mess. LordKAT how are you successful with a STP?
I've been using the mens room for about 5 years now and since I just got an STP maybe a month ago the majority of that time has been spent sitting down. I've ever been questioned and never gotten weird stares so if anyone has had any suspicions they definitely didn't care.
I used the womens room once a few years ago and it was a terrible experience. I was stared at through the crack in the stall door, whispered about, and followed out when I left.
I find a medicine spoon works very well, attached to a packer, it is a breeze.
I can't make one work for me, LordKAT. My urethra opening seems to be to low down and my jean zipper doesn't go down far enough that I get the pee to flow out of the STP. I have tried all of my jeans and have even tried wearing them a little lower on my hips too, with no success. I can make it work if I unsnap my jeans and pull them down a little.
I ended up getting a peecock which I know is a bit expensive but it works pretty well for out of the pants without much fiddling or anything. I've been having a hard time getting it to work with my anatomy without leaking but I haven't practiced much either. As for restrooms, it's tricky. I'm only partly out to a select handful of people but they would not be ok with me in the men's room either. Having said that, I'm really uncomfortable in the women's room. If I absolutely have to go I'm careful with not being seen going in/out or while in there. It seems I pass well enough in other people's POV for it to be a potential problem. I've actually made it a point to not drink for several hours before going anywhere if I can help it, even if I'm really thirsty. Avoiding restrooms altogether seems to be the easiest thing to do so far lol.
I did some traveling recently, and was pleasantly surprised to find that there are gender-neutral "family" bathrooms in a lot of the airports--more so than I remember, anyways. That's one situation that's improving, at least!
I can STP with a medicine spoon-type packer, can use the urinal or mens if I feel like it/feel like I am passing that day. It takes a while to get the hang of the STP but oh, so worth it! ;)
Quote from: Andy on February 20, 2014, 10:32:17 AM
I did some traveling recently, and was pleasantly surprised to find that there are gender-neutral "family" bathrooms in a lot of the airports--more so than I remember, anyways. That's one situation that's improving, at least!
I can STP with a medicine spoon-type packer, can use the urinal or mens if I feel like it/feel like I am passing that day. It takes a while to get the hang of the STP but oh, so worth it! ;)
I hope this isn't too personal of a question, but how do you use the medicine spoon packer at the urinal without taking your pants down or being obvious?
Quote from: Polo on February 20, 2014, 11:55:16 AM
I hope this isn't too personal of a question, but how do you use the medicine spoon packer at the urinal without taking your pants down or being obvious?
Some guys use a packer with a medicine spoon or other STP built into it. If the packer is somewhat realistic a guy can use a urinal by poking the packer out of the pants. I'm not sure how but guys really don't look around much in the men's room anyway. I have heard of some guys using STPs without packers and doing this. I think they are rather brave. But I have to say, I never have seen anybody look at me at all funny. I do use a stall and sit down though.
--Jay
I may do it different than others, but what I find work well to stay stealth is to leave the tube slightly longer out the back of the packer or prosthetic, then the receptacle can sit lower where it needs to be without having to reposition the rest of your junk. Just move the receptacle (spoon, nipple, etc) lower where needed and all set, just looks like you're holding onto the base of your penis while you're really just pressing the receptacle in the correct place with a couple of fingers.
Quote from: mm on February 19, 2014, 08:04:58 AM
I can't make one work for me, LordKAT. My urethra opening seems to be to low down and my jean zipper doesn't go down far enough that I get the pee to flow out of the STP. I have tried all of my jeans and have even tried wearing them a little lower on my hips too, with no success. I can make it work if I unsnap my jeans and pull them down a little.
I can't make medicine spoons work properly either, unfortunately, I tried multiple times a day for weeks before giving up on using one. I ordered a Mr. Fenis that has a much larger opening/cup, and have no problems with that, but I still have to lower my pants and underwear a bit to use it so I go into a stall... So still on the market for an ideal STP.
Thanks for the tip, overdrive, I'll keep that in mind when I find a better STP.
Unsnapping your pants isn't unheard of but suspenders work well if you do. I'm not the only guy who does this. You have to adjust your stance a bit is all.
Just thought I'd post in here again as I finally had the guts, or rather necessity, to go myself. I broke all the rules of going to a quiet place first, and went in London Liverpool Street station. It was that or continue getting cramp from needing it so badly, and I was stuck there for 3 hours.
All went well, except nearly walking into a guy on the way out.
I recently got comfortable enough to use a medicine spoon at the urinal. What I have discovered works for me is I have to be wearing boxers and pants I can sag slightly so both my fly and my underwear hole are low enough. I literally can't do it if I am wearing briefs or tighter pants. Plus the hole in the briefs is at a weird angle. I tried cutting up my briefs a little to see if that would help, but no, it did not. So yeah, hopefully that is useful to someone. Easy access clothing seems to be essential.
Just a quick update (and in case this is helpful to anyone) I just recently figured out how to slyly use the urinal using that Mr. Fenis I mentioned, which is realistic enough to be passable, and it is awesome! BIG fan of urinals now lol.
I actually just pull down my underwear at the front after unzipping and unbuttoning my jeans to make room for what I need to do. Since it folds to form a nice subtle bulge in my pants, there's not much sleight of hand involved to get it into position.
Guess it was just a matter of practice :)
Not sure how you manage to arrange the Mr Fenis and go, but you much be very talented. :)
--Jay
I try to avoid the mens room at all cost. Even though I pass 100% of the time (even before I came out, people thought I was a boy) I'm always afraid that there will be that one time that I don't pass and something will happen. Or I'll run into somebody who knows I was born female and it'll be really weird. But I have used the mens room about 3 times since I came out 2 years ago and each time it really was uneventful. I think we psych ourselves up and then it's really just like going to the bathroom any other time. The first time I was so nervous though that my leg was shaking really bad and it was kind of weird because my shoes were kind of tapping on the tile. But like everybody says, men really do not care. Sometimes I'm still paranoid that a guy in the bathroom will be able to tell the difference between a guy sitting down to pee and a "girl" sitting down to pee. But nothing bad has happened so far. As soon as I get a job I'm going to start saving up to get an stp though because I know I'll feel a lot more comfortable going to the bathroom that way.
I definitely cannot use the womens room though because I do pass so well. I haven't been in there since shortly after I came out but I know that it freaks the girls out quite a bit. I remember the first time I went in there after I cut all my hair off and started wearing a binder, a woman almost broke her neck from whipping her head around to look at me...it was quite comical. After the initial surprise, I think they just assume I'm a lesbian or something. Still really uncomfortable for everybody involved though, including me.
Thanks, Jay :) it did take a bit of practice but since it's sitting in my pants anyway... I do generally use the deeper sided (or better yet, walled off) urinals for the extra privacy so no one can see anything even if they're looking.
Finding James: I used to be really nervous to use the men's room too. But the truth is, men don't make eye contact or look at each other or talk when in the restroom. If you are passing well enough that you are having issues in the women's room, you will definitely pass in the men's room, because no one is doing anything more than a cursory glance (at the very most). If you're confident in your belonging there they won't take any issue.
I def get paranoid about my pee sounding different when I sit down (I've since mastered the "silent pee on the inside bowl" lol), but peeing from an STP sounds different once you get one. If you want to check it out, the Mr. Fenis is pretty cheap.
Congrats! I use the men's room in my dorm, but I'm not ready to use the one at work or anywhere else quite yet.
Are you out at work? What do you use there now? I use them all the time.
I am not out at work but there are three unisex one seaters in our program area.
Quote from: Polo on March 30, 2014, 09:36:24 PM
But the truth is, men don't make eye contact or look at each other or talk when in the restroom.
This hasn't been my experience. I mean, it's true more often than not, but I have had a variety of deviating experiences.
In a gas station bathroom of all places, there were three guys standing around talking. Uncomfortable and distracting for me sitting in the stall, trying to do my business, while they're gabbing away. Never understood people who want to stand near public toilets and have a chat right then and there.
Even though I don't make any eye contact I am still afraid when I go to the mens room because I would only use the stalls (even if I was born with a penis) because peeing out in the open felt disturbing ever since I first saw how the mens bathroom was. I do wonder if it's like that all over the world.
I won't pee in a urinal either unless absolutely neccesary, i.e I'm bout to pee myself or theres no toilets at all in the place. But ya, peeing out in the open like that is just weird and disturbing to me as well.
I went in the men's room and used the urinal!
I got lucky and there was no one in there but at least it was a bit of a confidence boost.
Quote from: Arch on April 06, 2014, 08:08:59 PM
This hasn't been my experience. I mean, it's true more often than not, but I have had a variety of deviating experiences.
What kind of deviating experiences? And tbh I don't have much experience with gay bar restrooms, like some have mentioned I imagine that could get very different...
And congrats Christopher! Urinals are my favorite way to go these days lol
Hi Arch, I was also curious about your experiences if you don't mind sharing.
Have used the mens room for many years. I have a phalloplasty done several years. But, i still don't like using the urinals or stall.
The noise in the restroom and the talking! Yes most of the time when there are a lot of people (for excample by the border to France Belgium there is a gastation with a lot of urinals!) And it is there always busy. The men are laughing and yelling. And the fathers with ther child are talking. So it is not true that they don't talk at all. Somethimes there are women with her husband who are invalide and waiting there (by the urinals) because of the handicapt W.C) .
Well , for me have a shy bladder (is that the correct word?) I can't pee with someone behind /next or even in the room. But also the noise! Everytime i go to pee i must hear nothing. Sometimes when there are not enough urinals people stands behind you and waiting when your ready. Well excusse me, i cant prefform under preasure! So mostly i look behind and give them a look and then the go furder away but that doesnt help either. So i stop and walk away without peeing.
I never had those problems though. But it happend once when i had to go with urethra complications and the pee didn't came out so i was freaking out. Since then i can't relax in public restrooms.
So when i enter the restroom i just choose a urinal and hope for the best. But mostly it is (for me) a kind of compition because of my shy bladder people after me are finnished earlier so i feel a lot of preasure.
Funny isnt it? You have penis, with an working urethra and you can't use the urinals and sometimes (when it is noisy) even no stall. And the problem is getting worse by the time. Mabye i need therapy or something. Or i think to much when i go. Don't know. The problem is new for me. I know that there are more people like me. My younger brother is also one of them. He can't pee outside the house. Its a fobia isnt it? Well mabye must look for help because i travel a lot to France - Belgium ansd to the Netherlands and even 25 hours to Hungary so i really need public restrooms.
Yeah funny but stupid
You aren't in the US, so this all may be cultural. Guys usually do NOT talk in bathrooms in the US. I wouldn't say it is silent, but it's not from talking. I haven't used a men's room in Europe, so I don't know. Women talked in the bathrooms in Europe and the UK, I think they did anyway, I didn't really notice as that's what I was used to.
--Jay
Quote from: aleon515 on April 13, 2014, 10:18:46 AM
You aren't in the US, so this all may be cultural. Guys usually do NOT talk in bathrooms in the US. I wouldn't say it is silent, but it's not from talking. I haven't used a men's room in Europe, so I don't know. Women talked in the bathrooms in Europe and the UK, I think they did anyway, I didn't really notice as that's what I was used to.
--Jay
Well i havent been in girls restroom for over 14 years. I don't remember that they are talking. My mother doesn;t talk. It a little bit strange to talk in a public bathroom with strange peiple to talk isnt it? Yeah.
My point is, in menks room and girls room people talk. And the talking is moslty (all the time) because of groups friends who go together.
I do know that in USA they have nog doors in the stalls! What the hell man ???
No they have doors for men's stalls, except sometimes. I have never run into this but some guys here have. Now broken locks, very common, and much more so for men's rooms.
--Jay
When I use to use the mens room, the worst were dance clubs where there would be no doors on the stalls. It wasn't all of them, but quite a few were that way.
Quote from: mm on February 19, 2014, 08:04:58 AM
I can't make one work for me, LordKAT. My urethra opening seems to be to low down and my jean zipper doesn't go down far enough that I get the pee to flow out of the STP. I have tried all of my jeans and have even tried wearing them a little lower on my hips too, with no success. I can make it work if I unsnap my jeans and pull them down a little.
Try wearing men's jeans - the zippers go down lower.
Quote from: aleon515 on April 13, 2014, 07:35:17 PM
No they have doors for men's stalls, except sometimes. I have never run into this but some guys here have. Now broken locks, very common, and much more so for men's rooms.
--Jay
Funny no doors. Well in poor Hunarian hood or in France and Italia you just have a hole in the ground not only in the mensroom but also in the ladyroom. But without a door?? I never seen that in Europe though.
Broken doors and locks ... tjah normal in bussy toilet rooms. Things are sometimes broken. It is not someting specific for "mens room" . The lock of my toilet door is broken too. Had no time to fix it. Just a matter of priority. Those things happend. In most "small" gas stations the lady room doesnt work well (no water) or toilet papier . Thats why you see (in Europe) more lady's in the mens room then men in Lady room. Bye the way: in Europe you see just toilets for both. I think Europe doesn't make an big problem of it. Well not as big in USA. I hear so much trouble from cis and transman in USA and that they are scared to be in the wrong room.
I think europeans are open and easier. It is not strange. I think Americans are making a big line between men's room and women's room. They descripe specific sterotype things as "typical men" for example: no talking , no looking ! Ect. and women's room typical stereotype things as : a lot of talking making contact with everyone.
I think thats stereotyping. Men look at eachother. I look arround when iam going. When my father is going we just talk. It is not an funeral or something hahah.
Well iam not good in English, so can't explain it well. I just want to say that i hear here stereotype things are given to men's room. It is just a toilet for god sake not a sercret danger mission :D
christopher, congratulations on using am urinal successfully, that is my goal. What type of STP are you using.
szikha, congratulations on having a successfully phalloplasty, what type do you have and who was your surgeon? I would like so much to get one and to be able to use an urinal whenever I needed to go. I can easily see how one can be pee shy; I can be pee shy using a stall in the men's when there are lots of guys in there. I have had to leave a couple of times without peeing when I couldn't go no matter how hard I tried.
mac1, I do wear men's jeans all the tim and still have the problem. What style STP are you successful using at an urinal with jeans?
I try to use the restrooms at the newer service stations. It is at the older ones and the dance/club places that you find the bad poorly maintained restrooms. One thing is that I can say is that I have never seen a pad, tampon or blood on the floor in the men's, that I have seen in the women's many times.
I only know what I have heard about restrooms in Europe and women in the men's is something I have heard about. Also having an opening between the two so you use the one that is less busy and there is a woman attendant in the men's.
Quote from: mm on April 14, 2014, 08:46:13 AM
...............................
mac1, I do wear men's jeans all the tim and still have the problem. What style STP are you successful using at an urinal with jeans?
................................
I am currently a male with male parts so I don't use a STP. However, I always sit to pee as it is more pleasant and convenient for me.
Sorry, my mistake mac1.
Mm: you didn't ask me so this might be a peanut gallery comment, but I use a Mr. Fenis stp at the urinal without having to pull my jeans down, I've written about it earlier in this thread if you're researching STPs.
Quote from: mac1 on April 14, 2014, 09:03:52 AM
I am currently a male with male parts so I don't use a STP. However, I always sit to pee as it is more pleasant and convenient for me.
Maybe because you're a girl?
--Jay
Quote from: aleon515 on April 14, 2014, 03:14:24 PM
Maybe because you're a girl?
--Jay
No! I am not a girl but it would be nice if I could easily present (and be accepted) as either a girl or a guy without question. :)
I have never been obsessed with my male genitals and they currently don't serve any real purpose for me.
Quote from: mm on April 14, 2014, 08:46:13 AM
what type do you have and who was your surgeon? I would like so much to get one and to be able to use an urinal whenever I needed to go. I can easily see how one can be pee shy; I can be pee shy using a stall in the men's when there are lots of guys in there. I have had to leave a couple of times without peeing when I couldn't go no matter how hard I tried.
Forearm phalloplasty. In Belgium UZ Gent Hospital. Done by Prof Monstrey (and doc Houtmeyers) and prof Lumen ( urologist).
It is so easy and fun! Well if you aren't pee shy :D . I never was though, just happend almost one year ago when i had to pee with major urologic complications. It was traumatic and result in shy bladder and way to big focus on peeing. It will disepear with the time
Quote from: mac1 on April 14, 2014, 09:21:16 PM
No! I am not a girl but it would be nice if I could easily present (and be accepted) as either a girl or a guy without question. :)
I have never been obsessed with my male genitals and they currently don't serve any real purpose for me.
Okay I'm sorry. I think I was looking more at your picture and not your question mark. But for some guys we do have some dysphoria re: sitting. I am not sure if you are aware of that. OTOH, I think some of us feel if we have to we'd just sit and be done with it as quick as possible. If I *could* do it without a mess I would. But just can't really.
--Jay
Quote from: aleon515 on April 15, 2014, 11:33:38 AM
Okay I'm sorry. I think I was looking more at your picture and not your question mark. But for some guys we do have some dysphoria re: sitting. I am not sure if you are aware of that. OTOH, I think some of us feel if we have to we'd just sit and be done with it as quick as possible. If I *could* do it without a mess I would. But just can't really.
--Jay
There is nothing for you to be sorry about. We all have some disphoria to be concerned about. Mine has been an ongoing desire to be able to present myself as female occasionally with my wife. However, her views are too rigid to permit that. >:( If there was a way for me to partially transition naturally she would be able to accept that and might permit me to be more open about it.
I'd like to modify my earlier statement of guys not talking to each other in the restroom. I was at the urinal earlier after a quiz doing my business, when another guy came in. I was staring at the wall per usual, when he started talking to me! He was actually a classmate who I'm starting to become friends with, asking me how I thought I did. Totally positive and friendly experience, but if I hadn't already been doing so I might have peed myself in surprise :P
Polo, very interesting the guy of been comfortable asking you and thinking you would also be comfortable answering him. What did you say to him? I have never had a guy that I knew in the restroom with me.
I was surprised too, especially because he's kind of a naturally shy guy, but just the other day we kind of bonded on a beef jerky run haha. We were both EMTs before joining this program, so we've had some similar experiences. I just responded to his question, and talked about the projects that we had due that day, school stuff. It was enough to get us through hand washing and walking back to class. I do wonder what he thinks I have down there though lol
I expect he is very interested in how you are able to pee standing there.
Lol probably. But he went to the furthest urinal away from me so nothing awkward.
Curiosity is I'd say the biggest "hurdle" I've experienced with people knowing I'm Trans.
That is normal for guys to go to the farther away urinal. I have never used one but see guys at them all the time. The men's setup at stadiums is always interesting to me where there are a row of urinals along a wall with no dividers. A guy at each one and some times guys waiting behind them. Guys just walk up unzip and go looking at the wall straight ahead, they could easily turn at little see 6, 7, 8 guys doing the same. No one seems to be pee shy here. I have had to wait 5-10 minutes sometimes for a stall and have seen the whole process repeated. I have never seen a penis there or seen a guy look at anyone there either, everyone is zipped up when they turn around.
Curiosity of others is interesting too for me. Many of the students know I am trans but never have I had anyone ask me outright and i get the idea sometimes that someone would like too, both male and females.
Quote from: mm on April 14, 2014, 08:46:13 AM
christopher, congratulations on using am urinal successfully, that is my goal. What type of STP are you using.
I'm using a model d packer.
Quote from: mm on April 22, 2014, 01:46:36 PM
That is normal for guys to go to the farther away urinal. I have never used one but see guys at them all the time. The men's setup at stadiums is always interesting to me where there are a row of urinals along a wall with no dividers. A guy at each one and some times guys waiting behind them. Guys just walk up unzip and go looking at the wall straight ahead, they could easily turn at little see 6, 7, 8 guys doing the same. No one seems to be pee shy here. I have had to wait 5-10 minutes sometimes for a stall and have seen the whole process repeated. I have never seen a penis there or seen a guy look at anyone there either, everyone is zipped up when they turn around.
Curiosity of others is interesting too for me. Many of the students know I am trans but never have I had anyone ask me outright and i get the idea sometimes that someone would like too, both male and females.
I can do the urinals that have the right kind of well that I can lean into and then don't need a wall. I actually came across a trough urinal the other day though, I'd need a much more realistic STP or a locking door to try that one.
I've talked about my trans-ness to 2 of my classmates/friends, and they both said that they were curious but weren't sure if it would make me uncomfortable and figured I would tell them stuff if I was ready and comfortable. I bet people are just being polite. I wish all of our brothers/ sisters/ siblings could have a similar experience.
One day hopefully i will be as brave as you all and use the men's room but for now sins I'm pre everything and haven't come out to anyone I'm stuck in the women's bathroom for now
My two cents:
I sometimes use an STP, most of the time I dont because i'm still getting used to adjusting and using it quickly without fiddling too much. I always use the mens rooms and havent been questioned. Guys won't question you because they don't pay attention to others. They go in, go toilet, and leave. Men also don't talk in there, so if I guy asked if you were supposed to be in the mens room, he would draw attention to himself. I sit down to pee and no one has noticed. I was really nervous at first too, but had an ftm friend of mine just pull me into the men's room, and I realised it wasnt as scary as i thought it'd be.
mynameisjacob, glad to see that you have learned that using the men's is not scary at all. Life is much simpler and nicely for me to use the men's as I am seen as a guy now. I am still figurine out the best STP for me and how to use one with my jeans on.
My STP packer is from thetransitionalmale. I have to have my pants down past my ass to use it though, so when I do use it i am in a stall. Its really easy to learn to use stp, and quite realistic as far as packers go (not prosthetics)